


Beyond The Point Of Weird

by IAmAllYetNotAtAll



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 20-Year-Old Louis, 29-Year-Old Harry, Bottom Louis, But mostly fluff, Complete, Ex-Rockstar!Harry, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Louis-centric, M/M, Smut, Top Harry, all sexy/triggery tags inside due to there being too many, harry gets his moments too, kind of, lots of fluff, pretending to date, they both cry sometimes, uni!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:36:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 108,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmAllYetNotAtAll/pseuds/IAmAllYetNotAtAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis meets Harry one night and well... Of course things lead from one thing to another. How could Louis not be interested in having a go at the ex-Rockstar who'd starred in his first wet dream?</p><p>When Harry asks him to pretend to be his boyfriend to help him clear up his image, Louis agrees because why the fuck not. Yet it kind of feels like the only 'fake' part of their relationship is the title they chose for it... And then it gets confusing.</p><p>Louis' pretty sure he walked right into a trap - one he's not quite sure he wants to escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy folks! This story is just about complete and I thought I'd start putting out chapters. It's over 95K right now, and still a bit more to go. Like tagged, it's mainly just fluff. They both cry sometimes (a lot). Lots of feelings and shenanigans. I wanted to be sure to tag everything, but didn't want to overwhelm the tag section so I'll be putting them all here.
> 
> Sexy tags: anal sex, gay sex, blowjobs, handjobs, shower sex, wall sex, rimming, car sex, mentions of sex toys, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm, fingering, riding.
> 
> Triggery tags: mentioned briefly in passing, not explained in detail or necessarily about the two boys - suicide, suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, alcohol poisoning, drug overdose, abortions, underage sex/rape, self-loathing, use of heroin and pot, rehab. More in detail - lots of crying, some anger and arguing, self-hatred.
> 
> There may be more, but I can't seem to think of them now. If there's any of these tags that you would like to know when they are approaching, let me know and I can put a note at the start of the specific chapter.
> 
> Chapters will be uploaded every Friday, I think. I may put them out a bit more often once I've finished, but for now that's the plan.

Louis could see an opportunity when it stood before him in skinny jeans and a fancy ass blazer that was far too posh for the shitty club they were in. Maybe that was why he was there in the first place - dirty, grungy, too much smoke on the ceiling, and a fucktonne of people who didn't give a shit.

He was almost too young to know the name Harry Styles, former rockstar who'd risen to the top eleven years ago and crashed into dust about four years later. Yet it had been his favourite music back when he was younger and the incredibly attractive singer had been the star of his first wet dream. At the time he hadn't quite understood why the band was making less music, eventually fading off and becoming a distant memory to the music world, but his name popped up every once in a while after each new scandal and Louis understood more and more what was going on.

There were less stories in the last couple years, stories of rehab and settling down the most of it, and he didn't have a drink in hand so, Louis figured it might be alright to walk over and say hello. Hopefully a little more if he got his way.

"Hey." Louis stepped up next to him, the crowd thick with hardly enough room to breathe. Harry had a few people near him, clearly with him, but Louis wasn't convinced they were the singer's friends. He didn't pay them any attention, and they did the same.

"Hey." Harry said back, a smirk on his lips as he looked him up and down.

"I'm Louis." He introduced himself, stepping that much closer to the taller man. With the once-over he'd just gotten, Louis figured it was wanted. Harry was almost thirty, but still in shape with wild curls and gag me lips. It was almost unfair. Louis hoped he'd age that well.

"Harry." His voice certainly hadn't changed one bit either since the last time Louis had heard it. Probably in some interview many, many years ago.

"Are you here to stand around, or do you want to dance?" Louis said straight to the point.

"Looks like I'm here to dance." Harry smiled brightly and placed a hand at his waist to guide the two of them to the dance floor.

Soon enough they had joined the other dancers in what could hardly be considered dancing, but Louis loved even better. What better way to tell if someone was going to be a good fuck than by how they grind on the dance floor?

Louis wished he could go back to his twelve year old (hella confused) self and let him know that yes, very gay and definitely getting that dick. If the way Harry was feeling him up was anything to go by. He'd always known Harry lived in the city, but London was a big place and Harry had been pretty much incognito for several years now. Louis would consider this a lucky day.

"How old are you?" Harry spoke directly into his ear, voice low and husky.

Louis frowned at the question, but remembered one of the scandals behind Harry's name and understood why he'd feel the need to ask. He turned his face to the side, and Harry bent low to hear him. "Twenty."

"Proof?"

He turned around and pressed up against him, reaching a hand down and grabbing Harry's belt, tugging sharply once, "How about I prove it in the cab, hm?" He could see Harry thinking, and getting a little bored with the conversation leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

If he was all warm and tingly and desperately horny before, well... He may have made some sort of noise he was going to vehemently deny making later. He was ridiculously hard from just a bit of making out, but this was Harry Styles, wet dream of the ages, and he felt it was justified. It didn't help that he was a very good kisser, and his hands were huge and had gone straight to his bum to grip him tightly.

Louis brought his hands up, his fingers grazing across his toned stomach and chest, up to his shoulders then his hair. He dug his fingers in his curls, tugging hard enough to part their lips. He looked up at Harry, cheeks flushed and lips kissed out, and let out a shaky breath at the needy gaze directed straight at him. "So?"

"Fuck. Yeah, yeah let's go."

Harry took his hand and practically dragged him out of the club. They took the back door, a fancy car (Louis was guessing at Mercedez) with tinted windows was waiting for them. Harry opened the door to the back seat and gestured Louis to enter first, following quickly after.

Once in the vehicle Louis briefly noticed the chauffeur in the front seat, kind of recognizing the face as one of the people who'd been inside the club with Harry earlier, but his focus was soon drawn elsewhere. As soon as Harry had taken a seat and closed the door he moved to straddle his lap.

"To mine." Harry told the driver before allowing the boy on his lap to have his full attention.

Louis kissed him again, rolling his hips and grinding against Harry. His hard-on had slightly softened with the cool London air, but he was quickly heating up all over again. Harry was leaning back against the leather seats, letting Louis do whatever while his hands touched anywhere they could, under his t-shirt and up and down his thighs and back to his bum, as if he wanted to touch everything he could reach.

After a minute or so Harry moved his head to the side, breaking their kiss. "You still owe me proof." He sounded breathless and positively sinful.

A little upset by the sudden pause in their fun, Louis moved just enough to grind down at the perfect angle to make Harry moan. Maybe he was hard as fuck, but so was Harry and he knew how to take advantage of that. But he still sat up and reached into his front pocket to pull out his wallet. Harry was twenty-nine (if Louis remembered correctly) and from a legal standpoint it made sense he'd want to be sure. Especially with all the shit he'd gone through.

After a bit of struggling with the tiny wallet he pulled out his license and handed it to Harry to read over the birth date.

"You're lookin' at a real 90's kid over here. Twenty years later it's all shitty homework and fucking strangers." Louis grinned, pleased with the laugh he pulled from Harry. 

Harry handed back the license, a sheepish grin on his lips, "Sorry, babe. Probably seems weird, but I swear there's a reason for my madness."

"It's cool." Louis shoved the I.D in its place and put his wallet back in his pocket, "I'll take it as a compliment."

Harry leaned forward and attached his lips to his neck, marking it up so it'd show in the morning. Louis moved his head to the side, biting his lips to hide his moans, but his hips continued to move without his consent.

"H-how long until-"

"Soon." Harry interrupted, biting down harder just to hear Louis moan loudly.

His skin was boiling, and there was the familiar pressure in his stomach. The last thing he wanted was to cum in his jeans before they'd even stepped foot in the house, but he could hardly bring himself to stop. He couldn't have been more grateful for the full stop of the car forcing them to part to exit the vehicle.

"Thanks, mate." Harry said to the driver, but was already opening the back door and stepping out before he could say a response.

Harry extended a hand to help Louis out of the car, and he took it happily. A sexy prospective fuck was always nice, but a sexy, gentlemanly, prospective fuck was even better.

Louis finally took a look at where they were, and despite knowing full-well who Harry was, he was still astounded by the enormous house in front of them.

It was definitely too big for one person. Louis was convinced there was an entire country hiding in it.

Harry led him inside, clumsily slipping his key into the lock and pulling them through the front door. "Bedroom?" Harry asked, already leading them there once they'd taken off their shoes at the front door.

"Yeah."

Down a couple halls Harry opened the door to a surprisingly plain bedroom. Louis had expected something a little more... cheerful? There were white walls, a bland bedroom set, and regular brown sheets on the bed. There was nothing on the floor and no pictures or anything of the sort on the walls or on the dressers.

Though he was tempted to say something on the matter, his attention was quickly drawn back to Harry as he pulled him in for a hard kiss, reaching down and effortlessly picking him up. Instinctly Louis wrapped his legs around Harry's waist, somehow more turned on than he'd been previously. Oh how he loved being manhandled. And he loved when a man could manhandle him.

Harry brought them to the bed, laying Louis down and letting him settle with a pillow beneath his head, and crawled on top of him, hardly giving him time to breathe between kisses. Louis pulled off Harry's blazer and threw it aside, hands pulling off the plain white t-shirt next. He was even fitter than Louis had thought and his tattoos still looked hot as fuck.

Harry had his face buried in his neck, kissing and sucking, making even more bruises. Louis wasn't usually too fond of the hickey thing, but he could tell Harry loved it, so he figured he'd indulge him this once. He pulled back long enough to pull off Louis' shirt before returning to kissing down his stomach.

"How much did you have to drink tonight?" Harry asked, kissing right below his navel. He looked up at him, waiting patiently for a response.

Louis stared at him a moment, not too sure what he was talking about, "Uh, like one drink."

"Okay, sorry. Just wanted to be sure. You don't taste like alcohol or anything, I thought I should ask though, anyways." He mumbled, going back to kissing his stomach. He started working on taking off Louis' jeans.

"Oooh," He said realizing what he was talking about, "Scared of taking advantage of lil' ol' me?" Louis laughed, and Harry glared up at him, mildly offended.

"There's nothing wrong with-" Harry started to defend himself, but Louis interrupted him.

"It's alright, Harry. Come now, let me show you exactly how sober I am." Louis pushed him off, making him land on his back next to him, and he quickly moved to straddle his hips once again. He could feel Harry's cock pressed against his bum, still trapped in his too-tight jeans. Louis moved his hips in little circular motions, pressing against Harry's erection.

Harry had his eyes closed, mouth parted and breath coming out in little puffs. His hands were gripping Louis' thighs tightly, fingers digging into the material of his jeans. His own hips were moving up, meeting Louis' short bouncing movements.

He eventually opened his eyes, looking up at Louis with a heated gaze, "Gonna ride me, baby?"

Louis stretched his arms up, seeming indifferent to the obvious torture he was putting Harry through, "May-be." He singsonged. He placed his hands on Harry's chest and bent his face closer, kissing him softly. "But you gotta say please!" He teased, pulling back.

"Yeah, okay. Please ride me, baby." Harry said without second thought.

He straightened up again, "Where do you keep the lube? Got a condom, too? I have one on me, but probably not your size."

"I got it." Harry turned a bit to the side, a tad difficult with Louis' weight on his hips, and reached into the nightsand to pull out what they needed. "Fuck, stop that." He bent a leg, effectively stopping Louis from bouncing on his crotch any further. He didn't even realize he was doing it, but he couldn't say he wasn't enjoying the effect he was clearly having on Harry.

Harry settled back down and placed the bottle of lube and the condom packet on his stomach, "There we go." 

Louis stepped off the bed and hastily pulled off the rest of his clothing, Harry doing the same. In no time at all he was back to straddling Harry completely bare, quite fond of the position. He swiped a finger through the small dab of precum on Harry's stomach, where his dick was hard, red, and leaking, and brought his fingertip between his lips and sucked it clean. He couldn't deny he didn't like the way Harry was looking at him, full-on horny and needy.

He took the bottle of lube in hand, popping the lid and squirting a good amount in his hand. He spread it across his fingers, bending forward and placing one hand on Harry's shoulder to keep himself balanced while his other hand took care of prepping himself. Harry's hands travelled down his back and to his bum, gripping his cheeks and spreading them apart. The first finger slipped in easily, and he quickly put in a second one. He was making a mess with the lube, but that was one thing he wouldn't complain about.

Harry reached for the discarded bottle of lube and spread some across his fingers, reaching down to Louis' hole, "Is it okay?" He asked, voice cracking with need.

Louis was already panting slightly with two fingers, but the idea of having Harry's large fingers in him was too much to refuse, "Yeah, yeah." He was going to pull out his fingers, but Harry gripped his wrist and kept his hand in place.

"Keep them in, yeah?"

"Okay." He continued to move his fingers, waiting for Harry's to join. He hated fingering himself, too impatient to do it well and hands too small to feel quite right, but he loved when his partner would do it (if they did it well, that is).

Harry slipped in one finger with little resistance, Louis' hole already hastily stretched from his own erratic movements, but Harry took it slowly. Their fingers brushed against each other, Louis' not quite getting to the knuckle with his shorter reach, but Harry was going in all the way easily. After a short moment Harry pressed in a second finger with a little more struggle than the first one.

"Fuck, Harry, come on." Louis had bent down as much as he could, resting his upper body on Harry and doing his best not to put pressure on his aching dick. He really needed to get properly fucked, and the sooner the better.

"You think you're good?" Harry asked, continuing to move his fingers in and out, picking up speed and twisting the angle until he landed on his prostate. He smiled smugly when he found it, eliciting a beautiful moan from Louis' lips.

"Yes, yes, yes, fucking Hell. Just get on with it will you?" Louis pulled his fingers out, as did Harry, and pushed himself into a seated position. His breath was heavy and there was already sweat in his hair, yet they hadn't even begun the best part.

With shaky fingers Harry picked up the condom packet, gently tore it open and placed it on himself. Not the easiest task with one lubed hand, but he was determined. Louis took the lube again and placed more in his hand, and once the condom was on, he grabbed Harry's dick in his hand and started spreading the lube on it. He pressed his hips down firmly when Harry started moving his own hips to try and get more pressure from Louis' hand.

"Patience, Harry, patience." Louis chided teasingly, as if he wasn't feeling just as desperate.

He moved up until he could align himself properly, Harry's hands digging into his waist. He reached behind himself and grabbed Harry's dick, lining it up and sinking down on it slowly.

"Fuck." He groaned softly, eyes fluttering closed for a moment while he enjoyed the feeling of being filled up. They'd done a good job of prepping and it didn't hurt, and he was quickly able to start rocking his hips. His hands went to Harry's chest and he used them for support as he moved up and down, the smooth glide of cock inside him familiar and fantastic.

Harry met his movements, pressing up as he moved down, and watched Louis' face and lips as he moaned and gasped when he hit his prostate. "So gorgeous, Louis. Fuck, so good." Harry babbled almost nonsensically.

Louis kept bouncing until his thighs started to burn, unfortunately having spent so much time grinding on Harry's lap his legs were already fatigued. When it got to the point he could hardly continue, he bent forward and pressed their chests together and let Harry do the work, "Thighs hurt." Louis mumbled sheepishly against Harry's shoulder.

Harry placed his feet down on the bed and bent his legs, fucking up into him, "S'all good, baby." His hands were squeezing his hips and forcing Louis to push down as he continued to thrust up.

The angle wasn't quite as good, but there was far more friction on his cock that was trapped between their chests and it was fantastic. He buried his face in Harry's neck, sweaty and panting, letting Harry guide his thrusts with the hands on his hips without any protest. "Need more, Harry."

"Flexible?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Louis replied quickly, knowing what he meant and he was definitely up for that.

Harry slowed his hips, wrapped his arms around Louis and held him steadily as he gently flipped them over so Louis was on his back with his knees drawn to his chest. Louis was quite impressed how he could do that without taking his dick out of his ass, but figured he'd pat him on the back when he wasn't busy getting fucked. Harry maneuvered Louis' legs over his shoulders, bent forward and gripped the sheets on either side of Louis. Now comfortable in the new position, he started thrusting again, this angle far better.

He went hard and fast, taking Louis by surprise. One of his hands went up to the banging headboard, using it as support against Harry's hard thrusts, and his other hand gripped Harry's biceps tightly, "Jus' like that, Harry, so good." He could hardly stop his moans, his thrusts meeting his prostate almost every time.

There were tears in his lashes and his thighs were shaking with exhaustion and need - he needed to cum so bad. His cock was aching, leaking precum against his stomach, and he desperately wanted to get a hand on himself, but it wasn't often that he could feel like he could actually cum untouched. He just needed a little more.

"Harry, please, please." He begged, not quite sure what he wanted exactly.

Harry leaned even further forward, placing sloppy kisses on Louis' face and neck. He whispered softly, voice low and husky, "Gonna cum for me? Gonna cum from just my cock? Come on, baby, cum all over yourself."

And he did. Almost on command, which would have been a tad more embarrassing if he had the energy to think on it. He came all over his stomach, and with Harry bent down so much he got some on his own chest as well.

While he was catching his breath, only mildly difficult with Harry still thrusting as he chased his own orgasm, he finally stilled as he came into the condom. Louis moved his legs off of Harry's shoulders, giving him the room to move forward and lay down on Louis, pressing their chests together (which was very much unnecessarily messy). He moved his face to the side, avoiding a mouthful of hair, and wanted to lay down properly, but unfortunately Harry hadn't bothered to pull out making him unable to do so. He placed his heels on Harry's back, giving him a moment to catch his breath.

"Heya, curly." He tugged on his hair gently to get his attention. Harry mumbled something he didn't catch, despite his face being right next to his own. "Gonna pull out sometime today? I'd like to have my arse back, thank you very much."

Harry pulled back, face red from either exertion or embarrassment, and sat up slowly, pulling out as Louis requested. Louis placed his sore legs down on the bed on either side of Harry, watching him as he tugged off the condom, tied it up, and gently placed it on his side table.

"I'll get a flannel." Harry spoke softly, the room was quiet and the air was thick with the scent of sex - he didn't want to break that. He slipped off the bed, being mindful not to trip in his exhausted state, and disappeared behind a door to the side.

Of course Harry would have an en-suite bathroom.

Louis sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering briefly what he should do.

He'd never had a one-night stand while completely sober. He wasn't always black-out drunk, but he was usually at least a little inhibited. It gave an excuse to turn away and go to sleep, avoid talking or discussing anything. It was the excuse for it being a one-night stand. He didn't think Harry had any intentions of it being anything other than that, and Louis didn't either (despite not being completely averse to a phone number. Maybe), but at least being drunk dispelled the awkwardness.

It wasn't awkward yet, but surely it would seep in as time went on.

Harry came back into the room with a wet washcloth in hand and walked over to the side of the bed. He'd already cleaned himself off, and he used the cloth to clean up Louis. He let him, watching sleepily as he passed it across his chest, hands, and his thighs and bum. The lube really had gotten everywhere.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked as he was cleaning him up.

"Yeah, m'alright. Sleepy." It was something past two in the morning, and though he'd been out at a bar, he hadn't actually intended to sleep late. Or fuck somebody.

Harry tossed the dirty cloth into a laundry basket in the corner, "Alright, bedtime." He nodded at Louis, a resolute pout on his lips.

Louis laughed, watching affectionately as Harry stumbled over to the light switch and pressed it down. He hadn't even noticed earlier, but Harry must have turned on the bedroom lights when they'd first walked into the room. Louis moved around and slipped under the covers, pulling them up to his chin. He was a little wet because of the cloth, but the bed was comfy and the pillow squishy, he was sure he could fall asleep in seconds.

Harry somehow made his way to the bed without tripping and falling, climbing in between the covers and moving closer to Louis. He threw an arm over his waist and cuddled into his side.

He didn't move, just let Harry make a teddy bear out of him. Somehow, it hadn't gotten awkward, despite the both of them being stone-cold sober. Maybe it was the fact they both knew what to expect from the situation that made it easier to be comfortable, or maybe it was something else altogether. Louis didn't really care - it was nice.

"G'night." Harry mumbled against his shoulder.

"Night."

Louis placed his cheek against a head of curls and closed his eyes, sleep consuming him easily.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2! Thank you for the positive feedback on the first chapter, and I hope that I won't disappoint as you get further into this! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

He woke up to an empty bed.

Okay, so he was in Harry's house so he really couldn't have gone very far (if he were smart enough not to leave some random dude in his house), but it still kinda sucked.

Louis wasn't an early riser, but he did have the tendency to wake up a little earlier than usual when he'd had a one-night stand. He liked being able to slip out easily. Now he had no choice but to see Harry on his way out, and although the previous night hadn't been awkward, he couldn't be certain the atmosphere would stay the same the next morning.

He rolled out of the bed, his gaze going straight to the nightstand. His clothes were resting atop it and folded neatly. Glancing around the room he quickly noticed that everything had been tidied up, Harry's clothes placed in the laundry basket and the used condom thrown away.

"Neat freak." He rolled his eyes. It wasn't really surprising, judging by the state the house had been when they'd first walked in. It almost seemed obsessive, but that may be because Louis hadn't seen his own bedroom floor in months and was probably biased.

He put on his clothes and went to the en-suite bathroom to splash water on his face and rinse his mouth.

"Motherfucker." There was no explaining the bruises on his neck as anything other than an enthusiastic 0lover. He rubbed at the hickeys lining his neck and collar bone, knowing it wouldn't make them go away but kind of hoping it would anyways.

Sighing, he turned away from the mirror and left the washroom. They weren't going away, but at least he didn't have to look at them.

He left the bedroom and started walking in a random direction. He hadn't exactly been paying attention to the direction they'd been going in the night before, and his house was huge as fuck - it kind of felt like he was at Ikea again.

Somehow he managed to make his way into what looked like a very restaurant-like kitchen. There was probably more shit in that room that Louis couldn't name than he could. In the middle of the ridiculously large kitchen was a cute island with bar stools around it, on which one of them sat the incredibly handsome homeowner.

Louis blinked sleepily at him, keeping quiet for a moment as he watched him. He was sipping on what was most likely a cup of tea, judging from the little puffs of steam coming out the top, and he was holding his phone in the other hand. His thumb was scrolling down what seemed to be something rather interesting as Harry hadn't even looked up at him as he'd entered the room not really all that quietly. His house was meticulously clean, but Harry obviously didn't seem to care too much about cleaning himself up early in the morning.

His hair was a mess of curls pulled up into a horribly (endearing) messy bun, and he was only in a pair of sweats - or were those yoga pants? Louis wasn't completely sure - and an oversized wool jumper. Thank fuck, because if he'd gotten all prim and proper for a morning cup of tea, Louis would have seriously felt the need to re-evaluate his life choices. And by life choices he meant who he was fucking.

"Morning." Louis forced himself to sound chipper. Normally he wouldn't bother, what with it being arse o'clock in the morning, but he felt like being nice.

Harry's head snapped up, looking at him wide-eyed. Clearly he really hadn't heard him enter the room.

"Good morning." He said after a moment of catching his breath. "Come, sit. I'll get you a cuppa." Harry stood up and started puttering about before Louis could say anything in response.

Louis ran a hand through his hair, sleepy and still a little afraid of things going awkward. He'd planned to just leave, but he really couldn't now. He sat on one of the bar stools, pouting when he had to jump a bit to get his bum on the cushion. (Really, why were they so tall?)

"Here you go." Harry said brightly, placing a dish with milk and sugar in it as well as a kitten mug in front of him.

The handle was the little orange cat's tail, with its face being 3D and poking out of the ceramic, its little ears reaching out of the rim of the cup. Louis stared at it, wondering for a moment if Harry would mind him stealing it. His sister would love it.

"Can I steal this?" He asked before he could think. He did that a lot, or so his mum said.

Harry just laughed, so he figured it wasn't inappropriate. Harry sat back in his stool, taking his phone back in his hand and looking at whatever was immensely interesting.

Louis brought the mug to his lips after fixing it the way he liked, looking at Harry over the rim. He was focused heavily on whatever was on his phone, lips pursed and eyebrows drawn in concentration (or frustration more likely). He was an odd one, genuinely. Louis had heard a lot of things about Harry Styles, but none of it matched up to what he was looking at right now. Maybe that was true about a lot of celebrities.

"I look like I had an orgy with a vampire cult." Louis stated after a sip of his tea.

Harry looked at him, confused. Louis watched as his eyes moved down to his neck, gaze moving over the patches of off-coloured skin. He bit his bottom lip, the edges quirking up in a sheepish grin, "Sorry. Guess I got carried away?"

Louis continued to stare at him, unimpressed with his answer. "I have to be seen in public like this, you know." He could tell by Harry's obvious struggle not to laugh that he wasn't making him feel bad, which was good since he didn't want that, but he could do with a little bit of empathy. All he had was a v-neck shirt that was doing nothing to hide the hickeys.

"M'sorry. Give me a second, alright?" Harry got up and disappeared down a hallway.

Louis shrugged his shoulders and continued to sip at his tea. After hardly a couple minutes Harry returned to the kitchen, Louis able to hear his footsteps coming long before he showed up. He was a bit of a clumsy walker.

He didn't bother to look at him until he felt a soft material being wrapped around his neck. He put down the mug and looked down at himself, spotting a red and black scarf with tiny skulls. He lifted the ends and stared at it with a frown. Not that he knew much about fashion or the fashion world, but he knew a designer name when the initials were clearly printed on the edge of the item.

"There we go, that'll cover it up." Harry slipped back into his seat with a proud smile on his lips. "You can keep it." He added offhandedly.

Louis looked from the scarf to Harry, still frowning, "Pretty sure this thing is worth more than my tuition."

"Don't be silly, it's from the spring line like five years ago. Anyways, you wanted something to cover your neck, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess." Louis muttered, fiddling with the piece of clothing. He hated scarves. "I look awful in scarves, though." He complained, wishing he had something reflective so he could see how bad it looked.

Harry swatted at his hands and fixed the scarf himself, "Stop playing with it. You look gorgeous."

Louis blushed, but kept his gaze steady. That was a bit of a... strong word. Not that he wasn't flattered, but it still felt a bit much. He hadn't even showered yet.

"Uh, thanks." He went back to his tea after Harry pulled back, still smiling with his stupid dimples.

Harry hummed softly and he picked up his phone (again) to continue fiddling with it. It couldn't possibly be that interesting. Suddenly remembering he had one of those too, most likely with messages from the friends he had initially been out with the night before but had forgotten about until that very moment, he pulled it out from his back pocket. He clicked the button on the side only to be met with darkness.

"Fuck."

"Everything alright?" Harry asked, a little off from his earlier chipper tone.

Louis gave him a weird look, "Yeah, fine. Phone's dead though. Should probably get back home. Mum gets a bit antsy if she texts me and I don't answer right away." He put his phone away and made to stand, but Harry placed a firm hand on his wrist.

"Hey, you know, I was thinking that maybe we could get some breakfast, yeah? It's still early after all."

Louis looked at him, seeing the shift in his eyes and the way his lips were moving and how his jaw was tensing. He slid off the bar stool and stepped closer to Harry, his hands passing over his forearms and biceps, reaching up to his shoulders and wrapping them loosely around his neck, placing himself in between his spread legs. Harry gripped his hips, gentle but a little shaky at the same time.

"And why would you want to do that, hm?"

"Just thought it could be nice." Harry mumbled, not meeting Louis' gaze.

"Now, Mr. Styles, I have four younger siblings and I know a liar when I see one, and I'm not too fond of 'em. Since I don't think you mean it to be mean, I'll give you the chance to tell me the truth and I'll listen. If not, I'm just gonna go home and do things I should be doing. Sound good?"

Harry visibly deflated. "Yeah, sorry. I didn't know if... I didn't think you knew who I was, so I didn't know how to explain..." Harry sighed and leaned forward, resting his cheek against Louis' shoulder.

Louis patted his hair affectionately, "It's alright. So what's this breakfast thing about then?"

Harry stayed where he was and reached out for his phone blindly. He got it eventually and punched in his password without looking. "This is pretty much why." Harry showed the screen to Louis, hardly avoiding hitting him in the face since he still hadn't bothered to pull away. Louis took the phone from him and stared at the screen, reading what was in front of him.

"My bum is not that big." Louis commented once he'd finished the article and stared at the pictures for probably longer than he should have.

Harry drew back, giving him a very impressive unimpressed look. "That's what you care about in all that?" Harry took his phone, a grumpy pout on his lips. "And yes, your arse is that big."

Louis gasped in what was half fake offence and tugged on a stray curl, "Oi! Watch what you say about your 'boy-candy of the night'." Louis said, referencing the article.

Harry groaned and hung his head, choosing not to say anything.

"Are there a lot of these? I didn't even notice anyone taking our picture." Said pictures had been from when they were exiting the club and climbing into the awaiting vehicle. Luckily there weren't any from when they were making out inside the club. That may have been a tad more embarrassing.

"Paps are discreet when they want to be. And yeah, there's loads of articles saying pretty much the same things."

"Oh."

The article hadn't exactly been Harry-friendly, if Louis were trying to make it seem as positive as possible. In other words, they were pretty shit. Very shit.

"That's why I wanted to go out to breakfast. Make it look like this isn't some sort of one-night stand type of thing."

"But it is, isn't it?" Louis understood that the people who'd written the articles were dicks, and were obviously trying to make Harry look as bad as possible, but he didn't see why he'd need to lie about what had happened between them. Not that going out to breakfast wasn't an appealing idea in and of itself.

"I... I want to clean up my image so bad. I didn't go there last night for a fuck, I shouldn't have been there at all to be honest, but now they think I'm going to relapse again and that I'm not getting better and that I'm not working on getting settled and it's just really shite. I've been working so hard and I need to fix this before it escalates." Harry's eyes were shining like maybe he was trying not to cry, and his voice was thick and earnest like nothing else in the world mattered but those words.

Louis pulled away and took a seat on the bar stool next to Harry's. He placed his hands in his lap and faced him, feeling like the whole situation was more serious than he'd originally thought.

"Okay, I get that. But what does that have to do with me?"

"The articles want this to look like a one-night stand, like just a random fuck to make me look like I'm back to my 'playboy ways' or whatever, which I never really was in the first place, but anyways - I was thinking that if we went out to breakfast it would make this seem normal. Like we're dating and stuff and that we know each other and not like it was random. Get it?"

Harry looked so hopeful, but Louis had to shake his head because he really wasn't following.

"Sorry, Harry, but I don't get it."

"If we go out to breakfast there'll definitely be people to take pictures because there always is, and people will see that we're still hanging out the next day and think we're together. So it won't look like a one-night stand, it'll look like we're actually dating. We can say we knew each other before yesterday or something. I've spent two years trying really, really hard to clean up my image, but this can fuck it all up in hours and I don't think I'm going to get another chance to fix this and still possibly make music. I need this, Louis, please. I know you have a life, and God knows you probably don't need this kind of shit on you, but it won't be for very long and I - I can pay you! Yeah, I-"

Louis smacked a hand over Harry's mouth, cutting him off. As soon as Harry mentioned paying him he realized he needed to know exactly what was going on. "Why don't you just give it to me straight, alright? What are you asking me to do here?" Louis removed his hand and let Harry speak again.

"Be my fake boyfriend." He sputtered out quickly, cheeks a little red, but eyes still somehow wide with hope.

"Uh..." Louis replied very smartly.

He couldn't keep his jaw closed, for probably the first time in his life completely flabbergasted. Harry seemed to shrink under his stare, looking off to the side with pink tinged cheeks. Louis wasn't exactly sure what to say in this sort of situation - wasn't quite sure what to think.

There was silence until Harry couldn't take it anymore.

"I know it sounds weird, but I - I think it'll work. If they think we're in a relationship, then it'll make me look settled, right? And it won't have to last long. Just a few dates here and there, let people take pictures of us, and it'll be really good for my image. And I know that sounds awful, but it'll make a huge difference. I need to start making music again, and I can't do that with this sort of stuff coming out." Harry pointed to his phone, looking at Louis almost as if he held all the answers.

Maybe he did, in a way. He understood what Harry was going on about, there was only so much rock bottom a celebrity could hit before people stopped caring and they ruined themselves forever. Louis loved music, loved writing it for himself and for fun, and he could understand how it could be so important to Harry - famous for his music and his performances - to get back to that. He was still a little unsure why Harry felt the need for a fake boyfriend though, and he expressed that thought.

"I get you wanting to make yourself look good and cleaning up your image and stuff, but I don't know if this is the way to go about it. Lying about a relationship is kind of a big deal."

"All celebrities lie about relationships. It's not as... wrong as it sounds. I swear. If you don't want to do this I completely understand. People will be taking your picture and invading your privacy and most likely saying rude things about you, it's all pretty shit. I just figured I'd ask because I didn't really have anything to lose."

Louis wasn't quite sure about the idea, but he figured Harry would be better suited to say anything on the matter of right or wrong in this particular area.

"If I were to agree to this, and that's an 'if', what would it entail, exactly?"

"Well, first we'd go out to breakfast, have a nice time and let people take pictures of us when they think we're not looking. Then we'd do that a few more times until maybe I start figuring things out? I don't really know. I'm looking into maybe signing with another label soon or something like that, and if we can keep up appearances until then that'd be great. But if you got annoyed or bothered or something then we'd call it quits right away. This isn't some contract or anything, it's just an agreement. And we'd have to do boyfriend-y things too, like kiss and hold hands, but I figure after yesterday that's not a big deal."

Louis kicked him in the shin, but unfortunately it didn't affect the grin on Harry's lips, "I'm probably going to regret this, but... Okay. I can go along with this for a bit, I guess."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. After all, what's the point of life if you can't be some popstar's fake boyfriend, right?" Louis teased, amused by Harry's obvious struggle on whether he wanted to be happy or offended.

Harry reached out and placed his hands on Louis' cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. Louis gripped Harry's thighs to avoid falling into him, as his bum was barely perched on the edge of the stool anymore. Harry kissed him repeatedly, leaving little butterfly kisses on his lips and his cheeks, and he had to pull away to let out a proper laugh at Harry's absurdity.

"Stop that you dork!" Louis exclaimed, pushing Harry back with one hand on his mouth. He was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe.

Harry grabbed his wrist and moved his hand away from his mouth to speak, "I'm not a popstar, by the way. I'm a total rockstar." Harry stated, lips pulled into a slight pout.

Louis moved to seat himself properly again, separating their bodies completely, and he still hadn't quite stopped laughing, "Oh watch out! Bad boy Styles is comin' out!" He teasingly mocked, hands gesturing wildly to hype up his dramatic flair.

"Oi!" Harry exclaimed, leaning forward to dig his fingers in Louis' sides to make him laugh and twist away. "You are the worst!"

Louis, in his attempt to get away from Harry's tickling fingertips, almost knocked his chair backwards, but luckily Harry was quick enough to grip Louis' hips and hold him steady. They stared at each other, breath heavy, lips quirked, and little puffs of laughter still escaping their chests.

"You should be nicer to your faux-boyfriend." Louis said after catching his breath.

"... 'Faux-boyfriend'?"

"It's better than 'fake-boyfriend', don't you think?" Louis took his teacup into his hands again, taking a big sip of the now mostly lukewarm liquid.

"Um... Sure, I guess." Harry picked up his phone and clicked it on briefly to check the time, "It's almost ten, we should get going." Harry made to stand up, but Louis placed a foot on his knee to keep him sitting.

"Woah, woah, woah - hold your horses there cowboy, I've still got some stuff to say."

"Oh, of course! This is about compensation, right? I mentioned earlier, I can pay you that's no problem. Just name your price."

"That's not-" Okay, so money was tremendously tempting, what with being a super poor uni student, but his mother had taught him a little better than that. It didn't feel like he was actually going to do anything - he didn't consider dating (real or not) to be a chore. If anything, it kind of felt as if he were doing a mate a favour, and that wasn't worthy of compensation. He'd never ask a real friend for payment for asking something like this, it'd be weird treating Harry differently. Even though they weren't really friends since they had met less than twenty-four hours ago.

Simply put, he wouldn't feel right about it.

"I don't want money. I do have a few rules though, before we start this... thing."

"Okay, what are they? Should I be writing this down? I'll save it on my phone." Harry went to grab his phone, but Louis poked him in the stomach with his foot (since he still hadn't bothered to take his hands off his teacup).

"No, no, nothing like that. Just some ground rules I usually have with my regular boyfriends, that kind of extend to you even though were not real boyfriends. The first rule is - though we're not actually dating it still stands since others will think we are - I don't tolerate cheating. It means you're a prick, and I don't help pricks. Secondly-" Harry lifted his hand to say something, as if he were in a classroom, but Louis somehow understood that he was trying to be nice and not interrupt him. "Yeah?"

"Can I just say about that, that if you hear anything please talk to me first? I'll be totally honest with you if I do anything, but magazines and people always say I'm hooking up with people even when I'm not, and they'll probably do it even more often if they think I'm dating someone 'cause they're assholes and like to mess with people."

"Yeah, okay, that makes sense. So if I hear anything I'll talk to you and you say 'yay' or 'nay'. You'd still be a prick, but at least you'd be an honest prick."

"Absolutely." Harry agreed, nodding to his words.

"So, next is... Well, we kind of mentioned it already. I need you to be honest with me. Always. Like I said earlier, I can't stand liars. Just the way I grew up, I guess. Especially with what you've been saying, some people are going to say shit about us, making up lies just to fuck with us, and I need to know that when you're talking to me you're telling me the truth. I know this sounds like a lot, and it's probably more than what you bargained for when you asked me to be your faux-boyfriend, but it's just-"

"Okay. To be honest, I could really do with some straight-up honesty in my life." Harry said with a laugh, "As long as you'll be honest with me, too."

"Of course," Louis agreed easily, glad that Harry hadn't pushed back on that. He'd had a good feeling about Harry when this all began, but it was only getting stronger and stronger as the minutes drew on, "And there's just one last thing that I can think of right now. So, like... I'm doing this because I like your music, and I like you, and I know I can't base it off much since I've only met you and all, but I think if this is what'll help then I don't mind helping. But... There's one other thing I'm not gonna stick around for, because I... well, because I won't."

"What's that?" Harry asked gently, but curiously.

Louis sighed softly, putting down his tea, and sat up straighter on the stool, "I get that you're a grown up and you get to make your own life choices, blah, blah, blah, but if... If you relapse I'm out. I'm sorry, Harry, I know that sounds harsh, but I... I can't. I know you said you're trying really hard to get better and I'm totally here to support that, but I still have to bring this up, just in case. Do you... Do you understand that, Harry?" Louis bit his bottom lip, worried. He'd been hesitant to bring it up at all, not sure how Harry would take to mentioning the matter, but he couldn't leave it unsaid. He wasn't that kind of person who could ignore a touchy subject that needed to be addressed just to make someone else feel better.

Harry stared at him for a while, silent and face open but somehow expressionless.

"Do you think I will?" He asked eventually.

"Will what?" Louis said softly, even more worried by Harry's eerie calmness.

"Relapse. Do you think I'm going to relapse? Do I look like I will, or are you assuming that I will?"

"Neither, Harry. I don't think you're going to relapse at all."

"You don't? Then why..." Harry's voice had gone small. Louis had expected anger, but Harry was probably beyond the point of getting angry about the topic by now.

"My first boyfriend cheated on me because I never said not to. I've learnt to cover my bases, even if I don't have to. That's all, I promise. I wouldn't be doing this at all if I thought you would. I have faith in you Harry, and I have faith in what you're trying to do here, that's why I agreed. Okay?"

"Okay." Harry nodded, seeming to understand, "Thanks, um, for saying that. It's... nice to hear. So are those your only rules? Or is there anything else we need to cover?"

"Hm... There is actually one last thing before we head off. I imagine I'll be coming here more often because of this, so I demand that there be a constant supply of Yorkshire tea and cocoa puffs." Louis said with a grin.

"My tea is just fine, thank you!" Harry said indignantly, the air immediately clearing from the tension it was holding.

"Your tea is atrocious."

"It's exotic."

"Exotic my ass."

"Well, your ass is quite out of this world, darling." Harry grinned proudly at the line, causing Louis to roll his eyes.

"That was almost as awful as your tea."

"Fine, fine, you'll get your tea." Harry got up and brought their empty cups to the sink, rinsing them off and placing them in the dishwasher. There was really no point in having a dishwasher in a house with one occupant, but Louis was assuming that it was a perk of being rich.

"And my cocoa puffs!"

"And your cocoa puffs." Harry agreed. He made his way towards him, gently grabbing his arm and pulling him off the chair, "Come on, we should get going."

"Um... No." Louis drawled, almost sadistically pleased with the look of annoyance mixed with slowly losing patience on Harry's face.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I am not getting seen in public like this. Especially not a public that's going to be taking pictures. I need a shower and a change of clothes. We can stop at my place first, it won't take me more than ten minutes. And anyways, wearing yesterday's clothes and reeking of sex isn't exactly a picture of 'dating', now is it?"

Harry sighed, a little frustrated because he was right. "Okay, but can't you just shower here? I'll lend you something to wear. And hey, that's like extra boyfriend-y."

Louis stepped from one foot to the other as he thought about it, shrugging his shoulders in the end, "Alright. But just get me a shirt, yeah? I'm not gonna fit in any of your trousers and I'd rather not trip all over myself looking like I'm dressing in my dad's clothes. And can you get me something... Normal?"

"... Normal?"

"Something not worth more than my kidney would be on the black market." He elaborated.

"Fine, I'll get you something normal. Come, I'll show you the washroom."

"After you, pumpkin."

Harry gave him a look, but led the way. Louis had a feeling he would enjoy this - at least until it got weird. Because surely it would eventually. That's how these things always turned out. He'd seen enough movies to know that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to leave a comment and/or a kudos, it makes me all warm and fuzzy. And thanks a bunch to those who already have! You're lovely :)
> 
> See you next week!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I wanted to add as a side-note that my biggest turn on is communication, in other words a healthy relationship. So expect lots of that in my story. Nothing more sexy than actually talking to your significant other. Yummy.

Louis felt almost presentable. After the shower he slipped back into his black skinnies, luckily easy enough to get away with wearing two days in a row, and some band t-shirt that Louis didn't know with a flannel button-down that he rolled up to his elbows. He wasn't going to put the scarf back on, but one look in the mirror and he didn't say a word of complaint as he had Harry tie it up around his neck again.

 

They took Harry's car to some breakfast joint that Harry insisted had pancakes. It wasn't a large restaurant, but not too small that there wasn't anybody there to notice them. Louis figured Harry knew what he was doing, much more knowledgeable on the matter of paparazzi and media and exposure and other stuff he briefly mentioned but Louis wasn't really paying attention to.

 

"Thanks."

 

They thanked the waitress as she seated them in a booth to the side, visible to everyone but not so much that it looked like it was on purpose.

 

"May I have some coffee please?" Harry asked her before she could walk off, and she smiled and nodded.

 

"Anything for you?" She asked Louis, and with a request of a glass of chocolate milk she left their table.

 

"Chocolate milk?" Harry smile was a mix of amusement and disbelief. "Are you sure you're an adult?"

 

"Oi, piss off." Louis snapped half-heartedly.

 

Harry simply shook his head, opening the menu but ignoring it to pull out his phone instead. He ran a hand through his hair, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he scrolled through whatever he was looking at.

 

"What are you looking at?" Louis asked, impatient and annoyed that he was being ignored already. They'd literally just sat down and his 'date' was playing with his phone. It wouldn't fly on a normal date, but he was going to see what Harry had to say first.

 

"Sorry, I just wanted to see if there was anything up yet..." Harry placed the phone down, his expression twisted into something stressed and anxious.

 

"Harry, we've been sat for thirty seconds, relax." He reached forward with one hand, placing it under his chin and moved his fingertips to his cheeks, pushing them until his lips puckered out and then pushed them into a smile, "If you want to be convincing, try to look like you aren't about to barf."

 

He pulled his hand back once Harry started laughing, his shoulders loosening up and his hands going pliant as he relaxed. "Okay, okay, I get it. I gotta relax."

 

"Anyways, there's really no reason they shouldn't see this the way we want them to. Unless you have a habit of taking your one-night stands out to breakfast, then I don't know what to tell you."

 

"No, no I don't. And I'll have you know that I don't actually do this a lot. They always thought I was this huge manwhore that slept with hundreds of people, but I didn't. I actually stopped myself from sleeping with people _because_ they thought I was fucking everybody. I didn't want to like, make it true."

 

"You don't have to defend yourself to me, Harry." Louis said softly, cutting him short. "I know who you are because of your music, that's all. I was too young to care for anything else, and I did hear bits and pieces from people, but I don't really know all that much about what happened with your situation and I don't really... care, I guess? Just don't worry about what I think about you, okay? I'm on your side here."

 

The waitress brought over their drinks, pausing their conversation for a moment. She asked if they were ready to order, but they both shook their heads, neither of them having even glanced at the menu yet. She simply smiled, let them know she'd give them several more minutes, and retreated.

 

Louis brought his glass of chocolate milk closer to himself, placing the straw between his lips and blowing air into it, staring at the bubbles but listening to Harry.

 

"Why? I haven't exactly given anyone a reason to be on my side." Harry watched Louis play with his drink, a smile stretched across his lips.

 

"Figure if I'm nice to you I'll get to see you naked again." Louis said with a wink and an impish grin, pulling away from his drink and soaking in the loud laugh Harry let out.

 

"Well, I'll take whatever I can get."

 

Louis flipped open the menu, "Now, Mr. Styles, I was promised pancakes, I certainly hope I haven't been deceived."

 

"Right there." Harry pointed to a large picture on the menu of the aforementioned food item, smiling proudly.

 

"Thanks genius, would never have found it myself." Louis said sarcastically, glad that Harry continued to smile rather than get offended. "What're you getting?"

 

"Some good ol' eggs and bacon, I think."

 

They placed their menus to the side, chatting for a couple minutes until the waitress returned to take their orders. Louis ordered his chocolate chip pancakes and Harry got himself some eggs and bacon. She took their menus and left them again.

 

Harry leaned forward, dropping his voice to a whisper, "Don't look, but I'm pretty sure those two girls over there took our picture, so there's one at least. There's hopefully been others, but I haven't really been paying attention." Harry admitted. His hand moved towards his phone, hesitant whether or not to start looking again for any new articles.

 

Louis grabbed his hand in his, feeling his palm warm and a little bit sweaty, "You're stressing yourself out for nothing. When we're done here you can look, but until then you shouldn't you’ll make yourself look desperate, and like a shitty date." Louis told him off gently, understanding why, but still a little disapproving.

 

"Yeah, sorry... again."

 

Louis' fingertips were pressed to Harry's wrist, and he could feel his pulse a little too fast for normal. He brought his hand back enough to lace their fingers together, squeezing them softly. "It's alright. Try thinking about other things."

 

Harry let out a breath and nodded, "Okay, um... So, you're a student, right? What do you study?"

 

"I'm hoping to be a child psychologist. I was always really shit at school, so it's tough, but I'm trying my best and I'm getting through it. I'm in my third year now." If that's the topic Harry wanted to change to, he may as well go with it. Whatever would get him to stop thinking about what articles may or may not pop up.

 

"Really?" Harry's eyes shone with excitement, "That's so cool! Yeah, I can imagine it's tough. I guess that means you like kids?"

 

"Yeah, I love kids. I have four little sisters so I have experience with them, and I feel like it'd be a really rewarding career. As in I could really help these kids. At least, I hope I'll be able to."

 

"I can definitely see you being a child psychologist. What with you pretty much being an overgrown child and all."

 

"Shut up." Louis kicked him in the shin, but linked their feet together under the table for no real reason. It wasn't like anyone was going to be taking pictures of their feet, but he wanted to so he did. "I'm youthful and I appreciate my inner child."

 

"If that's what helps you sleep at night, darling."

 

They continued to chat, discussing school and briefly talking about family. Harry was quick to change the topic on that one, apparently still quite the sore subject. They mostly talked about Louis, and not that he minded talking about himself, but he was a little concerned about how little Harry wanted to share with him. He understood that they were in public and they'd really only just met, and he could see that maybe Harry was simply tired of talking about himself, but none of that made him feel better about it.

 

He couldn't quite decide whether to think that maybe the stories were so bad he didn't want to tell them, or that he was simply unwilling to open up.

 

Luckily he could think over the matter with a full plate of chocolate chip pancakes.

 

There was little conversation as they ate their meals, only little quips here and there, agreement that the food was good, and other short comments. After a while they were done with their plates and the waitress came to carry them away, Harry advising her he'd take the bill while ignoring the look Louis was giving him.

 

Once she stepped away, Louis turned to Harry with a frown, "Look, I know we're doing the boyfriend thing, but you don't need to pay for my food. I can take care of it." Kind of, but Harry didn't need to know that.

 

"Don't worry about it, Louis, seriously. All you've asked of me is some tea and cereal, the least I can do is pay for our dates."

 

Harry was completely sincere on the matter, and so Louis acquiesced, "Okay, if you're sure..."

 

"Good. So, did you drive to the club last night or did you take a cab? I can drop you off there if you need to get your car."

 

"Oh, um, no my friend drove. I'd thought I might have a couple beers." He hadn't planned on a big night either, but a couple beers was still more than enough for him to feel uneasy at the idea of driving.

 

"You went with your friend? Did he know you were leaving?" Harry asked, concerned.

 

"Yeah, we were a couple lads, but they probably saw us together at some point and figured we'd leave together. Not that I do that a lot either, and I wasn't exactly looking to pull last night, but ya' know, things happen." He said with a shrug.

 

"I get it."

 

The waitress returned to the table with their check, placing it in front of Harry and asking if they needed the debit machine. Harry shook his head and let her know it would be cash, and she nodded and went ahead and left their table while they prepared to clear out.

 

"I'll drive you home then." Harry told him once the waitress was gone, "Did you need to make any stops?"

 

"Um... No, I'm good." Well, he hadn't been wrong about Harry being a gentleman, "Do we need to do anything else, or are we good to go? I have a bit of homework to do, and I work at three so it's probably best if I get home soon." The last thing he wanted to do was rush their date, it was quite fun if he was honest, but after three years in University he knew when he needed to get his shit together.

 

"Yeah, we're good to go." Harry placed a few bills on the table, leaving a generous tip to their kind waitress, and stepped out of the booth, Louis following suit. They checked their pockets, making sure all was where it should be, and they made their way out of the restaurant.

 

The second the two were sitting in the car Harry pulled out his phone, glancing at Louis before clicking it on, "Is it okay if I...?" He held the phone up.

 

"It's okay." Louis said, a little amused. It was cute that Harry was trying to be nice, and he briefly considered telling him to wait simply to tease, but he thought he might explode if he had to wait any longer so he resisted the temptation to do so.

 

Harry immediately turned on his phone and started searching for himself. Louis leaned back in the seat, looking around the car's interior while Harry busied himself with that. The car was as clean as his house, which Louis was starting to get accustomed to. There was quite literally no trash at all. There was nothing in the backseat, and the front was spotless, even the mats on the ground looked to be freshly washed. He found a cord plugged into the auxiliary, and he looked at the end of it and with a sudden idea pulled out his own phone. He grabbed the chord and attempted to plug it into his phone, and maybe it was his lucky day since it slipped right in.

 

The less fortunate part was that since the car wasn't turned on the phone wouldn't charge.

 

"Ha-rry." He called, stretching out his name simply for the fun of it. Once Harry turned his focus from his phone and onto Louis, he continued, "Can you turn on the car please? It'll charge my phone." He brought up the phone and indicated the charging cable.

 

Harry nodded and slipped his keys in the ignition, turning them until the motor started. As soon as he did so he returned to his phone. Louis shook his head, but turned to his own phone without a word.

 

Louis pressed the power button until he saw it turn on. Luckily it wasn't so dead that it would need a few minutes before turning on. After a minute or so the loading screen turned into his wallpaper, signaling that the phone was ready to use. It took only seconds before the phone started vibrating with newly received messages. He sighed, clicking on his inbox and seeing that there were messages from his friends and mother.

 

He clicked on 'Mum' first, knowing she would be the most paranoid of the lot, and read her messages. They mostly consisted of something along the lines of 'call me'. He sent her a quick text to let her know he'd be home in ten minutes or so and would call her then. There was a text from her within about five seconds with a simple 'ok'. Next he checked his friends' messages, the first few pretty much wishing him a good night, and he knew exactly what they'd meant, and the last few were asking him if he'd really fucked _the_ Harry Styles.

 

He hadn't really thought about his friends and family seeing those articles too, but now that he was it made sense why his mother was so desperate to speak to him.

 

"Anything?" He asked Harry as he put away his phone after he'd texted his friends back.

 

"There's some pictures on Twitter and people asking if we're dating. I'm not going to make any comments yet, I'll let them wonder about it for a bit. Any actual articles will take a few hours, but at least there are pictures going around, which is what I really wanted." Harry replied, also putting away his own phone, "I'll look into it more later. Ready to go?"

 

"Yeah."

 

They put on their seatbelts and drove away from the restaurant and towards Louis' flat while he gave directions along the way. In a little less than ten minutes they pulled up at an apartment complex and parked in front of the building.

 

"This is it. Guess I'll be seeing you soon? With school and work I'm a bit busy, but I'm pretty good at making time when I need to."

 

"Okay, sounds good. I'll text you and we'll make plans. Hey, um, should I like, walk you to the door, or...?" Harry asked hesitantly.

 

Louis already had his hand on the handle ready to get out of the car, but he drew his hand back and turned fully to Harry, "Haven't you dated people before?"

 

"Well, yeah, but it's been a little while and I just don't want to fuck up." Harry admitted, not quite meeting Louis' gaze.

 

"You're doing fine, Harry." Louis placed his hands on the middle console and leaned across it, pressing his lips softly to Harry's. He'd meant it to be a short goodbye kiss, but as he made to pull back Harry placed his hand behind his neck and pulled him back in.

 

He parted his lips and let him in, feeling the familiar tingle in his toes and warmth flooding his cheeks. They made out in the car like teenagers for longer than Louis had intended, not that he really minded. Eventually he drew back, this time Harry letting him, and he quickly turned forward in his seat and pretended to fix his fringe.

 

It wasn't that he was embarrassed, if anything kissing Harry was almost natural, but he did feel... weird? But not quite? He really had to get some homework done.

 

"No, you don't need to walk me to the door." He responded to his earlier question, voice a little strained, "Once you're properly together and stuff you either drive off or come inside, don't really do the 'walking to the door' thing anymore. Kinda pointless."

 

"Okay, that makes sense." Harry agreed, "I'll see you soon then."

 

"Yeah, see ya'." He actually managed to pull the handle this time before Harry was calling him back.

 

"Wait!"

 

Louis turned back around, leaning instantly on the center armrest and giving Harry what he hoped was a good look of impatience, "Yes, darling?"

 

Harry held out his phone, a sheepish grin on his lips and cheeks pink with embarrassment, "I, uh, didn't get your number."

 

Louis stared at him a moment and suddenly burst out laughing. He moved back, resting his back against the seat and brought a hand up to his mouth until his laughter subsided.

 

"Yeah, I guess that's kind of important." He reached out and took the phone, the password already inputted, and started entering his phone number.

 

"A little bit."

 

Louis handed him back his phone, "There we go. Are we good then?"

 

"Yup."

 

"Yeah, you sure?"

 

"Yes, I'm sure."

 

"Really, really sure now? Absolutely, positively-"

 

Harry rolled his eyes and moved forward and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss. It wasn't a good kiss, what with Louis having been in the middle of talking, but it shut him up at least.

 

"Yes, I'm sure. Now get." Harry waved him off, hardly holding back his smile.

 

Louis cackled as he stepped out of the car, shouting a simple, "Later, pumpkin!" over his shoulder.

 

Harry shook his head and drove off, wondering what on Earth he'd gotten himself into.

 

**OoOoO**

 

_Ring...ring...ring...._

"Hello?"

 

"Hi, mum!"

 

"Lou! Sweetheart, how are you? Are you alright? It took you a long time to answer my texts."

 

"Yeah, mum, I'm alright. Went out with some friends last night and my phone died. Just got around to charging it. Sorry for worrying you."

 

"It's okay, but remember to keep your phone charged, okay? It worries me. Especially today. I saw the articles, well I didn't actually. Maria told me about them this morning, and she told me her daughter saw them and she recognized you and told her mum and so Maria talked to me and told me you were seen yesterday with that singer? Um... Harry Styles, was it? Is that true? I didn't look up the pictures or anything myself, I decided I'd rather talk to you first."

 

"Oh, yeah, um, straight to the point then. Uh, yeah, so we were together last night. I went to the club with the lads and he was there and we talked and you know, stuff happened."

 

"Oh... And was that all that happened?"

 

"Yeah, mum. We went to his and we had sex, all safe of course, and because I know you want to ask, no there weren't any drugs involved. It was all sober and safe. Promise."

 

"Okay, good. You know I trust you completely, it's this guy I don't know about. With all the stories... I know some of it was trash and nonsense, but a lot of it would have been true, too, and I need to know my baby is safe."

 

"I know, mum, but he's really quite nice, actually. I honestly think most of what people were saying was trash. He's great, I mean so far anyways, and he wants to do better and I believe him."

 

"Does that mean you'll be seeing him again? I don't know if that's a good idea, Louis. He might seem nice, but some of the things I've heard-"

 

"Aren't you always saying 'don't judge a book by its cover'? People take one look at me and judge me right away, and I hate it. I'd be the worse hypocrite if I did that to Harry. I'm giving him a chance to work things out. So yes, I'll be seeing him again. He didn't say not to say anything, and you're my mum so I'm not gonna lie to you about this, but you can't say anything, alright?"

 

"Alright, honey."

 

"Because of what the articles were saying, and I'm sure Maria filled you in on their shit - sorry - and it really crushed Harry. So he asked me to pretend to be his boyfriend for a bit-"

 

" _What?_ "

 

"-And I agreed."

 

"Please tell me why you would do that."

 

"I don't know, mum. He's nice, and he's sweet, and he was so desperate and scared, I couldn't say no. He gave me the choice to back out, but... I understand, you know? From what I can gather he doesn't really have anyone to support him right now, and he's trying so hard to make himself a better person, but with those articles and pictures... If he didn't clear that up right away, it would mess up all his hard work. And it's not an inconvenience to me or anything, we're just going to go out on a few dates together, pretend to be boyfriends, and we'll break it off when he figures out what he wants to do."

 

"But school comes first, right?"

 

"Of course."

 

"And you tell him not to pressure you into doing anything, alright?"

 

"We've already talked about that. It was one of the first things I told him. If he starts doing drugs again I'm gone, and he knows it."

 

"Good, okay. But are you sure about this, sweetheart? You know that people are going to be taking pictures of you and they'll write things... I don't know if you should put yourself in that sort of situation. I know he's a rockstar and that's exciting, and I'm sure he really is lovely, but you need to think about yourself first here. If he's half decent he'll agree."

 

"We haven't signed a contract or anything, it's just a favour. If it gets too hard then I'll call it quits. Don't worry, mum, I know my limits. I'm not going to put my schooling and my work in danger just for some boy. Been there, done that, learnt my lesson. Promise."

 

"Alright, I believe you. Just... Be careful?"

 

"I will."

 

"And like I said, don't let him push you into doing anything you don't want."

 

"I know, mum."

 

"I'd feel better if I met him myself. Do you think you can bring him down sometime? Or maybe I can make my way up to London, I'll have to think about that."

 

"We're not actually together, so I don't see any reason to bring him home, but if it comes up I guess I'll suggest it. But don't count on it. I'll keep you updated though, so you'll know everything that's going on."

 

"Okay, I guess that'll do. I'm sorry to pester you, but you know I worry about you all the time."

 

"I know, it's alright. We're just going to do this one step at a time and we'll see how it goes."

 

"You're going to keep being safe, though, right? Do you need more condoms? I can send you more if you need some."

 

"Mum! No, jeez, last time you sent me like two hundred. How often do you think I - nevermind. No, it's fine, I've got plenty."

 

"If you're sure."

 

"Yeah, I'm sure. I gotta go, mum, I have homework to do. I'll call you later, yeah? And can you let the girls know I called and tell them I'll call back tonight?"

 

"Of course, they'll be happy to hear from you."

 

"I've missed them loads, I'm really due to come down to Donny soon. Okay, well I'm off. Bye mum, talk to you soon!"

 

"Bye sweetheart, love you."

 

"Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. A huge thank you to those who've left comments and kudos, it means the world to me :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teeny note, for the texting parts it'll always be 'from: name', and the name is the way it's registered in the other person's phone. Hope that makes sense!

(From: Unknown 5:44 p.m)

....Louis?

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 6:13 p.m)

The one and only.

 

(From: Unknown 6:13 p.m)

I figured I hadn't put anyone into my contacts as 'That Sexy Fucker', but wanted to be sure.

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 6:14 p.m)

Woops forgot I put that... glad to know you think I'm sexy!

 

(From: Harry Styles 6:15 p.m)

Ravishing. Is there a particular day that's best for you to meet up for dinner?

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 6:16 p.m)

Wednesday is good. I have a morning class and a night class at eight. If we eat at six I'll make it on time.

 

(From: Harry Styles 6:17 p.m)

Okay, sounds good. I'll pick you up at yours at 5:45ish?

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 6:18 p.m)

Nah, probably best if I take my car there. In case we're late I can drive straight to class. Know where we're going?

 

(From Harry Styles 6:19 p.m)

Yup, I'll text you the address later.

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 6:21 p.m)

Kk. Found anything yet btw? About us?

 

(From: Harry Styles 6:24 p.m)

Pretty much exactly what I wanted. They think we're dating but they want some sort of comment. If you get any e-mails or phone calls from anyone saying they're news people, ignore them. It's probably true, but they're just gonna try to fuck with you and it's not worth it. I'll hold off on saying anything for a little bit longer.

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 6:25 p.m)

Sure. I gotta go, my break is over. I'll see you Wednesday. Don't forget to send me the address!

 

(From: Harry Styles 6:26 p.m)

Will do. Have fun at work. Later.

 

**OoOoO**

 

One Google search later Louis found out that the restaurant they were going to was actually rather fancy. It wasn't something five star, but it was still on the verge of black tie. He wasn't one to doubt himself in most cases, but he was definitely considering leaving the restaurant and never showing his face in public again.

 

It wasn't even that he was underdressed, he was wearing black slacks, a nice white button-down, and he'd even found a pair of black dress shoes in the back of his closet, but he still felt like he wasn't quite up to par. Certainly not up to Harry's standards, at the very least.

 

"I'm here for, uh, table for Styles?" Harry had texted him the day before with the address and had advised him that the reservation would be under his name.

 

"Please follow me." The waiter eyed him for a second, then started walking further into the restaurant with Louis close behind. He wisely chose to ignore the look. "Here we go. Is there anything I can get you, sir?"

 

"Um, water, thanks." Louis slipped into the seat opposite Harry, immensely relieved to see that he wasn't dressed any differently than usual. He still didn't quite feel relaxed, but it at least put him mildly more at ease. "Hey."

 

"Hey, Lou. Are you alright? You seem a bit... quiet."

 

Louis let out a short laugh, "How loud am I usually if I've been here two seconds and you already think I'm being quiet?"

 

"Sorry, I didn't mean that badly or anything, I just meant, um, I don't know. Nevermind."

 

"It's okay, Harry. This sort of place isn't really my element, that's all. A little fancier than I'm used to." He explained, hands playing with the utensils and wondering if he needed to place the napkin on his lap. It was a fancy cloth one, so he was pretty sure typically he should, but he saw that Harry had placed his to the side. Maybe not then, and he simply left it alone.

 

"Oh. Did you want to go elsewhere? It's really no big deal."

 

"Don't worry about it, I'm alright. But um, do I look okay, though? You'd tell me if I looked like a twat, right?" He couldn't quite help still being a little insecure on the matter.

 

"I would. And you look proper handsome." Harry reassured him, "I wanted to come here because their steaks are amazing. Do you like steak? The rest is good too, if you don't."

 

"Yeah, I love steak. Haven't had any in forever, though." Louis flipped open the menu and started looking at the choices, mainly focusing on the pictures, "How've you been?"

 

"Good, and you? How was class this morning?"

 

"It was school, so you know. It was alright. My friends have been taking the piss out of me though. Right annoying the lot of them. To be honest I'd completely forgotten that the people I know would also see the articles and stuff. Was weird." His friends had been horrendous about the situation, teasing and prodding, but he couldn't say he wouldn't do the same if the situation was reversed.

 

"Have your friends said anything, like, bad to you about this?"

 

"No, nothing like that. They really just want to know if you're a good kisser or not." Louis said with a smirk. Sure they were annoying, but they were still his friends and weren't judging him or whatever Harry was thinking.

 

"Oh? And what did you say?"

 

"The truth, of course. That you're terrible. Like kissing a dog." Louis managed to keep his face straight for a total of two seconds before he burst out laughing at the look on Harry's face. Obviously they hadn't spent a lot of time together meaning Harry hadn't had the time to get used to Louis' humour yet, so he decided to go easy on him, "Just messing with you, mate, but honestly I think they're just curious."

 

"You're such a jerk," Harry said with no actual malice, "And what about your family? You said you were close to them, right?"

 

"Yeah, we're very close. I haven't told my friends anything we, uh, discussed, but I'll tell you straight up I don't lie to my mum. I told her the truth, but she won't tell a soul. Promise." Louis admitted, keeping his attention on the straw in his water the waiter had just brought them rather than look at Harry.

 

"I get that, but, um, you're sure? That she won't say anything?"

 

"I'm sure. And it's only my mum, I didn't say anything to my sisters. They're a little too young for that."

 

"That's okay then. I wouldn't really want you lying to your mum either, to be fair."

 

Louis smiled, pleased with Harry's easy going attitude on the matter, "So, Harry, what have you been up to other than stalking yourself?"

 

Harry shrugged, "Not much. Yoga, cooking, watching TV. The boring stuff."

 

"Is that all you do with your time? Don't you have a hobby or something?"

 

"Not any that are healthy." Harry said shortly, frowning and lips pursed.

 

"...I'm sorry, I-"

 

"No, I'm sorry. What happened is that after a little over a year in, um... rehab, I travelled for a year. I've actually only been back in London for about a month now. I haven't exactly had time to find myself any new hobbies or anything like that yet."

 

"Oh, I see." Louis spoke softly, a little afraid to say something that would upset him again.

 

"But I mean, I do really like yoga, and cooking too. Although I do have a bad habit of cooking too much at once. I also write music a lot, but I prefer doing it with other people. Makes it easier to bounce around ideas, you know?"

 

"Yeah, makes sense."

 

Harry reached across the table and took Louis' hand in his, bringing it up to his lips and kissing his knuckles as Louis watched, confused, "I've upset you, haven't I? With what I said earlier?"

 

"It's not that I'm upset, it's that sometimes I say stupid shit and I don't want to be insensitive or something."

 

"Ah." Harry brought their hands down to the table, smiling gently, "Don't worry about that Louis, honestly. I hate treating my past like it's the elephant in the room. I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic, and there's no recovering from that. I've learnt to manage it and survive through it, but it'll always be a part of me even if I - hopefully - never touch any of that ever again. There's no point pretending otherwise."

 

"Okay." Louis smiled brightly, giving Harry's hand a squeeze, "Have you-" Louis cut himself off as the waiter came to their table with their food, both of them having ordered some supposedly really yummy steaks. Louis let go of Harry's hand to give the waiter room to put down their plates.

 

"Is there anything else I can get you gentlemen?" The waiter asked and they shook their heads. He left them to eat.

 

"Have you talked to the label yet, or are you going to wait a little longer? To be honest I don't know anything about how the music stuff works, but I remember you mentioning it, so I'm guessing that's the first step...?" He grabbed his utensils and started cutting into his steak. He placed a bite onto his fork and placed it in his mouth, not bothering to stop the moan from leaving his lips, "Fuck, that's amazing."

 

Harry grinned smugly, taking his own bite of steak, "I told you so. And no, I haven't talked to the label yet. I haven't decided if I'll try working with the same one as before, or try a different one, and I still need to know whether I'll be working on my own or if maybe I can convince my old bandmates to join me. It won't be easy, but it's at least worth a shot. And I was also thinking maybe I'd work on writing first, like produce a couple songs and see if I'm still any good. It's been a few years, so my voice won't be the same and with everything I just might not have it in me anymore."

 

"If anything, a few extra years means you have more experience to work off of. You're going to be amazing Harry, just gotta get back into it, is all." Louis told him after swallowing his bite. The shy smile Harry sent him made his heart flutter, and he ignored it to take another bite of his steak.

 

"Thank you." Harry said, and they were in silence for a minute while they continued to eat their food. Eventually Harry spoke up again, "I actually wanted to ask, has anyone bothered you? I mean, like a reporter or anything? They don't typically pressure the date if that person isn't a celebrity themselves, but since I haven't said anything I think they might feel like they have no other choice but to bother you for answers."

 

"Hm... No, there hasn't been anything. People have been staring a lot, and I'm pretty sure my picture's been in magazines which is weird as fuck, but no one's - oh, well there was this one guy who said he was a reporter. He came up to me... Monday? I think it was Monday. He was asking about you, but I told him to piss off." Louis replied with a shrug. The guy had more or less left him alone after that, so he had pretty much brushed it off.

 

"Shit, I'm sorry. Were you at home? Fuck, I almost forgot how invasive those people are."

 

"Don't worry about it. It was just on the street while I was walking to work. He left me alone once I told him to go away."

 

"Okay, I guess... I think it's about time I say something about it, but I don't want to do anything too big. Don't want to bring too much attention to this."

 

"Wasn't that the point?"

 

"Kind of. A bit of attention is good, but too much isn't. Once there's a lot of focus on you that's when they start digging for dirt and talking real big time shit about you. We need to stay off the big guys' radar, at least for the time being. I think the best way would be a small comment on social media. Do you have a Twitter?"

 

"...Twitter?" Louis said confusedly, the word sounding almost foreign on his tongue. He could swear he'd heard the term before, but for the life of him it wouldn't click in his mind.

 

"The social media site? Twitter? The logo is a blue bird." Harry seemed almost shocked that he had to explain it to Louis.

 

"Oooh, Twitter. Right, I know what that is. I think I have one, don't know if I could get into it though. I think a friend made me make one forever ago."

 

"Well let me know if you can get into it and I'll ' _at_ ' you. I don't really have to, but it makes it easier for people to connect the face that they're seeing in the magazines to any comments I make online. Like it gives you an online persona that they can look at, instead of just the magazines. Does that make sense?"

 

"Not really, but I'm sure it makes sense to you. I'll text you if I can hack my own password."

 

"Sounds good."

 

They managed to finish eating their food despite talking the whole way through the meal. This time the conversation steered a little further from themselves and more about random junk they thought about on the spot. Louis thought it was rather cozy, having overcome his earlier insecurities rather easily once they'd started talking. Although Harry was a rockstar he was surprisingly down to earth and Louis felt like things were actually normal. He thought they could be friends once the faux-boyfriends thing was over.

 

Harry paid the bill again, but this time Louis didn't complain about it.

 

They stepped out of the restaurant, Harry taking Louis' hand in his as they walked towards the parking lot. Louis led them to his car, both of them remaining quiet for the short walk. Once they were in front of his car, Louis turned to Harry to gauge his reaction. He loved his civic since it got him places, but it was old and a little bit.... It was shit. Even shittier when compared to Harry's fancy car.

 

"This your, um... car?" Harry was obviously trying to be nice, but the way his eyes glanced over it was telling enough.

 

Okay, sure it was rusty and Louis hadn't bothered to wash it in what was probably over two years, and the amount of shit inside the vehicle would definitely give Harry a heart attack, but it was still his baby and his to defend.

 

"I'll have you know it runs just fine, thank you very much."

 

"I didn't mean to offend your car... but what year is it?"

 

"It's a 2000. I think she's doing pretty good for her age, don't you agree?" Louis leaned against the car, petting the hood affectionately.

 

"And you're sure it runs?" Harry was trying to take in the awful thing in front of him, but he didn't think he had enough time to do so.

 

"Absolutely. She was better maintained when I lived with my parents. My dad usually did the maintenance stuff... He tried to show me, but it was really boring."

 

"... And you call your car a 'she'?"

 

"Yeah, her name is red."

 

"But your car is grey."

 

Louis was pretty sure he could mess with Harry forever, but he gave him pity and allowed himself to laugh, "I haven't actually named my car, don't worry. But if I did her name would be Genevieve."

 

"Okay, now I know you're fucking with me." Harry smiled though despite the teasing, and wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and pulled him in.

 

"Weren't you taught not to insult a man's car?" Louis let Harry pull him to his chest, gently placing his own hands on his shoulders as they continued to chat, "Now I gotta get to class. I'm pretty sure I'm already late. Thanks again for dinner. You were right, it was really awesome."

 

Harry leant down and pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss. Louis knew it was for show, but he also figured he wouldn't really mind if it wasn't. What could he say? Harry was a good kisser, despite his earlier teasing.

 

"By the way, I have the clothes you leant me. They're in the trunk. Give me a sec..." Louis pulled out his keys and meant to head for the trunk, but Harry kept a firm grip on his waist.

 

"Don't worry about it, you can keep 'em. Get to class, yeah? I'll text you for the next date, but let me know if anyone starts bugging you, alright?"

 

Louis looked up at his concerned expression, most likely a little too fondly, and smiled gently, "Will do. Be good, I'll see you soon." Louis went on his tiptoes to kiss him one more time before parting ways, ignoring the tingle on his lips as he did a lot of things.

 

It wasn't weird yet, but it was coming. Or so he was assuming.

 

**OoOoO**

 

(From: Harry Styles 8:03 a.m)

Good morning!

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 10:13 a.m)

Did you really think I was going to be awake at eight o'clock on a Saturday?

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:15 a.m)

Sorry, didn't realize the time. Woops.

 

(From: That Sexy Fucker 10:18 a.m)

No worries, my phone was on silent anyways. So what's up?

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:19 a.m)

Were you able to get into your Twitter?

 

(From: Louis 10:23 a.m)

Umm... No, sorry. Forgot. I'll try now, gimme a minute.

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:23 a.m)

K

 

(From: Louis 10:30 a.m)

No luck. Locked myself out. I'll go ahead and reset it, it'll probably take a couple minutes.

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:31 a.m)

It's ok. How've you been? Has anyone been bothering you?

 

(From: Louis 10:35 a.m)

Not really. A couple weirdos here and there, but nothing I can't handle.

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:36 a.m)

Ok, that's good. I was told by an old acquaintance that there's this art exhibit coming to London in a couple weeks, think you'd be interested in that?

 

(From: Louis 10:37 a.m)

Is the art naked people?

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:38 a.m)

Probably not... But it could still be really fun!

 

(From: Louis 10:40 a.m)

So it's the stuff that looks like two year olds did it?

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:41 a.m)

It's art. And yes, probably.

 

(From: Louis 10:42 a.m)

Sure, sounds alright to me. Got my Twitter fixed now, by the way

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:43 a.m)

Awesome! For both things. What's your Twitter handle?

 

(From: Louis 10:43 a.m)

My what?

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:44 a.m)

Your username.

 

(From: Louis 10:46 a.m)

It's louis_tomlinson, I think? Or @Louis_Tomlinson.

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:50 a.m)

Got it. Did you just tweet out 'hi'?

 

(From: Louis 10:51 a.m)

Yup. Is that bad?

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:53 a.m)

No, it's fine. Was just making sure it was you. I followed you, so that's one thing done. I'll send out a message or something in a bit. Wanna think a little bit more about how I want to do this.

 

(From: Louis 10:55 a.m)

Sure. No rush.

 

(From: Harry Styles 10:56 a.m)

Alright!

 

...

 

(From: Harry Styles 2:48 a.m)

I'm thinking of getting a cat. What do you think?

 

(From: Louis 2:49 a.m)

Omg. Go to bed.

 

(From: Louis 3:01 a.m)

And no, don't get a cat. Get a fish if you're lonely. Now go to bed.

 

(From: Harry Styles 3:02 a.m)

Good night.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"Louis! Are you and Harry dating?"

 

"Can we get a picture?"

 

"Is Harry still taking drugs?"

 

"Is it true that Harry spent the last year living in a cabin in the middle of a rainforest?"

 

There were lights and talking and Louis took two steps back and closed the door. Luckily he'd been taking a side door that didn't have any windows and he couldn't see the people with their too-big cameras anymore. (And they couldn't see him.)

 

He let out a long sigh, rubbing at his sore temples in frustration.

 

Day after day it only grew worse since Harry still hadn't made any sort of comment about their relationship, and Louis wasn't upset with him about it, but he still really wished he'd get a move on with that. Until then he was pretty good at trudging through them and generally not giving a shit, but it had been a long morning and he desperately wanted to get out of the apartment and anywhere else.

 

He put his heavy backpack on the ground and pulled out his phone, bringing up a familiar contact. Not wanting to waste time with texting he simply pressed on the call button and held the device up to his ear. It rang twice before it was picked up.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey." Louis tried to sound happy, but he had a feeling his grumpiness was still showing through his voice.

 

"What's up? Are you alright?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Um, so I was wondering if I could come 'round to yours? I need to get out of the flat for a bit, or else I'll go mental, but there's like people and stuff, so..." He shrugged, ignoring the fact that Harry couldn't see him.

 

"People?"

 

"Paps, I mean. They don't usually bother me, but I've had a long day and I really need some peace and quiet, and they aren't exactly helping and-"

 

"Don't worry about it, of course you can come by. I'm not home right now, but I should be back in half an hour or so. I'll text you the code to the gate, and there's a spare key to the back door in the backyard. It's under the little angel statue - you'll know it when you see it. Are you still at your flat?"

 

"Yeah, I'll come straight over. Thanks, Harry. I owe you one."

 

"Are you safe to leave the building? I can send someone to pick you up, it'd take me less than a minute to set it up. I know some guys."

 

Louis smiled shyly at the tone of obvious concern in Harry's voice, "It's okay, I'm fine to get to my car. But... would you visit me in jail if I decided to run one of these pricks over with my car?"

 

"To be honest I'd be more worried that your car would fall to pieces on impact, but sure. I'd visit you and we'd have awesome phone sex." Harry said easily, seemingly not worried that he'd actually follow up on that threat. Louis was heavily considering it, but he was sure he wouldn't survive in jail.

 

He was a little offended by the jab at his car, but he laughed none the less, "Yeah, yeah. I'm sure Genevieve would run _you_ over just fine if she knew what you were saying about her."

 

"Pff. I'll see you soon then?"

 

"Yes you will. Text me your address too? Can't say I was paying attention the last time I went over."

 

"No problem."

 

"Alright, bye love. See you soon."

 

The term of endearment slipped off his tongue easily, but he liked to see it as getting into character.

 

With one swift motion he closed the call and his phone, placing the device in its usual pocket. He grabbed his backpack off the floor and slung it over his shoulder. His car keys were already in his hand and ready to be used, hopefully slimming down the amount of time he'd have to spend outside with the paps.

 

Taking a large breath he steeled himself for the barrage of noise and lights as he opened the door once more. He made his way to his car with mild struggle, ignoring their questions and not really hearing half of them, and using a hand to shield his eyes from the camera flashes. Somehow he made it to the side of his car, inserted the key, unlocked the door, and quickly sat in the driver's seat and closed the door behind himself.

 

Unfortunately the windows weren't tinted, and he still had to see them and they still got to see him, but at least now he was in his car and he felt somewhat safer. He knew they weren't going to hurt him, but they were definitely invasive and had no respect for personal space.

 

He turned on the car and drove off, barely - just barely - avoiding running over any of the paparazzi.

 

A couple pushed buttons later and one of his CD's started playing, the music soothing his stress and frustration. He drove down a couple streets almost mindlessly until he heard the ding of a text coming in. Harry had finally texted him his address and gate code. It wasn't an area he was familiar with and he had to pull over to start up his gps, but once the directions were there he made his way directly to Harry's house.

 

It was easily the richer part of London, large houses and beautiful cars as far as the roads stretched on. He felt almost out of place with his little civic with one too many dents, but he was going somewhere where he was welcomed and that was enough for him not to think too much about it.

 

Eventually he pulled up at the house number, stopping his car in front of a large steel gate. He stared at it for a moment, not quite sure how it worked. The last time he'd come by he hadn't even noticed the gate, and he hadn't exactly been sure what Harry was talking about when he'd mentioned a code, but now it made a little more sense. After looking it over he figured he knew what to do and stepped out of the car. Harry probably had a remote for the gate in his car, but it was nice that there was a manual way to enter as well.

 

To the left side there was a little box that he opened up. It had a little number pad in it and he quickly entered the digits that Harry had provided in his text. Hardly seconds later he heard creaking noises as the gate opened up. Once back in his car he drove it up to the front door and parked it there. There were four garage doors, but he didn't exactly have access, and he was pretty sure they were filled with whatever Harry had splurged on over the years.

 

It took him a couple minutes to walk around the large house and get to the backyard. There was a pool. He kind of wished he'd known that sooner. There was also a garden that looked freshly planted, maybe Harry had finally found himself a new hobby? And there in a corner was a small angel statue holding a harp with wind chimes in the place of strings.

 

Stepping next to it, he found it wasn't as heavy as it looked and he lifted it easily. Beneath, as Harry had said, was a tiny silver key that he picked up. He put down the statue and headed over to the back doors, a nice set of patio doors with full windows. He used the key to unlock the door and stepped inside the house.

 

He ended up in what seemed to be a living room of sorts, a large TV hanging off the wall and a large sofa on the side. He took off his shoes by the door and left the spare key on the coffee table. With a relieved sigh he took off his backpack and lay down on the couch.

 

A ginormous part of him wanted to take a nap, the rest - that tiny, tiny part of him - reminded him that the reason he'd been leaving the flat in the first place was to get some useful studying done. Home had felt almost suffocating, not quite enough space to breathe and think, and he had planned to go to a cafe or something to study in peace. That hadn't quite worked out, but now he was at Harry's, in the peace and quiet he'd been looking for, with no excuse not to do what he'd set out to do.

 

A little reluctantly he got up and brought his backpack closer to the couch. He pulled out his school book, laid back down, and proceeded to study.

 

It was maybe fifteen minutes later that he heard a door opening and closing, pulling his focus away from his book. He listened attentively, waiting for further noises, and he grinned when he heard Harry call out to him.

 

"Lou? You here?"

 

"Yeah, m'here!" He replied loudly, his eyes still on his book, but attention on Harry. His footsteps were drawing slowly nearer.

 

"Hey." Harry said, slipping into the living room, large smile on his lips.

 

Louis placed his book on his chest and looked up at him, smiling too, "Hey."

 

Harry stepped up to the couch, gently kneeling on it and slowly crawling over Louis' body, being careful not to squish him. "How're you doing?"

 

"I'm good. You look happy. Had a good day?"

 

"Yeah, the best." Harry leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss, quite unnecessary since there was nobody to see them, but Louis figured maybe he was trying to get in character too. "Are you okay? They didn't like, hurt you, did they? They can be a bit pushy."

 

Louis picked up his book and moved it aside, placing it on the coffee table, "Yeah, I'm okay. They were just a bit... much, I guess. Like I said, I wanted some peace and quiet and they made it difficult."

 

"I'm sorry. Were you planning on going somewhere specific? I can still take you there, if you want. It's no problem really." Harry said, eyebrows drawn tight and lips in a solid line.

 

"Not really. All I wanted to do was study anywhere but at home, so this is good." Louis explained. He wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and moved his legs to properly tangle the two of them together, pulling him in to try and kiss away the stress. When they parted, Harry's face had softened considerably.

 

"Good, that's good."

 

"So? What's got you in this good mood?" Harry's dimples had been on display pretty much since he'd walked in, hardly being able to take the bright smile off his lips.

 

Harry pulled back and sat on his heels, taking Louis hands' in his and tugging him up into a sitting position as well. They held onto each other as Harry started talking.

 

"I called some old friends of mine a couple days ago, well they were writers we used to work with. Me and the boys, that is. And they agreed to meet with me today. I went by the studio this morning for a chat and, well... They agreed to produce a couple songs with me!" Harry said excitedly, eyes shining and smile impossibly brighter.

 

"Really?!"

 

"Yeah, really!"

 

Louis pulled him in for a tight hug, heart racing with joy for Harry, "Oh, Harry, I'm so happy for you! Congratulations." He gripped his cheeks and kissed him on his lips and next to his mouth several times, made ecstatic by the news.

 

"This is... Better than I'd hoped. I didn't think they'd agree, but they said they'd be up for it. They move around a lot and they'll only be in London for a few more weeks, but that's plenty of time to get a bit of stuff done. If I can put out a song or two and see how people react to it, at least I can know whether there's a point to pushing at this or not." Harry continued once Louis had stopped laying butterfly kisses all over his face.

 

"That's wonderful, Harry. That's really, really great."

 

Harry brought Louis into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. As was possibly becoming habit, Louis let him manoeuver him to his liking, pliant under his strong hands. They stayed like that for a while, silent with wandering hands. Louis trailed his fingertips over Harry's back and up to his shoulders senselessly, wanting to touch and wanting to tell Harry how proud he was of him, but not knowing how or if that would be wanted in the first place.

 

Obviously Harry had come to him seeking words of encouragement, since he didn't have anybody else to share his excitement with, but their relationship was new and tender and any words he could muster up would probably fall short to what Harry's family or old friends could say.

 

That didn't stop him from trying though, "You deserve this. When it comes time to get to it, you're gonna show them exactly what you're made of." Louis pulled away enough to look him in the eyes, carding his fingers through his hair affectionately.

 

"Thanks, Lou." He gave him a quick peck on the lips, "I know you're not here to be my personal support system or whatever, but I really appreciate you saying that."

 

"There's a lot of people who support you out there, you just gotta get through the shitty people first. I mean, I've been messing with that Twitter thing and there's loads of people asking me if you're going to be making more music and stuff like that."

 

"... Really?"

 

"Absolutely! You should see it, some people are completely mad for you, Harry."

 

"Oh, I, uh..." He stuttered, the simple idea almost overwhelming, "I haven't gone through any Twitter comments in a long time, they used to really bum me out."

 

"Some are pretty shit still, but I can at least relay my favourites to you, yeah?"

 

"Yeah, yeah ok."

 

"Do you know when you're going to start writing?"

 

"We have a session booked for next Wednesday." Harry answered, fiddling around with Louis belt loops, attention not quite in one place anymore.

 

"That's pretty quick."

 

"Yeah, hey, what's your schedule for the day? Do you have to work tonight?"

 

"Nope, today's my easy day. I only had one class this morning at eight. In my first year if I wasn't at school I was at work, but it fucked with my grades so I work less now to have more study time. It's a bit tougher on the budget, but it's definitely a lot better for my schoolwork." Louis had a feeling he knew what Harry was getting at, but chose to play ignorant.

 

"Nothing for the rest of the day?"

 

"Nothing at all."

 

"Well, you know, if you wanted, I was thinking I'd like to celebrate this a lil' more. Unless you'd rather take the time to study, which I'd totally understand." Louis watched his gaze shift over to the doorway, which he couldn't say for certain, but he was definitely positive lead to a hall that would bring them to the master bedroom.

 

"Of course I'd like to celebrate more. But I'm afraid if you have any love for this house don't ask me to cook your favourite meal or anything."

 

"Nooo." Harry whined, leaning forward to press kisses to his lips, cheeks, and slowly moving down his neck. "You know what I mean you arse."

 

Louis moved his head to the side, giggling softly as Harry's hair tickled his neck, "You are aware it's like, two in the afternoon, right?"

 

"Gonna grab some afternoon delight." Harry sang lowly and then immediately reattached his mouth to Louis' neck.

 

Louis shifted a bit, feeling warm and jeans growing slowly tighter, but he drew back once the memory of what Harry had done to his neck last time resurfaced. "You, sir, are not allowed anywhere near my neck! Do you have any idea how long it took those hickeys to go away last time?"

 

"Was pretty hot, though."

 

Louis merely shook his head. He shifted around again, this time intending to step off the couch as they were obviously going to make their way to the bedroom, but Harry held him in place. Instead, Harry moved around until he could firmly plant his feet on the ground, not letting Louis off of his lap, and stood with him still in his arms. Louis immediately clung to him with his arms and legs wrapped around him as tightly as he could manage.

 

"Woah there, cowboy. No dropping me, alright?"

 

Harry started making his way to the bedroom, steps careful and grip firm. Louis passed his hands along his back, feeling the muscles shifting as he walked and carried his weight, and he felt down to his biceps, fingers unable to wrap completely around his arm. He felt a little dizzy, ridiculously turned on by the feel of smooth muscle under his fingertips and the idea that Harry was carrying him so easily. Were his arms even getting tired? Louis doubted it.

 

"How do you stay so fit?" Louis asked, voice strained. His jeans were now fully uncomfortable and he tried to move a little bit to ease the friction, but it only brought more focus to the fact that Harry's almost unbelievably large hands were supporting him by his bum. He could feel how huge they were, their natural body heat seeping into his jeans.

 

"I go to the gym sometimes. Do a bit of boxing too."

 

The image of Harry in boxing gloves and little boxing shorts, hitting a punching bag with sweat dripping down his bare back occupied him until they reached the bedroom. He tried to shift around a few more times to avoid making it really obvious how turned on he was, but he was pretty sure it was useless. He could practically feel Harry grinning from where his face was smushed into his shoulder.

 

They stepped through the bedroom door, but Harry stopped there for a moment.

 

"Is this like... Hot to you?"

 

"Hm?" Louis pulled back as much as he could in the position and took a look at Harry's expression, glad to see that he seemed mostly curious.

 

"The me carrying you thing. Got that impression last time too."

 

"Kind of?" He admitted, shifting his gaze.

 

"Oh. That's cool. I like carrying you, so I guess it's a win-win, yeah?" Harry gently set him down, making sure he was steady on his feet before guiding him with a gentle hand on his hip, "Turn around. Place your hands on the wall. Yeah, like that. Stay here for a sec?"

 

Louis hadn't realized they were right next to one of the bedroom walls, but there it was when Harry turned him around. Per his request he placed his hands on the wall, leaning forward a little and leaving his butt out. Harry tapped it gently as he stepped away. Louis stood still for a moment before growing impatient.

 

"What are you doing?" He could hear him fiddling around with a drawer, but he didn't turn to look. Harry hadn't said he couldn't, but Louis was enjoying letting him take control of the situation and would allow him to do what he wanted. For now.

 

He felt Harry step up behind him again, and he relaxed instantly.

 

"Just got the stuff, babe." Harry placed a condom packet between Louis' fingers - pressed up against the wall, and dropped a bottle of lube on the ground next to their feet.

 

Now Louis liked to think of himself as - what people most commonly refer to it as - a power bottom, usually quite dominant in the bedroom though he by far preferred to bottom, but he couldn't say he was averse to the idea of letting Harry take the reins. He let Harry slip off his t-shirt, hands removed from the wall for a brief second before returning to their place.

 

Harry worked on his jeans next, smoothly unbuttoning them and slipping down the zipper. Louis could feel Harry's body pressed against his back, and he couldn't help but push back with his bum, hardly holding in a gasp at how obviously hard Harry was too. What exactly had him so turned on, Louis wasn't exactly sure, but it was a lovely promise of the fun that was soon to come and he loved it.

 

He lifted up one foot at a time as Harry removed his jeans and underwear, and he leaned down himself to quickly discard his socks. Completely bare he returned to his position, face warm and hands slowly growing sweaty. For a moment he could only listen as Harry went on to remove his own clothing, fingers itching to be the one doing so. He felt like he hadn't quite gotten the full experience the first time he'd gotten to undress Harry, too quick to admire, but now it was done and he'd have to wait until next time he supposed.

 

"Gonna prep you now, okay Lou?"

 

Louis nodded, seeing him bend down to pick up the bottle of lube out of the corner of his eye. He felt a tap on his inner thigh and he spread his legs a little further apart for the silent request. He let out a small, shaky breath at the sound of the bottle popping open. It was a little unnerving not being able to see everything that was happening, but it was their second time doing this and he at least knew that Harry knew what he was doing.

 

The first finger went in almost smoothly, a little resistance from Louis as it took him by surprise despite the warning, but he quickly relaxed and allowed Harry to finger him slowly. There was a gentle hand on his hip, thumb rubbing up and down soothingly. By himself, Louis didn't often bother with fingering himself or using toys, preferring to have a quick wank instead. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, per say, he just didn't feel like taking the time to do it. That meant it'd been almost two weeks since he'd last been fucked, last time being with Harry of course, and so he'd need a proper prep.

 

Unfortunately he was always ever impatient, already starting to wiggle around. Harry slipped in a second finger, scissoring him and changing angles until he could get his prostate, Louis gasping when he finally did so. Louis stopped moving then, a little less impatient now that it was starting to feel really good.

 

A third finger went in and Louis leaned forward and rested his forehead against the wall. His toes were curling into the carpet, Harry's restless movements almost too much. Harry moved to press up against him, and he could feel his erection against his hip and he let out an involuntary shiver. He wanted it so bad.

 

"You look so hot when you're getting fingered. Think we can just do this all day? I'm quite enjoying the view."

 

The smooth glide of fingers slipping in and out, harsh and precise, had him quite sure he wouldn't necessarily be against the idea, but it seemed almost silly when there was a big, warm dick pressed right up against his hip that could be put to good use.

 

"C'mon, I'm ready." He breathed out and managed to hold back a whine when Harry withdrew his fingers.

 

"Turn around then." Harry requested, a gentle tap on his hip to guide him.

 

Louis frowned, not quite sure where this was going. He'd figured Harry would fuck him from behind, and he had been quite enjoying the idea, but maybe Harry had something even better in mind. He turned around and leant back up against the wall, legs a little weak from being so turned on. He caught Harry's heated gaze and licked his lips instinctly.

 

Harry pressed their lips together for a quick, sloppy kiss, pulling away almost as quickly, "Gonna pick you up, okay? Is that alright?"

 

"Pick me - oh! That's what..." It clicked suddenly what Harry wanted to do, and despite his rushing heartbeat he had slight reservations about it, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

 

"Won't drop you, promise." Harry pulled the condom packet out of Louis' hand and placed it and the lube on himself while Louis watched, fingers aching to touch.

 

"Okay." He agreed, willing to trust Harry on this if he'd just get started already.

 

Harry nodded, acknowledging the answer before continuing on. One of his hands went to Louis' hip, the other under his thigh, and he seamlessly hoisted him up and into his arms, back still pressed up against the wall. Louis wrapped his arms and legs around him, too tightly at first then slowly easing up as he grew more certain that Harry really wouldn't drop him. Harry reached around them and lined himself up with Louis' hole, pushing in when he sensed Louis was ready.

 

On the first thrust one of Louis' hand flew out, searching for some kind of support but finding none, and he settled for placing his palm flat against the wall. Harry started off slow, letting them both adjust to the different position, but was pretty quick to pick up the pace.

 

"You okay?" Harry asked, words choppy with heavy breaths.

 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Louis said hurriedly, just willing him to continue and never fucking stop.

 

Louis had never considered this position for his sex life, knowing it was a tough one in general, but that with anal it was even harder. At the very least it required quite a bit of flexibility on Louis' part. But at the moment he wasn't exactly sure why he hadn't at least given it a shot.

 

He was practically bent in half, and all he had to support him was the wall and Harry's strong grip on him, and his mind was jumbled and dizzy, the only thing he could bring focus to was the way he could feel every thrust inch for inch. Feel him pulling in and out, feel his dick warm and hard and stretching him as much as Louis was sure he could take. He leaned his head against the wall, panting heavily and taking it as Harry was willing to give it.

 

Harry shifted him a little bit and he moaned loudly at the sudden pressure on his prostate, legs almost going completely numb but he forced himself to hold on. The hand that had been pressed to the wall returned to Harry's shoulder, holding onto him with what strength he had left.

 

"Harry, fuck, there, right there." Louis tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling with unseeing eyes, too focused on the way Harry kept pounding into him relentlessly.

 

Harry pressed even closer against him, pressing their chests together, thrusts a little shorter due to the angle. He started placing soft, open mouthed kisses on Louis jaw and collarbone, lesson learnt to leave it at just kisses.

 

"So gorgeous, Louis. Look so good like this." He muttered against his skin.

 

Louis' breathing was erratic and consisted mostly of heavy pants, and he could feel sweat dripping down his brow and neck. The muscles in his thighs were starting to burn from being wrapped so tightly around Harry, and he probably didn't need to try so hard since Harry's grip on him was still strong and sturdy.

 

Pressed up against each other like this, Louis was held well in place between Harry and the wall, and he allowed his hands a bit of freedom to roam instead of hold onto Harry like his life depended on it. He brushed the sweaty hair out of Harry's face first, moving down his neck and to his shoulders and back. The muscles were shifting under his fingers and he could picture quite clearly the sweat that would be slipping down his back. He moved his fingers to Harry's biceps as he'd done earlier, trying again to wrap his hand completely around them. Of course, he still couldn't and that was unbelievably sexy to him.

 

He moved his head down and stared at his own hand pressed against Harry's skin. It looked so small.

 

"Harry, m'close." Louis managed to get out between moans and pants.

 

That seemed to spur Harry on even more, pressing somehow even closer and thrusting faster and harder. Louis dug his nails into Harry's shoulders, feeling the pressure building in the pit of his stomach. There was wonderful friction on his dick, trapped between their chests and rubbed on every movement. He was so, so close.

 

"Ha-Harry, _fuck_!" He wrapped his arms around Harry's neck holding on tightly as his body shook with his orgasm. He came between them, cum staining both of their chests and stomachs.

 

While his body shook slightly from the aftershocks of his orgasm and plain exhaustion, he eventually felt Harry still completely as he came too. There was only the sound of their heavy breathing for a moment, Harry's lips pressed to his shoulder as he tried to gather his breath. He pulled away eventually, kissing Louis sweetly before tapping his thighs.

 

"You good to get down?"

 

Louis nodded and unhooked his crossed ankles and let his stiff legs drop down, keeping his shaking hands on Harry's shoulders for support. Thankfully Harry kept a firm grip on his waist and held him too high, his feet unable to hit the ground. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stand on his own. The blood was returning to his legs, but they were shaky and probably too wobbly to walk on quite yet.

 

Harry slowly carried them over to the bed, his own limbs incredibly exhausted too.

 

"Has anyone ever told you that your thighs are like milkshakes?" He sat Louis down on the bed and he immediately laid back down, head hitting the smooth comforters with a contented sigh.

 

"Not sure if that's a compliment, but thanks... I guess." Louis mumbled sleepily, gazing up at him with a look that was probably far too fond. Harry ran a gentle hand up and down his thigh, face smoothed into something soft and sated.

 

"They're like a gift to mankind." Harry added, "I'll be right back." He stepped into the en-suite bathroom, just as he'd done last time.

 

Once the feeling had returned to his legs Louis moved around on the bed until he could place his head on the squishy pillow. He pushed the comforter aside and waited for Harry to return before burrowing into its soft confines.

 

Harry returned with a wet cloth and wiped him down. Silence rested between them as he did so, moving Louis around to wipe everywhere their mess had gotten.

 

"You're weird." Louis commented softly.

 

"I'll take that as a compliment." Harry put the cloth to the side once he was finished, stepping around the bed to get to his side. He had considered just going over Louis, but he wasn't sure he could do it without falling and crushing him.

 

"It's three in the afternoon and I feel like taking a nap. I think I'm getting old." Louis pulled the covers over himself and turned to Harry once he'd climbed into the bed. He shuffled forward until they were sharing a pillow, throwing one arm over Harry's waist and pressing his face into his shoulder. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the comfy bed and the even more comfy human heater. Harry held onto him, placing a kiss to his forehead.

 

"No need to make me feel ancient." Harry whined, mock offended.

 

"Mm." He hummed softly, "But you did pretty good for an old man."

 

"Ouch! My poor fragile heart!"

 

Louis giggled, pressing a soft kiss to Harry's chest where his heart was, "It'll live."

 

"How are you feeling? Was it alright, or was it too much?" Harry asked.

 

"It was awesome. Gonna be sore for days though."

 

"Yeah, same."

 

Louis was already starting to feel it in his legs and arms, and who knew what other muscles would be hurting by the next morning, but he felt it was worth it. Talk about wank material for the next year.

 

"Hey, didn't you need to get some studying done?"

 

"Nap first, study later. Don't you know anything about the student life, Harold?"

 

"Of course, how could I be so mistaken?" Harry threw a leg over Louis', pressing them even closer together than they already were. The position would probably get uncomfortable soon, but it was nice for now.

 

"When we get divorced I'm taking the pillows."

 

"Not even married yet, but you're already talking about divorce. This relationship seems very promising."

 

Louis laughed tiredly, letting himself grow heavier and heavier as his fatigue starting taking over. He could feel Harry going soft in his arms, sleep taking over the both of them it seemed. Harry's breathing had gone completely steady, indicating he was either asleep or almost there.

 

There hadn't been a question about whether or not they would continue to do things like have sex and cuddle, things done in private and not for the public eye, but they had both somehow agreed that they would without discussing it. Yet Louis wondered if maybe they should have talked about it. At this point he wasn't sure it had anything to do with getting into character and more with the fact that they had great sexual chemistry.

 

And despite almost feeling like a literal heater, Harry was quite the good cuddler too.

 

"... Is that a yes?"

 

**OoOoO**

 

Harry Styles _@Harry_Styles_

Me and my bae _@Louis_Tomlinson_. ( _Picture inserted_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for the sweet messages and kudos, it makes my week :) Hope you enjoyed this weeks chappie!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note - I will not be uploading next week as I will be on a (much needed) vacation. I will be uploading the week after.
> 
> This chapter is one day early because I won't have a lot of time tomorrow and I didn't want to risk missing putting this out. If I do end up having time, hey, I might put out another chapter. Who knows.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one though :)

(From: Louis 8:04 a.m)

Save me.

 

(From: Harry 8:07 a.m)

You've been in class for like five minutes.

 

(From: Louis 8:07 a.m)

It's so boooooriiiiing and too early for a Wednesday.

 

(From: Harry 8:09 a.m)

Couldn't you have taken less 8 o'clock classes?

 

(From: Louis 8:11 a.m)

Passed the first couple years there's less classes available and you have to take what you can get.

 

(From: Harold 8:15 a.m)

That sucks. You're in your history class right?

 

(From: Louis 8:15 a.m)

(8:16 a.m)

Got your first writing session today, yeah?

 

(From: Dork 8:18 a.m)

Yes. At two.

 

(From: Louis 8:19 a.m)

You nervous?

 

(From: Popstar 8:21 a.m)

Kind of? Very excited too, though.

 

(From: Louis 8:22 a.m)

Good. Kick their ass. Not literally. Show them how kick ass you are without actually kicking any asses. Um... This went somewhere weird.

 

(From: Popstar 8:25 a.m)

I get it. Thanks, babe. I'll try my best.

 

(From: Louis 8:25 a.m)

Call me when it's done to let me know how it went?

 

(From: Popstar 8:27 a.m)

Will do! I gotta go. Meeting my trainer at nine. Call you later.

 

(From: Louis 8:28 a.m)

Alright, have fun. Chat later.

 

(From: Popstar 8:30 a.m)

Byyyyyyeeeee xox

 

**OoOoO**

 

Within the last five minutes he'd gotten two calls from Harry. He answered neither of them. In the last three weeks Harry had almost learnt his school schedule better than himself and would know that he was in class for at least the next hour. Louis had assumed the first call was a way for him to let Louis know that he was done and was up for a chat whenever the chance came up, as he did sometimes have breaks during his class hours, but the second one made him curious.

 

Maybe it had gone really well and he was just too excited and needed to talk about it?

 

Louis was going with that. He wasn't one to ditch on lectures, especially not right in the middle of one. He'd gotten past that phase by the end of his first year and he'd seen the grades. Yet there was a third call visible on the silenced phone's screen.

 

Something was wrong. Harry wouldn't call three times in a row, no matter how happy or excited he was. Harry rarely even texted him a second time if he didn't answer right away. He wasn't pushy like that. For him to call three times in five minutes meant something was up, and it probably wasn't good.

 

Louis took the phone and slipped out of the lecture hall quietly, feeling mildly guilty about it. He'd apologize to his teacher after class and explain the situation.

 

By the time he was in the hall and somewhere quiet the call had ended and the screen went dark. He quickly opened it up and clicked Harry's name, the phone ringing only once before it was answered.

 

"Lou!" Harry said too loudly on answering. He sounded off somehow. Louis couldn't quite figure out how.

 

"Harry? Is everything alright?"

 

"No. Yes. No. Can I come 'round? I just - I-I need to go somewhere. Anywhere. Are you home?"

 

Louis caught what was seeming off now that he'd spoken a bit more. Harry was talking oddly fast, voice a little more high pitched than usual. He seemed nervous, or something like it.

 

"I'm not home right now, but you can go by and I'll meet you there. I have a lecture until five."

 

"Oh, oh, okay. We can do that. I can do that. I'll see you at your place then."

 

Louis felt like he was about to hang up, and quickly called out to him before he could, "Harry! Pumpkin, what's a matter? Is there anything I can do right now?"

 

"No, no, no, don't worry about it. I'll see you soon. Take care, bye bye."

 

Before Louis could say anything else the call was over. He stared at his phone for a long moment, wondering what on earth had gotten into Harry. Maybe it had gone really badly, although Louis couldn't see how that could have happened. He probably had a little too much blind faith in Harry, but he liked to consider it a bit of trust and respect.

 

He quickly texted him his address, figuring Harry wouldn't remember it well enough from the one time he'd driven him home, and added his apartment number. He told him to ask his neighbour for the spare key, another thing Harry didn't seem to have thought about. His neighbour was an elderly woman named Ms. Lisette, and he'd given her his spare about two years ago. Whenever he'd go to Donny he'd ask her to water his plants, and he'd help her do her groceries from time to time when her grand-daughter couldn't.

 

It was a mutually beneficial agreement they had. Plus he didn't really have anything to rob, so, he didn't much mind.

 

He returned to class and placed his phone back down on his desk, trying desperately to focus on what was left of the lecture and catch back up to the five or so minutes he'd just lost.

 

Yet he found he couldn't.

 

Harry had seemed so troubled, obviously trying really hard to sound alright, but failing horribly.

 

Louis' fingers played a rhythm on his desk, his eyes on his teacher, but his mind elsewhere.

 

With a heavy breath Louis started packing up his things. There was no sense sitting around worrying, not listening to a word his teacher was saying, when his boyfriend (faux-boyfriend, he reminded himself) wasn't alright, maybe not enough so to be on his own as well. He'd have to make a big apology to his teacher when their next class came around. Missing five minutes was different than missing an entire hour.

 

He didn't feel too bad as he stepped out of the lecture hall and made his way to his car. If Harry needed him, he'd be better off with him than at his desk.

 

The music blared as he turned on his car, and he was quick to lower the volume. He wondered if Harry would already be there when he showed up. By the tone of his voice and the sounds he'd heard in the background, he figured he'd already been driving to his place when he finally managed to reach Louis.

 

His apartment building was about a ten minute drive from the school, a little too far for walking, but almost too close for driving. He usually bused, but on his longer days he'd take the car.

 

He drove past the front of the building, as he needed to do so to reach the tenant parking lot, and he was pretty sure he saw Harry's Range Rover in the visitors parking. He found his own designated spot and parked his car, quickly grabbing his backpack and rushing into the building. There weren't any paps at the moment, either they had gotten bored of him or had learnt his schedule, but at least the way was clear.

 

Instead of taking the elevator he chose to take the stairs. He only had a flight to go up, only living on the second floor, and the elevator always took so long. In no time at all he was in front of his flat door. He turned the knob, not too surprised to find it unlocked, and stepped into his flat.

 

"Babe? I'm home!" He shouted as he walked in. He placed his bag on the floor and kicked off his shoes.

 

"Hey." He heard a soft voice from the living room.

 

He walked through his tiny flat to reach the living room, finding Harry laying down on his old worn out sofa face down in the armrest. He was wearing slacks and a nice black blazer, obviously having come straight from the studio. He'd been trying to impress them by looking proper, but now he looked extremely out of place in Louis' absurdly messy apartment.

 

"Harry?" He stepped towards him cautiously.

 

Harry turned his head a little bit, but it still wasn't enough for Louis to see his face, "Hey." He repeated.

 

There was silence. Louis made his way next to the sofa, kneeling next to it and staring at the part of Harry's face that he could see. His cheeks were red, and he could see old tear tracks running down his eyes. Harry stared up at him, his eyes red from crying, and hopefully nothing else. Louis ran a hand through his hair soothingly.

 

"I thought you were at school." Harry said after the silence had stretched on for too long.

 

"I-yeah, I was. What's happened, darling? What's wrong?"

 

That only brought more tears to the surface, and Louis quickly moved to coddle him as much as possible. He sat on the couch and pressed his chest to Harry's back, kissing the back of his neck and what he could reach of his cheek.

 

"Shh, shh, it's okay, baby. I'm here. I've got you." Louis mumbled into his ear, petting his hair and kissing him anywhere he could reach.

 

Whatever had happened, it wasn't good. He was glad he'd decided to come home when he had.

 

Harry turned onto his side, reaching out to pull Louis onto the couch next to him. Louis let himself be guided, laying down on the couch next to Harry, letting him wrap himself around him and burry his face in his hair. He was still crying, probably hadn't really stopped in quite some time.

 

"I've got you, I've got you." Louis repeated into his neck, holding onto him tightly and letting Harry cry.

 

It took a few minutes, but eventually he stopped crying, breathing erratic but at least stable enough to talk.

 

"I-I fucked up, Lou."

 

"What happened, Harry? C'mon, talk to me." He coaxed gently, tilting his head back to look Harry in the eyes, saddened by the look of shame in his eyes. He placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it with his thumb and being quiet until Harry felt he could speak further.

 

"The writing session went perfect, we wrote and we got some good bars and verses and shit, and it was great. But I just, I don't know, Lou. My head, I know it's all in my head, but when I got home I just..."

 

Louis rubbed his back soothingly, staying silent as he knew Harry would continue when he could.

 

"I've been doing so well. I thought I was over all this crap. But it felt like it was back then and I... I wanted it. Wanted the... stuff. I used to come home from writing sessions and get so high I couldn't get out of bed for days. Sometimes I'd go there high and we'd write great stuff together, and at the time I thought it was my inspiration, but we wrote today and it was good. But I still..." Harry choked up, not finishing his sentence. He was a bit all over the place, but Louis understood where he was.

 

"Shh, shh." He tried to sooth his choked sobs, "You didn't do anything, right?"

 

Harry nodded, reaching up to wipe at his tears, "Yeah, I don't have anything in the house and I told my old dealer not to sell me anything anymore. Couldn't get it if I tried." He said with a dark laugh.

 

"You could if you really, _really_ , wanted to, but you didn't. That's great, Harry! You knew you were at that point and you went somewhere where you felt safe, and that was very brave of you. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're trying really hard and not everybody would do that." Louis tried to be reassuring, but wasn't quite sure if he was managing.

 

He'd been taking psychology courses for almost three years, but it flew out the window when it was somebody he was personally attached too. They had warned him about that at least.

 

Harry looked at him, a little warmed by the words and the attempt, but not quite convinced, "I guess."

 

"So basically you went home and felt like you wanted to get high, is that right?"

 

"Yeah, pretty much." Harry admitted, voice low as if he didn't want to hear the words out of his own mouth.

 

"And you didn't. You should be proud of yourself, Harry. _Be_ proud of yourself. That's not easy, but you did it. You came to me instead, and you didn't even call your dealer, did you?" Louis said, assuming but having a feeling he was right.

 

Harry nodded, "As soon as I started feeling it I called you. You're the only person who still believes in me, and I won't let you down too." Harry said fiercely, making Louis smile brightly.

 

"See? You can do it if you set your mind to it. And I do believe in you, so, so much. You can stay here as long as you need to feel comfortable, okay? I'm here for you, I promise." Louis tilted his head up to press a kiss to his lips, wishing he could feel exactly how much he meant those words.

 

Maybe their whole situation was a bit complicated, but Louis could tell how much Harry wanted to fight this, how badly he wanted to win against that darker side of him that had once ruined his life and his career, and he wanted nothing more than to support him on that venture.

 

"Thanks, Lou." Harry mumbled softly, leaning forward and burying his face in Louis' hair, breathing in the familiar scent of Louis' shampoo. After sleeping in the same bed and cuddling together only a couple times, he shouldn't be so used to it, but he was.

 

"Do you know why you suddenly felt that way? You mentioned that it was something you used to do, right?"

 

Harry shrugged as best as he could while laying down, "I guess. I walked through the door and I went straight to the drawer where I used to keep... that stuff, but it was empty and then I started getting the shakes and I could hardly think. It was like I was going through withdrawal all over again. I thought I was over this. I thought... I was better than this." Harry admitted.

 

"I see..." Louis thought for a moment, trying to be supportive, but also wanting to help, "How long have you been living in that house? Just wondering."

 

"It's the only house I ever bought. When we started the band and we actually did good, I bought that house with the stupid assumption that I would raise a family in it. Instead I spent my time throwing up in the closets."

 

"You bought a house at like, twenty years old, with the intention of raising a family in it?" Louis asked, a bit stunned. He was twenty, and although he wanted kids more than he wanted most things, he wasn't going around making plans for it.

 

"I know, it's stupid. I'm twenty-nine and I've not even been married, but that's what I wanted at the time. I still want it, but things just... Took an awful turn. I think about it all the time, how it could have been, but... Maybe I'm not cut out for that."

 

"It's cute. That you were so sure. It's lovely, Harry, it really is. But since things did take that turn for the worse, have you ever considered that maybe your surroundings are the issue?"

 

"Of course. That's why I don't even talk to the people I did that stuff with anymore. Haven't spoken to them in years, probably."

 

"That's not what I meant. What I mean is your actual physical surroundings." Louis explained, not wanting to push, but still wanting to be helpful.

 

"Hm?"

 

“Maybe you should look into moving to a new house." Louis said, not quite looking Harry in the eyes. Telling someone that they need to move to a different home, especially after they've lived there for so many years, was a bit of a daunting task.

 

"What?" Harry seemed confused by his words, frowning in uncertainty.

 

"It's just a suggestion, but it might help. I was thinking maybe if you got a new house, and probably new furniture too, you'd feel better."

 

"I can't sell that house. It's my baby house." Harry pressed stubbornly, not quite understanding what Louis was going on about.

 

"Maybe at first, but not anymore. Now it's your drug house."

 

Harry let go of him, moving to sit up, but Louis kept him still, listening to his upset words. He understood, he really did, but it was the best suggestion he had to offer.

 

"I can't just sell my house, Louis. I bought that house with a dream and I'm not going to abandon it because I'm... Because I'm weak. I can get over this, I promise. I just need to work through this."

 

"Do you know why I told you I couldn't stick around if you started taking drugs again?" Louis said suddenly, eyes on Harry's collar rather than his eyes.

 

"...No." He said softly, a little calmer than before.

 

"I... Because I used to take drugs, too." He admitted, meeting Harry's surprised gaze, "Yeah, back when I was in High School. It didn't go too far at least, but my mum found out and had me go through rehab right away. I have an addictive personality, which I didn't know at the time, but my mum did, and they tried to teach me some things there. I mostly learnt from seeing the people who'd gone too far. I didn't want to be one of them, so I took all their suggestions and I put them to action, separating myself from that stuff and starting anew. It wasn't because of anything in my life, I just had friends who'd convinced me to start and I couldn't stop on my own."

 

"...Oh." Harry said gently, uncertain what the right words to say were.

 

"So I'm not saying you _need_ to sell your house, I'm saying it would help. One of the doctors there told me that if you do it long enough you associate certain things with drugs, like what happens with smoking cigarettes. Anything that used to lead to drugs, or that you did drugs before doing, needed to be removed to stop the temptation. If you get home and assume that your stuff will be there waiting for you, maybe you need a new home... And probably new furniture. It depends where you did it, like in bed or in front of the T.V, and why you were doing it." Louis tried to explain.

 

He'd never been open about that part of his life with a boyfriend before, considering it private and in the past, but if it would help Harry then he could tough it out. It had been about four years since then, and he knew that if someone ever offered him something he would have a hard time saying no. That's why he put himself in places where he wouldn't be offered in the first place.

 

"I... Okay. I'll think about it. I wanted so much from that house, you know? It was supposed to be my future. But I fucked it all up. I don't know if I could start all over again."

 

"You can, Harry. I know you can. If you need any help I'm right here, I promise. I'm only a phone call away."

 

"Yeah..." Harry said, "Guess it makes sense. I'll think about it. I don't know, but thanks for telling me that. I know it must be tough to be with someone who-"

 

"I'm happy to be here with you." Louis interrupted him, knowing what he was getting at, "I knew what I was getting into, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Trust me, Harry."

 

Harry stared at him for a long moment, taking him in. Louis simply stared back, letting him see what he wanted, or needed, to see. Harry leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a closed-mouthed kiss. His hand ran down Louis' side and stayed still at his waist, bringing the two as close as possible, pressing their fronts together. It was in no way sexual, based off simply the need to touch.

 

"I do. I trust you. I'll... I'll make you proud, I swear."

 

He could tell Harry that he was already immensely proud, but he wasn't quite sure he'd be believed. If Harry wanted to take the time to better himself and earn his pride, then so be it. He'd let him do what he felt was right.

 

They kissed off and on and cuddled together for the next little while, staying silent and simply enjoying each other's company. Louis was giving Harry the time to think, not wanting to interrupt him in his thoughts. He had missed the rest of his lecture, but it was only one hour and his teacher would be nice enough to catch him up next week. He didn't mind taking the time to let Harry rearrange his thoughts.

 

After that time Harry dozed off, limbs still strongly attached to Louis. He simply reached out for the TV remote, turning it on and putting on some random show he kind of recognized. When Harry woke up a couple hours later, rested and a little bit cheerier, they ordered pizza and watched sappy romantic comedies.

 

Whether or not Harry would actually do as he'd suggested was yet to be determined, but at least he was feeling better, which was what he'd really wanted.

 

Maybe they weren't really together, but it didn't mean they couldn't support each other like real couples did. Or so Louis liked to believe. There was a lot about the situation he didn't fully understand, but he was happy and he considered that enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, to recapitulate, no chapter next week due to me being gone on vacation.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the lovely comments and kudos! My heart is made of flowers and joy now :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Here is the next chapter. It's a tad longer I believe, so I hope that makes up for no chappie last week. As well, My shifts at work have changed, so my updates will be Friday night rather than Friday morning, if anyone had paid any attention to that in the first place lolz. Enjoy!

(From: Popstar 10:38 a.m)

Hey Lou! Remember that art exhibit I was telling you about? It's in town next week. I was thinking we could go on Thursday since it's your less packed day of the week.

 

(From: Louis 10:44 a.m)

Sure. What time is it at?

 

(From: Popstar 10:45 a.m)

It's at two.

 

(From: Louis 10:46 a.m)

That's good for me. I finish class at noon. I'll drive us, so just text me directions when you get the chance.

 

(From: Harry 10:53 a.m)

Will do. See you Thursday.

 

(From: Louis 10:54 a.m)

See you then.

 

**OoOoO**

 

Louis wasn't really upset by Harry's comments about his car, all of them quite justified, but he still took immense pleasure out of torturing him a little bit. He knew that Harry considered this revenge for those comments, but Louis had offered to drive mostly to see Harry's expression as he tried to be nice, but failed miserably.

 

"Is it, um, supposed to make that sound?" Harry was pressed up against the car seat, one hand gripping the center armrest and the other on the ' _holy shit bar_ ', as Louis' mother liked to call the small bar by the window as she'd been teaching him how to drive.

 

"Probably not." Louis replied nonchalantly. He had a long weekend planned in a couple months to go up to Doncaster and visit the family, and it was typically on those visits that his dad would take a look at his car. Last time he'd gone his dad was out of town and hadn't been able to see him, making it at least a year since the last checkup.

 

He'd been meaning to take it to a garage, but... Knowing the most likely incredibly expensive issue would be worse than ignoring it.

 

"Oh." Harry said meekly, gaze fixed on the front window, almost unblinking in his fright.

 

Really, at least he wasn't a bad driver.

 

Soon enough the GPS advised them that their destination would be on the right in two hundred meters. Harry provided directions, letting him know to pull out front of the building.

 

"A valet will park the car for us." He sounded like the idea wasn't pleasing to him, Louis couldn't imagine why. Maybe it had something to do with being seen in his shit car, but probably not.

 

"Do I leave the keys in, or am I meant to give them to the guy myself?" Louis had never been in a valet type situation before.

 

"Give them to him when he gives us the little ticket." Harry instructed and proceeded to get out of his side of the car as did Louis.

 

Harry spoke politely to the valet and Louis handed over the key with an embarrassed grin, "If it doesn't start the first time, just keep at it. She'll start eventually." He advised him, the valet giving him a strange look. What, like rich people didn't have faulty cars too? Probably not.

 

Harry had told him that the art exhibit was a private showing for people with money, but not much popularity that would garner too much attention from the media. He had doubts that they'd even be spotted, but he was hoping that if they were, at least he'd be at a posh event that would make him look 'adult'. Louis was pretty sure there were a million more fun places they could have gone to that would have had the same effect, but Harry was adamant on his posh club, so Louis kept quiet on the matter.

 

He'd never pictured himself walking into an art exhibit, but there he was.

 

Harry held his hand as they walked through the large doors, opened by some type of security staff. Louis wasn't sure why they'd need security for a bunch of scribbles, but it probably wasn't his place to judge.

 

"Have you gone to this sort of thing before?" Louis asked, keeping his voice low. The first step through the doors lead them to an eerie atmosphere of quietude.

 

"Once, I think. It's not really my kind of thing, but it's all about making an impression, right? Maybe it'll be fun." He didn't seem convinced, which soothed Louis considerably At least he wasn't the only one who felt severely out of place.

 

They were first in the main entrance with few people mingling around and talking in hushed voices. Harry gave his name to a lady with a clipboard, and she had a tight smile on her lips as she gestured to an opening on the side.

 

"The main showroom is over there, gentlemen."

 

Harry thanked her and they made their way through the archway she'd been pointing to. This room held more whispering people and a couple dozen artworks strewn around the room. Harry had mentioned that they were all by the same artist, the exhibit expressly for that person, and they were supposedly held in high regards. Louis could tell it was all by the same person.

 

He followed Harry's even steps to the first piece, a painting hanging on the wall, and stayed silent as he stared at it. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Harry staring at it too, confusion stretched across his features. He wondered if he was seeing the same thing he was.

 

Harry quietly lead them to a different work, still not saying a word, and this time they stopped in front of some type of pastel work. Louis wasn't quite sure and didn't care enough to read the sticker on the wall next to the frame.

 

When they stopped in front of a third one, Louis couldn't keep silent any longer.

 

"Please tell me you're seeing what I'm seeing." He pressed himself into Harry's side, keeping his voice down to avoid any prying ears. Not that anybody seemed to be paying them any attention, but he was sure this wasn't a conversation he wanted overheard.

 

Harry opened his mouth, but nothing came out for a long moment. He shut his mouth and simply nodded once.

 

"Yeah, thought so." Louis stared at his feet, unable to force himself to look at it any longer.

 

Harry made a sound, a soft choking noise, as he tried to say something, "So....

 

There was a stretch of silence again. Harry hadn't taken his eyes off the thing, and Louis was amused by the look of horror that was peeking out from his strong attempt at being collected.

 

"They're all, or they all look like..."

 

Louis turned and pressed his chest against Harry's side, glancing over his shoulder at the other artworks while trying not to look like he was openly staring. "Every single thing is this room is a vagina."

 

Harry coughed awkwardly, "Seems so."

 

"I would have been glad to spend most of my life never looking at them more than I had need to, but now there's thirty right in front of me and I'm going to be scarred for life. Thanks."

 

"I didn't-" Harry made another choking sound, obviously struggling to hold back his laughter.

 

Louis placed his lips against Harry's shoulder, unable to restrain his own laughter, but trying not to be too loud about it. There were still quite a few people in the room, none of them seeming to notice, or care, that every single item in the room was a different variation of a vagina.

 

Harry placed a hand on his hip and gripped tightly, shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter.

 

"So what I'm understanding is that you need lots and lots of lady bits to be pretentious - I mean, _mature_. Is that right, Harold?"

 

This had Harry pressing his face into his hair, no longer bothering to hold back and letting soft laughter escape his lips.

 

Louis was pretty sure if anyone saw them they probably looked like a couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other, and that no one would assume they were laughing at the ridiculous artwork in the room. Hopefully.

 

"I didn't think it'd be this." Harry admitted through a few chuckles. "Oh my God."

 

"-The red symbolizes her anger and the way it's mixed in with the purple shows-" The two boys overheard a woman say as she passed behind them talking to her partner.

 

They burst out laughing, too quick to contain it and obviously too loud for their environment. The woman turned to glare at them, "Is there something funny?"

 

"No, no, sorry." Louis apologized, eyes shining and tear filled from trying to keep himself straight-faced. The woman walked away with a saunter after she gave him a long disapproving look.

 

"Are people meant to buy this shit?" Louis asked, turning back around to stare at the same piece, still keeping most of his weight against Harry whom didn't seem to mind.

 

"Maybe we're just perverts and it's actually completely innocent." Harry didn't sound convincing, even to himself.

 

"I've changed many baby girl diapers, Harold." Louis said as way of explanation. It sufficed, since Harry didn't deny it again. They were exactly what they thought and there really was no pretending otherwise.

 

"I think we should just go. This is... very uncomfortable."

 

"You're telling me. But are we allowed to go? Or are we supposed to be here for a certain amount of time?" Louis would have been gone the second he'd stepped in the room if it weren't for Harry. They were meant to be making an impression after all.

 

"Well... We should stay for a while, but I've got to get out of here. It's just so weird. I don't typically mind the lady bits, but when they're on a wall for everyone to stare at... It's weird. I'm going to need to wash my brain out with soap. And dick." Harry spun Louis around, meeting his unimpressed gaze with a coy smile. "Yours, preferably."

 

"You're such a perv." That unfortunately didn't stop Louis from leaning forward to kiss him. Dirty minds were kind of sexy sometimes. Or maybe only Harry could get away with it.

 

They heard a cough from the side, inciting them to pull apart. They looked at the source of the sound, spotting a balding man with a scowl on his lips. Louis knew a dickhead (i.e. a homophobe) when he saw one and lifted a hand to flip him the bird. Harry was a little too slow in reaching out and pulling his hand down, the finger already up before he could prevent it.

 

The man's expression grew darker, but the one good thing about pretentious rich people was that they avoided making scenes in public (unless they looked really good) to avoid being considered anything other than posh.

 

"Let's get out of here." Harry held his hand tightly and dragged him out of the room, Louis throwing one last glare over his shoulder at the older man.

 

Back in the main entrance the hostess stared at them suspiciously, "Leaving already?"

 

"Oh, yes, we left the pussy-"

 

"Cat! We left the cat in the oven. I mean outside. Yes. Cat. Outside. We have to go." Harry interrupted Louis and quickly dragged him out of the building.

 

Once outside they both burst out laughing, not bothering to hold it back any longer. Louis bent down, hands on his knees, as he laughed until tears welled up in his eyes. He could hear Harry laughing nearby, and it only made him laugh harder.

 

"Oh my God, Lou!" Harry said with the little breath he had.

 

"I know! I'm sorry, slip of the tongue." Louis straightened up, smiling brightly, cheeks red, and eyes sparkling.

 

"Maybe you need to put your tongue to better use, hm?" Harry approached him, throwing an arm around his shoulders, a boyish grin on his lips.

 

"You're disgusting." Louis smacked him in the crotch, earning a pained groan in response. He moved to stand in front of him, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and kissing him because he could.

 

"Is that a yes?"

 

"You know, if it gets pussy off my mind, maybe." Louis chuckled softly, only mildly embarrassed by the flub. He hadn't seen that much vagina in his entire lifetime, he couldn't help being a bit overwhelmed.

 

Harry bent a bit, arms around Louis' waist - more nearing his bum - and lifted him just enough to get his feet off the ground. Louis laughed, holding onto him tightly.

 

"What are you doing?!"

 

"Kiss me and smile for me." Harry sang loudly, spinning them around a couple times, "Tell me that you'll wait for me!"

 

"Harry! Put me down!" He did this often, bursting into random songs whenever he wanted, even when it wasn't exactly appropriate or necessary. Louis thought it was cute.

 

"Never. You're stuck there forever and ever and ever." Harry kissed him all over his face, unable to kiss his lips as he couldn't stop laughing at the ridiculousness of this supposed rockstar. If anything, he was just a ginormous dork.

 

"M-Mr. Styles?" A careful voice pulled them out of their moment, their focus brought away from each other and to the young man in a blazer with an I.D tag reading 'valet'. "Did you need us to go get your vehicle?"

 

Harry put down Louis and fished the little ticket that indicated their car number out of his pocket and handed it to the young man. "Here you go. It's the one with the rust."

 

"Thank you." The valet averted his gaze and walked away, obviously embarrassed.

 

Louis laughed, cheeks almost hurting from how much he'd been doing so in the last little bit, "Poor kid. Wonder how much he heard."

 

"I wonder if he'll get your car started."

 

"Genevieve takes offence." Louis said, probably a tad more offended than the car.

 

"I'm sure she does, but she knows I mean it with love." Harry kept him close, their bodies pressed firmly against each other.

 

"Hm. I'm not sure she does. You know, we can't all have fancy sports cars like you."

 

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

 

"I'm messing with you, Haz. Chill." Louis rubbed his shoulder softly, soothing the distressed look off his face.

 

"What did you just call me?" Harry asked, taking Louis to his word.

 

He didn't necessarily feel like he had to step on coals around Louis, but he didn't want to be an asshole or insensitive either.

 

"It's a nickname, dummy. You know, like normal people do."

 

"My name's pretty short as it is." Harry said. He'd never really had a nickname, in the last few years more accustomed to being addressed by his full name even rather than simply his first name. Sometimes he felt like his name had more fame than his talent. He felt that a lot, actually.

 

"So's mine."

 

Harry couldn't say he minded.

 

"I guess you can call me whatever you want."

 

"As long as we get naked later, right?" Louis said, grinning.

 

"Heeey, that's not what I meant. But it's definitely a bonus. You don't have any plans for the rest of the day, right?"

 

"What's it to ya'?" Louis said with a terrible accent, but it still garnered the laugh he wanted.

 

"Let's spend the rest of the day together, yeah? Unless you have something else to do. This was supposed to last a couple hours, figure we have some extra time now that it turned out to be stupid."

 

"I'm glad you can admit this was stupid. And no, I have no place to be. I'll need to stop at home to get my books since I do have some homework to do, and I can grab a change of clothes. If you want me to stay the night. Whatever." Louis shrugged, willing to do whatever Harry was up for. It was his quietest day of the week, according to himself his day for studying and homework, but he wouldn't mind spending it with Harry. He enjoyed being with him, and Harry didn't mind when he would do his thing while a movie was playing.

 

It was nice to have someone who understood he had a life outside of them.

 

If he were to have a steady boyfriend at the moment, he wished he'd be like Harry.

 

"Of course. So we'll stop at yours then go to mine."

 

"Sounds like a plan then."

 

"Think I'll make tacos for dinner. Do you like tacos? Ooh, or fajitas! Probably have to stop for groceries, I don't think I have the ingredients." Harry mused aloud while Louis simply listened patiently. He wasn't a picky eater, and who was he to complain when he got a good meal cooked for him?

 

"M-Mr. Styles?" The two turned to the same young man from earlier, "Th-the car wouldn't start, I'm sorry." He stuttered and blushed, gaze directly on Louis as he handed him the car keys. Which was a little odd.

 

"Excuse me?" Louis said, not too bothered by the news. His car was a little difficult at times, and it'd probably be fine when he went himself. He was more curious about the other part.

 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Styles, I tried for a couple minutes but I couldn't get it started." The valet repeated, still looking embarrassed.

 

"I'm not - we're not married." Louis gestured between Harry and himself, a little flustered by the realization that the valet had addressed him by 'Mr. Styles'.

 

"Why did your car not start?" Harry asked Louis, obviously more interested in that part rather than the fact that the valet thought they were married.

 

"I... Sorry." The valet stared down at his feet, unable to meet Louis' perplexed gaze.

 

"It's fine. I guess. We'll just go to the car. Can you show us where she's parked?"

 

"Sure." He said and started walking towards the parking lot with the two boys following him.

 

"Don't worry, Harry. She's just difficult sometimes is all." Louis took his hand and squeezed it tightly.

 

"Why is that really not reassuring?"

 

"Because you're a worry-wart."

 

They got to his car, stuck between two cars he'd never thought people could actually afford to buy and drive around for fun. Well if it hadn't been obvious that Louis was out of place, it was now.

 

"Here you are. I'll be at the entrance if you need anything else." The valet quickly disappeared between cars, quick to get away from the duo.

 

"Just give me a minute and I'll get her started." Louis slipped into the driver’s seat and put in his key, turning it several times and receiving a short revving sound followed by silence. Out of the windshield he could spot Harry standing in front of the car, arms crossed over his chest and looking unimpressed. Louis tried again and again, eventually giving up. He pulled out the key and stepped out of the car, leaning against the open door and smiling guiltily in Harry's direction.

 

"Nothing?" Harry walked over to him, the car door separating the two of them.

 

"Nada. Think she needs a rest."

 

"I think she needs a doctor." Harry sighed, "You had gas in the car, right?"

 

"Of course. I'm not that stupid." Louis scoffed, offended by the suggestion. He did have to think about it for a second though, but he wasn't going to admit that to Harry. He'd put gas the day before so that wasn't the issue.

 

"Any lights on in the dash?"

 

"Um... The engine light. But that's been on since I got the car two years ago. There was also the genie lamp." He was pretty sure those were the only two lights on the dashboard - which he'd noticed at least.

 

"The genie lamp?" Harry repeated, frowning as he pondered on what that could represent.

 

"Yeah, it looks like a little genie lamp. Like from ' _Aladdin_ '."

 

"Oh my God." Now Harry looked at him like he was stupid, and he really didn't appreciate that, then he pressed his forehead against the top of the car door in clear exasperation. "That's the oil light."

 

"The what?"

 

"How long has that light been on in the car?"

 

"A couple weeks, I think?" Louis tried to think back to the first time he'd noticed it, but it had been a little while now. He wasn't sure what it meant, but with Harry's reaction he was assuming it wasn't good.

 

Harry lifted his head and stared at him for a long moment, quiet and contemplating. As much as he wanted to reprimand Louis for being an idiot, he couldn't really fault him either. He was young and probably simply didn't know better. His dad most likely did the work on his car without ever having bothered to teach him how to do it himself, which clearly backfired. Harry simply shook his head and explained it to Louis.

 

"It's the oil light. Every few months you need to change the oil in your car. Your dad probably did that whenever you went up to Donny. You can do it yourself or at a garage, but if you don't it's really bad for the car. The light means you're low in oil."

 

"Oh. Okay." He remembered his dad mentioning that he was changing the oil, but Louis never cared for the details and his dad never pushed him to listen or learn. "Can we just put more oil then? Is that why the car won't start?"

 

"That light only comes on when you're super low in oil. It's one of the really bad lights to see. Since it's been two weeks, the oil's probably run out completely and chances are the engine is shot."

 

"What does that mean?" He didn't like where this was going.

 

"It means we need to call a tow truck."

 

"Fucking shit." Louis sighed heavily, fingers tapping on the hood of the car restlessly.

 

"It'll be fine." Harry placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for a short kiss, "We'll figure this out. I'll find a number." He pulled out his phone and started searching for the nearest towing company and garage.

 

Louis moved aside and closed the car door. He went to the front of the car and sat on the hood, listening as Harry found a number and gave them a call, giving them their coordinates and closing the call shortly thereafter. Harry went to sit next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

 

"I'm such an idiot. I should have known that. For fuck's sake!"

 

Harry kissed his temple and held him tightly, "You can't know what you haven't learnt. At least now you know for the future, right?"

 

"I guess."

 

Ten minutes or so later a tow truck arrived and it carted the car and the two boys over to a garage a few blocks away. They stayed mostly quiet, Louis embarrassed but mostly angry with himself, and Harry sensing that Louis wouldn't really appreciate any conversation quite yet. Once at the garage they made their way to the front desk. There was a middle aged man surrounded by paperwork staring at them, a brief flicker of recognition in his eyes.

 

"Hello there, how may I help you?"

 

"My car was just brought in." Louis provided the man his car details and he nodded.

 

"Yes, I see. We'll only be able to take a look at it tomorrow, we've got a few things already lined up for today. Is that alright?"

 

"I guess." Louis said, knowing he didn't really have a choice in the matter.

 

"So what was going on with the car? Any details are appreciated."

 

Harry explained their situation while the clerk took down the details. Louis grew bored and started zoning out, going to the corner where there was a pile of magazines and he started riffling through them. After a couple minutes Harry stepped over to him, tickling the back of his neck to gain his attention.

 

Louis swatted his hand away and pouted at him, "Meanie."

 

"We're good to go." Harry told him, placing a hand at his waist and guiding them out of the garage.

 

Louis hesitated in following him, "Wait, don't I have to give him my number or something?"

 

"All good, babe. Gave him mine since you'll probably be in class by the time they get around to calling. They won't know anything until they look at the car, so there's nothing to do until at least tomorrow."

 

"Oh, okay, I guess." Louis agreed tentatively. He felt like it was too easy, but figured Harry was right. There was nothing more for the moment. He was mostly just worried about the cost. If he'd really fucked up the engine, that was going to be one hefty bill he wasn't sure he was willing to make. Maybe he'd have to go without a car for a while instead.

 

"I got us a cab. How about we order in tonight? We can skip the grocery shopping for today and I'll make fajitas the next time you're over."

 

"Still have to stop at mine though." Louis reminded him.

 

There was a cab waiting outside the garage for them and they got into the backseat. Harry gave the driver Louis' address and the cab slipped onto the road to make its way there. It was a fifteen minute drive and then the car stopped in front of Louis' apartment building. Harry paid the driver and they stepped out of the car and made their way inside.

 

"This is shit." Louis said once inside his apartment.

 

They took their shoes off and walked in, stepping over the stuff on the floor. Harry picked up a few things and placed them aside, but gave up after clearing a foot of space in the hall. It wasn't worth it.

 

"I'm sure they'll be able to fix it up soon enough." Harry sat on the sofa and watched Louis pick up book after book, checking the title before either putting it back wherever he'd found it or keeping it in his arms.

 

"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm more worried about the fact that if the issue is the engine there's no way I can afford to get that fixed. I guess if it'll cost too much to repair I can sell it for parts, or whatever, but it still sucks." Louis grabbed his backpack and started shoving in some books. The matter was disheartening since he'd had a lot of faith in his car, but shit happened sometimes and he knew that well.

 

"I see."

 

"Gonna grab some clothes." Louis told him, stepping down a hall. Harry followed out of interest and disinterest in staying in the cluttered living room.

 

It took Louis a second to shove open his bedroom door, making Harry cringe at the mere thought of the mess that was definitely behind there. Louis stepped inside first and Harry paused at the doorway. He took a deep breath and passed through the threshold.

 

It was... worse than he'd thought. Louis didn't seem to have bothered with any furniture. Like, at all. Harry wasn't sure if it was because he couldn't afford furniture, or because he wouldn't use it anyways. There was a mattress on the floor with blankets strewn about it, and a small two drawer side table next to it with a glass of water and some papers on it. There was a closet in the corner, but Harry assumed there wasn't actually any clothes in it as there was literally every single article of clothing imaginable on the floor.

 

Clothes, books, papers, a football, several pairs of shoes, and other not quite identifiable things were on his floor. Harry couldn't say for certain if it was hardwood or if there was a carpet. He was pretty sure he was having heart palpitations.

 

He cautiously walked up to the mattress, staring down at it. "Why is your bed just a mattress?"

 

Louis shook his head from where he was picking up some clothes off the floor and placing them in his bag. Not everybody was a neat freak. (Maybe he could learn to tidy a bit, but he had more important things to do). "When I moved to London I only had my car. I filled it with whatever was important and the rest, well, it's still in Doncaster. I haven't bothered buying anything since there are more important things I need to buy." He explained.

 

Harry sat on the mattress and moved to lay down on it, feeling the cushiony material. It was comfy at least, but he understood why Louis preferred his pillows.

 

Louis emptied his pockets, simply containing his phone and wallet, and started getting changed into something more comfortable. He'd tried to dress nice for the exhibit. With the way it had turned out he shouldn't have bothered.

 

"I think today could have gone better." Louis stated, pulling off his shirt and looking around for a clean one. He picked up the flannel Harry had given him a couple weeks prior to wear on their first 'date'. It would do.

 

"It's only half past three, we still have time to make it a good day." Harry grabbed Louis' phone and clicked it on. Seeing that it had a password placed it aside and reached for his wallet instead. He stared at his I.D's for a moment, taking in the pictures of a slightly younger Louis. "I like your driver’s license picture. You look like such a baby in it."

 

"Piss off."

 

Harry noticed the edge of something peeking out of the main pocket and tugged it out, finding a condom packet. He stared at it a moment. "This isn't even my size. Is there something you need to tell me?" He teased, waving the condom in the air to get Louis' attention.

 

Louis rolled his eyes, "That's been in there forever, dummy. Grab the right size from that drawer there. The one on top." He pointed to his side table.

 

"Excuses!" Louis ignored him and continued to get dressed, seeming to be struggling in finding a pair of pants he wanted to wear.

 

Harry sat up and opened the drawer, not too surprised to find it cluttered. Quite surprised by what was cluttering it though. He reached a hand inside, moving around the contents of the drawer. This was almost as weird to look at as the vagina artworks. Almost.

 

"Any particular reason you have this many condoms?" Harry grabbed a handful and brought his hand in the air, letting the packets slip between his fingers to land back in the drawer.

 

The drawer was practically full, its only contents dozens upon dozens of condoms and one bottle of lube in the far corner.

 

Harry turned to Louis, spotting his red cheeks.

 

"It's not what you think, I swear." Louis said defensively.

 

"So I'm not dating a nympho?"

 

Louis groaned, "No! My mum sends them to me. She's a nurse and gets a lot of them for free and for some reason she's under the impression that I have a lot of sex."

 

"'For some reason', huh?" Harry hummed softly, soaking in the glare Louis was sending his way. He made a kissy face and turned back to the drawer. He looked at the different condoms, quite fascinated with how many different ones there were. There were loads of colours and textures and things he didn't know mattered. Why would anybody need, or want, a neon green condom? He placed that one in Louis' wallet and continued riffling through the rest while he waited for him to be ready to leave.

 

"Alright, alright, I'm good to go. Can you please stop looking at that? Did you at least bother to put a proper one in my wallet?"

 

Harry closed the drawer and straightened up, briefly leaning down to grab Louis' phone, and handed him both items he'd previously thrown on the bed. "It's all good. I'll text for a pick up. Got all your homework?"

 

"Yup." They carefully stepped out of the bedroom and returned to the living room to wait for their cab.

 

"And your books for your classes tomorrow?"

 

"Yes, mum." Louis rolled his eyes, throwing down his bag and sitting down on the worn out sofa while Harry made arrangements for them to be picked up.

 

Harry sat next to him, putting away his phone once he was finished, "Five minutes. What do you think we can do in five minutes?" He started kissing along Louis' jawline, going wherever he could reach.

 

"For an old man you sure have quite the sex drive." Louis teased. Despite his words, he didn't move away from the insistent lips.

 

"M'not old." Harry denied. He placed a hand on Louis' inner thigh, warm and suggestive. Louis shifted a bit, but did nothing further.

 

"You're super old. You should be an attraction in the next Jurassic Park movie."

 

"Ouch!" Harry brought a hand to his heart, feigning hurt, "How will I ever recover from such a blow!"

 

Louis simply shook his head and leaned against Harry, letting his head rest on his shoulder.

 

They were in silence for approximately two seconds before Louis spoke up.

 

"Why did the valet think we were married?"

 

"What?"

 

"Why would anyone be under the impression that we're married? Do we act married or something?"

 

"I don't know. Why does it bother you so much?" Harry said, a little too defensively.

 

Louis sat up, looking at Harry curiously, "It doesn't bother me. I just think that if other people assume we're that serious, won't it be harder for us to do the whole break-up thing whenever it's time for that?"

 

"Ah." Harry's expression stayed neutral, "I guess. But it was only one guy, I don't think it's anything to worry about."

 

"Okay." Louis agreed softly. He threw his legs over Harry's, poking his stomach until he earned a laugh. Harry obviously had something on his mind about the topic, but Louis knew he'd say something if it was actually important. Instead, he did what he did best and shifted the atmosphere back into something fun and soft.

 

Harry leaned down and pressed their lips together, and they wound up kissing until there was a low beep from Harry's pocket.

 

"That's the car. Sure you have everything?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Louis detangled himself from Harry, not quite sure how they got like that, and let Harry grab his hand and help him stand. Harry bent down and picked up his backpack and they both slowly made their way outside the apartment, miraculously not tripping over anything. Outside there was a fancy car waiting for them, as seemed to be Harry's preferred mode of transportation.

 

They got in the car and Harry told the driver to take them to his place. Afterwards, he pulled out his phone, letting Louis know he was going to see if there was anything about their afternoon out. Louis wouldn't be too upset if there wasn't anything.

 

It hadn't exactly been the best date he'd ever had.

 

"Loved up."

 

Louis turned his gaze from the window to Harry, whom was smiling proudly, "What?"

 

"We looked loved up." He said smugly, showing Louis his phone.

 

Louis grabbed it and skimmed over the message and the picture, seeing that it was from when they were inside the exhibit. They were clearly wrapped into each other, heads close together, but the angle not quite good enough to catch their faces. The artwork in the background was conveniently blurred out.

 

"I guess they don't realize we're laughing at the thing they blurred behind us." Louis pointed to the little blurry spot in the picture, and Harry laughed loudly.

 

"I hadn't even caught that! Hey, maybe we're not the only ones who have dirty minds, huh?"

 

"Guess so." Louis handed him his phone, amused. He hadn't caught anyone taking their picture, but at the time he'd guessed that if anyone was looking at them they'd assume they were simply handsy, and he enjoyed being right.

 

"Do you know what you want for dinner? I'm thinking Chinese." Harry asked as the driver parked in front of his home.

 

"I don't know. Seems early to be thinking about dinner." They stepped into the house, Harry placing Louis' backpack on a counter and placing his things away properly. Louis left his shoes next to the door, ignoring the look Harry sent his way.

 

"Since you insist, I can definitely think of other ways to spend our time until you're ready for food." Harry smirked, hands reaching for Louis' hips.

 

"What is up with you today? You've been super horny all day." Louis stepped into Harry's arms, placing his hands on his chest and letting his mind wander to different possibilities.

 

"You do things to a man, Mr. Styles." Harry said, smirk quickly changed into a pained grimace.

 

Louis smacked him in the crotch, but gave a firm nod at his own decision, "I want to suck your dick."

 

Harry stared at him speechless for a moment, then hurriedly nodded, "Yeah, I - Yeah. Sounds good to me." He grabbed Louis' hand and started dragging him to the bedroom, Louis laughing the whole way at his eagerness.

 

Harry blindly flipped on the light and didn't bother closing the door, going straight for the bed. Once standing next to the bed he turned to Louis and kissed him deeply, mouth hot and insistent, hands grabby and firm on his bum. Louis pulled back, almost already short of breath, and gave him a gentle shove, the back of his knees hitting the bed. He fell back onto the mattress with an 'oof'

 

Louis climbed on top of him, going back in for a kiss while his hands tugged not so carefully at Harry's blazer. Harry pushed himself up enough for Louis to pull it off him one sleeve at a time, their lips not parting if they didn't need to. He tugged off his shirt next, throwing it off to the side - Harry's eyes followed its path, a brief thought of mess crossing his mind, but Louis was soon nipping at his jaw and his attention was brought back to where it was wanted.

 

"Lou, fuck, c'mon." Harry rocked his hips against Louis', a breathy moan his response.

 

Louis fumbled with Harry's belt for a moment, hands shaky with desire, but he got it open and started tugging his pants down. Louis stood back up and gestured for Harry to move up the bed into a better position. He did so, leaving his slacks halfway down his thighs for Louis to finish tugging off once his head landed on the pillow. Those were also thrown on the floor with his briefs, leaving him fully nude on the bed.

 

His fingertips met warm skin as he placed open mouthed kisses down Harry's chest, moving slowly downwards. He looked up to catch Harry's half-lidded gaze, feeling his heart skip a beat as Harry licked his lips in what seemed to be a subconscious gesture. Louis bit at the gentle flesh under his belly button, lips right next to where Harry's cock was pressing against his tummy, hard and leaking in anticipation.

 

Harry gripped the edges of the pillow under his head, trying desperately not to buck his hips, but failing quite badly. Louis kept one hand on his stomach to keep him from moving, and the other wrapped around his dick, grip far too gentle for Harry's liking. He gave it one squeeze and then pulled back, smiling almost shyly at the look of confusion on Harry's face.

 

"I, um... Just a sec." Louis pulled out his wallet and tugged out the condom that Harry had put in there earlier that afternoon. "Need this." He said, throwing his wallet on the floor and busying himself with opening the packet.

 

"You use condoms for blowies?" Harry asked. He didn't sound judging, but Louis still felt embarrassed.

 

He'd never let anyone pressure him to do it otherwise, but that didn't mean he hadn't heard several... unflattering comments on the matter.

 

"Yeah." He held the opened condom packet and stared down at it, refusing to look at Harry, "Do you still want... Um..." He'd been told not to bother before, he couldn't say he'd be surprised if Harry changed his mind on it. Apparently some guys thought it made a huge difference.

 

"Of course. It's up to you, innit?" Harry shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, "No smart man would say no to a blowie from you."

 

Louis giggled, placing a hand over his mouth to hide it, "You don't even know if I'm any good." With a more confident smile on his lips, he placed the condom on the tip and sunk down on it with his mouth, using his lips to roll it into place. Maybe he'd gotten some complaints, but at least he'd bothered to learn how to make it a little more fun.

 

"Holy shit that's hot." Harry gasped.

 

Louis kept his gaze on him, making sure he was being watched. He was a sucker for attention, especially during sex. Even more so when he was pleasing his partner. As he pulled off for a breath, he caught a quick glimpse of the condom and burst out laughing, placing his forehead on Harry's thigh to hide his face.

 

After a second to catch his breath, he looked up at Harry, "Really, Harold? Of all the condoms in that drawer you grabbed the flashy green one?"

 

Harry chuckled softly, a little more interested in having Louis continue than talk about the condom, "Well, ya' know. They'll all be used eventually, right?"

 

Louis rolled his eyes, "You wish."

 

He placed his lips around the head of his cock, slowly moving his lips down, letting his spit slick up the rubber for a smoother glide. With his eyes on Harry's face, he bobbed his head up and down, gauging his reaction to see what he liked best. He had to keep one hand on Harry's hip, as he was pretty shit at keeping still, but the other was wrapped around the base and squeezing and stroking what his mouth couldn't quite reach.

 

He moved that hand down to his balls, rolling them in his hand and testing how much he liked them played with. By the loud groan at a tight squeeze he knew Harry enjoyed it, and doubled his efforts to keep his mouth moving, moaning and sucking as best as he knew how, and his hand stroking and squeezing.

 

It was hard not to press his own hips into the mattress, feeling the front of his boxers growing wet from his hardened cock, pressure building as he listened to Harry moan and gasp out his name and his dick warm, thick, and hard in his mouth. Yet he refrained, wanting to focus on pleasing Harry first.

 

"Lou, Louis, please. I'm close." Harry placed a hand in his hair, a gesture to let him know to pull back if he wanted to. Luckily, with a condom, Louis never had to bother to think or care about that, and he simply swatted his hand away and kept at his ministrations.

 

Harry bucked up with one last groan and a call of his name. Louis felt him cum, and he brought his hand back to his dick, stroking him through it. He pulled away once he felt Harry was getting sensitive. He pulled back with a 'pop', smiling proudly.

 

"You alright there, pumpkin?"

 

Harry was flushed, head thrown back on the pillow with sweat on his brow and his neck, breath coming in short puffs. His eyes were closed, but when Louis spoke he forced them open and stared back at him. He gave a soft smile, sated.

 

"I'm awesome." Harry made some grabby hands, and as much as Louis was tempted to fall into them, he took a second to remove the condom first. He placed it on the side table, and then crawled into Harry's awaiting embrace. He shifted uncomfortably, pants still tight and damp at the front. "I think you need a hand there, don't you?" Harry teased, hands pressed flat against Louis' lower back, the tips of his fingers reaching beneath the hem of his pants.

 

Harry moved Louis onto his back, keeping himself balanced on his side with one elbow on the mattress, the other moving to the top of his boxers. Louis let out a shaky breath, nodding quickly.

 

"Yeah."

 

Harry slipped his hand between Louis' sweatpants and his boxers, palming softly at his clothed cock. Louis, ever impatient, placed his hand on the top of his pants and Harry's hand, pushing down to gain more pressure. He planted his feet down and moved his hips up, working the friction into something a little more to his liking.

 

"Are you sure you need my help? I could leave you alone if you want." Harry said.

 

Louis turned his head to glare at him, "If you don't get a move on, I _will_ do this on my own."

 

"Alright, alright." Harry pulled his hand back and moved on top of Louis. He unbuttoned his shirt, moving it to the side, but not removing it. "You look sexy in my clothes."

 

"Oh? Maybe I should make it a habit then."

 

Harry chuckled softly and pressed on, knowing - or feeling - how badly Louis wanted him to do so. He tugged off his pants and boxers, and he placed them next to the bed. He laid down between his legs, moving them over his shoulders and kissing the inside of his thighs. He sucked and bit, leaving red spots behind.

 

Louis crossed his ankles on his back, trying to pull him closer, "Don't be a tease, you arse." He groaned, one hand on the headboard and the other on the sheets in a white-knuckled grip. But before he could get his mouth on him, Louis piped up, "You-you can use a condom too, if you want."

 

"It's cool." Harry shrugged and moved up, face at his crotch now that he felt satisfied with the hickeys he'd left behind.

 

Louis watched as he took his dick in hand and licked the tip, precum gathering on his tongue. He shivered at the feeling, already overwhelmed. He felt like he'd been turned on for so long that he could cum at any moment, but he was trying to hold off as long as he could. In one swift motion Harry licked the underside from the base to the tip and then took him completely. He had to look away to contain himself.

 

It was wet and warm and addictive. There was spit dripping down onto the bottom of his tummy and on his balls, and that should be more gross than hot, but it wasn't. Harry was enthusiastic to say the least, Louis not quite sure if he was taking a breath at all.

 

"Ha-Harry, please." He begged, warmth slowly pooling at the bottom of his stomach, toes curling and heels pressing into Harry's back. He felt Harry's nails digging into his thighs and there was a touch of a wet fingertip at his backside. Only knowing that it was Harry, knowledgeable and gentle, kept him from flinching away.

 

They only had spit, but he trusted Harry and knew he wouldn't do more than what spit could be good for.

 

Harry kept his finger at his entrance for a brief moment, silently questioning if it was wanted or not, but he slowly pressed in when Louis didn't move away.

 

Somehow it was the mix of Harry's mouth and being filled, even if it was only one spit soaked finger, which pushed him over the edge.

 

He reached down and tugged at Harry's hair, gasping out, "I'm-I'm..." He didn't finish, coming down Harry's throat and his thighs tightening though he tried to suppress it. Harry swallowed around him, waiting for Louis to move his legs to pull away. He wiped at the trail of saliva that followed and then rubbed at his ears, a little bloodless with how tightly Louis' thighs had been squeezing his head.

 

Louis felt boneless, the orgasm having left him calm and content. He reached for Harry, cupping his cheeks and stroking his thumbs over his ears, "Sorry, didn't mean to do that. You alright?" His voice was soft, hardly audible in the now quiet bedroom.

 

"Gotta admit, being trapped between your thighs isn't all that bad. Have I ever told you they're-"

 

"Like milkshakes? Yeah, you've mentioned that before." Louis laughed.

 

Harry moved up and laid on top of Louis, whom let out a surprised gasp, but shifted to be comfortable under his weight. He placed his head in the crook of Louis' neck and smiled contentedly.

 

"We should do that more often."

 

Louis shook his head, an affectionate smile toying at the edge of his lips, "Maybe we should actually have sex at a decent time. But I will admit, I am kind of hungry now." Louis tugged back the sleeves of the flannel, feeling too hot and sweaty, not aided with Harry's natural too-warm body so closely pressed against his own. He could tell him to move, but... He chose not to.

 

"Chinese?" Harry kissed at the underside of his throat, slowly pushing himself up to reach his cheeks and his mouth, but Louis turned away, "Chicken balls." He sang, face still flushed and eyes sparkling with amusement.

 

"No kissing! You literally just had my dick in your mouth. No!" Louis giggled as Harry pressed kisses all over his face and he tried to move away. Harry succeeded in pressing their lips together, but kept his mouth closed respectfully.

 

"Just to let you know though, like I get that it's your choice and all that, and if it's what you want then I'm totally cool with that, but I am actually clean. I can get you one of those clinic papers if you need proof, since I know with my supposed history it may be hard to believe. I wouldn't lie to you, though." Harry mumbled, a little shy, but insistent that Louis believe him.

 

Louis looked away, "That's not why - I believe you, Harry. I know you wouldn't lie to me, especially not about something like that. You know, like I said, mum's a nurse and she's big on safe sex. That's all, just... Ingrained in my brain." He shrugged, hoping Harry would drop it at that.

 

"Cool." Harry blew a raspberry on Louis' cheek to make him giggle again, "Food." He moaned, poking Louis' stomach. "Food!"

 

"Homework." Louis moaned in the same stretched-out manner, "Mr. Gentleman, I need my backpack that you so kindly left on the other side of the house. Feel like getting up to get it?" He smiled brightly at Harry, battling his eyelashes in what he hoped was a seductive manner.

 

"Alright. Wouldn't want to be less than a proper gentleman, right?"

 

Louis hummed in agreement. He watched fondly as Harry got out of bed and stepped out of the bedroom, not bothering to put on any clothing. Louis wished he could be that confident.

 

He shifted around on the bed, messing up the already kind of mussed up covers and pillows until he was comfortable and ready to do his homework. He covered himself with the top blanket, placed a pillow under his stomach, and kicked his feet in the air impatiently while he waited for Harry to return. Once he did, he took out his books and papers, starting up on his homework. Harry settled down too, using Louis' bum as his pillow and taking out his phone to entertain himself.

 

He played some videos that Louis listened to but hardly heard, humming along as he worked on his homework. Harry eventually stole one of his blank pages and a pen to work on some song writing, also settling himself down with something that would take up his time until Louis was ready to do something else.

 

They were there for hours, food almost forgotten until late in the evening.

 

Louis knew this was what his mother had always wanted for him, finding a middle ground between having a boy in his life but focusing on the important things like his schoolwork and his job. He'd always been shit at it before, but Harry didn't pressure him for more time with him, and even pushed him to study if he knew he had a test coming up.

 

It was domestic, and what he'd always thought an adult relationship would be like. What a real relationship was.

 

He'd be terrified if he wasn't so happy.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"You were right. I didn't think it'd be this hard."

 

"Oh, sweetie..."

 

"It's not even Harry, you know? He's... lovely. He's perfect. I just don't know if I can get used to weirdos coming up to me asking for pictures or comments. They have no sense of privacy, and I can't say anything back without making Harry look bad. I've seen some of the things they say about me, about Harry, about both of us, and it's driving me mad. I'm trying so hard not to fuck things up for him, but it's so hard."

 

"Maybe you can say something to them? I'm sure Harry wouldn't be upset if you defended yourself."

 

"He doesn't know how bad it is. I know he'd encourage me to defend myself if he knew, but I know what that would do to him and I can't do that. What we've done so far has helped him loads, and I'm not messing that up. But I've been spending a lot of time at Harry's, and the paps don't go there at least. He got a restraining order against them years ago, so they're not allowed on his property. It helps keep me sane when I want to punch them in the throat."

 

"I thought you and Harry were only spending time together in public, you know, for his image and stuff."

 

"It's... Kind of complicated? We're friends and I like spending time with him."

 

"And you sleep together."

 

"Mum! Okay, maybe. We get along, alright?"

 

"Hm."

 

"We're safe, promise. And I told you there's no drugs involved."

 

"That's not what I'm worried about, honey."

 

"Then what is it?"

 

"Well... Are you sure it's a good idea to be getting so intimate with him? If you've both agreed that it's not a real relationship, then maybe you shouldn't do anything that might get you attached."

 

"But I like-"

 

"It's your choice, poppet, I'm only trying to show you a different side of things."

 

"I... I really like him, mum. If things were different... But they're not. Maybe you're right. This was an agreement, and I should be keeping this professional. Yeah, you're definitely right."

 

"If it makes you happy, you have the right to continue as you please. Just try to think about the future, okay? You've agreed to an ending, maybe that's what you should focus on."

 

"Yeah... I gotta go, mum. I have to get back to class. I'll talk to you soon."

 

"Okay, sweetheart. I love you."

 

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a bunch for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for the lovely comments and feel free to leave me a message letting me know what you think of the story so far and this chapter :) Thanks a bunch!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I wasn't able to put this chappie out on Friday, my puppy had a vet emergency. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

(From: Harry 10:58 a.m)

I heard back from the garage. Want to come by between classes and we can talk about it?

 

(From: Louis 11:04 a.m)

Alright, I just finished. I'll be there in ten minutes.

 

(From: Harry 11:05 a.m)

See you soon x.

 

**OoOoO**

 

Louis was scared, if he was totally honest. The idea of having to either shovel out loads of cash to fix up his car, or have no choice but to sell it incredibly upsetting to him. Not only because it was his first car and his baby, but because he heavily depended on it. Chances were that if it had been good news Harry would have simply texted it to him instead of wanting to tell him in person.

 

The gate was already open when he got there, and the cab drove him to the front entrance. He paid the driver and stepped out with his school bag, knocking on the front door only to be told to enter.

 

"Hey babe! Can you close the gate, please?" Harry said once he set foot in the house.

 

"Yeah." He called back, kicking off his shoes and punching in the code on the little keypad on the wall near the front door. He'd quickly learnt it by heart with how many times he'd needed to make use of it. He was also learning the layout of the house, pretty certain that Harry's voice had been coming from the kitchen.

 

He went in that direction, the smell of coffee, tea, and homemade biscuits in the air. That was one thing he wasn't sure he could ever live without again. Harry's homemade biscuits.

 

There was a mug and a small plate waiting for him at the island, and he sat on his preferred stool. Harry had his back to him, fixing himself a cup of coffee before sitting next to Louis at the island. He gave him a peck on the cheek and a smile.

 

"How was your day?" He asked.

 

Since when had that gotten natural? His mum had been right. They weren't in a real relationship, there was no need for them to be intimate in private. If anything, it was probably a bad idea. They'd have to talk about setting up boundaries, but first he needed to know about his car.

 

"Skip the chit chat, Hazza. What's wrong with my car?"

 

Harry licked his lips and stared at his hands wrapped around his own mug (designed with little ceramic three-dimensional fruit).

 

"It's pretty much what I thought. The engine is shot. They need to change it along with some other parts in the hood. I only know the basics, so unfortunately a lot of it did go right over my head, but what I did understand was that there's quite a bit of work to get done. It'll take a few days. Probably at least a week."

 

Louis pushed aside his cat mug and his biscuit plate, placing his head down on the table and sighing, "Fuck." From the corner of his eye he spotted Harry grabbing a set of keys that were left on the counter. It was odd for Harry to leave anything on the counter, at least not without a purpose.

 

"You can take these until then." Harry placed them in front of Louis' face, eyes following his movements.

 

"What?" He asked, confused.

 

"They're for the Rover. This is for the car itself, the garage door to get into the house, and the front door since I figured you may as well have a key to get in the house. Inside the car there's a remote for the garage door and the gate outside. I can show you how it works, but it's not too complicated." Harry pointed to the three different keys on the ring, one clearly a car key, the other two simple house keys.

 

Louis lifted his head from his arms and frowned at him, still not understanding, "What?"

 

"I'm lending you my car until yours gets fixed." He explained, "It's in the second garage, by the way."

 

"I'm not borrowing your car, Harry. To be honest, I'm probably not even going to fix the car. It's gonna cost a fortune and I can't afford it. I'll be fine without a car for a while." Louis pushed aside the keys, but gave Harry a gentle pat on the arm, "Thank you, though. It's sweet of you to offer."

 

Yet, Harry seemed to look... guilty, almost. Which had Louis drawing back, looking at him accusingly, "What is it? What did you do?"

 

Harry turned to him, arms gesturing wildly, "Don't be mad! I-"

 

"That's not the way to start any sentence, Harold!" Louis snapped, and Harry sighed.

 

"I know, but don't be, okay? They're already fixing your car."

 

"I'm pretty sure they need my permission to do that."

 

"Well, since I'm the one that registered your car at the garage and I signed all the papers, technically my permission was enough."

 

Louis gazed at him, trying to keep his gaze neutral, but quite positive he was failing abysmally, "And why would you tell them they could go ahead and fix it without talking to me first? Harry, I looked up how much it could cost, and I really can't afford that. There's nothing I can do that could get me enough money to pay that in the next week. What were you thinking?" He was trying not to be angry mostly because he knew Harry's intentions were good, but it didn't help that he couldn't understand his reasoning.

 

"I'm paying for it." Harry said quickly, meeting Louis' gaze with false bravado.

 

"Excuse me?" Louis' voice was low and threatening. Harry couldn't keep their eyes locked.

 

"I'm taking care of it. You won't need to pay anything. Next week, hopefully, you'll have your car back and it'll be like brand new." Harry stood up and walked over to his coffee maker, busying his hands so he wouldn't need to look at Louis.

 

"Call them now and tell them you've changed your mind."

 

"I can't."

 

"What do you mean you can't?" Louis went up to Harry, grabbing his arm and forcing him to turn and look at him.

 

"I already put a down payment and everything. It's done. So you can use my car until yours is ready next week." Harry kept his voice low to try and keep Louis from getting any angrier.

 

"Y-you can't just _do_ that, Harry!" Louis pulled a face as he felt his eyes burning. He turned from Harry and rubbed at them pointlessly. He wasn't going to cry. He really wasn't.

 

"Lou?" Harry wrapped an arm around his waist, stepping around him to be in front of him again. Louis stared down at the ground pointedly. "Are you..."

 

"I'm not crying. Shut up!" He wiped at the tears that slipped out, frustrated with himself. Harry took his face in his hands and kissed his forehead, guiding his face up until their eyes met.

 

"Okay, um... Okay, so what about this is upsetting to you?"

 

"M'not upset." Louis denied.

 

"No lying, right?" Harry reminded him and Louis sighed softly.

 

"I don't... I don't want to be what they say I am." He muttered, taking a step forward into Harry's arms, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. The smell of Harry's stupid fancy French cologne calmed him down, reminding him that it was Harry and there was no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

 

"Oh." Harry rubbed his back gently, catching on to what Louis was thinking, "I thought you said you weren't looking at that stuff?"

 

Louis shrugged, "Hard not to when it's everywhere."

 

Harry let out a soft sigh, understanding the difficulties of ignoring the comments, or simply not coming across them entirely. "I've been with my fair share of people who were only with me for specific reasons, money, drugs, fame, and I got pretty good at spotting those kind of people. You're not like that, and I know that. I know it's hard, but you have to ignore those people, alright? This is our relationship and we're all that matters here."

 

Louis stepped back and frowned, "Isn't the point of this for them?" If Harry had also gotten a little lost in what they were, maybe they could get lost together?

 

"Of course! The point is for them to see this as real, right? The best way to do that is to not bother ourselves with their comments. The more they insult us, and the more they reach for stupid shit, the better it is. It means they can't find anything wrong with what they're seeing."

 

"I see." Maybe he needed to stop his wishful thinking. "I still... You shouldn't spend that kind of money on me. I told you at the start I don't want your money."

 

"You're doing me a solid by doing all this for me, and I'm simply returning the favour. I like doing this kind of stuff for people. So you see, it's purely selfish." Harry said with a firm nod.

 

"You're stupid." Louis got on his tiptoes and kissed his cheek, "Thank you, I-" He choked off, not managing to finish his sentence.

 

Harry reached to the side and grabbed the keyring again and held it out for Louis, "So, we're good?"

 

Louis went to take them, but hesitated, "I don't know. I think I'd rather just cab it or walk for the next week. What if something happens to it? I couldn't." Louis pushed his hand away, but Harry kept still.

 

"Lou, I've been in a car with you before. You drive like a grandpa. You'll be fine. And if anything happens, well, a car can be fixed."

 

"I drive safely." Louis stuck out his tongue and took the keys in hand. "I guess, if you're sure."

 

"Good, I'm glad we're settled then." Harry pulled him in and went to give him a kiss, but Louis stopped him with a finger to his lips.

 

"Ah! We're almost settled." He said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder and letting him be brought in close, but not giving in completely quite yet.

 

"What is it?" Harry asked gently, gaze moving from Louis' eyes to his lips, clearly decided on what he wanted.

 

Louis placed a hand under his chin to move his eyes up and held his gaze steadily, "Never - and I mean never - go behind my back like that again. If you want to do something like that, talk to me first. If you know I'll be upset, that's probably a good indication that there needs to be a conversation before you do anything."

 

"Oh. Okay. I can promise that." Harry nodded in agreement, "I'm sorry, I definitely should have spoken to you first."

 

"Good." Louis moved his hand away from his chin and slipped his fingers in Harry's hair, "Now you can kiss me."

 

And he did.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"Another one, please!" He placed the empty shot glass on the counter and the bartender smoothly refilled it for him.

 

He drank it down.

 

"Partying hard tonight, Tommo? Where's the boytoy?" One of his classmates said right next to his ear, speaking over the loud music.

 

"Piss off!" He shouted back, stepping away from him, but his friend followed.

 

"Trouble in paradise?"

 

"Harry and I are fine. Can't a man have a drink without getting the third degree? For fucks sake." Louis got a fresh beer from the bartender, taking a long sip from his glass.

 

He ignored his friend for the rest of the night, choosing to chat and mingle with others. Though there were eyes on him, whether recognizing him from articles about him and Harry, or someone looking for a hookup, he ignored them all. For once he didn't want to be looked at, just wanted to blend in and enjoy being amidst other human beings.

 

There was a part of him that reminded him that he'd only been going out because his friend had invited him, but he was using it as an excuse to think. Or he had meant to.

 

A couple drinks in and all he could think about was Harry. How he wanted a cuddle and a kiss, maybe to get naked a little bit. Or a lot. He was wondering what he was doing, how he was, if he was missing him too.

 

Tripping over himself, he slung an arm around his friend and slurred in his ear, "I'm gonna head out. See you at school, yeah?"

 

"Already? It's not even late!" His friend shouted back, but Louis shrugged.

 

"I miss my boy." Louis admitted. "Wanna go home. Was nice hanging out though."

 

"Yeah, yeah, go on loverboy. There's loads of cabs on the street, take your pick."

 

Louis hummed in agreement and left his friends, slipping out of the club and into the cool London air. He'd been in there for a couple hours, but it still wasn't particularly late and there were several cabs roaming the area. There were always more on weekends near the pubs and clubs. He signaled one over and slipped inside clumsily, somehow managing to give the driver his address.

 

It was a ten minute ride there and he struggled to keep his eyes open, head lolling to the side with sleepiness. Eventually the car stopped and the driver turned to him.

 

"This is as far as I can go." He pointed to the gate in front of them.

 

Louis nodded, "S'okay. I got it from here." Louis handed over some cash and stepped out of the cab, barely keeping himself from face planting into the dirt.

 

He walked over to the little box and blinked until the numbers moved into focus, pressing them in order and hearing the gates opening up for him. He made his way to the front door and turned the knob, but found it locked. He tried several more times, figuring maybe it would have changed. But it didn't.

 

He pressed one shoulder against the door as he fiddled with his pockets, digging until he found the keyring Harry had passed him that morning. He'd taken the car to school, but he'd left it at home to go out. Yet he'd still grabbed the keys as a force of habit, now extremely glad he'd done so. The key slipped in and he unlocked the door.

 

This time when he turned the knob the door opened easily, and he knocked his foot into the step and almost tumbled right inside, but his hold on the doorknob kept him steady. He laughed at himself as he stepped into the house, closing the door behind himself.

 

Louis kicked off his shoes and dropped the keys. He made too much noise as he stumbled his way to the main bedroom, hand knocking into walls as he tried to keep himself standing. The door to the master bedroom was open when he got there, coming face to face with a wide-eyed, terrified, Harry Styles.

 

"Louis?" He asked, the bedroom light all he had to bring some light to the hallway.

 

"Hazza!" He shouted, taking the few steps between them and throwing himself into his arms.

 

Harry grabbed his arms and kept him steady as Louis latched onto him.

 

"Are you drunk?"

 

"Nah... Maybe. Dunno." Louis shrugged. He pressed their chests together, moving in for a kiss, but Harry turned away.

 

"Did you drive like this?"

 

"Nope." Louis tried to kiss him again, but Harry stepped back to put some distance between them.

 

"Good, okay. Um, how about-"

 

"Kiss me!" Louis pouted, tugging at Harry's hands. He didn't budge.

 

"No." Harry said firmly, "Let's put you to bed, alright? Come with me." Harry pulled Louis into the bedroom, and he followed eagerly, one hand in Harry's grip and the other tugging at his shirt.

 

Harry tried to put him in the bed, but Louis was quite adamant about not going alone.

 

"Harry, why won't you kiss me? Kiss me!" Harry got him sitting on the bed, but his hands were continuously pulling on his shirt or his arms, trying to get him to join him on the bed. "Please? Pretty please? I need you, Harry, I can't stop thinking about you. Want to touch you." His hands reached for his pants, but Harry grabbed them and moved them away.

 

After a bit of effort he managed to get him under the covers and laying down, "Tomorrow. I'll kiss you all you like tomorrow, but now you sleep, alright?"

 

"Promise?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Pinky promise?"

 

"Yes. Sleep now."

 

"Can't I have one kiss? Just one?"

 

"I... I can't. No, Louis. Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

 

"You won't sleep here?"

 

"No."

 

Harry made sure the covers were tight around him before heading out of the room. One last glance at Louis showed him turning over and reaching for Harry's pillow, bringing it into his arms to cuddle in lieu of Harry himself. Harry shook his head, closed the light, and left the bedroom.

 

In the guest room he fell asleep shaking and sweating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who've left comments and kudos, it really means a lot! Thank you for reading and have a good week!


	8. Chapter 8

Louis woke up with a headache and guilt. He knew immediately where he was by his comfy surroundings.

 

He sat up in bed and looked over at the empty side. He placed Harry's pillow in its place, rubbing a hand over the cold blanket where Harry should have spent the night.

 

With a reserved nod, one that unfortunately reminded him of the atrocious pain in his temples, he set about making everything right.

 

Harry was an early riser, yet there were no sounds in the house indicating that he was awake, and upon searching Louis found him wrapped up in blankets in the guest room. He closed the door with a sad sigh.

 

The first thing he did was make himself presentable. He went back to Harry's en-suite bathroom and took a nice shower and used the strawberry scented body wash to hopefully mask any scent of the club. He brushed his teeth with the toothbrush he'd brought over a couple days prior, not having bothered to bring it home as it was his spare.

 

He tried to air out the bedroom by opening up the windows and he threw the blankets and pillow cases in the washing machine hoping that the scent of alcohol would be cleaned off. Hopefully if Harry walked into the room he wouldn't be able to smell anything that shouldn't be there.

 

The next thing he did was pick up the things he'd left in the entrance, putting his keys on the hook next to the door and placing his shoes in the closet, something Harry always wanted him to do, but he never bothered, and closed the gate as he hadn't the night before and Harry hadn't known it needed to be done.

 

He felt cleaner already after fixing himself up (having stolen more of Harry's clothing), and putting everything back the way it was before he'd shown up.

 

As he started up the coffee maker, he planned different ways in which to grovel and beg for forgiveness, although he knew the second he saw Harry he'd spout out whatever nonsense his brain would conjure up. At least it kept him occupied through the pain in his head and his desire to vomit. He hadn't drunk enough to do so, but the nausea was unfortunately still there.

 

With a cup of coffee prepared the way Harry liked it in one hand and a bowl of cereal in the other, he made his way to the guestroom that Harry had slept in. A little more gracefully than he thought he was capable of, he successfully opened the door without dropping anything. He made his way to the side of the bed, placing the mug and the bowl on the side table.

 

He sat on the bed, moving the cover over his lap, and he bent forward and gently ran a hand through Harry's hair.

 

"Harry?" He called softly, trying to wake him without startling him.

 

There was a huff and Harry slowly opened his eyes, glancing up at him, "Lou?" He said, voice groggy with fatigue.

 

"Hiya, love." He shifted away enough for Harry to sit up.

 

He stared at Louis then at the items on the side table and quickly returned his confused gaze to Louis. "Hi." He was a bit tentative, and Louis didn't blame him.

 

"I'm sorry." He spat out, "I'm so sorry. I'm an arse. I obviously wasn't thinking properly last night, and I should never have come here in that state. I just wanted to see you, and I know that's no excuse. I've cleaned everything up, I put the bedding in the wash to hopefully clear up the smell of... And I've cleaned myself up, too." He blew a puff of air in Harry's face, to prove that even his breath was cleared of any traces of alcohol. Harry pulled a face, but Louis continued on.

 

"I made you coffee! Two creams, one sugar. I was going to make you breakfast in bed, but I thought burning down your house wouldn't be the best way to apologize, so... Cereal!" Louis pointed at the bowl of cocoa puffs proudly.

 

As he spoke Harry stared at him, face more neutral than Louis was used to it being. Harry didn't say anything yet, so he pressed on even further.

 

"I'm really sorry. I know how hard it's been for you and I go shoving it in your face, and I don't think I can properly apologize for it. All I know for sure is that I don't want to do that to you again. I don't want to make you so uncomfortable in your own home that you have to sleep in a different bedroom. I won't do that to you again, and I promise you that." Louis reached a hand out for Harry's, linking their pinkies together.

 

"I pinky promise that as long as we're together, I won't drink again. I'm going to be sober with you." Louis untangled their fingers, smiling proudly at his decision.

 

Harry sat up a bit straighter, sighing softly, "Listen, Louis, I don't need you to never drink, I only can't have it in the house. It's too difficult. If you drink when you're not here, that's fine."

 

Louis held up a finger to stop him, "Ah! Too late. We've already pinky promised, and you can't break a pinky promise Harold."

 

Harry stared down at his lap, a shy smile on his lips, "I... Okay, I guess. I just don't want you doing anything that you'll end up resenting me for. You know what I mean?"

 

"I do. But I won't." Louis leaned forward, wanting to kiss him finally, but stopped himself, "Um, is it okay if I... I get it if you're still mad, it was a really shitty thing to do, and-"

 

"It's okay. I forgive you. Come here." Harry sat up on his knees and wrapped his arms around Louis' neck, bringing him in close. He pressed their lips together, close mouthed and warm. Pulling away, he pressed their foreheads together, keeping his eyes closed. "Thank you. If you decide to change your mind, I won't be upset. But let's just... keep it out of the house."

 

"I won't change my mind. And thank you for forgiving me. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just say so."

 

Harry grabbed the mug Louis had brought for him and took a sip of the cooled-down coffee. "I think you've already made it up to me. This is great." He kissed Louis again, lips tinged with the taste of coffee.

 

Louis smiled happily, "Good. I was hoping I'd done it right."

 

Louis rolled over Harry and onto the other side of him, laying down on the bed. He wrapped an arm around his waist and buried his face in his hip, seeing him sip at the coffee from the corner of his eye. Eventually he moved on to the cereal, eating in the bed although he'd typically never do so.

 

"So we're good?" He mumbled a few minutes later, not sure if he was heard with his face pressed into Harry's side.

 

"We're good." Harry said through a mouthful of cocoa puffs.

 

Louis smiled and gripped him tighter.

 

That talk about boundaries would have to wait for another day.

 

**OoOoO**

 

(From: Louis 1:21 a.m)

What's a bae?

 

(From: Haz 1:23 a.m)

It's you, silly.

 

(From: Louis 1:23 a.m)

...

 

(From: Haz 1:24 a.m)

:)

 

...

 

(From: Haz 11:46 a.m)

If someone wanted to meet someone for lunch where would that someone need to go?

 

(From: Louis 11:48 a.m)

You're such a dork. Campus A. I'll meet you there by ten after.

 

(From: Haz 11:52 a.m)

That someone will try not to get lost.

 

(From: Louis 11:53 a.m)

There's a giant 'A' on the building, hard to miss. Recommend taking a cab because parking here is shit.

 

(From: Haz 11:53 a.m)

Ok, see you soon x.

 

**OoOoO**

 

Although Louis had packed himself a lunch from whatever remains he could find in his fridge, Harry insisted on getting them something from the school cafeteria. They took a seat near the window, getting many looks from the students in the area. Quite a number of students knew Louis, but many who didn't could recognize his face from articles and had known that he was dating ex-rockstar Harry Styles.

 

One girl came up for an autograph, blushing and excited, which seemed to start something as several more came up after (Louis laughing all the while at Harry's flustered expression), but it died down long enough for the two boys to get some quiet and start on their food.

 

"How was class?"

 

"Was kinda fun actually. We're working on communication, like how to talk to kids and stuff. Really interesting." Louis spoke through a mouthful of sandwich.

 

"That's nice. That you like it, I mean."

 

"Yeah, but gotta admit I'll be glad when it's over."

 

"Two more years, right?"

 

"Yup. How was your writing session this morning?"

 

Harry smiled brightly at the mention of his morning session, "It was great! They're really pushing me, you know? They want to know I'm serious and that I want this, and I think I'm proving myself. It's a bit slower than it should be, since my head feels so scattered and it's hard to gather my thoughts sometimes, but it's really helping. They're leaving next week for a month or so, so everything will be postponed for a bit, but it feels like I'm making progress at least."

 

"That's great, Harry."

 

They sat in comfortable silence as they continued eating their lunch, legs tangled beneath the table and gaze meeting every so often with soft smiles.

 

"Was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?" Louis asked, wiping his hands clean with a napkin and placing his empty wrapper to the side.

 

"What do you mean?" Harry took his own final bite, putting their trash in a pile to throw out later.

 

"You usually want to hang out for a reason." Louis explained. As much as he liked to believe that they were friends and maybe more, he knew what their relationship was to Harry and he tried not to confuse himself with silly hopes and ideals.

 

"Just wanted to hang out, is all." Harry said with a shrug.

 

Louis reached a hand across the table and took hold of Harry's hand, staying quiet. Harry eventually let out a sigh.

 

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about. I've been thinking about something all morning and I just didn't want to wait until later to talk about it."

 

"Mm." Louis hummed softly, "What's up, babycakes?"

 

Harry laughed, cheeks growing red - either shy or embarrassed, and rested his elbows on the table to lean forward, "During our writing session this morning I got to thinking about something, which I've kind of been thinking about for a bit now, but never really considered. I... I'd like to see about trying to reach out to my old bandmates. I think I'm ready."

 

"Really?" Louis gave his hand a squeeze, smile matching Harry's own bright one.

 

"Yes! I was thinking of trying to reach out to my mum, but I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that yet. But the boys, my boys, I think... Maybe... I fucked up my relationship with everybody I love, and God knows I wouldn't deserve any forgiveness from them-"

 

"Harry-." Louis started gently, but Harry cut him off.

 

"No, Lou. You have no idea, no fucking idea how badly I fucked up. The things I said - the things I _did_. It's unforgiveable. They couldn't possibly forgive me, but maybe I can earn their acceptance again. At least I can show them that I'm trying, and that I really do love them, no matter what I-" Harry choked up, and cleared his throat helplessly, "Sorry. I thought I'd be cool to talk about this."

 

Louis brought his other hand on the table, taking Harry's hand between both of his, "It's okay, Harry. How about we continue this at home, yeah? A bit more private." Louis glanced briefly at a couple staring at them from the other side of the room. They quickly glanced away, but he knew there were others. "We can have a good chat there."

 

"Okay," Harry agreed, "I'm sorry. I wanted this to be short, since I know you need to go to class and all."

 

"Don't worry about it. It's good to get it this sort of stuff out of your system."

 

"You're done at three, right?"

 

"Yeah, but I don't mind going now. I won't miss much." Louis thought this was important enough that he wouldn't feel bad about skipping one class.

 

"Absolutely not. We can meet up after, it's no problem. You've already skipped one class for me, that's enough. It's almost one, I'll walk you to class, yeah?"

 

Louis simply nodded in resignation, "Alright."

 

They threw out their trash and Harry held his hand on their way to his classroom. There were still stares, but Louis was mostly used to it by now. Harry left him in front of the class with a long kiss, Louis promising he'd be over as soon as it was over.

 

Harry still seemed unsettled, but he smiled his way through it.

 

He was still wearing the same expression when Louis got home. (Not home, he reminded himself, Harry's home.) He did his due diligence during his seemingly forever long class, taking his notes and listening to his teacher, but there was a nagging at the back of his mind insisting he should be with his distressed boyfriend instead. Yet he knew Harry - and he himself - would be disappointed if he did so.

 

"Hazzah!" He called upon entering the quiet house, hearing a faint buzzing sound from what was probably the living room.

 

There was a garbled response from that same area, and he found Harry laying across the sofa on his stomach with the television playing softly on the discovery channel. Harry shifted enough to meet his gaze with a forced smile.

 

"Hey, Lou."

 

Louis dropped his backpack on the ground and stepped over to him, running a hand through his hair in a comforting manner. "How're you feeling?"

 

Harry shrugged, "Mm. Fine, I guess. Dunno."

 

Louis hummed lowly, as more or less a way to tell Harry to go on, and chose to make himself comfortable for their conversation. He placed a knee on the couch next to Harry's thigh and brought the other leg up too, straddling Harry's bum. He leaned forward gently, trying not to crush Harry whom was laying on his stomach, and laid down across his back, moving his legs until he was completely parallel with Harry's body. His hands went to his shoulders, fingertips playing with his shirt and his hair, and he rested his cheek against the back of Harry's neck.

 

Harry was a very comfortable mattress.

 

There was a bit of shifting, but Harry clearly didn't mind the weight on his back, Louis even spotting what may have been a real smile.

 

"Dunno what got into me today." Harry admitted after several moments of silence, "I really thought I'd be cool to talk about it, it's been so long, you know? It's like, I'm working on recovering from the drugs and the alcohol, but I don't know if I can ever recover from being me... If that makes sense?"

 

Louis simply made a sound to incite him to continue.

 

"Sometimes I can forget that stuff, but then when it does come to mind it's like I can't get it to stop. It's like a giant fucking slap to the face that I'm not... I wouldn't be worth forgiving anyways, even if I did reach out to my boys or my family."

 

"Well, lucky for you you're not the one who chooses whether you're worth forgiving. It's up to them, and if they're any bit as decent as I _know_ you are, they'll forgive you. Or they'll be willing to try, and that'd be something, right?"

 

Harry let out a cold laugh, "I'm very far from decent, Louis. The media doesn't even know half the fucked up shit I've done."

 

"Then tell me, if you want me to know. Otherwise I'm going off what I do know, and that's that Harry Styles is a huge goofball with a huge heart that genuinely regrets the things he's done and who's working really hard to be what he knows he can be."

 

Harry grabbed the hand brushing through his hair and brought it to his lips, kissing the fingertips, the knuckles, and the palm - wherever he could reach. He was silent as he pressed soft kisses to Louis' warm skin, contemplative and moved.

 

"As someone who insists on defending me because you're too good, I want to tell you the truth, but I just... I don't want you to hate me. Is that selfish?"

 

"No, it's not. You can tell me whatever you want, I promise I won't hate you."

 

"Don't promise that, please. You can hate me, if you want, but let me finish?"

 

"Okay, promise I'll let you finish. Go ahead, babe." Louis placed a kiss to the back of his neck.

 

"Alright, um... Fuck, this is hard." Harry mumbled against Louis' hand that he still held close to his lips.

 

"Just say whatever you want, Harry. I'm listening."

 

Harry let out a long sigh to ease the stress, and allowed himself to speak without thinking too much about it, "It didn't start out of nowhere, you know. Everything was great at first. But of course our management team knew I was bi and only let me date whoever they wanted, and it got to me eventually. It's not that I didn't like the women they set me up with, but I knew why they were with me and it felt... Gross? That, and I always kind of felt like I was only being half of myself, if that makes any sense? It was getting to me, and I started getting anxious and angry, I was getting short-tempered with my mates and my family.

 

That's when I decided that coming out would be the solution. I knew I couldn't do it with my management's approval though, so I had a sort of set-up where I'd have pictures taken of me with this guy by some random paps. When it made the news I thought it would be better. I was wrong. Nobody was ever _happy_. People wanted me to be some sort of role model for the gay community, but if I was with a guy people were so cruel. But if I was with a woman, they called me a liar and a fake and other awful things. But if I was single I was a slut who couldn't settle down.

 

I couldn't win. I had my boys and my family supporting me, but it's hard to focus on the good things when the bad is so... _bad_. I'm not sure if I started taking drugs because I cared too much or I stopped caring. The alcohol wasn't soon after. I lost control so fast after that. I was angry and depressed and irritable, I yelled at everybody and I felt like I was going insane.

 

Then I got pushy." Harry admitted in a hushed voice, going silent for a while as he thought over his next words.

 

"The boys liked to drink, sure, but I was drinking every night, performing drunk or hungover, and I got sick on stage more than once. But I dragged them out often, putting drinks in their hands that they didn't want. Liam got really sick once. I... I gave him alcohol poisoning. He-he's so big on wanting to fit in and be liked, and I used that against him like a shitty human being. Of course, Liam-fucking-Payne blamed himself.

 

And I let him. I think that's when I started getting scared of what I was becoming, which truthfully only made me worse. The boys were with me every step of the way, trying to help me without making it obvious, because I'd get angry with them. But I didn't want their help, so there wasn't anything they could really do. I have no idea how many shows, interviews, and things like that that I'd missed because I was too fucked up to climb out of whatever shit-hole I'd spent the night... Or day.

 

They never got angry, and I think that made me even angrier? I wanted them to yell at me, to call me a fuck up, to get _mean_ with me. They never did. I wanted them to hate me, but they wouldn't. I'd spend the day yelling at my mum and then at night I'd go to her's - high as fuck, crying my eyes out with bruises on my arm, but she just took me in. Always. And the boys... We lived in each other's pockets at the time, you know? But no matter what I did, they were there to love me.

 

But even the bond we had couldn't stand up to what I did... It was worse than the other shit the media talked about. Saying I slept with people who were underage and forcing myself on people who were drunk, selling drugs to people in rehab and making some girl have an abortion... and none of that was even true. I was so much worse than all that. I almost... Liam's alcohol poisoning hadn't been so bad, he'd puked up most of it and the hospital pumped out the rest. We weren't at the point where we thought he would... Or at least I didn't think... But then I..."

 

Harry shook with overwhelming tears, Louis wiping them as quick as they came. He stayed quiet as he waited for him to compose himself enough to continue.

 

"I almost killed Niall. It was a miracle that they were able to restart his heart, the doctors told me after. I... I was pushy. The boys had kind of experimented with drugs, but they didn't do it like I did. Nowhere near it. But I wanted us to have a good time together - I was already high and drunk by the time we got together, of course. They had done pot a couple times, but none of them had ever wanted to try heroin, for good reasons. I pushed though, and Niall - sweet, impressionable Niall - said he'd try some with me. I wasn't thinking, I would never... It wasn't on purpose! They thought - I didn't realize that... I gave him as much as I would take myself, but as someone who'd never done it before... Niall suffered an overdose. His heart stopped in the ambulance, but he made a full recovery.

 

That's what did it. The boys cancelled the rest of the tour, quit the group, and told me to call if I ever cleaned up my act. When I spoke to my mother the same day, we got in an argument and I called her an over-controlling bitch. She said she would always love me, but that until I cleaned up my act I shouldn't call again. Everyone on the same day told me the same thing. ' _Clean up your act, Harry, and then we can talk_ '. I haven't spoken to any of them since."

 

Harry's grip on his hand hadn't loosened since the start of his story, if anything it had only gotten tighter, but he let him go then, almost shying away from their contact now that he'd laid everything out there for Louis to see.

 

He coughed awkwardly, "So, yeah. That's what happened."

 

Louis hadn't stopped his comforting touches, continuing to run his fingers through his hair or wiping away tears, wordlessly reminding Harry he was there to listen and support him.

 

"Was it after that that you went to rehab?" Louis asked gently, breaking the silence.

 

"Sort of. All of that pushed me in the right direction, but I'm sure you understand, addiction is... I was in and out a lot. It took months before it stuck, but eventually I stayed. I was there for a little over a year - no relapses or quitting."

 

"That's wonderful, Harry. How long have you been clean now?"

 

"I'm hitting three years soon."

 

"That's amazing." Louis kissed the back of his ear affectionately.

 

Harry reached a hand back and entwined his fingers in Louis' hair, guiding him a bit to the side so he could get a better view of his openly soft expression, "You don't think I'm gross?"

 

"Gross?" Louis asked. He shifted a little closer to the edge of the couch, most of his weight still on Harry's back, but had moved enough to be more face to face with him.

 

"Um... Despicable? Awful? Horrible? I'm sure there's loads of ways to put it." Harry said bitterly, shifting his gaze to the wall.

 

"I think you're right." Harry squeezed his eyes shut in hollowed anticipation, "It's definitely time to try and make contact with your friends and family."

 

Louis jolted in surprised at the loud sob Harry let out, and managed to catch himself when he stood up abruptly, throwing Louis off his back. Louis sat back on his heels and watched Harry's shaking, seated form. He sat there for a moment, hands clenched in his lap and tears slipping down his cheeks. Louis waited patiently - for who knew what. Harry almost looked like a ticking time bomb, and he would have been frightened if he didn't know him better.

 

After several moments he slowly turned around to face Louis, both of them on their knees in front of each other on the plushy black sofa. Louis kept his hands to himself, containing the need to rid Harry's face of tears.

 

The voice that came out of Harry's parted lips was broken and desperately lost.

 

" _Why don't you hate me?_ " It was a shout spoken in a low tone, a mix of sadness, anger, and confusion.

 

Louis didn't answer. He reached forward and pulled Harry into his chest, letting him rest his head on his shoulder while he ran a hand through his hair and patted his back. He rocked them, feeling his shirt grow wet with tears. He made little shushing sounds, but didn't say a word, simply holding him as he needed.

 

"Why won't you hate me? Why won't any of you hate me?" Harry mumbled, voice muffled and ruined by the crying. "The people I don't give a shit about hate me plenty, but those I do care about refuse to hate me though they should more than anybody. I don't understand."

 

"Why do you want us to hate you?"

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that it would be easier to be hated? That it would provide an excuse to continue being a fuck up and wallow in self-pity? And when they don't hate you, and persist in encouraging and supporting you, it's a constant reminder that you could do better and at the time had chosen not to. And now that you have gotten better and are fighting your addictions, you're still afraid of your past and afraid of what you could do and would almost rather remain in seclusion to avoid hurting anyone else. Is it maybe something like that?"

 

Harry pulled back to meet his gaze, wiping at his face, "Don't pull that psychology crap on me, Tomlinson." There was no malice to it. Harry ran a hand over the wet spot on Louis' shirt, "Sorry about that."

 

"It's fine. It's your shirt anyways." Louis said with a grin, causing Harry to let out a soft laugh that came out a little cracked. He cleared his throat and smiled softly.

 

"You didn't answer my question."

 

"Do I really need to?" Louis said as he turned around and reached for the tissue box on the side table behind him. He straightened up with it in his hands and held it out to Harry. He took a few to wipe his face of tears and snot, but kept a steady gaze on Louis, still waiting for an answer. Louis brushed aside a few curls that had gotten stuck to Harry's cheek from his tear tracks, "I have no reason to hate you, Harry."

 

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Louis shushed him, "Shush you. Look, I'm sure I could say all this is too much for me and that I want nothing to do with you. That would be the easy way to get out of what's a bit of a... tough situation, but I'm not easily scared off and you're worth sticking around for. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I have faith in you. Maybe it's silly since we haven't known each other very long, but I feel like I've got a good grasp of who you are and I believe in that person."

 

"Lou..."

 

"All I'm saying is, and I'm sure this sounds stupid, but... I want you to succeed and I want you to be what you're capable of. And if I can help with that, then I'm not going anywhere."

 

Louis felt raw admitting that so openly to Harry, but he needed him to understand his dedication to him, to what they were working towards. If he was a little too open, maybe Harry wouldn't question it.

 

A couple tears spilt out from sore, red eyes, but Harry made no move to wipe them off. He stared at Louis, face indecipherable. Louis pulled out a tissue and leant forward, one hand on Harry's neck and the other wiping away the tears with the tissue.

 

"I know you've said that you don't want anything in return for all this, but I hope you know that there's nothing in the world I could give to you that would mean as much as what you've given me." Harry's voice was hoarse from the sobbing, but there was an edge of thickness to it from his current intense emotional state.

 

Louis didn't know what to say to the comment, made speechless by the fact that Harry clearly meant it whole-heartedly and with complete honesty. He placed the tissue on the coffee table with the other used one's and crawled into Harry's lap, wrapping them together in a warm embrace. He placed a soft kiss to his lips, wet and pliant, but innocent and worth all the words in the world.

 

He pulled back and turned his expression into something sultry (or he hoped so, at least), and spoke lowly, "Wanna have a cuddle, baby?"

 

Harry let out a loud, unbidden, laugh that Louis adored, and buried his face in Louis' shoulder. After a moment of shaking shoulders, Louis pleased that it was due to joy rather than sadness finally, he pulled back with a large smile on his lips that had Louis smiling too.

 

"Sounds good. Actually no," He said with an uncharacteristically serious tone, "I'm gonna cuddle you super hard, and you're going to do homework."

 

Louis threw himself on his back in a dramatic fashion, bouncing softly on the pillowy cushion, "Har-reh!" He whined, "That's not fair!"

 

Harry laughed as he moved on top of him, grinning down at his pouting face, "If you work hard for two full hours I'll suck your dick."

 

Louis stopped pouting and started contemplating the idea. He lifted both hands and compared the pros and cons in his mind, moving his hands up and down with his ideas. Eventually he sighed, sitting up on the couch and placing his feet on the ground, "Fine, I'll do my homework. But I'm watching the minutes, Styles!"

 

"Of course." Harry said with a laugh.

 

"Put something on the tely would you? And if it's anything but _Love Actually_ I might return the favour in two hours."

 

Harry only continued to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comments! I really hope you enjoyed this chappie and the look into Harry's past! That sort of emotional state is a bit harder to understand if you haven't experienced/witnessed it personally, but I hope that it came across well enough that you were all able to feel it the way I meant you to.
> 
> Have a good week, see you next Friday!
> 
> PS: This story is at about 97K words now (ish) and just a bit more to add.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Sorry about the two day delay! What with Christmas coming up so quickly there's just not enough time to do everything right now. Next week's chappie will not be on friday, as that's Christmas, but most likely the Saturday or Sunday. Thanks for the understanding and your lovely words on the last chapter! Hope you enjoy :)

(From: Haz 3:02 a.m)

Do you think cats have feelings?

 

(From: Lou 3:03 a.m)

Are you seriously texting me from the toilet?

 

(From: Haz 3:03 a.m)

Maybe

 

(From: Lou 3:04 a.m)

Come back to bed you loser.

(3:04 a.m)

And no, cats don't have feelings. They have plans for world domination.

 

(From: Haz 3:05 a.m)

I knew it.

 

...

 

(From: Haz 2:38 p.m)

Your car is ready. They're open until nine so we can go get it after your class is done if you want.

 

(From: Lou 2:42 p.m)

Alright, sounds good. Do you know why it took them over two weeks to get this done? I don't think I ruined my car that badly.

 

(From: Haz 2:44 p.m)

Genie lamp.

 

(From: Lou 2:47 p.m)

... Point taken. I'll go to yours when class is over?

 

(From: Haz 2:48 p.m)

Yup! I'll drive us there.

 

(From: Lou 2:49 p.m)

Ok, see you then.

 

(From: Haz 2:49 p.m)

See you soon x.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"I'm still not quite sure why it would have taken them so long just to change the engine. Were there other things they needed to do that you're not telling me?" Louis shot Harry an accusing glare, but only received a smile in return.

 

"Like I said, a lot of it went over my head. But there was lots they needed to do, and most of it had to do with the engine. Maybe they just had to wait for parts or something?"

 

Louis squinted at him disbelievingly, but let it go. He'd brought Harry's car back to his place and put it back in its designated spot before they took one of his other vehicles (and why on earth did he need so many?) to make their way to the garage that had been taking care of repairing his own car. He quickly noticed that they weren't, in fact, going in that direction.

 

"I'm pretty sure the garage is on Baker Street, you should have turned on Golden Avenue." Louis said as they passed said street.

 

Harry only made a sound of acknowledgement, but kept on the same route.

 

"Harry." Louis said almost accusingly, "Where are we going?"

 

"To pick up your car of course." Harry turned onto a different street, Louis now very sure they weren't going in the right direction.

 

"This isn't the right way to the garage."

 

"I know."

 

"Harold, where is my car?"

 

Harry didn't answer, taking another street and pulling into a parking lot. He parked the car and looked over at Louis.

 

"Auto body works? Isn't that like... What did you do to my car?" Louis glared at Harry, lips pursed and gaze accusing.

 

Harry somehow kept the grin off his lips, "No offence, but I thought your car could use a touch-up. And since you gave me permission to fix up the car..." He gestured towards the store as way of explanation.

 

Louis turned his glare to the auto paint shop, upset but kind of knowing he had more or less agreed to Harry 'fixing up' his car. "Fine, I guess. Let's just go get it, yeah?"

 

He didn't like the look on Harry's face.

 

He stepped out of the car and waited for Harry to join his side before the duo made their way inside the store.

 

There were lots of different pictures on the walls of cars with fancy paint jobs, and Louis looked around a little anxiously. The lady at the desk greeted them enthusiastically.

 

"Hello lads! My name is Nancy, how can I help you today?"

 

"We brought our car in last week for a paint job. Under Harry Styles."

 

Louis was still suspicious, but he was also incredibly excited to finally be able to get his car back. He enjoyed driving Harry's fancy car, but he'd spent so much of his time worried about getting any scratches on it that it almost lost its charm.

 

The lady looked over the papers on her desk and clicked some keys on her computer, eventually turning to them with a bright smile, "Yup, yup, yup, your car is ready to go. It's in garage number three. Cho! Can you bring them to garage three? For a pick-up. Thank you." She handed a set of keys to another woman who gestured for the two boys to follow her.

 

They followed her, Harry walking ahead confidently and Louis behind with a nervous twitch to his steps. He trusted Harry with important things, but not with things like this.

 

As they stepped into garage three, he knew exactly why he didn't trust Harry for these things.

 

"And here is your car, Mr. Styles. We hope it's to your satisfaction."

 

"It absolutely is Cho, thank you." Harry took the keys from the woman who took several steps away from the couple, most likely due to the look on Louis' face. Harry turned to Louis, eyes bright and smile wide, "So? Like it?"

 

Louis opened his mouth to respond, but no words could come out. His jaw stayed open, too distracted to bother closing it.

 

He couldn't believe Harry would do this. Yet he kind of could.

 

His eyes almost hurt staring at the disturbingly bright paint job on his car. It was very... Pink.

 

His lovely little shitvic had been transformed into this pink beast - no more rust and no more dirt, only pink and pretty and flashy. Louis was pretty sure he could kill Harry.

 

All of it, every inch of metal, was pink. Not even a subtle pink, a hot pink that was hard on the eyes. Something from a Barbie movie.

 

Louis took in a deep breath and turned to Harry, his gaze almost murderous. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times before deciding on his words, spotting a nervous Cho out of the corner of his eyes - he didn't blame them. He blamed Harry.

 

"I’ll be home in two hours. You will have a warm bubble bath and a freshly baked plate of cookies waiting for me." Louis snatched the keys out of Harry's hand, his look turning darker at the obviously suppressed laugh on Harry's lips.

 

(Harry's home, not his, he reminded himself.)

 

He stormed off towards his newly modified car, "Can somebody open that door?" He pointed to the garage door. He unlocked his car and turned on the engine.

 

Okay, so it sounded a million times better than it had a couple weeks ago, but he was still angry.

 

The garage door opened and he drove out, leaving a laughing Harry in his wake.

 

Sure he wanted to be upset, but he really couldn't. It was the kind of prank he'd pull if he had the money to do so, and couldn't fault Harry for taking advantage of the opportunity. He'd been at the point of selling his car, and it was thanks to Harry that he still had a set of wheels to drive around at all. Yet the looks he got from the people on the street rekindled his anger just that little bit.

 

When he pulled into Harry's driveway exactly two hours later, he had simmered down enough to be able to speak. The bright pink contrasted so intensely with its surroundings, but he had to admit he wouldn't have any issues finding it in a parking lot anymore.

 

He hesitated at the front door, the key he'd had over the past two weeks returned to its owner only earlier that morning, but he tried the knob and was happy to find it unlocked. Two steps in and there was the unmistakable scent of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. That was one thing done, hopefully he'd find a nice bubble bath waiting for him next.

 

Louis purposely left his shoes in the middle of the hall rather than to the side and started towards the main bedroom.

 

"Lou?!" He heard Harry before he saw him, and chose not to say anything until he stepped into the bedroom to find him waiting for him with a plate of cookies.

 

"Harold." He greeted dryly, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Harry held out the plate as a peace offering, smiling apologetically, "Want a cookie? Came out of the oven ten minutes ago."

 

Louis didn't answer, nor did he move. Maybe he was being a bit bratty, but he was curious to see how Harry would handle the situation.

 

It wasn't quite how he expected.

 

Harry took a cookie in hand and placed the plate on the dresser next to some form of clothing. Stepping in front of Louis he placed the cookie against his lips, waiting patiently for him to part them and allow him to place the food item in his mouth. Louis rolled his eyes, but took the cookie in hand as he nibbled the edge, gaze fixed on his antsy 'boyfriend'.

 

With his hands free, Harry went to reach for the button on Louis' jeans, but he took a step back.

 

"Excuse you." Louis objected through a mouthful of cookie.

 

Harry sighed, "If you want to get into the super romantic bath I set up for you, you need to get naked."

 

Louis pouted around his food, but took the step back towards the clearly more than a little frustrated Harry. He let him undress him, moving his limbs wherever Harry maneuvered him. Eventually he stood completely naked in the middle of their bedroom, munching on what was now only half a cookie. Harry went to the dresser and picked up the item of clothing Louis had spotted, but had ignored.

 

Harry draped it over Louis' shoulders, Louis shivering at the feeling of cool silk against his skin. He slipped in his arms and let Harry tie it around his waist for him, still only watching him quietly.

 

"Picked this up for you a couple days ago - so you can stop using mine."

 

"Like you care about walking around naked." Louis pointed out, earning an amused eye roll in return.

 

Harry's hand followed the line of the thin belt, staying firm on Louis' hips, and he looked down at him with wide eyes, "Are you, um, actually really mad at me?" He asked with his voice sounding small.

 

Louis took one look at his anxiety bitten lips and hopeful eyes to know he really wasn't. Harry was scared of being bold for any reason - whether through his words or his actions, and maybe it wouldn't have been okay with other people, but he'd had confidence that Louis would take it with a laugh and he couldn't be upset with him for it.

 

It had taken a huge amount of courage for Harry to go out of his comfort zone to pull such a big prank on someone he was hoping would take it well.

 

Louis cracked off a piece of the cookie and placed it in Harry's waiting mouth, still patiently waiting for a response, and Louis could only smile gently and shrug, "Nah. It's cool. I mean, now I get to drive us around in the Barbie Mobile instead of the Shitvic."

 

The look on Harry's face made forgiving him worth it.

 

Payback's a bitch.

 

"Bathtime?"

 

A new silk bathrobe and a bubble bath surrounded by sweet-smelling candles with a lovely flute of orange juice to go with it were almost enough to convince him that he wouldn't be driving them around _all_ the time.

 

Then he remembered what his car looked like and he changed his mind quickly enough.

 

The Barbie Mobile was going to be sticking around.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"No, Lottie, I'm not bringing him around. We've only started dating, it'd be way too soon."

 

"It's been like two months!"

 

"... Has it really?"

 

"Uh, duh? You don't even know when your own relationship started? Talk about a bad boyfriend."

 

"Of course I know when it started! I... just hadn't realized how long we've been... Time flies I guess."

 

"Like him that much, huh?"

 

"Well - I mean, I dunno? Um, so yeah, no. I'm not bringing him over. I know you just want a picture to show off to your friends anyways. Maybe later or something, but not now."

 

"But Loo-ou!"

 

"No, Charlotte."

 

"Ugh, lame. Okay, but seriously. Is he as hot in person as he is on camera?"

 

"He's handsomer than he was, and more mature which makes him even more attractive."

 

"Is he a good kisser?"

 

"I'm not having this conversation with you. But yes. Now do you have anything to say to me that doesn't revolve around Harry?"

 

"... Soo did you always secretly like flannel, or is that a side effect of having a hipster rockstar boyfriend's closet to raid?"

 

**OoOoO**

 

Two months. Had it really been two months? That was such a long time, yet it seemed like they had only just met. Had only just started doing this thing...

 

Louis knew he got a little lost in what they were sometimes, his mother having been right about the fact that their intimacy was probably not the best idea, but he was always brought back to reality eventually. Harry insisted on joining him even for mundane tasks, such as grocery shopping or going to the school library to grab some books, and it almost seemed domestic until Harry pulled out his phone that night to see what people were saying about them - about him. Then he'd roll over and fuck Louis into the mattress and he'd get lost again.

 

They hadn't agreed on a timeframe, but two months was almost excessive. Surely Harry would put a stop to what they were doing soon enough, and that would probably be for the best.

 

Yet he got home from playing footie with friends and Harry was in his kitchen baking cupcakes (and Louis was really very sure he didn't have ingredients for that) and he got lost again.

 

It was probably a bit sad that Louis knew Harry was in his apartment not from the delicious smell of food, but the fact that he could see his floor.

 

"Babe! Did you clean my flat?" Louis stepped cautiously further into the apartment, spotting more and more floor - and it was hardwood, good to know. Louis could see that most of his things had been simply placed into organized piles and lumps, not really having furniture to store anything.

 

"Yup. How long have you lived in this place to not own a single cleaning supply? That's really on the verge of disgusting, you know."

 

"Piss off." Louis rounded the little entry hall and stood in his mini kitchen, seeing Harry mixing something in a plastic bowl he was also quite sure he didn't own. There was a plate of fresh-out-of-the-oven cupcakes, and the little light on the stove showed there was still another batch to come. It smelt nice. Almost like being at Harry's place.

 

It's not that he didn't like cleanliness, he just... Cleaning was boring and he had better things to do with his time.

 

Harry took the bowl in one hand and continued to mix while he turned to look at Louis, eyes travelling up and down as he took in his attire, "You play footie?"

 

Louis shrugged, "A bit, yeah. Season's over now, so me and the guys just kinda like to fool around. Keep in shape and stuff."

 

"Sexy," Harry said, earning an eye roll and a masked smile, "Are you on the Uni team?"

 

"Yeah, I'm right fielder."

 

"Wow! Isn't it really hard to get on college teams? That's impressive."

 

Louis shifted awkwardly at the comment and the sincerity behind it. Knowing he was blushing and made shy by the attention, he made himself busy by putting away his things. He placed his bag with his footie equipment in the corner of the living room and placed his ball on top of it. He often got to the field early and liked to bring his own to pass the time. When he took off his sneakers and threw them down the hall, he wasn't too surprised to hear the sharp intake of breath.

 

" _Louis William Tomlinson_! You _will_ put those shoes in the closet!"

 

Louis groaned going to fetch the sneakers and doing as Harry had demanded, mumbling loudly, "You're not my mum you arse."

 

"Excuse you?"

 

"Nothing, darling!" Louis returned to the kitchen, arms crossed and a little put out, "You know, I didn't ask you to clean my flat. This is my home, you know, and I can do with it as I like."

 

"Don't you feel much more at peace now that your place is clean? Cleaning is cleansing."

 

"I mean, it _is_ kind of nice..." Louis leaned against the wall, watching Harry mix what seemed to be an orange concoction of sorts, "How the fuck do you know my middle name, by the way? Stalking me, Harold?"

 

"Oh, um, no I-" Harry turned towards the counter, placing the bowl on it and continuing to mix without looking at Louis.

 

Louis stared at him curiously, confused by his reaction.

 

"I didn't mean to, I... I was cleaning your room and I found, well to be fair you really should put those kind of things in safe places because you know it's important and if someone steals it it would be easy to steal your identity and shit."

 

"What?" Louis slowly went beyond confused. There was really nothing in his room that should cause anyone to be flustered. Okay, maybe the sex stuff but that shouldn't fluster Harry of all people. "I have no secrets, Harry."

 

"Well, I just... Are you adopted?" Harry spoke quickly, cheeks red and hands still mixing rapidly. "Not that it matters! I just think it's... interesting? I don't know, I've never known anyone who's-"

 

Louis laughed, cutting him short, "Oh my god! No, I'm not adopted, well I suppose technically I'm half-adopted. But I can't believe that's what made you all weird! It's just a piece of paper."

 

"I'm sorry, I thought it might be private or something." Harry mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

 

"No, no, babe it's okay." Louis stepped up to him, feeling a little bad for laughing at him. To him it was such a strange thing to act weird about, but he hadn't meant to embarrass him, "S'just my mum is my mum, but my dad is my dad, just not biologically. It's not a secret or anything. I don't really mention it because I don't think it makes a difference. Like I said, my dad is my dad and that's all there is to it."

 

"Ok, sorry I was weird." Harry was still looking shyly at the bowl on the counter.

 

Louis kissed his shoulder, happy with the little smile that made its way on Harry's lips, "You're cute. Did you really clean up my room?"

 

Harry finally let go of the mixing spoon and turned sideways to be face to face with Louis, hand automatically reaching for his hip, "I'm going to say I tried to clean your room. It's still a mess, but it's more of an organized mess now. Anything I found that was important is in the bottom shelf of your bedside table."

 

"How many hours have you been here, exactly?" Louis asked suspiciously, knowing he'd been out of the flat for about eight hours or so.

 

"I got here right after you left, I think. Started at nine this morning, right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"I was going to come by earlier, but I was getting some stuff together."

 

"Well, thank you for cleaning up. It's weird, but sweet." Louis went on his tippy toes to give him a kiss, pulling away before Harry could properly wrap himself around him like he liked to do. "I have to go shower, I'm still all sweaty and gross from footie."

 

"Couldn't you shower at school?"

 

"Well, yeah, but... Most of the guys don't care about me being gay, but there's a couple that do, so..." Louis shrugged.

 

Harry looked astounded by the comment, "What? That's bullshit and you know it. You have as much right to wash up after a game as they do. To be honest, it doesn't seem like you to just let them be assholes about something like that. Haven't you told them to fuck off?"

 

"Look, it's more complicated than that. They're my teammates and I'm not going to start something that'll cause trouble. I was never in the closet, and luckily my coach doesn't give a shit about anything other than what you can do on the field, but if enough of the guys want me off the team, then... I'm under the radar and I plan on staying there."

 

"Doesn't seem right."

 

"Like I said, most of them don't care. Most of them are great, actually. They have my back, and I like to think they'd defend me if I did say something, but even I get tired of fighting sometimes, you know? I'm happy with the way things are, so don't worry about it, okay? I'm good. Besides, the water there is bloody cold and I'd rather shower at home."

 

He meant that sincerely, and he was glad that Harry dropped it at that.

 

"So... does this mean awesome shower sex?"

 

"I was wondering why you were here, other than to clean my flat of course. Should have known it was for my arse." Louis laughed as Harry's grabby hands reached for his hips, fingers pressing into the skin under his shirt. He didn't let him pull him in close with that shower still foremost in his mind. He'd changed into different shorts and a clean jersey, but the sweat had still seeped through.

 

"Mm, always." He pressed a heated kiss to his lips, hands moving lower and squeezing his bum, causing to Louis to let out a little gasp. Harry pulled back with a satisfied grin, "But actually, I'm here for a different reason too. I was wondering if it'd be okay if I stay here for a bit? There's some stuff getting done at home. I can get a hotel, if you'd rather not. I don't want to be in your way either."

 

"Sure, Harry. You're welcome anytime, as long as you keep up this whole cooking thing." Louis said, gesturing the food on the counter.

 

Harry laughed and nodded, "I think I can handle that, thanks love. You know, these cupcakes only have a couple minutes left, and then they need to cool down before I can put icing on them. So, we're going to have some time to ourselves." He gave another squeeze to his ass, obvious in what he was referring to.

 

"Have you ever had shower sex, Harold?"

 

"Nope, but there's a first for everything."

 

"Yeah - no. Shower sex is awful. I'm down for a lot of things, but that's not one of them. I did it, or well I tried it, once, and it doesn't work like in porn. I promise, you're not missing out on anything."

 

Harry stared at him a long while, silent and thinking, then he smiled brightly, "That's alright! Can I wash your hair?"

 

Louis rolled his eyes and stepped out of his hold, walking away from him and making his way to his bedroom. He knew Harry would follow after removing the cupcakes from the beeping oven.

 

Louis cautiously opened his bedroom door, peering in at what would undoubtedly be some epic weirdness. He pushed the door completely open and took in the room, hugely impressed.

 

All of his clothes had been placed in piles against the wall, his laundry basket only containing what he knew was dirty clothes, his bed was made and the crap he'd had on his floor had all been moved around and put in piles. He could see his floor. It obviously wasn't as clean as it could be, but with no furniture Harry had done quite well to make it livable.

 

"Impressive." Louis told him, glancing around the almost unfamiliar room. He went up to the piles of clothing, carefully pulling out something to change into.

 

"I know it probably won't stay like this for long, but I figured it'd be nice while it lasted."

 

Louis tossed him a feeble glare as he stepped passed him into the hall, grabbed a couple towels from the linen closet (all items now stacked by size, which seemed unnecessary, but Harry was strange like that) and then entered the bathroom, not bothering to close the door.

 

Harry was almost naked by the time Louis had placed the towels on the counter and turned on the shower head. Louis shook his head at his eagerness, but was quick to follow suit. After a minute he tested the water, and finding it warm, stepped into the tub with Harry close behind.

 

"You know, I still think with proper determination we could have a very good time in here." Harry commented, hands already roaming and Louis had to slap them away.

 

"Oh, really?" Louis tugged Harry under the water, and he had to duck down to spit out a mouthful of water, "Are you sure about that?"

 

"Okay, maybe not." Harry stepped back and shook out his hair, little droplets flying around.

 

Louis scrunched his face at the onslaught and pointed out a bottle in the corner to Harry, "Pass me the shampoo, would you?" He stepped under the spray and wet his hair.

 

Harry grabbed the bottle and squirted a generous amount into his palm, placing the bottle back where it belonged. Louis gave him a look of annoyance and he only smiled, "What? I said I was gonna wash your hair. Turn around."

 

Louis sighed, but did as asked. He let out another sigh as Harry scrubbed the soap into his scalp, rubbing it in deeply and more or less giving him a proper head massage. It was like being at the hair salon, only with less hair pulling. Harry was clearly pandering to his little breaths of contentment, since it really didn't take several minutes to put in shampoo, but Louis wasn't complaining.

 

Harry had him turn around again, gently leaning him back under the spray to wash out the soap. Louis enjoyed the feel of fingers in his hair and the inevitable feel of lips on his own. He felt warm - from the water and the body heat, and didn't protest the touches for a little while. He parted his lips and let Harry explore like it was their first kiss, hands leaving hair and moving to skin.

 

Eventually he pulled back, giving Harry's chest a gentle push, "Body wash is there."

 

Harry's gaze was heated as he grabbed the item and chose, once again, to apply it himself. Louis said nothing as he rubbed the body wash into his skin, starting from his chest, to his arms, and getting on his knees to get at his legs. Louis had to look away at that point, there was only so much self-restraint he could have when there was a handsome man on his knees in front of him.

 

Harry stood up once he was done and guided Louis backwards, getting him back under the spray, but keeping his face clear of it, and worked on rinsing him off. He took his time in doing so, wetting his hands and using them to get whatever skin wasn't under the water.

 

Louis kept his eyes closed and allowed himself to simply enjoy the touches, letting him gather in close once he was finished and press their lips together in another heated kiss. He could feel Harry's erection on his hip and his hands making their way lower, but he made no objections yet. If he got desperate he would just drag them to the bedroom to continue. As it was, he'd see what Harry was up to.

 

He had to part their lips to let out the breathy moan he couldn't prevent as he felt the tip of a finger slip into his hole.

 

"Ha-Harry, can't use condoms in water." Louis reasoned, but didn't do anything to stop him either.

 

"Don't worry, I can think of plenty of other ways to get you off." Harry pushed the finger in deeper, slowly reaching the knuckle.

 

Louis shuddered at the words and the feeling, "I-" He could only make another breathy sound.

 

He always found it hard to believe that people didn't like anal, or that some people couldn't get off because their partner couldn't get their prostate, because he was so bloody sensitive. Anything felt good to him, completely turned on by the feeling of being filled and stretched. Even if his partner couldn't get his prostate, with a proper reach-around he could have a very satisfying orgasm.

 

Most guys Louis slept with got the idea in their heads that they were simply good, but Harry seemed to have caught on to the fact that it wasn't necessarily about how good Harry was, but about how sensitive Louis was. He definitely had no issue taking advantage of it, using his fingers with no intention of prepping him, only to make him feel good.

 

"Turn around, babe, hands on the wall." Harry instructed. He took out his finger and reached up to move the shower head higher, the spray hitting the back of the tub and nowhere that could bother them.

 

"Quite like me in this position, don't you?" Louis teased, able to form coherent thought processes now that there was nothing in or near his ass, although it didn't last long.

 

"Quite like you in all positions." Harry replied, placing one hand on Louis' waist and bringing his other back to where it had previously been. He shoved one finger in him, a little more roughly knowing he had gotten accustomed to it. He smoothly pushed in a second finger, moving them in and out in slow, torturous movements. "Fuck, haven't even touched your dick and you're so hard."

 

Louis pressed his forehead to the cool shower wall, focus more on the movements of Harry's fingers than on his words. He knew he was almost embarrassingly hard from hardly any stimulation, but he knew Harry wasn't actually judging him on it and Louis didn't care so long as he didn't stop what he was doing.

 

"Think you could cum from just my fingers?" Harry pressed into his back, pressing his lips to his shoulder blade and sucking a dark bruise into his tan skin. Louis instinctly moved his head to the opposite side, giving Harry more access. Harry took advantage of it, sucking extra marks into his skin wherever he could reach. When he hit a particularly sensitive area Louis clenched around his fingers, keeping them still as he tried to adjust to the overwhelming touches on his body.

 

Louis fucking hated hickeys, but he couldn't deny that he liked how much Harry loved making them. How he seemed to take pride in sending him to the paps and the public with obvious indications of their activities in plain view for them to see and photograph. It was kind of hot.

 

"I think you could. You've come from just my cock before." Harry crooked his fingers and grinned at the shudder that wracked Louis' body as he pressed into his prostate. "Louis?" He prodded gently.

 

Louis nodded, forehead still pressed against the tile, "Yeah... Think I could."

 

Harry rubbed his thumb over the rim, where his fingers were moving in and out, "When I was cleaning up your room I found your toy box. Use them often?"

 

Louis shook his head, "N-no. I don't like using them by myself." He admitted, no shame in the revelation. He'd more or less suspected that Harry would have found his box when he'd said he'd cleaned his room, and he wasn't embarrassed by the things he had.

 

"Found a plug in your dresser though. The sparkly red one. Is that your favourite?" Harry pushed in a third finger, purposely hitting his prostate only on every few thrusts.

 

"Yeah. Put it in when I wank."

 

"Fuck." Harry muttered, the imagery almost enough to make him forget his plans and instead opt to drag Louis to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. He could see Louis bothering to prep himself and put in the plug, laying back on his bed and using his hand to get off while he was filled up. Harry somehow managed to avoid bringing a hand to his aching cock, thanking sheer determination. "Wanna eat you out. Is that okay?"

 

"W... what? Um... Okay, I guess." Harry pulled out his fingers and Louis looked over his shoulders, watching as he got on his knees and faced his bum. He turned back to the wall when he gripped his cheeks, spreading them apart. He was a bit anxious, but definitely very horny and excited too.

 

Harry rubbed his thumb over his hole, watching Louis stiffen at the contact. He brought his thumbs to the rim, pushing the tips of both fingers in through his tight walls and spreading him open. Louis whimpered at the sensation and at the frustration of waiting for Harry to do something _more_.

 

Harry sucked one final mark into his hip, too tempted not to, and felt like he'd made Louis wait long enough and went straight in. He kept his thumbs inside him and licked over his hole, earning a loud gasp and curse from Louis.

 

His thighs had already been tired from footie, but they started to shake at the one touch and he wasn't sure he could make them stop. Louis placed one hand on the bath faucet and the other went up to take hold of the shower head for support.

 

He'd need it, since Harry was absolutely relentless.

 

Harry licked over his hole, taking time to suck at his rim before pushing his tongue inside, using his thumbs to keep him spread open so he could reach in deeper. Moans and the sound of his name falling from Louis' mouth like a chant only egged him on further, adding his index fingers to stretch him even further and continuing to thrust his tongue in and out of his hole.

 

Louis couldn't keep his mouth closed, whimpers and moans escaping when he tried, and nonsense when he didn't.

 

"Harry, please, fuck. Fucking shit, feels so good. Please. Harry, Harry, please."

 

He pulled off after a couple minutes, drool slipping down his chin and a trail linking his lips to Louis' hole, "Think you can come from this, or need anything else?"

 

"Yes, yes, yes, bloody hell, just don't stop!" Louis restrained from shouting, but knew his voice was high and croaky despite his efforts.

 

"Okay, okay."

 

Harry didn't hesitate to return to his ministrations, tongue diving right back in.

 

There were goosebumps on his skin, but he felt flushed from head to toe, every inch of him burning with desire and unbidden pleasure. He rocked back into Harry's face trying to get more pressure, and Harry stayed still and let him, simply continuing at it like there was nothing in the world he'd rather be doing.

 

"So close, Harry, please don't stop. Fucking shit." He let the words pour out, feeling the build in his stomach as his orgasm drew nearer. His dick ached, pressed up against his stomach and demanding attention. Louis knew he could come without touching himself though, could feel that it was going to hit him soon. There was a part of him that didn't want to cum yet, wanted Harry to keep going, but it was too much and he needed release more than anything else.

 

Louis let out a shout he didn't bother holding back as he came, body shaking and legs going numb. Harry drew back his hands, placing them on Louis' waist to keep him steady while he continued to fuck him with his tongue until he started whimpering with oversensitivity.

 

Harry pulled his mouth away and helped a shaking Louis into his lap, legs no longer able to keep him standing. His chest and the wall were stained with his cum, a red flush was spread from his cheeks to his collarbones, and his breath was coming out in short bursts - all in all he was deeply sated.

 

Louis closed his eyes and leaned his head against Harry's shoulder for a minute while he caught his breath. Harry pet his hair and held him until he came down from his high.

 

"You alright, Lou?" Harry asked softly.

 

Feeling like he was good enough to speak, Louis opened his eyes and pulled away to look Harry in the eyes, "Yeah, m'great. That was, um..." He let out a big breath that he was sure conveyed what he was trying to say, judging by Harry's proud smile.

 

"I'm glad you liked it." Harry pressed a kiss to his cheek and nosed at his hair affectionately, making Louis giggle and cover his mouth.

 

"I've actually never, um... No one's done that to me, or for me, before." Louis admitted, "I'd kind of wanted to try it, but no one was really up for it."

 

"Are you serious? You have the best ass I've ever seen, this is what it was made for!"

 

Louis laughed, pressing his face into Harry's neck shyly, "Almost a shame you were the first, anyone else would be subpar."

 

They took a moment to laugh and relax, but it took only a bit of shifting for Louis to feel how hard Harry still was, and he quickly brought his hands down to his dick, "I'll owe you a blowie in the morning, but for now you'll have to settle for a handie. Is that alright?"

 

Louis already had his hands on him, earning a stuttered curse and a quick nod. Louis fit both his hands on him, keeping his head on his shoulder, but looking down at his actions. He was getting into it, spurred on by the groans in his ear, yet it was only a couple tugs later that he was coming hot and quick on Louis' thigh and hands.

 

Harry was almost embarrassed, but he'd been so incredibly turned on the whole time, he couldn't be faulted for not holding off longer.

 

"Guess there wouldn't have been much of a point in a blowjob anyways." Harry said with a laugh.

 

Louis placed his hands under the water to wash them off, then returned to cuddling Harry. Now that he wasn't horny and getting eaten out, he was getting chilly and figured it was probably time for them to get out of the shower.

 

"We should get out of here." Louis said, cleaning off the rest of the cum and reaching to shut off the water.

 

"Sounds good, it's getting cold in here. And the cupcakes are probably cool enough to put the icing on them now."

 

"Then we get to eat them, right?"

 

"Absolutely."

 

Maybe two months wasn't really so long.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"Yeah, I should be coming up in a month or so. I think six weeks, I have to check the calendar."

 

"That's great, honey, the girls are looking forward to it. They've been talking about nothing else for quite some time now. It's been too long."

 

"I know, been ages since my birthday. School's been hectic this semester, I haven't felt like I could justify taking some time to come around. Midterms are over though, so things will be calm for a little while."

 

"How were they?"

 

"I feel pretty good about them, actually. I spent a lot of time studying, and since there's stuff getting done at his place Harry's been over for a while now and he was helping me study. He's quite pushy, you know, and it was good to have someone to remind me to study when I got distracted. I'm feeling confident, but I'll know for sure in a week or so if I did well."

 

"That's great, sweetie! I'm happy you're working so hard. And are you still liking the material and the field?"

 

"Absolutely. The more we move forward with the years, the more I'm sure that this is what I really want to do."

 

"And how are things with Harry? Will you be bringing him down on your next visit?"

 

"I don't know. Lottie was saying I should, but she just wants to meet someone famous. I don't know if we're... there, you know?"

 

"Were you able to have that talk with him about the intimacy thing?"

 

"Well..."

 

"Louis."

 

"Look, mum, I wanted to, I did, but... Maybe it's just in my head. I'm happy with the way things are, and I think he is too. I don't see why we should mess with a good thing because I'm scared of what _might_ happen."

 

"Like I said before, it's up to you. You seem really happy with him and I have no objections to that. You do what you feel is best for yourself, okay?"

 

"I will, and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes."

 

"Okay, honey. Hey, Félicity is here, I'm handing the phone over. I'll talk to you soon."

 

"Sure, mum. Love you."

 

"Love you too. Bye sweetie."

 

"Hi!"

 

"Hey, Fizzy..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! I was going to put it in two separate chapters, but I changed my mind and compressed it all into one since you've all been so lovely and I wanted to give you a longer chapter since I was late this week.
> 
> Thank you for being lovely :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry belated Xmas and a soon to be Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed food and family and other lovely things! I also hope you enjoy this next chapter :)

Harry was at Louis' place for a little over a week, stating that there was 'stuff' that was getting done at his place. Louis didn't care enough to question it. There had been paps outside the building again for a bit, initially due to them insisting on getting pictures of his Barbie Mobile, and then due to the obvious presence of Harry in the building, but it didn't last long enough to be bothersome.

 

At the end of that time, Louis returned home from school to find an over excited Harry waiting for him, eagerly dragging him out of the flat with something important to show him.

 

"C'mon, Lou! It took forever to get this done, but we're all good to go. You have time right? You're done for the day?"

 

"Yeah, I guess. I have homework to do, but I have time." Louis reluctantly allowed Harry to bring him to his awaiting vehicle, buckling his seatbelt and watching him being far too excited as he drove them to his place. "Did you do some remodeling or something?"

 

"Mm, sort of."

 

"Why on earth are you being so secretive about this? If all you did was repaint the living room I'm going to be very upset. I had big, big plans to do nothing tonight, and it'll take quite a bit to top that." Louis was only half joking.

 

"Don't worry, you'll like this."

 

"Sure, but you do realize you missed your turn right?" Louis said, gesturing outside the window to where they had passed the road they should have turned onto.

 

"Hm." Harry hummed softly, choosing not to respond.

 

Louis stared at him suspiciously, but didn't press it.

 

After a couple more turns Harry spoke up, "Close your eyes."

 

"What?"

 

"We're getting close, I want you to close your eyes. Make it a surprise."

 

Louis sighed heavily, but did as instructed and closed his eyes.

 

"And no peeking! Or I'll be very sad and that won't be fun for anybody."

 

"You're such a baby." Louis said, smiling at Harry's silliness.

 

"Okay, we're here! Stay there, I'll come around for you."

 

Louis sat in mild patience for the ten or so seconds it took for Harry to come around to his side and open the door. Harry took his hand and helped him out of the car, closing the car door behind them and guiding Louis along with a hand on his lower back. After several steps Harry stopped him.

 

"Okay, so I don't know if you remember, but a few weeks ago when I wasn't so good you gave me some advice. It took some time and planning, but it's done. You can open your eyes."

 

Louis slowly did so, and was mildly confused by what he was seeing. "It's um... A house. That's nice?" He looked at Harry, whom stood next to him with an adorable look of eagerness and hopefulness on his face.

 

"It's my new house! I sold the other one, and got rid of all the furniture and everything. Just like you said. I had to stay at yours while some stuff was being moved and sold and I had to get the new furniture in, it was a bit of a hassle, but at least it's over. This is Baby House 2.0." Harry held out his hands in a dramatic 'tah dah!' gesture, enormous smile on his lips.

 

"Really? Oh, Harry, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!" Louis gripped Harry's cheeks and pulled him in for several quick kisses to his lips and cheeks, "And it's so beautiful, too." He added, gaze moving over the large home. Harry had obviously toned it down though, going for a slightly smaller, more rural style home. It'd be great for a family.

 

"You haven't even seen the inside yet. Let me give you a tour, yeah?" Harry took his hand and started walking towards the front door, steps light and bouncy.

 

Harry brought him inside, and the difference was immediate. Louis had always found his older place a tad creepy due to the lack of personalization, no decorations or pictures or anything anywhere, but he'd clearly had it stored somewhere since they were now all over his new home. There were fancy artworks and family photos on the walls, colourful furniture and walls painted something other than white or beige.

 

Louis stared at the paintings and pictures one at a time, spotting mildly familiar faces in Harry's bandmates, and people he assumed were his family. They lined hallways and he found several frames in the living room - the first room Harry showed him.

 

The furniture had been changed into something brighter, with nice throw pillows and round-edged side and coffee tables. The television stand was large, a multitude of films and CD cases filling the numerous shelving spots. Louis picked up different picture frames, looking over the smiling faces in the pictures.

 

"My old place wasn't always so empty. I had all these around the house, but when things got bad I just... I didn't want to look at them anymore. Every time I'd see them, these people that I love so fucking much, I remembered how much I'd disappointed them. After a fit I'd put all of these pictures and anything relating to the band and my friends and family in the attic." Harry said, staring down at a framed picture of him and the boys at their first award show.

 

"You look really happy." Louis moved over different trophies and awards, different framed pictures of him and the boys, him and his family - the people he clearly loved deeply.

 

"I was, and I am now. And I'm really looking forward to making them proud of me again. Even if it takes a long time."

 

"I look forward to it too." Louis glanced over at Harry, standing on the other side of the room looking at other precious items, and they shared a smile. Louis returned to the frames on a shelf on the furthest wall, memorizing faces and award names, learning more about Harry and his story through the objects he held dear.

 

He paused at one frame, reaching forward slowly and gently plucking it off the shelf and holding it carefully in his hands. His fingers ghosted over the glass and the decorative wooden frame, eyes taking in the picture held in its lovely confines.

 

It was the first photo Harry had taken of them to put on his Twitter several weeks ago. There'd been many since, but this had been the one to tell the world what they were without words. In the picture Harry was kissing his cheek and Louis was blushing, but clearly content.

 

Louis turned towards Harry, wanting to ask about the photo and why on earth he'd decided to not only frame it, but place it on a shelf next to far more special and important items, but he stopped himself. Harry was smiling peacefully down at a photo of him and his family at his mother's wedding, and he chose not to bother him.

 

It felt important, but he knew asking about it wouldn't get him answers. At least, not those he wanted to hear. He simply brushed non-existent dust off the frame and placed it gingerly back where he'd found it, giving it a wistful smile as he stepped away from the shelf.

 

There were some things that didn't really need to be discussed.

 

"Shall we?" Louis asked, stepping up to Harry and indicating the hall that would lead them further into the house.

 

Harry nodded and put the wedding photo back on the shelf. He placed a hand on Louis' lower back and guided them out of the living room. He showed Louis his kitchen, just as large and decked out as the last one, then his own music room filled with instruments and sheet music and recording equipment. There were several bathrooms and guest rooms, all colourful and decorated.

 

"I hadn't realized how boring my old place was until I was packing my things and looking at colour palettes to decide what to paint the walls."

 

"I like it, the colours are really nice."

 

Harry smiled proudly at the comment. He led them to the backyard next, large patio doors set up in a second living room with a nice view of the outside. This house didn't have a pool, which made far more sense with the weather, but there was a lovely patio set with a large garden to the side. Harry had brought along his little angel statue, resting near the patio doors making soft chimes with the gentle wind.

 

He guided them back inside and brought them to a door he'd skipped over before. With an impossibly wider smile he pushed open the door.

 

"And here is the bedroom!" He exclaimed, stepping into the room and giving a little twirl.

 

Harry had switched out his old, bland furniture for a nice wooden bedroom set, walls painted burgundy with matching comforter and drapes.

 

"While packing up I noticed you've left a lot of clothes at mine, so it's all in the top drawer if you're looking for anything." Harry pointed to the dresser with the mirror attached to it. Harry walked over to Louis, wrapping his arms around his waist, "Do you like the colour? I know you like red, figured burgundy would be a good choice - not too flashy, but a bit of colour still."

 

"Yeah, yeah it's really nice, Harry. The colour is great." Louis continued to stare at the room, taking in the sight of photos and knick knacks on the shelving and a large artwork on one wall, his spare glasses on the side table on Louis' side of the bed, and their bathrobes hanging off the back of the door.

 

"Good, figured you should like it too since you sleep here as much as I do. And don't worry, it's still the same pillows just with different cases."

 

"You read my mind, Harold. Creepy." Louis joked, pinching Harry's side to get a laugh.

 

"Come on, there's still one more room I want to show you." Harry took his hand and walked them a few feet down the hall, stopping in front of the last door. He opened it and they stepped inside, Louis looking around confusedly.

 

"Did you not decide what do with it yet...?" He had a feeling that wasn't the case, but he couldn't explain the completely bare room otherwise.

 

"This, Louis, will be the first baby room. I always figured I'd have two or three, but I didn't want a bunch of empty rooms either so, one at a time. I know it's still far off, since I'm not even married or anything, and the adoption process will take forever with my history, although if it doesn't work we can always go with surrogacy, I'm not adverse to that. I just prefer the idea of adopting."

 

Louis ignored his use of 'we', knowing he hadn't meant it the way he was thinking. He ran a hand through Harry's hair affectionately and focused on the rest of his words, "I'm sure you’ll be able to adopt, Harry, I wouldn't worry too much on that. But you’ll make a great dad no matter how it works out."

 

"You think so?"

 

"Absolutely."

 

"You'll show me how to change diapers and shit though, right?"

 

Louis laughed at Harry's mild distress at the idea of changing diapers, and shook his head, "I'm sure you and your partner will be able to figure it out. But I guess I can give you my mum's tips if you'll need them."

 

Harry shot him a look that Louis was quite sure was confusion at the mention of a partner, as if he hadn't thought about there being another person involved.

 

"How old is too old to have kids?" Harry asked.

 

"Mum was in her thirties when she had the twins - you're fine, Harry. You don't want to rush it either. It's better to fuck up before having kids than during." Louis replied, rolling his eyes teasingly at the question.

 

"Yeah, guess you're right. Is it weird to be so excited to have kids?"

 

"Of course not. When you're ready, you're ready. If you think it's about time then it's normal to look forward to it."

 

"When do you want to have kids?" Harry asked, startling him.

 

"Oh, um, I don't really know. After college for sure, but I know I want kids so I don't think I'll wait too long. It's all a matter of when it's right, I guess."

 

"Right, of course. That makes sense. Hey, there's something else I want to show you. Actually there's just something I want to give you. Let's go." Harry took his hand again and pulled them out of the room, leaving the door open to show the empty room to any passerby.

 

They made their way to the front door, Harry stopping to face the cat-shaped key holder hanging on the wall. He took a rectangular item and a keyring with several keys attached into his hand and handed them to Louis.

 

"These are for you."

 

"What are these for?" The rectangular item was a box type thing with a large button on the front, and the keyring held two different keys.

 

"This," He pointed to the box, "Is a garage opener. You can put your car in the second garage. And one key is for the door inside the garage and the other one is for the front door."

 

"Are you sure you don't need the garage space? Or are you too ashamed to have my car in front of your house." Louis laughed, placing the items in the backpack he'd left near the front door upon first entering the new house. Harry hadn’t given him a copy for his other house, though he’d had one for a long time while his car was being repaired, but Harry often left the door unlocked or Louis would go through the back door. Yet taking the key as a permanent gesture didn’t feel strange at all, seeming a natural progression to what they had.

 

Besides, if Louis had to drag Harry out of the bath to open the door for him because he’d forgotten to put the spare key back under the angel statue one more time he may have gone insane.

 

"No, no, I sold a couple cars, is all. I didn't really need that many to be honest. Better for you to have a place to put the Barbie Mobile." He explained as the two slowly made their way back to the kitchen by Harry's guiding hand.

 

"Well, thanks, Harry. If you change your mind let me know. And the place is really wonderful, by the way. It's perfect for you, and it'll be great for a family when the times comes for it. Even better than the old place."

 

Harry gave his hip a gentle squeeze and he shot him a shy smile, "Thanks, Lou! I'm glad you think so, I was really hoping you'd like it. You have no idea how many times I wanted to come clean and tell you so you could help me out with getting furniture and choosing colours and shit, but I wanted to make this a surprise."

 

"You succeeded there! I'm buzzing for you, love, you seem really happy with this." Louis leant back against the kitchen island, letting Harry step between his legs and hold him tightly.

 

"I'm so, so happy." Harry agreed, arms loosely wrapped around Louis' shoulders and putting most of his weight on him, "You were right. I mean, I didn't doubt you, but I was still... I didn't want to get rid of my house. But I trust you, you know? And once I started getting this done, it was like I was closing that part of my life and starting something completely new. Does that make sense?"

 

"Absolutely." Louis reassured him. He wasn't sure Harry could understand how happy and proud he was for all the hard work he'd evidently put into this enormous change, but he could at least try to show his support as well as he could.

 

"I haven't been this happy in so long. In years, even. I used to think that the drugs and the alcohol made me happy, but now that I'm genuinely happy I know that I wasn't - it didn't make me happy. It only numbed everything else."

 

"I know what you mean."

 

"There was just one more thing I wanted to tell you." Harry said, keeping his gaze down to hide the huge grin on his lips.

 

"And what's that?" Louis tried to get a glimpse of his face, but after his words Harry looked up, eyes shining and toothy grin in place.

 

"I called Liam. He answered and he knew that it was me on the line, which means he still has my number on his phone! And - and we talked and he agreed to meet with me!" Harry exclaimed, voice higher pitched in his excitement and limbs shaking with energy.

 

Louis stared at him for a moment, mouth open in genuine disbelief, then he smiled brightly and threw his arms around Harry. He held him tightly, pressing kisses to his hair and cheek, laughing all the while, "Oh, Harry! That's amazing!"

 

Harry gripped his waist and hoisted him up into the air, spinning the two around on the spot. After a moment he slowed down, their lips meeting in a warm, gentle kiss as Harry lowered him back to the floor.

 

"Fuck, Harry, that's awesome!"

 

"We'll be meeting up sometime this week. He said he'd text me when he could come down to London. To be honest I didn't think he was going to answer, but he did and he was a bit... I don't know. Hesitant, I guess? But he must have seen the articles and stuff too, or else I don't think he would have agreed to meet with me."

 

They were silent for a long moment, having few words that could express what they were feeling at the news. They kissed in the silence, short closed-mouthed press of lips and soft touches wherever their hands wandered.

 

"M'scared." Harry admitted through kisses.

 

"I'll be with you every step of the way, promise." Louis gently scratched Harry's scalp with his nails, eliciting a low moan from his lips, "Wanna break in the new bed?"

 

Harry laughed, the brief thought of fear disappearing as he nodded eagerly at the suggestion. He bent down and smoothly picked up Louis bridal style. His steps were quick and mildly balanced, bringing them to the master bedroom in a few short seconds. Harry gently laid Louis down on the bed and climbed on top of him, wasting no time in pressing their bodies close.

 

Harry grabbed Louis' thigh and brought it around his waist, fixing the angle before rocking his hips down and pressing their clothed erections together. He pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down Louis' neck, the hand that wasn't on his thigh making its way under his shirt. Louis tugged sharply on his curls, one hand pressed up against the headboard at the sudden friction on his cock.

 

"The movers I got to help me empty out my old house were very impressed with the marks on the wall behind the bed." Harry stated after one particular thrust had the headboard smacking against the wall.

 

"Not even naked and we're already bangin', huh?" Louis laughed, pulling his hand away from the headboard. Harry joined in on the laughter, stopping his movements and resting his weight on top of Louis as they kissed softly for a short while, letting their breathing slow down. They'd gotten a tad carried away there, and as Louis stated, they hadn't even started taking their clothes off.

 

Once they had sufficiently calmed down, Louis started tugging off Harry's clothes, impatient to continue. He left him in his briefs and let Harry help him take off his own clothing, only pushing him off after kicking off his jeans. He gestured Harry to the side table on his side of the bed, and he was quick to meander over to get their supplies.

 

Louis laid back down in only his boxers, humming softly and taking in the feel of the new sheets on his skin. They were smooth and squishy and he loved them already. He glanced over at Harry, still moving things around in the drawer.

 

"Having trouble, pumpkin?"

 

"Well, I found the lube, but I can't seem the find the condoms. Check your side?" Harry put a used bottle of lube on the bed and continued to rummage through the drawer, eventually giving up and turning to Louis.

 

Louis opened the drawer on his side of the bed, but only found socks, underwear, and some of his own crap. No condom. He reached out and managed to grab his jeans off the floor, tugging his wallet out of the pocket.

 

"None in there, but maybe..." Louis opened his wallet, and shook his head, "Nope. I didn't put another one in here after we used the last one."

 

"Probably just got lost in the move, we'll find them eventually." Harry shrugged, rolling on top of Louis and pressing kisses to his jaw, "At least we have lube."

 

Louis wiggled until Harry drew back, "Think we can find some elsewhere? Do you have a bag or anything like that? I don't have any in my backpack."

 

Harry shook his head, "No, but I'll pick some up tomorrow." He returned to his kissing, hands moving down to Louis' hips and playing with his boxers' waistband.

 

Louis gently pushed him back, shaking his head, "Or you can get some now."

 

"What's the issue? I mean, I know it's messy, but..."

 

"It's not that, Harry. Let's just stop, okay? We can finish this tomorrow or something." Louis shoved him again, getting him completely off of him.

 

"You said you believed me."

 

"What?"

 

"That I'm clean." Harry said in a whisper, seeming mildly offended that Louis may have lied to him.

 

"I do believe you, Harry, but I still-" Harry placed a hand on his thigh and Louis was quick to push it off, sitting up in the bed and glaring at him, "I said no, Harry! You don't have the right to try and guilt me into any-fucking-thing, understood? Now leave me the bloody hell alone." Louis stepped off the bed, grabbing his clothes and storming out of the room.

 

He ignored Harry calling after him, holing himself up in the first guest room he found. He took a minute to grab his backpack and stayed in the room for the remainder of the night, doing his homework and trying to ignore his own anger and frustration.

 

Eventually he fell asleep strewn across the bed with his books and papers, footsteps echoing distantly in the house and not so far, a shadow at the bottom of his door with no knock to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for the lovely comments on the last chappie! Thanks as well for your kudos :) I hope you liked this chapter and I'll see you next week!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the really lovely messages :) This chapter is a bit short but I hope you enjoy it!!!

Louis woke to small shifting movements on his bed. He blinked his eyes open, squinting at the sunlight falling through the open blinds. He groaned and turned over, eyes locking onto Harry's own surprised gaze.

 

"Oh, hey. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. Was just putting these away." Harry mumbled, holding up a few of Louis' school items.

 

"Ah." He laid on his stomach, looking up at him calmly. His anger from the day before had mostly melted into a subtle disappointment instead, and he didn't have the energy to be confrontational.

 

Harry quietly finished removing the things off the bed and then knelt down on it near Louis, being careful to keep some distance between them.

 

"I, um..." Harry took a plastic bag off the side table and emptied its contents on the pillow in Louis' line of vision, "I got these this morning."

 

Louis took one of the items, already knowing what they were before reading the name on the box. There were at least two dozen boxes of condoms. He only made a sound of recognition, not yet willing to form words.

 

"I'm sorry, I was so grossly in the wrong, I-" Harry cut himself off, releasing a long sigh and moving to lay down in front of Louis so he could look him in the eyes, "I'm sorry, Louis. I shouldn't have pushed like I did, you have full right to say no whenever you want and I have no say in that."

 

"Hm."

 

"Can you say something - anything? Yell at me if you want, I can take it. Just... Talk to me." Harry made a move to reach out for Louis' hand resting on the pillow, but stopped.

 

"You know, eventually you're going to have to believe me when I say I trust you." Louis said softly, voice cracking from lack of use.

 

"I... I know, I'm sorry. I know you trust me, I just don't understand why... If it's not about being safe then why does it make a difference if we use a condom or not? ...Nevermind, it doesn't matter. You can make your choices and I have no right to disagree with them. I promise I won't be pushy like that again, and I didn't mean to try and make you feel guilty, I... Fuck, this isn't coming out right, is it?"

 

"Ehh, it's alright. Could use some work though." Louis teased softly, Harry laughing shyly in reply, "I know it seems weird, okay? But I do believe you, and I know you would never actually force me to do anything, I just..."

 

"You don't need to explain yourself to me. You don't need to explain yourself to anybody over this, but especially not me. I was looking forward to a nice night with you, and when it wasn't going according to plan I felt threatened and I pushed. I am so genuinely sorry for the way I behaved and I hope I... I hope I didn't hurt you in any way."

 

Louis stared at Harry quietly for a long while, Harry choosing to keep in silence until Louis was willing to speak. He did, eventually, speak up after bringing a hand forward and lacing their fingers together in the space between them. "I forgive you, Harry. I know you didn't mean to be pushy, and I'm sorry for-"

 

"Please don't say sorry. I don't - you didn't do anything wrong. You... I..." Harry stuttered as he tried to form his words, an issue he'd had since he was little but had thought he had mostly overcome since stardom. Apparently not.

 

Louis brought their hands up to his lips and kissed Harry's knuckles until he quieted down, "Harry, I only want to apologize for being defensive and storming out like that. I understand that you have a hard time believing that I trust you, and I try to be patient, but... It's a little frustrating for me, and I need you to understand that."

 

"I do. I get it, I... But I do believe you!" Louis' gaze stayed steady and firm, and Harry could only continue to be flustered as he tried to explain himself, "I mean, I'm trying really, really hard to believe you... I want to believe you, and sometimes I do, but other times I forget. Or I remember that, well, why would you trust me? I, fuck, Lou I don't want to doubt the intentions of every single person that's nice to me, and God knows you don't deserve that, but..." He let out a frustrated groan, turning his head into the pillow to hide his reddened cheeks.

 

Louis kissed his hand one more time and shifted a bit closer to him, rubbing his cold toes against his ankle, "I know it'll take time, but we do it together, yeah? We just gotta be a bit more patient with each other."

 

Harry looked at Louis' gentle smile, and returned it hesitantly, "Yeah, okay. And you, um, you really forgive me?"

 

"Yes, love, I forgive you. Let's avoid a repeat though, okay?"

 

Harry reached behind himself and brought his hand back between the two of them, a couple colourful boxes in his large hand, "I think we'll be alright for a while."

 

Louis took one of them, eyes trailing over the printed words, "You do know that you can't use flavoured condoms for sex, right? Or were you hoping for extra blowjobs?" Louis teased, pointing to the label on the box indicating the chocolate flavour.

 

"I wasn't paying attention to that, to be honest, but since we have them..." Harry trailed off suggestively.

 

Louis dropped the box and lightly punched him in the shoulder, "Arse."

 

They laughed, moving a bit closer to each other and calming down together in the silent bedroom. Louis threw the boxes aside and let out a sigh.

 

"It's stupid, you know, why I won't... Obviously a big thing is safe sex, but when it's not so much about that it's - ugh, it sounds really dumb out loud." Louis shifted uncomfortably until Harry laced their hands together again. He stilled then, going ahead with Harry's wordless assurance, "It has a lot to do with how my mum taught me about sex, I think. The idea of having sex without a condom is - I find it intimate. I know it's dumb, but to me sex in itself is more or less just fun and nice and stuff. When you go about not using a condom it brings something else to the table. Shit, this sounds really stupid doesn't it?"

 

"No, not at all. Keep going." Harry encouraged and Louis nodded.

 

"Okay, um... Like it seems more intimate because there's this aspect of trust, right? Like you trust them to be clean and that they won't risk your health for sex that just feels better, or whatever. And that they trust me just as much, too. But it's more than that. I got the straight sex talk before the gay one, and my mum made a point to tell me that if you don't use a condom be ready to have a child. And I know it doesn't apply to me, and I know it seems stupid, but it sounds... Nice to me. The idea that you only go without when you're really in love with that person and looking to start a family with them."

 

Louis stayed silent then, trying to gauge Harry's thoughts. When nothing was showing itself clearly to him he let out a groan, moving forward and burrowing his face in Harry's neck feeling too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

 

"I know it's stupid. I know, I know, I know - having sex for me isn't making a kid, but it still _feels_ like it would be as intimate as if it were."

 

"That's... Really, really sweet Louis. There's nothing wrong with finding intimacy in certain things."

 

Louis pulled back, looking at him doubtfully, "Really? You don't think it's weird?" Louis' tone heavily implied he didn't believe him.

 

"Oh, yes, it's definitely weird. Oi!" Harry threw his leg over Louis' thighs to hopefully avoid another knee to the crotch from his miffed boyfriend, "There's nothing wrong with weird either! I've never heard anyone think about sex like that before, so it's new to me, but if that's what matters to you then I'll leave it up to you if we ever do that, okay? It doesn't make a difference to me as long as we still get naked. Often."

 

Louis gave up trying to wiggle out of Harry's strong hold, letting himself boil in his ridiculous body heat, "You're awful." He jibed half-heartedly, "It's not that I don't find sex intimate, I do, but it's like two different levels of intimacy. I'll probably be disappointed if I ever do have sex without a condom, but at least the thought was there."

 

"Hm." Harry hummed in neither agreement nor disagreement, "Well, like I said, it'll be up to you. I won't bring it up again."

 

Louis glanced down at their hands, still linked together between them, and he didn't respond.

 

"Can we agree on something though?" Harry cut in a moment later, "If we ever have another fight or something like this - can we not do the going to bed angry thing? I wanted to give you space, but I wanted to come see you so bad too. What if we agree on a timeframe of sorts? Like we give each other space for an hour and then we can talk again?"

 

"Sure, Harry." Louis agreed easily.

 

"Good," Harry sighed in relief, "I didn't like knowing you were upset and only a couple rooms away. Felt like I should have been in here too."

 

"Yeah, I didn't like it either... How about a half-hour timeframe? Then if we need more time we just say so."

 

"Agreed." Harry nodded eagerly, relaxed grin on his lips, "Now I _may_ have a bowl of pancake mix ready for the cooking and a bunch of chocolate chips to mix into it. So if you want to laze a bit I'll call you when it's cooked."

 

"Yes!" Louis exclaimed happily at the mention of food, but gave Harry a suspicious look, "Surprised you haven't brought up make-up sex."

 

"Food first, then sex. Have I taught you nothing?" Harry laughed and jumped off the bed, narrowly avoiding the pillow Louis threw at him.

 

"Make those pancakes with extra chocolate chips and then we'll talk, Styles."

 

"Of course, my darling." Harry performed an outlandish bow and was quick to exit the room before Louis threw something else at him.

 

If only one of his ex-boyfriends had been able to figure out that food was the way to his heart, he wouldn't be single. But then he wouldn't have amazing pancakes, and he couldn't quite decide which was better.

 

Mm... Pancakes.

 

**OoOoO**

 

(From: Haz 2:12 p.m)

I'm pretty sure you're the only person who'd wear a McQueen original in the rain.

 

(From: Lou 2:15 p.m)

A what?

 

(From: Haz 2:16 p.m)

My purple jumper.

 

(From: Lou 2:18 p.m)

I guess it didn't dry well...?

 

(From: Haz 2:19 p.m)

I'd be upset if it wasn't kind of hilarious.

(2:20 p.m)

I've reorganized my closet - jumpers on the left are good for all weather, the right not so much.

 

(From: Lou 2:21 p.m)

I'll keep that in mind. Sorry about the jumper.

 

(From: Haz 2:21 p.m)

There are people who would cry if they could see this jumper now. I'll let you off the hook with a massage.

 

(From: Lou 2:22 p.m)

Uuuuuuggggghhhh

 

(From: Haz 2:22 p.m)

xx


	12. Chapter 12

"This was a bad idea. Why did I think this was a good idea? It's a terrible idea. I've changed my mind, let's just go home."

 

Louis rolled his eyes and reached out to grab Harry's hand, placing it on the gear shift and patting it gently.

 

"It'll be fine, Haz. It's only a cup of coffee."

 

Harry groaned and stretched out in his seat, resting his head back and closing his eyes. His hand was shaking in Louis' grip. "It's more than a cup of coffee! He'll take one look at me and he's going to remember why he hates me and it'll all go to shit."

 

"I'm going to be right next door if you need me, okay? Take a deep breath and remember why you wanted to do this in the first place. He can't hate you that much if he agreed to meet you anyways." Louis let go of his hand and reached over to run his fingers through Harry's curls to sooth him. Harry leant into his touch, turning his open and terrified gaze to Louis.

 

"I'm gonna fuck up."

 

"No you won't, baby, you'll be fine."

 

Louis wanted to be a little more empathetic, but Harry had been saying more or less the same things for the past three days and he was growing mildly annoyed.

 

"Can't you go in with me? I'm sure Liam wouldn't mind."

 

"I'm not going in with you. I'll be right next door if something happens, but like I said, you'll be alright without me."

 

"I'm not convinced."

 

Louis only sighed.

 

He pulled the Barbie Mobile into the Starbucks parking lot and set the car in park. He turned to Harry, whom was still looking at him with big, frightened eyes. Louis scratched at his scalp, the fear melting into something more relaxed.

 

"Go in there and make me proud alright, Mr. Styles?"

 

Harry moved forward, placing his head on Louis' shoulder, a loud groan filling the otherwise silent car, "I can't do this."

 

"Oh, hush you. You'll be fine. Aren't you the one who's supposed to be the mature and brave adult here?" Louis teased, slowly pushing Harry off him so that he could meet his gaze. Harry only sighed. "Okay, um... Well, don't you want to teach your future kids that there's nothing wrong with owning up to your mistakes and apologizing? As the parent you need to put action to words."

 

Harry sat up then, placing a hand to his heart and dramatically looking upwards, "Ouch! You've successfully guilted me, Mr. Tomlinson, I hope you're proud of yourself."

 

Louis laughed, shaking his head, "Come on you dork. You can't keep him waiting."

 

"Yeah." Harry agreed, turning somber once more.

 

"I'll be right there, okay?" Louis said, pointing to the library a couple buildings away.

 

"Okay."

 

"You'll be amazing." Louis tried to reassure him, although he had a feeling it wasn't really working, "Go in there and be brave, I know you can do it."

 

Harry nodded, hands reaching out for him. Louis moved forward, letting Harry grip his cheeks and pull him in. Harry kissed his forehead and his cheeks, pressing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss that had Louis giggling, and then he kissed him on the lips. It was soft and sweet, a gentle touch to gain his strength.

 

"I can do this." Harry said confidently after parting their lips.

 

"Yeah." Louis agreed, smiling brightly.

 

Harry leant forward and kissed him shortly, "I'm off before I chicken out. I'll text you if I need you to come save me."

 

"Sounds good."

 

Before he could, in fact, chicken out, Harry opened the car door and stepped out. He looked up at the large sign with the familiar logo on it, and with a shaky breath made his way into the coffee shop without looking back.

 

With wandering eyes he found Liam sitting in a booth towards the back, as out of sight from everyone else as they could make it while still being in public and held to certain decency standards. Not that Harry thought either of them would start yelling or cursing or anything of the sort, but he figured it would still be best for their first meeting after so many years.

 

He quickly got himself a drink from the barista and then made his way over to Liam. He wasn't sure if he'd been spotted, so he awkwardly stood nearby, waiting for some recognition.

 

"Hi." He said shyly, feet shuffling awkwardly.

 

Liam glanced up from his phone with a friendly smile in place, "Hiya, Harry." He gestured to the seat opposite himself, and Harry slowly slipped into it. "How are you doing, mate?"

 

"I'm... I'm good. How are you?"

 

"I'm pretty good."

 

"How are..."

 

"The boys are good. Your family's good too."

 

That had been one of the reasons he'd wanted to meet with Liam first. He'd always had this parental air about him, partly because it was how he was and partly because when the band had formed one of them had to be responsible and he was the only one up for the challenge at the time. Liam often knew what Harry wanted to say before he could get the words out, and he loved him for it.

 

"That's good. I'm glad."

 

"You seem happy. And better."

 

"I am, I really am. Almost three years since..." Harry took a sip from his sugary drink, letting the sentence hang as he knew Liam would understand.

 

"That's great, Harry. I can tell you've been working really hard, and I think that's really, really awesome for you."

 

"Thanks, Liam. I've been trying and it wasn't always easy, but I had good motivation."

 

"Your family is looking forward to talking to you again." Liam told him and placed a hand on his wrist in a friendly gesture, "And I was so glad to hear from you, I can only imagine how happy they'll be."

 

"You think so?" Harry asked before he could stop himself. He took another sip from his drink, hoping to hide his face behind it.

 

"I do." Liam reassured him quickly, "I'm happy you decided to give me a call. I was hoping to hear from you soon."

 

"I wanted to reach out to you sooner, but... I wanted to be sure I was in a good place first."

 

"Nothing wrong with taking the time you need. It's good that you're in a good place now. I've heard you've been writing again, is that true?"

 

"Yeah! Yeah, it's true. I've been writing with Aisha and Julian. It's almost like old times, only better. I've moved to a new place, it’s even got a little recording room to work on some music. It was Louis' idea, and he was totally right. The move has cleared my head and it's like everything's been put in perspective. You know what I mean? It doesn't feel as if everything's set in stone, that there's actual room to change."

 

"This Louis seems to have good ideas."

 

"Yeah, he's really great. Since I met him he's been nothing but amazing and sweet to me."

 

"A proper keeper then?"

 

"I think so. And how's the missus?"

 

They didn't have much time to talk, Liam only having a half hour to spare, but they made good use of it to catch up and share as much as possible with each other. Harry felt floaty, certain if he stood his feet wouldn't stay on the floor. After some time he reached for his phone, giving Liam an embarrassed smile.

 

"So, I was a bit freaked about coming here, and I may have dragged Louis here with me. He's at the library a couple doors down, so if you wanted to meet him before heading off I could text him to come by. If you don't mind sticking around a couple more minutes."

 

"Definitely! I'd love to meet him." Liam agreed easily.

 

Harry grinned and quickly sent off a text, phone buzzing hardly seconds later with a response. "He'll be here in a minute." He put away his phone and turned back to Liam, soft smile in place, "Thanks for meeting me, Liam. Thanks for answering my call. To be honest I wasn't sure you would."

 

Liam reached across the table and placed his hand on his wrist again, "Harry, families always have their troubles, but they're still family. You're part of my family, like it or not." He matched his smile, calm and loving as always.

 

"Thank you," Harry's voice cracked partly through his words. His attention quickly shifted to the front door where he'd been keeping partial focus since he'd texted Louis, and upon spotting him lifted a hand to gesture him over, "Lou!"

 

Louis had been a bit stressed by the text, afraid something had happened as Harry really hadn't bothered to put any context to the message, but the obvious joy on his face soothed him completely. He walked over to their table, easily spotting Liam, and stood next to Harry feeling a little bit shy. It was almost like meeting someone's relatives for the first time, except possibly worse.

 

"Louis, this is Liam, Liam this is Louis. I wanted to introduce you before he heads off." Harry wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him to his side, and gestured between his ex-bandmate and faux-boyfriend for their introductions.

 

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Louis held out his hand and Liam shook it eagerly.

 

"Same. I really have to go, but we should all get together for dinner sometime."

 

"Yeah, absolutely."

 

Liam gathered his things, taking a moment to shake Louis' hand again and give Harry a long hug and a pat on the back. The two boys waved him off, saying their goodbyes and other parting promises of future plans. Once he was out of sight, Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's temple then moved to sit in the now empty seat across the table.

 

He placed his chin in his hands and stared at Harry until Harry couldn't take it any longer, cracking a huge grin and laughing lightly from his hardly suppressed joyful energy.

 

"Fuck, Lou." Harry reached out and took Louis' hands in his, bringing them towards himself. He placed them against his own cheeks, palms feeling the heat of his flushed skin, and Harry kept a grip on his wrists to keep them in place, "Fuck I'd missed him so much."

 

Louis tilted his head as a means to incite him to continue, choosing to keep quiet to avoid shattering any of Harry's current fragile state of bliss.

 

"It was... so good, Lou. So, so good. He forgave me, and he really believes that I'm doing better. He said everyone's doing well and hoping to hear from me. I don't know if I'm quite ready for that yet, but when I am, it's reassuring knowing that they're expecting me to reach out to them. Thank you so much for pushing me to do this. Somehow you always know exactly what I need."

 

"You should probably thank the psych classes for that. You want another coffee or want to head out? We can keep chatting there. There's just a lot of people watching." Louis had gotten used to random people staring and taking their picture, as that was the point of what they were doing, but it didn't mean he had to like it or make himself endure it longer than necessary.

 

"Sounds good." Harry placed soft kisses on Louis' palms then let go of him, grabbing his own things and preparing to leave.

 

Harry threw out his empty coffee cup and reached out for Louis, who was quick to slip under his awaiting arm.

 

Hardly one step out of the building Louis was able to spot his car, the bright pink torture to his eyes. At least he could find it in parking lots now.

 

In front of the car they shared a long kiss, verging on inappropriate for public, "You're the best." Harry drew back to whisper against his lips.

 

"Mm. You did good, Hazzah. I'm very impressed." Louis reached into his back pocket, pulling out his keys and trying not to be distracted by Harry pressing kisses to his cheek and jaw. He pressed the keys into Harry's hand that had been slowly creeping closer to his butt. "Drive and I'll give you head on the way home."

 

Harry gave him a quick peck to his lips and grinned brightly, "Okay!" In less than two seconds he was already tugging open the driver's side door.

 

Louis shook his head, taking his time to slip into the passenger side. The car was started before he could properly buckle himself in, and he laughed at Harry's obvious eagerness. Well, he couldn't be blamed, he'd be eager too.

 

"Don't drive too fast now, or we won't have time to finish." Louis teased. He placed the part of the belt that would normally cross over his chest behind himself, giving him more liberty to move.

 

"Oh, we'll finish." Harry spoke lowly, heated gaze making Louis flush.

 

Louis leaned across the center console, placing one hand on Harry's upper thigh and laying warm, open-mouthed kisses to his jawline and neck. He grinned at the shiver he received in response.

 

"Let's just try not to get into an accident." Harry finished the sentence with a breathy moan.

 

"You're the one driving, babe." Louis reminded him. He moved his hands to the top of his jeans, working on opening the button and pulling down his zipper. "Good thing the windows are tinted. That'd make some nice shots for the papers."

 

Harry spread his legs as much as he could in the confined space, foot already shaking on the gas pedal. His eyes stayed fixed on the road, but he couldn't help glancing at Louis every once in a while.

 

"Lift your bum a bit." Once he did as asked, Louis tugged his jeans a bit further down his thighs and palmed at his half-hard cock in his briefs. "Excited aren't we?"

 

Harry only let out a shaky breath.

 

Louis pulled down his briefs, freeing his dick. He took it in his hands, moving his dry hands slowly to avoid hurting him and slowly stroked him to full hardness. He brushed a thumb over his slit, precum slowly gathering into drops, and brought the finger into his mouth to lick it clean. With one foot beneath himself to have a bit more height, he easily reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet and from that the condom he'd bothered to remember to replace.

 

He opened the packet, throwing the wrapper on the car floor - ignoring the look he got from Harry - and smoothly rolled it into place. Without wasting any more time he bent down and took his dick into his mouth.

 

With one hand at the base to keep it in place, he used the other to keep his own fringe out of his eyes. He slowly started bobbing his head, working his throat to take a bit more on each downwards movement. He didn't like pushing himself and ending up gagging, didn't like the feeling of it, and always took the time to readjust himself to the feel of a cock in his mouth.

 

There was spit dripping down and he could feel it on his fingers. Louis placed his tongue flat against the underside of his cock, feeling the bumps of his veins despite the rubber. He continued to bob his head, hollowing his cheeks as he moved upwards, incited to do better by Harry's shaking limbs all around him.

 

He could hear the motor quiver as Harry's shaking foot had the gas pedal moving sporadically. He tried to suppress it, but he couldn't help it.

 

"Fucking Hell, Lou." Harry reached one hand down, and moved aside Louis' hand that was pushing back his hair to replace it with his own. Louis used it to stroke what he couldn't get in his mouth, adding wanted friction. Harry kept his hand in his hair, hand moving with every movement of his head.

 

Somehow he managed to get the car turned into the driveway with only one hand on the wheel, not wanting to remove his grip from Louis' hair. He reached out with his other hand and clicked open the garage, taking a moment to enjoy Louis' constant movements before driving in.

 

As the darkness of the garage surrounded them, Louis pulled off with a satisfied sigh. He looked up at Harry as he put the car in park with a shaky hand. His hands stayed on his hard cock, knowing he was close, but that he'd need a bit more attention before he could orgasm. They moved slowly, but without intention to get him off.

 

"Home already?" His jaw hurt, and he could tell it had been a few minutes, but it had still gone by pretty fast. Harry must have been speeding quite a bit.

 

Harry had kept a hand in his hair as Louis had pulled away, and now used his grip to roughly pull him into a kiss. He went in with his mouth open, tongue going in to taste himself on Louis' tongue. It was messy and hot, Louis moaning heavily at the lust and desire in his actions. As he often did with Harry, he allowed himself to be guided.

 

Harry ran a hand over his side and down to his bum, touch firm and rough as he gripped him tightly. Louis had already been seated sideways and leaning over the center of the car to be in the right position to get his mouth on his cock, but Harry's touches had dragged most of his body over the middle of the car and largely leaning against him.

 

"Out." Harry ordered, pressing one more heated kiss to his lips before stepping out of his side of the car. He didn't bother fixing himself up, leaving his cock out with his jeans open at his waist.

 

Louis stayed still for a moment, lips wet with spit and cheeks red from exertion and arousal. Eventually the simple command kicked in. He returned to his side of the car and hastily opened the door. As he closed it shut behind himself, there was already a hand on his wrist dragging him away. Harry only brought him to the front of the car.

 

There was one rough kiss and then Harry was turning him around, bending him over and pushing him against the hood of the car. Harry laid on top of him, pressing his chest to his back, and pressed his crotch into his bum and his lips to the back of his neck.

 

"I'm gonna fuck you right here, okay?" Harry muttered against his skin. He moved his hips slowly against Louis' bum, Louis pushing back as much as he could under Harry's weight.

 

He nodded quickly, now the one whom was shaking from head to toe, "Harry, please."

 

Harry pulled away, placing both hands on Louis' waist and reaching around to his front. He undid his jeans and with his fingers hooked into both his jeans and boxers pulled both of them down to his ankles. One finger traced his rim, the tip sinking into his warm heat and eliciting a whimper from parted lips.

 

Louis wasn't sure whether to pull away from the mild burn or to push back for more, but before he could make up his mind Harry had withdrawn his hand and his body completely.

 

"I'll be back with some lube. Don't move." He gave his ass a squeeze before exiting the garage.

 

Louis heard the door open and close, and then the garage was completely silent except for his own erratic breathing. He thought about taking off his pants and shoes, but didn't end up doing it. Harry had told him not to move, and he wouldn't. He did shift a bit, pulling down his shirt to separate his skin from the warm metal of his car hood and placed himself a little more comfortably.

 

He rested his cheek against the hood, breathing calming down and body cooling off from the intense heat and rush of their prior movements. His heart rate picked up again once he could hear approaching footsteps and the eventual sound of the door opening again.

 

"H-Harry?" He called out hesitantly, though he knew it couldn't be anyone else. A silent, rough, and horny Harry was a different mix than he was used to, but he was quite enjoying it none the less.

 

"I'm here, baby." There was the familiar touch to his hips, and he let out a soft moan, "I'll take good care of you, promise."

 

Harry popped open the lube, pouring a good amount in his hand and some directly onto Louis' hole. He shivered as the cold liquid hit his skin, slowly dripping down his crack and hitting his thighs. Harry pushed in the first finger without warning, causing Louis to pull against the hold on his waist for a moment before falling back against it as the fullness feeling hit him.

 

He was rough and a bit impatient as he pushed in a second finger, moving them in and out in rapid movements. His other hand moved from his waist to his back, keeping Louis from fidgeting.

 

"Look so good like this, Louis. Proper made to be fucked."

 

Louis groaned loudly, both at the comment and due to Harry choosing at that moment to press in a third finger. Louis' legs spread further automatically, giving him more room to work. Harry continued to move the three fingers, purposely avoiding Louis' prostate and only focusing on getting him prepped.

 

"I'm ready, Harry. Fuck me already." Louis whined impatiently, trying to wiggle his bum, but Harry's strong hold on him prevented him from moving much.

 

"Your wish is my command."

 

Suddenly the fingers were gone, but Louis didn't have time to miss them. Harry slammed right in, pushing straight to the base, and it had Louis letting out a sudden scream that he couldn't hold back. As much as he was loud at everything in life, he'd never made a noise like that, but the movement was so sudden and the pleasure hit him like a rock.

 

Harry laid on top of Louis, brushing the hair off his face and kissing his neck, "You okay?"

 

There was a bit of a burn, but Harry knew his body and knew how to prep him properly, and no matter how impatient and horny he was he'd put that to use. It didn't hurt - had only caught him by surprise.

 

"I'm fine. Said you'd fuck me good, didn't you? Well, get a fucking move on it already."

 

Harry didn't need to be told twice. Standing back up, he pulled out to the tip and slammed back in, pushing Louis' body against the steel of the car. With one hand on his waist and the other on the hood for leverage, he continued to thrust in and out almost brutally.

 

Louis could do nothing but take it, pinned between Harry's body and the car. He reached one hand back, lacing his fingers with Harry's, the gentle touch enough to ground him.

 

"Fuck, you feel so good, Lou. Always so tight."

 

There was sweat in his hair and running down his neck, and he was on his toes with how hard Harry was pounding into him. Yet as much as it felt good, Harry couldn't get his prostate with the angle. Louis knew he could easily get off with a simple reach around, but Harry didn't seem to be okay with that thought.

 

He pounded into him mercilessly for a while, trying to change the angle to get his prostate, but was unsuccessful. Harry pulled out suddenly, grabbing Louis around the middle and forcing him to stand.

 

"Harry? What-"

 

"Get your pants off." He cut him off, voice low and stressed with his arousal.

 

Louis placed his hands on the hood and kicked off his shoes and pants, once done being forced to turn around by a handsy Harry. He grabbed his hips and lifted him onto the hood, guiding him onto his back. Harry brought his legs up to his shoulders, bending him in half, and without warning slammed right back in and continued where he'd left off.

 

At the sudden assault Louis' hand flew up, usually to get support from the headboard, but this time he only left sweaty fingerprints on his windshield. It took only a couple thrusts and Harry found his prostate, this angle better and more familiar to him.

 

Louis was very thankful that they had no neighbours, glad that no one could hear the noises he was making. They only seemed to spur Harry on even further, thrusting harder and deeper without Louis needing to beg for it.

 

"Harry, Harry..." His thighs were shaking, tears slipping from his eyes and rolling into his sweaty hair.

 

He reached out for Harry, bringing their chests together. Harry was still completely clothed, and Louis slipped his fingers under his shirt and pulled it off awkwardly. Once off, his hands went straight to his back, nails digging in most likely painfully. The muscles shifted under his touch and his arms flexed on each thrust.

 

The only sounds were their own breathing and skin meeting skin. Each grunt in his ear grew the feeling in the pit of his stomach that meant his impending orgasm. Harry's thrust were growing steadily sloppier, and he knew he was getting close too. They shared equally sloppy kisses, giving up and simply pressing as much of their skin together as they could.

 

"Louis, I'm close." Harry's arms were shaking now and his thrusts were completely out of sync.

 

Louis could only nod in agreement. One deep thrust against his prostate and he was coming undone. His arms and thighs tightened around Harry, a shout escaping his lips as he came between them. Only one thrust later and Harry stilled, coming hard into the condom.

 

Harry's arms gave out then, falling hard against Louis' chest. Louis placed his feet down on the hood and held Harry close, petting his hair as they both gathered their breath.

 

"Not... Not what I had in mind when I said I'd give you a BJ in the car." Louis said after several moments of silence.

 

Harry laughed, slowly pulling off of Louis' chest and meeting his gaze with a bright smile, "It's what I had in mind."

 

"Perv," Louis teased and brought him in for a gentle kiss.

 

Harry moved to press further kisses to his cheek, and then rubbed their cheeks together affectionately, "You make me feel like I'm eighteen all over again."

 

"Well, you definitely fuck me like you are."

 

Harry pouted, "I was being sweet you arse, and you made it all dirty."

 

"I'm not the one who turned into a complete caveman. And you ruined my shirt."

 

Harry drew back enough to look at Louis' shirt, and it had indeed been ruined with some spots of cum. Harry pulled the bottom of it and evaluated the damage, "Yeah, that's pretty ruined. I could try washing it, but it's probably a waste of time."

 

"It's okay, I'll replace it with one of yours. Now would you kindly get out of my arse?" Louis put a foot on his chest, placing pressure to push him backwards. Harry - often - forgot to pull out and he was quite beyond sensitive now and would rather not have anything in there anymore.

 

"Sorry." He sounded no more than half-sorry. Taking hold of the condom to make sure it didn't slip off, he pulled his now soft dick out of Louis. He was a bit sorrier when he spotted the way Louis winced at the sensitivity.

 

Harry took a second to put himself back in his jeans then left Louis for a moment to put the used condom in the trash that was in the garage. When he returned to Louis he draped himself over his exhausted form, kissing along his collarbone.

 

Louis was laying back on the car, arms out and eyes closed in exhaustion. He wasn't surprised when Harry laid on top of him again, always incredibly cuddly after sex.

 

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

 

"Mm, m'great." Louis kept his eyes closed, but his hand easily found its way to Harry's hair, giving his scalp a gentle reassuring scratch. "Had a good day, baby? Besides this part, I mean."

 

"The very best." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, hands splayed out across his back, and gently sat him up on the car. Weak and lazy, Louis kept his weight on Harry. "How about I make us a nice bath and I can tell you all about it?"

 

"Sounds fun. Carry me?" Louis reached out his arms and wiggled his fingers, giving Harry his best puppy dog look.

 

"Of course." Harry agreed, rolling his eyes at Louis' ridiculous behaviour, and then switched into a more serious expression, "But like, I know this all got a bit sidetracked and stuff, but I want to be sure you know that I really am grateful for what you've done. If you hadn't been here, I don't think I would have gone through with meeting Liam. I don't think I would have called him in the first place, honestly. You have to know how much I appreciate you and what you're doing for me."

 

"I know, Harry, really. Besides, that's what faux-boyfriends are for." Louis kissed him softly, lips closed and moving slowly, pulling away only to add, "So, bathtime? I feel really gross. My thighs are covered in lube and I have jizz all over my stomach."

 

Harry laughed and nodded, taking a moment to gather his clothes before picking him up as promised.

 

As much as it was nice to hear those things from Harry, they weren't necessary. Louis would do it over and over again without Harry ever needing to ask. He was fond of him, and of course would support him and encourage him to do what would make him undoubtedly happy. It wasn't exactly rocket science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all soooo much for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter!! You were all so kind and I'm so happy that everyone is enjoying the fact that I'm having the boys communicate! It means a lot that you all seem to be happy with the direction this story is going and to update the story is a bit passed 101K words now. Thank you all so so so much for the comments and kudos and I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness. Thank you all so, so much for the comments and kudos! You all have no idea how happy they make me :) I hope this chapter will make you almost as happy as I am!!! <3

"Hello."

 

Louis was a bit surprised to get home from work to find Harry laying across the sofa on his back, up enough that his head was off the armrest and hanging in the air. Louis walked over to him warily, staring down at him and greeting him to get his attention.

 

"Hey." Harry had his eyes closed, and didn't bother to open them or even move in the slightest.

 

"What's all this about then? If I'd made this kind of mess you'd be all over my ass." Louis was referring to the absurd amount of paper littering Harry's living room, many crumpled up and thrown in various directions. There were a few different pens and pencils too, and his laptop open on the table and his phone near it.

 

"I'm always all over your ass, just for different reasons." Harry didn't even need a second to think of that, and Louis knew for sure then that he hadn't been abducted and replaced with a messy alien.

 

"So?"

 

Harry groaned, and still with his eyes closed, brought his hands in the air and spread his arms out in a cuddle invitation.

 

Louis stepped in front of the couch and rather than lay in his arms as he was clearly hoping, he sat on his stomach instead.

 

"Oof!" Harry breathed out, mostly in surprise, and sat up on his elbows to meet Louis' gaze with a glare, "Jerk."

 

Louis got up and moved to sit on his thighs, giving him the ability to sit up, as well as the clear indication to do so. Rather, Harry only laid back down again with a dramatic sigh.

 

"They hated everything!"

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"The writers I'm working with. They hate everything I’ve written."

 

"Oh, are they back? You didn't tell me you were meeting up with them."

 

"They texted me this morning to let me know they were back and had some time to work with me. I went with the stuff I've been working on since they left, but they didn't like a single thing." Harry put an arm over his face, letting out a frustrated groan.

 

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sure they didn't hate it though. What did they actually say?" Louis gave his stomach a loving pat, quite positive that the writers hadn't said they hated his work. Louis had seen some of it and had liked quite a bit of it. Some of it definitely needed some work, but it wasn't so bad as to hate it.

 

"They said it seemed too forced, that I didn't put enough soul into my writing. What does that even mean? I worked so hard on it, too, but I guess maybe I'm not really cut out for writing my own songs."

 

With a little sigh Louis shifted around, placing both his legs on either side of Harry and moved up his body until he could lean over the headrest and look Harry in the eyes, "That doesn't sound like they hated anything. It just means they think you can do better, and you can. You're very good, but it still takes practice - like anything else in the world."

 

Harry pouted, wrapping his arms loosely around Louis' shoulders, "I was hoping they would like something at least. There were a couple they thought I could work with, and I've been trying, but..." He looked off to the side and towards the scattered papers.

 

Louis bent down and kissed him, only his hands on the armrest keeping him from toppling forward. When pulling back he took hold of Harry's shirt and dragged him back with him, giving him no other choice than to sit up with him.

 

"Well, let's take a look then. Where's one of the original pieces?" Harry pointed to one paper that was still on the table, and Louis leaned over to grab it, fiddling around until he found a pen, "What have you been writing on?" He commented as he continued to look for something solid that he could put the paper on.

 

Under a stack of papers he found one of his school books, and he held it up with a grin, "I knew I'd left this one here! Okay, so let's see here."

 

Harry sat with his arms around Louis and his head leaning sideways against the couch, watching as Louis looked over the song he'd been working on. That was the one he'd really wanted to work out the kinks, as he knew it had potential if done correctly. Unfortunately, he was having a hard time putting the words together.

 

"Oh, this is one of the ones you showed me, yeah I like this one. I get why they think there's a bit to work on though. The wording is a bit... wordy."

 

"Do you write a lot, Lou? You mentioned once that you like to write music sometimes, right?" Harry, uncomfortable with the position, took a strong hold of Louis and maneuvered them until his back was pressed into the couch with Louis still in his lap. He brought his feet up on the coffee table, mussing up the papers even further.

 

"Yeah, sometimes. I'm not very good, obviously not a professional or anything, but it's fun. Maybe we can work on this together? If you want to like, bounce around ideas. I know you find it easier when you can say the stuff out loud." Louis bit shyly at the tip of the pen, a bit scared he might be overstepping boundaries of sorts. The music was Harry's thing, and he didn't want him to think he was trying to push himself into that part of his life when he already shared so much of it.

 

Of course, he didn't need to worry since Harry was always grateful for his help in all matters, "Sounds great! I've been going mad trying to do this on my own. It's a bit lonely, to be honest."

 

"Okay." Louis smiled and shifted around, placing his back to Harry's chest and putting his book on his lap where they could both see the paper on it.

 

"Do you have any schoolwork to do first?" Harry asked.

 

"Nope, I'm all caught up for once. You're stuck with me until tomorrow." Louis looked over his shoulder and gave Harry a cheeky grin.

 

Harry smiled in return, giving his cheek a quick peck, "Lucky me."

 

Louis giggled, hiding his mouth with his hand, and turned back to the song, "I can totally see where you were going with this, but it's just not flowing quite right."

 

"I understand that I'm meant to be putting my thoughts and feelings into the things I write, but it's hard. And I'm not quite sure if... I don't know if I want to write about that part of my life. I'm not proud of it."

 

"You don't have to be proud of something to talk about it. You went through something difficult, and you came out on top in the end. What you went through is something that a lot of people can relate to, and you putting it in your music would be a good thing. For you and for the people who'll listen to it."

 

"I suppose so. Maybe we should see if we can manage to make something presentable first."

 

"Yeah." Louis agreed. He scratched out a part on the page and wrote a few words next to it, "How about something like that instead?"

 

Harry stared at it a moment, then nodded, "And then this could go like..." He took the pen from Louis' loose grip and scratched out the following line and modified it a bit, putting his replacement under Louis', "That?"

 

"That's great."

 

They continued to scratch out lines and rewrite them in the margins, both offering different word choices and making lines all over the page. They worked on a beat to match their words, getting an idea of how the chorus and verses would work. It took a while, the air calm and quiet as they whispered to each other, but eventually they had something that Harry was happy to bring back to the writers.

 

Harry leant his head back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling, "They better like this or I swear I give up."

 

Louis finished re-writing the song on a clean sheet, making a brief memo on the bottom of the string of notes they'd agreed they liked for the chorus. He set the book and papers aside, turning to rest against Harry's chest.

 

"No you won't. And I think they'll like this one, and if they do then you'll have a better idea of what they're looking from you for the next one."

 

Harry wrapped himself around Louis, who easily nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck, "Yeah, that's true."

 

"Can we have fajitas for dinner?" Louis asked suddenly.

 

"Sure, Lou."

 

"Yay." He cheered softly, followed by a yawn.

 

"Had a long day at work?"

 

Louis shrugged, "Mm. It was alright. Was work, ya’ know. Tired though."

 

"Wanna cuddle and watch a movie?" Harry offered and Louis nodded.

 

"Yes, please. Can we keep up with the Marvel movies?"

 

"Obviously. We were at _Thor 2_ , right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Alright, I'll get us set up then. Want something to drink?"

 

"No, thanks."

 

Louis moved off of Harry's lap and watched patiently as he put in the movie and turned off the lights. He returned to the couch and laid down, arms open for Louis to crawl on top of him and get settled into his favourite cuddle position. Harry started the movie once he was comfortable, and the two prepared themselves for a lazy evening with movies, food, and cuddling.

 

**OoOoO**

 

(From: Haz 12:04 p.m)

Nothing happened I swear.

 

(From: Lou 12:08 p.m)

???

 

(From: Haz 12:09 p.m)

The pictures with Aisha.

 

(From: Lou 12:11 p.m)

Still no clue what you're talking about.

 

(From: Haz 12:14 p.m)

Oh, sorry. I thought you would have seen them since they're fucking everywhere. I literally gave her a hug and now everyone is talking shit and I did fucking nothing but be nice to a friend. They’re such fucking gossip hungry pieces of shit, they're worse than I remembered.

 

(From: Lou 12:16 p.m)

Ah, I've found it. Don't worry about it babe. We both know you wouldn't do something like that. That's all that really matters.

 

(From: Haz 12:19 p.m)

I know, I just hate how they think I would do something like that to you. You know they once said I was fucking my sister? They don't even take two seconds to do their fucking homework and then they make me look like shit for something I would never do. Assholes.

 

(From: Lou 12:21 p.m)

Go take a long bubble bath with your fancy tea and I'll braid your hair when I get home, okay?

 

(From: Haz 12:25 p.m)

You're the best. Thanks for the tweet by the way. I would have said something if I thought I could keep it PG.

 

(From: Lou 12:26 p.m)

No problem. Now put away your phone and go relax. I'll see you soon xx.

 

(From: Haz 12:27 p.m)

Thanks babe x.

 

**OoOoO**

Louis Tomlinson _@Louis_Tomlinson_

Apparently Harry and I broke up? That'll make our dinner date tonight a bit awkward.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"Hey there, princess." Louis strolled into the foggy bathroom, rolling his eyes at Harry's sprawled out form in the large tub. The bubbles were low and he had a discarded book laying page down on the floor. He only groaned at the comment. "Enjoying your bath?"

 

"It'd be better if you joined me." Harry crossed his arms over the side of the bath and laid his head on them, fixing a tired gaze on Louis.

 

"Obviously. Gimme a sec." Louis left the washroom to put his school stuff away and change out of his clothes. He wrapped himself in his bathrobe and took out a pack of elastics from one of Harry's drawers before returning to the washroom.

 

"Lou... Louis...!" Harry was singing his name loudly, continuing on as he closed the door behind himself.

 

"Harold," Louis scolded ineffectively with an affectionate smile on his lips, "Move up, I'll do your hair."

 

"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch-"

 

"Adele? Really? Move over you loser."

 

Harry continued to sing as he did as Louis asked, watching as he removed his bathrobe and slipped into the tub behind him, laying the elastics on the edge of the bath. He stretched his legs out on either side of Harry and wrapped his arms around his middle to hug him, pressing a gentle kiss to the nape of his neck. The water was warm, but Louis was sure Harry had just added some to heat it up.

 

"You're all wrinkly." Louis commented, grabbing his hands and looking at his pruny fingertips.

 

“I _may_ have been in here all day." Harry shook his hair, launching droplets all over the washroom and Louis, "Do you still want to braid my hair?"

 

"Of course, love. Want me to wash it first?"

 

"Ooh, yes please!" Harry nodded eagerly.

 

Louis started doing so, cupping water in his hands and letting it fall on his head, being careful not to let any leak into his eyes, and combed his fingers through his hair to untangle any knots.

 

"Had a long day?" Louis asked while he continued to wet Harry's hair.

 

"Mm. Eventful."

 

"I'm assuming it's not just the thing with Aisha."

 

"Yeah... Although that's fucking bullshit. I went to write this morning and as a decent human being I walked her to her car. I gave her a hug, but the way they talk about it I may as well have had my pants down. Fucking pricks."

 

"Mhm."

 

"And I'd never cheat on you! On top of that she's married, and this bullshit could impact her relationship - they don't think before putting shit out for people to see."

 

"Well, I know you're not doing anything, and I'm sure her spouse will think the same." Louis spread some shampoo in his palm, gently rubbing it into his scalp as Harry slowly relaxed into his touch.

 

"I guess. It just... makes me so mad. And today was good, too! They loved the song we wrote and I got a call from my old management team!"

 

"Your management team?"

 

"Yeah, they managed me and the boys, helped us make our sound and prepare for tours and stuff. We're gonna have a meeting tomorrow to look over another contract. Liam told me he wasn't up to making more music yet, since there's lots to do before our band is whole again, but they offered a two year contract which could be exactly what I need."

 

Louis paused briefly in his ministrations, but continued on before it was noticed. As much as Harry was excited by the idea - Louis wasn't.

 

"That's.... That's good, babe, but um, are you sure? It's great that they want to sign you again, but..." He rinsed out Harry's hair, glad he didn't need to face him as he spoke. He pulled out the first elastic and started on the first braid.

 

"But what?" Harry sounded disappointed, definitely due to his lack of excitement, and he was very glad he couldn't see his face.

 

"Nothing, nothing, I just... Well, I mean, they kind of... let you do all that stuff back then. It doesn't seem like they did much to help you." Louis moved onto the second braid, trying to stammer out something that wouldn't upset him.

 

"They're not baby-sitters. My fuck ups were my own, there was nothing they could do. I know them and I know how they work, and I'm really looking forward to this opportunity... I thought you would too."

 

"I..." Maybe it was a conversation that could wait, "I am. I'm so happy for you, I always am, you know that. I'm just looking out for you, that's all. But if you think it'll be fine, then I trust you." Louis pressed a soft kiss to his back, feeling his tense muscles relax again, "When are you meeting with them?"

 

"Tomorrow morning, they have a contract and everything. If all goes well I could be on my way to making proper music again by this time tomorrow. Thank you for looking out for me, but I'm feeling really good about this and I think it's the right thing."

 

"If they want you to sign a contract, why don't you bring it home before signing it? You can take the weekend to look it over and you can give it to them Monday. I'd feel better if you did." He almost felt bad for guilting him with that last part, but he was too worried not to use all the cards up his sleeve.

 

Harry let out a sigh, "Lou..."

 

"Please? I won't say anything else about it."

 

Harry looked over his shoulder with a grin on his lips, giving Louis a peck on the lips, "You always have something to say, but okay. I'll bring it home."

 

"Thank you. And you know I'm happy for you, it's good that you're getting back on the horse and all that." Louis closed off the second braid, smiling proudly at his results. He sat up on his knees and draped himself over Harry's back, pressing kisses to his jawline, "Done!"

 

Harry reached back to touch the braids, and with a happy smile turned his head enough that he could kiss Louis on the mouth, "Thanks, babe."

 

"Don't worry about it. We should get out of this tub before you shrivel up completely. I'm not sure you'll still be hot if you become a prune, and I'd rather not find out." Louis stood up, using Harry's shoulders for support, and wobbily stepped out of the tub.

 

"You won't think I'm sexy when I'm old and wrinkly?"

 

"You're already old." Louis teased and held out both hands to help Harry stand.

 

"But not wrinkly!" Harry said and allowed Louis to pull him up, limbs a bit sore from having sat in the bath for so long.

 

"Not yet."

 

Harry's only response was to wrap his wet arms around Louis, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. Parting, he looked down at their feet and the wet floor and frowned at their mess, "Tsk, tsk, you've made a mess of my clean floor."

 

"No, _you_ made a mess of your floor. I was only the innocent bystander." Louis wrapped one arm around his neck and brought him in for another kiss, reaching out blindly with the other arm for the towel he knew was hanging nearby. When his fingers met the soft material, he tugged it off its holder and gently placed it on Harry's shoulders. "But as fabulous as I am, I'll get us dried off."

 

As Louis used the towel to wipe Harry down, Harry spoke up with a hopeful look on his face, "I really hope this works out for me, you know? It's been so long and I'm ready to get back into it. If my old management is willing to take me back, I could be releasing an album or touring - or both! - in just a few months. Otherwise, it could take me that long just to find another team who's willing to take me."

 

"There are probably loads of people willing to work with you if you looked. People know you're doing better, Harry, and they know what you can do."

 

Harry took the towel from Louis after he'd finished drying him off and took his turn to wipe Louis down, "You just... You don't know how it works, Louis."

 

"Yeah, I guess." Louis mumbled.

 

Harry, currently drying off Louis' legs, was surprised by Louis' tone of voice and straightened up, staring at him with concern, "What's wrong?"

 

"Nothing, I'm fine. I, um, I have some homework I should get to. But are you alright now? Feeling better?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Thanks." Harry asked, clearly confused by Louis' sudden withdrawn behaviour.

 

Louis placed the wet towel on the sink and gripped his bathrobe, slipping it on and tying it up at the waist. He stepped up to Harry and gave him a quick kiss on cheek, "I'll be in the living room if you need me, okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

Louis left the washroom, feeling hurt but not quite sure why. Maybe he'd think on it and talk to Harry again, but maybe he wouldn't and let it go. He wasn't sure what he wanted.

 

He was very sure though, that he didn't enjoy the fact that he didn't want to wrap himself around Harry in bed that night, not wanting his touch and his warmth for the first time in what seemed like a long time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... Enjoy...?

Louis dropped his book bag on the kitchen table right next to a pile of papers that he glared at disdainfully. He ignored it for the time being, working on pulling out certain books and homework from his bag that he'd work on that night. There were footsteps approaching and he didn't look up as Harry entered the dining room.

 

"Hiya, Lou!" He greeted cheerfully.

 

"Hey." He replied, leaning into the embrace Harry quickly wrapped him in.

 

"How was school?"

 

"It was good. How was the meeting?" He didn't draw it out, knowing how badly Harry wanted to talk about it, though he was dreading the conversation to come.

 

"It went amazingly! They're really looking forward to working with me again and reinventing my image. We'll do two albums and one tour next year. If all goes well they might sign me for longer. They want to do a bit of a test run to see how it goes."

 

"And this is it then? The contract?" Louis picked up the pile of papers, briefly glancing over the first page before returning his focus to Harry.

 

"Yes, sir! One contract ready for the signing." There was a hint of hesitance in his excitement, and Louis knew he was to blame.

 

"Mind if I go over it a bit with a cuppa? Not that I know much about contracts, but..."

 

"But you'd feel better, I know. It's fine, go ahead. Julian sent me some samples he wanted me to record on, so I'll be in my studio if you need anything."

 

"Okay." Harry kissed his cheek as he headed off, but it wasn't as heartfelt as it usually was. Louis glared down at the contract, blaming it for the tension between them.

 

Now alone in the room he prepared himself a cup of tea and then settled down at the kitchen table to look over the contract.

 

As he'd suspected, most of it was legal jargon that he didn't understand, forcing him to pull out his phone more than once to search up words. Several small printed clauses had him feeling uneasy, and a quick Google search later he knew why. If Louis had to guess, it was probably the same contract they had given him the first time, and he probably hadn't read it back then either.

 

The cup of tea emptied and the air stayed quiet as he flipped page after page, trying to read as much as he could but losing focus at some points. Eventually he got tired, both from reading and from the material itself. He got angry too, not with Harry but with the people trying to take advantage of him. Again.

 

Louis grabbed the contract and took fast strides to Harry's recording room, standing outside the room until the music stopped. Once it did he made his way in, the door hitting the wall mildly too violently. Harry startled at his entrance, glancing confusedly at Louis. He took off the headphones and clicked a few things on the fancy technology in front of him before making his way to Louis.

 

He threw the contract on a nearby table with other recording equipment that he didn't recognize, "This is trash."

 

Harry licked his lips anxiously, taking a step towards Louis, but hesitating to close the distance completely, "Louis, I'm sure it seems a lot weirder than it is, but that's what those kind of contracts look like. It's the kind of thing all musicians sign."

 

"Have you read this thing? It's fucking bullshit. No singer in their right mind would sign that."

 

"Okay," Harry said conciliatorily, "What bothers you about it?"

 

"Everything! Jesus Christ, Harry, do I have to spell it out for you? The thing is crap. Anything you do, any music you make, doesn't belong to you. It all belongs to them. All these songs you worked so hard to make, if you release them through this team they take ownership of them and that's messed up! And - and you can't say anything on social media without consulting them, and they have access to all your passwords? What about bloody privacy? And it says they're allowed to set you up on meetings, and we both fucking know they mean dates, with whoever they want. Wasn't that the issue before? They wouldn't let you date who you wanted?"

 

Harry opened his lips to try and speak, but Louis only kept going, voice slowly raising in pitch and arms moving around in frantic gestures of frustration.

 

"And they control every single thing the media says about you, any articles get run through them. So wouldn't that have been the case before? Why would they have let all those news people talk such shit about you the last time around? They were making money off you and didn't care how much it was hurting you, because you know no matter how bad off you were they were still making money and that's all they bloody cared about. You and I both know that you would never have gotten so bad and done those things if the media didn't put it in your head that that's where you were headed. And-"

 

"Louis!" Harry cut him off, voice sharp and thick, "They were never responsible for my issues. May as well blame the boys for not stopping me, or my mother for raising me to be a fuck-up. There's no blame anywhere but on me. They're a management team because they manage you, of course they have a say over my social media and the paparazzi and articles and all that. I'm sure it's odd to you, but it's actually normal."

 

"And why would they let the journalist and all those assholes talk shit about you if they have a say over it, huh? As soon as they saw you weren't well they should have let you stop touring and had you getting help sooner."

 

"The media would have talked shit with or without permission, and I'd signed a contract, Louis, I can't just quit out because I'm not well."

 

"You were dying!"

 

"And that was my own cross to bear! Not theirs, not anybody's."

 

"They should have cared, they should have done something."

 

"It's not their job to care. Their job is to help me make music. That's all. Anything else is on my shoulders."

 

"And you think that's normal, do you?"

 

"What would you know? Were you there? Were you in my place? No, you weren't! I know what I'm doing here, though you obviously don't seem to think so. Why couldn't you just... support me in this?"

 

"I have always been supportive of you, Harry, and you bloody well know it! I'm sorry if I'm not going to be happy about you making a really fucking stupid decision."

 

"Fine then, don't be happy! Go be fucking miserable elsewhere, okay? I'm done arguing about this. I'm signing this contract whether you like it or not."

 

Harry grabbed the papers in a tense grip, shouldering past Louis and slamming the door behind himself.

 

Louis wasn't sure when he'd started crying, but it was a while before it stopped. He wasn't surprised when half an hour passed and there was still silence. Maybe he'd gone too far. Or maybe Harry had.

 

He spent the night in an entirely different bedroom, debating on going to his own apartment but feeling like that might seem like giving up.

 

And he wasn't ready to give up yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Sorry. Don't hate me? I was going to put more to this, but I kinda wanted to leave it here too.
> 
> Anywho - thank you all so so so so ridiculously much for the comments and kudos!!! You have no idea how much joy it brings me :) You're all wonderfully lovely <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a chappie for anyone who needs it :)

"Hello?"

 

"Hi, Liam? This is Louis."

 

"Louis? Harry's Louis?"

 

"Well, I guess... Um, I'm sorry to trouble you. I stole your number from Harry's phone, and wow that sounds creepy, but I don't mean like... See, Harry's gonna do something stupid, or well I'm really sure it's stupid, but he won't listen to me, but I'm sure he'll listen to you if you talk to him and-"

 

"Woah there, slow down a bit. What's going on?"

 

A loud sigh.

 

"Okay, right, sorry. You see, Harry's looking to sign with a management team, and that'd be great really if he wasn't looking to sign up with the same team he had before with you guys. Obviously I don't know everything that happened, but from what Harry has told me and what I've noticed they were pretty shit to him. I told him I didn't think he should sign with them again, but we argued and he's gonna do it anyways. Am I wrong for thinking it's a bad idea? I even read over some of the contract to see if it protected him at all, but it doesn't, and... I'm sorry for calling you so suddenly, but I'm really worried about this. Am I wrong, or...?"

 

"... He wants to sign up with our old team? He has the contract and everything?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Oh, Harry... Okay, I'll be over as soon as I can. Don't worry, Louis, I'll talk to him. You're right, it's not... It'd be really bad."

 

"Thank you so much, Liam. Harry's at home for the day, I'm pretty sure anyways. We haven't spoken since last night... Do you have the new address?"

 

"No, actually. Text it to me? I'll be by in a couple hours."

 

"Alright, thanks again, mate."

 

"Don't worry about it. Let's see what we can do, yeah?"

 

"Yeah..."

 

"See you soon."

 

"Bye, Liam."

 

**OoOoO**

 

While the previous night had been filled with tension and their drawn out anger, that morning was only lots of awkward and residual frustration. Louis gathered his stuff and settled into the second living room, knowing Harry didn't go there and wouldn't without intention.

 

He doubted he'd come around for a chat.

 

It was while the shower was running that he slipped into the bedroom to steal his phone off his dresser, copying Liam's phone number down in his phone and returning to the living room to give Liam a call. A happy sigh left his lips as he hung up, glad it had taken so little to get Liam to agree to talk to Harry.

 

He'd been assuming that Liam would simply give Harry a call, but if he was willing to take the trek down to his place to talk to him meant Louis had been more than right in assuming the decision Harry was looking to make was a bad one.

 

Harry, unlike Louis, hadn't set himself up in only one room, too stressed to stay still. He moved from one spot to the next, making his bed and doing the dishes, watching one show on TV then recording more work in the studio, watering the plants in the yard then reorganizing the medicine cabinet.

 

He couldn't settle and was almost glad for the ringing of the doorbell in the early afternoon, only realizing he hadn't actually been expecting company as he stepped up to the front door. Thoughts too disorganized to care, he threw open the front door and stared in confusion at the random, but not unwelcome, guest.

 

"Liam?"

 

"Hey, Harry!"

 

He took a step back to give Liam space to enter, watching in confusion as his old bandmate stepped into the house and took off his shoes.

 

"Not that I don't enjoy the company, but um, what are you doing here?"

 

"Louis called me." Liam admitted, not feeling the need to lie.

 

"Oh, bloody Hell!"

 

Liam was clearly taken aback by the outburst, hands up in a defensive gesture, "Harry-"

 

"Why couldn't he just mind his own fucking business? I don't need you here to lecture me too!"

 

"I'm not here to lecture you, Harry. I'm only here to talk. And he's looking out for you and you know it, don't be mad at him for trying to talk sense into you. Now make me a cuppa like a proper host."

 

Harry ran an agitated hand through his hair, nodding at the suggestion, "Fine, fine." He walked off, expecting Liam to follow, "For fuck's sake..."

 

In the kitchen Liam settled at the island and Harry set about making them some tea. It wasn't the most uncomfortable silence ever, but it was close to it.

 

"So, um, how you been?" Liam asked conversationally.

 

"I'm sure you know. Been talking to Louis behind my back often?" Harry placed the drinks on the island with enough force to make them clink against the wood, leaning back against the opposite counter with crossed arms and a scowl on his lips.

 

"Don't be a dick, Harry. He called me this morning because he was worried about you. He told me you were thinking of signing with our old team. Is that true?"

 

"I will be signing with them. They've offered me a two year contract."

 

"Have you even considered that he might be right?"

 

"He doesn't know-"

 

"And I do. And I think he's right. They were shit to the lot of us, Harry. I have little faith that they've changed either."

 

"Like I told Louis, everything that happened I brought on myself. It wasn't their job to fix my addictions."

 

"Who brought you to that point in the first place?"

 

"I-"

 

"Who forced you to stay in the closet? Who was okay, and even approved of the articles showing you as some absurd manwhore? Who encouraged you to go to those parties with all those druggies because it made you look 'cooler'? It wasn't us, and it wasn't you, now was it?"

 

Harry remained quiet.

 

"Who told you that you could be a faggot, or a singer, not both? Who told you to avoid spending time with your family, since you don't want people thinking you're a 'family man', or you know, a decent human being. Who patted you on the back and said it was great the first time you showed up to a meeting high as a fucking kite? Who-" Liam somehow kept his tone level as he brought up more and more shreds of the past that Harry had tried so desperately to forget.

 

"Enough! I... I get it, okay? I..."

 

"Then why on earth would you even consider signing with them again?"

 

"Who else will?" Harry uncrossed his arms and stepped around the island to take a seat near Liam, face softening into something disheartened.

 

"What?" Liam asked softly.

 

"Who else would be dumb enough to sign me? At least this time around I know what I'm getting into, and maybe I can work through their shit... Hopefully without relapsing."

 

"Harry, there are loads of people who'd love to sign you. Have you even bothered to look? Ask around and you'll be surprised. Is there really such a rush that you need to be signed today?"

 

"I..." Harry sighed, "It's been three years. I want to sing again, I want to feel like I'm... _doing_ something. I want to make you guys proud of me. I want Louis to be proud of me."

 

Liam reached out and gave Harry a gentle pat on the back, "Mate, I think we're all awfully proud of you, and it has nothing to do with the singing and all to do with you."

 

"You think so?"

 

"Yeah, Harry, I do."

 

He crossed his arms on the table and laid his head down in them, keeping quiet as he thought over their discussion.

 

"If you doubt me, you could just ask Louis."

 

Harry scrunched his face in what seemed like pain, as if he'd been hit in the stomach, "Ouch. Low blow."

 

"Mhm. Please tell me you're not going to sign with them. Promise me."

 

"I guess they weren't... the _best_ to me."

 

"They made me perform the day after I got alcohol poisoning."

 

Harry sat up, sighing in resignation, "Fine, I promise I won't sign with them. I'll tell them I've changed my mind and I'll look elsewhere. You're right, there's no rush and I can take some time to look around and find people who'll be better to me."

 

"That's what I wanted to hear. Now you need to go talk to Louis."

 

"I know, but... We got into a pretty bad fight. We've never yelled at each other like that before, it was awful. I can't imagine he wants to see me right now."

 

"He went through the trouble of calling me and asking me to talk sense into you, I don't think he's that angry."

 

"I guess it's worth a shot... Do you want to stick around? I'll make something nice for dinner. You can watch TV or something while I talk to him."

 

"Sure, Harry, that sounds nice."

 

Harry took his cold tea and emptied it in the sink, taking a minute to fix up a mug the way Louis liked. Maybe a peace offering will make him more receptive to a chat. He left the kitchen, Liam already off to watch television, and slowly walked over to the second living room on the other side of the house.

 

He'd known where Louis was hiding out since that morning, having heard the television when passing by, but had done his best to avoid the room. Now he stepped right in, gaze flicking from the muted TV to Louis, sitting on the couch with his school work on his lap. Louis looked up at him, expression going cautious.

 

"Hey." Harry greeted awkwardly, stepping nearer to the coffee table and placing the mug down on it, "I brought you some tea."

 

Louis took the books off his lap and moved them aside, reaching out for the mug and moving it a bit closer, "Thanks." He muttered, not quite meeting Harry's gaze.

 

"Liam came by."

 

"Yeah, I heard the doorbell." Louis placed his hands in his lap and stared down at them, for once not quite sure what to say, or where this was going.

 

Harry went to sit next to him, knees close to touching but not quite, and he let out an awkward cough into the tense air between them. "So, um..."

 

Things had never gone awkward between them before, despite the situation they were in with pretending to be in a relationship for media's sake. They were comfy and natural and almost real. This wasn't them, not how they worked together.

 

"I'm sorry." Harry blurted out, taking the plunge. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm sorry for not believing you. Fuck, I'm sorry I didn't even try to look at your side of things. I'm just... really sorry."

 

"Yeah, okay." Louis toyed with his fingers, still not looking up.

 

Harry pushed the coffee table away, clearing some space, and moved to sit on his knees in front of Louis, "What is it, Lou? What's the matter?"

 

Louis looked off to the side, not saying anything.

 

"Please talk to me. It's fine if you don't forgive me, I was an utter prat and I don't know if I can ever say sorry enough. Just tell me where you're at here." Harry took Louis' hands in his, but Louis withdrew them so quickly as if burnt.

 

Louis stood and walked off to the side, crossing his arms over his chest and keeping his back to Harry. He mumbled something under his breath, but Harry didn't catch it. He got up off the floor and made his way to him, wanting to wrap his arms around him, but keeping distance as he knew it wasn't yet wanted.

 

"What... What was that?"

 

Louis turned around to face Harry and repeated his words, "You think I'm stupid!" He shouted, and suddenly tears were pouring from his eyes, almost too quickly to wipe away.

 

"What? Oh, Lou..." Harry took the steps needed to close the distance between them, wrapping Louis in his arms and kissing his tears. "What are you talking about?"

 

"You think I'm stupid." He repeated, pushing Harry back.

 

"I never said you were stupid, Lou." His hands moved towards him, wanting to hold him and comfort him, but he stilled them as it was obvious Louis didn't want his touch.

 

"But you do! Everybody does." Louis wiped at his eyes, face red and eyes puffy.

 

"You're not stupid, Louis. Nobody thinks you're stupid."

 

"That's not true!" Louis shouted and turned around for a moment, holding his hands to his mouth as he tried to calm his erratic breathing. Harry stayed quiet then, waiting for him to gather himself and continue. Louis did after a moment, slowly turning around and speaking in a less hysterical tone, "Everyone thinks I'm an idiot, Harry. They always do. It's like, I feel like I try so hard, but then my teacher will still hand me a failed test, look me in the eyes, and tell me I'm never going to amount to anything."

 

"A teacher said that to you?" Harry said softly, but Louis only spoke over him, too lost in his thoughts.

 

"Or when I'm in class and I want to answer a question, teachers ignore me because they think I'm too stupid to actually know the answer. Do you know, they actually laughed at me when I said I wanted to go into psychology? None of them even wanted to help or offer advice since they thought it'd be a waste of their time. Is there anything I can say that people won't assume is fucking shit? Been told more than once ' _at least you're pretty_ '."

 

"Louis... Oh, Lou, come here." Harry hugged Louis' shaking form, one arm around his waist and the other hand in his hair, and this time Louis didn't push him away. He leaned against Harry, letting out sobs that he tried to suppress unsuccessfully. "I promise I don't think you're stupid, you're so far from stupid. I swear. I was defensive and I didn't want to hear what you had to say, it had nothing to do with what you were saying. You're super smart Lou, and those people are just cunts. Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like this."

 

Louis grabbed Harry's shirt tightly and buried his face in the crook of his neck, enjoying the comfort and wanting to hide.

 

"Liam was able to bring up some stuff that you had literally no way of knowing, it had nothing to do with how smart you are. You were making sense the whole time, you really were, but like I said - I didn't want to hear it. God, Lou, you have to know that I don't think you're stupid. In no way, shape, or form. I promise."

 

Louis pulled back to meet Harry's gaze, taking a moment to gauge the truthfulness of his statement. He wiped at his face again, breath slowing and shaking mostly stopped.

 

"Okay... I believe you. I'm sorry, Harry. I just, I get so self-conscious about this sort of thing and it really gets to me. I'm sorry for freaking out on you."

 

"Hey, hey, hey, no. Don't worry about that, it's fine. If I ever - ever - say or do anything that upsets you, especially like this, you need to tell me right away. No keeping this sort of shit to yourself, okay?"

 

"Okay." Louis agreed, voice subdued and much calmer than it had been before.

 

"Good. You're old teachers were proper cunts, weren't they? Well, jokes on them 'cause you're fucking awesome."

 

Embarrassed, Louis covered his face with his hands, trying his best not to smile. Harry took his wrists and forced his hands away, pressing gentle kisses all over his face to hear his giggles.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't come to you when I should have, I knew you were upset, but..."

 

"It's fine, Harry. You were upset too, and I think maybe we both needed the extra time." He went on his tiptoes to press a long kiss to his lips, for the first time in a couple days everything right between them again. Although he still asked, to be sure, "Are we... Are we okay?"

 

"We're brilliant. If you want us to be, that is."

 

Louis smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I'd like that."

 

Harry returned the smile, leaning forward and pressing their foreheads together as they stood wrapped around each other in comfortable silence.

 

"I've missed you." Harry muttered after the silence had stretched on for a long while.

 

"We've been in the same house." Louis pointed out, laughing at his typical Harry behaviour.

 

"Not the same."

 

Louis put his hands on Harry's cheeks, pulling him in for a series of short kisses, "I'm sorry for stealing Liam's number, by the way. You know I don't normally go into your phone, but you know..."

 

"Thanks for looking out for me. You're the best." Harry brushed it off, not at all bothered by Louis going into his phone, "And he's gonna be staying for dinner. I'm thinking lasagna."

 

"Oooh, lasagna... Wait, so he's just like... Out there?" Louis pointed to the living room exit that lead to the rest of the house.

 

"Yeah, probably watching TV."

 

"So... We should probably be going then. Shouldn't just keep him waiting."

 

"Hmm... I think he could wait a lil' bit."

 

Louis laughed and pushed him away before his hands could reach his bum. He took his tea mug off the table and grabbed Harry's hand, tugging him out of the room. Louis brought them to the main living room, Liam sitting on the sofa with the TV on what Louis was pretty sure was some kids cartoon. He didn't pay it too much attention.

 

"Liam! Mate, good to see you again." Louis let go of Harry's hand and joined Liam on the couch.

 

"Good to see you too." They shook hands and shared soft smiles, Liam kind enough not to mention anything about Louis' puffy and red eyes.

 

"I was thinking lasagna, Liam. That sound good with you?"

 

"Yeah, sounds great."

 

"Alright, I'll make sure I have the ingredients. You two behave!"

 

"No promises!" Louis called out as Harry left the room. He turned to Liam once he was out of sight, "How're you doing?"

 

"I'm good, how're you? Better?"

 

"Yeah, much better. Thanks so much for coming all the way down to talk to him." He sipped at his cooled tea, gaze flickering between the cartoon on TV and Liam.

 

"Don't worry about it, Louis. Anything to help. I'm glad you called. This could have turned into a proper mess if we hadn't changed his mind." Liam threw an arm over the back of the couch and turned a bit to face Louis, "How long have you two been together now?"

 

"Oh, um... Three months, I think? Not too long."

 

"Well, you both seem very happy together."

 

Louis blushed at the comment, "Thank you."

 

"This might sound selfish, and I know it's not your job or anything, but I'm really glad that he has you looking out for him. It's nice knowing that there's someone with him that cares for him as a person."

 

"Well, you know, I just think it's important that we support each other."

 

"That's good. And I see he still cooks."

 

"Oh, yes. I mean, why else would I be with him if it wasn't for the food?"

 

"I feel the love."

 

Louis glanced over at Harry, standing at the living room doorway with a forced pout, "What? Did you think it was your sparkling personality?" Louis teased.

 

Harry approached them and took a seat next to Louis, throwing his arm around his shoulders, "I was hoping it was my big dick, actually."

 

That earned him a smack in the face with the closest throw pillow Louis could get his hands on, "Perv!"

 

"Liam, you've met Louis, right? He's sweet, isn't he? Best thing I ever did." Harry continued to tease, ignoring the glare Louis sent his way.

 

"I'll smother you in your sleep, Styles!" Louis threatened, hitting him with the throw pillow again. "Was he always such a perv?" Louis directed this at a laughing Liam.

 

"Eeh, more or less." Liam said through his laughter.

 

"I'm gonna go get started on dinner. Pretend to behave, won't you?" Harry gave Louis a swift kiss to the cheek and stood from his seat.

 

"Yeah, and I'll see how many embarrassing stories about you Liam has up his sleeve."

 

Harry groaned as he left the living room, leaving Louis and Liam laughing in his wake.

 

Things were right again, and they were going to do their best to keep it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so, so, so much for the comments and kudos on the last chapter! I'm glad you enjoyed it, although it broke my heart to write aha :) Hope this makes up for the sadness! More shenanigans to come! Thank you, and please feel free to leave a comment or kudos!
> 
> <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Here's a longer chappie for your reading pleasure :) Please enjoy!

"Honey, you're coming home in a week and you still haven't told me if you're bringing Harry or not. Have you even brought it up?"

 

"Not... quite. I don't know if I even _want_ to bring it up. Well, I want to, but I don't know if I should."

 

"At this point I don't think it makes a difference. If this is still for image sakes it'd be good, and if it's more than that it'd be due time anyways."

 

"I guess. I'll talk to him tonight after class."

 

"I want an answer tomorrow morning, okay?"

 

"Yes, mum. Promise."

 

"Good."

 

**OoOoO**

 

"So..."

 

Harry looked up from his plate and frowned at him suspiciously, "Yes?"

 

He could have started that better and less awkwardly, but he was feeling awkward and it almost felt fitting.

 

"Yeah, so I'm going up to Donny next weekend. For the, uh, long weekend." Louis kept his own gaze down at his plate, picking up another bite and chewing into it to keep himself busy. He had a feeling it shouldn't be this awkward.

 

"You've mentioned... You must be pretty excited."

 

"Oh, yeah, yeah I am. Super excited. I was um, thinking that, I mean, if you want... Would you want to like, come with me...?"

 

Harry's face suddenly softened from suspicion to a gentle smile, "To Donny?"

 

"Yeah. Mum said it was cool. So, if you don't have anything to do and you want to come, you like... can." Louis peeked up at Harry, looking up completely upon spotting his joyful expression.

 

"I'd love to go, Lou. God knows you've told me enough about your family it'll be like I've already met them." Harry teased, causing Louis to laugh and shrug at the truthful statement.

 

"They're looking forward to meeting you. The girls don't know anything about this thing, but I've mentioned you and they've seen some of the pictures, so they’re obviously pretty curious."

 

"I can imagine it must be weird for them. Are you sure you want me to come, though? I don't want to impose on your family time."

 

"No, no, it's cool. I, uh, I want you to come." He admitted shyly, but Harry only continued to smile warmly.

 

"Okay then. I look forward to it."

 

**OoOoO**

 

Louis had been nervous to invite him and at the idea of introducing him to his family, but as the week went on it smoothly faded to excitement. It was far past time for him to return home and see his family, and the fact that Harry would be there with him was quite... nice.

 

"Hazza! Do you know where my footie stuff is?" Louis called from his bedroom. They'd packed up everything they would need from Harry's the night before and had gone to Louis' that morning to make sure he'd left nothing important behind.

 

"It's already in the car. I packed it up two days ago."

 

"Oh." Louis said sheepishly, turning from his closet to see Harry leaning on his doorframe.

 

"Everything's packed and ready to go, promise."

 

Louis crossed the room to him, wrapping himself around Harry and letting himself relax into his embrace. "Sorry, I just don't want to forget anything. I always forget something."

 

"Don't worry babe, I'm very sure we're all good to go. The only thing missing from that car is your lovely bum. Shall we?"

 

"Yes, yes, let's go." Louis gave him a short kiss before making his way out of his room and out of the apartment. Of course Harry would have everything ready days ahead of time, Louis really needn't have worried.

 

Harry followed him out, locking up behind them and hesitantly taking his seat in the Barbie Mobile. The backseat had their bags for the weekend and Louis took his spot in the driver's seat, putting in his keys and starting the long drive down to Doncaster.

 

It was a couple hours’ drive, but they had music and comfy conversation to keep them busy, Louis going on and on about his family and what he had planned for the weekend. They left early on the Friday morning, arriving in Doncaster around noon. Louis pulled into the driveway, parking next to his mother's minivan.

 

"The girls are going to love this monstrosity." Louis said, patting the wheel affectionately. He'd grown to love it... kind of.

 

"I'm sure they will." Harry agreed.

 

Neither of them moved to step out of the car, Harry looking anxiously out the windshield and Louis looking at Harry.

 

"You okay?"

 

Harry had been excited and happy all week about the prospect of joining Louis on his trip to Doncaster, and had shown no anxiety about it at all. This was the first time that week he'd seen Harry showing any hesitance towards the situation.

 

"Yeah, yeah m'fine. Just..." Harry turned to him, biting his bottom lip as he hesitated in proceeding, of course doing so at Louis' encouraging nod, "Do you think they'll like... like me?"

 

Louis laughed lightly, moving over the center console to place a kiss to his cheek, "Don't worry, Harry. By the end of the weekend they'll love you more than me. Let's go, yeah?"

 

Harry nodded, relieved by Louis' reassurance, "Let's."

 

Louis happily jumped out of the car, ignoring the bags for the moment and already heading towards the front door. He paused to glance back at Harry, whom was taking his time to join him. "Come on, you slowpoke!"

 

Harry shook his head at his eagerness, long legs quickly catching up with Louis, "Of course, darling."

 

Louis dragged him to the front door, knocking loudly and quickly before simply opening the door and stepping inside, calling out loudly, "Mum! I'm here!"

 

"Louis?!" His mom rounded the hall, smiling brightly when she spotted him. She walked over to him, placing her hands on his shoulders and leaving kisses on his cheeks, "Oh, honey, it's so good to see you!"

 

Louis hugged her, returning her kisses and affections. He pulled back after a moment, moving a bit to the side to put Harry more in view, "Mum, this is Harry. Harry, this is my mum."

 

She stepped around Louis and greeted Harry, "Harry, it's so nice to finally meet you. I'm Johannah, but please call me Jay."

 

"Hi, Jay. It's a pleasure."

 

Louis stepped around them, calling out for his sisters. He knew they were home, having the day off from school, and was pleased to hear their approaching steps. They appeared one after the other, launching themselves at him and exchanging hugs and kisses and greetings. He held his sisters close, trying to take them all in, petting their hair and holding them close, wanting to catch up with all of their changes in the last few months.

 

They spoke often over the phone, but it held little to seeing them in person.

 

He introduced them to Harry, the girls a bit shy but giving smiles and waves that Harry easily returned. There were lots of different voices around him, and it was hard for him to focus on one, but he looked down at Daisy as she tugged on his shirt.

 

"Is that your car outside?"

 

Louis groaned, nodding morosely, "Unfortunately."

 

"It's so pretty!" Daisy exclaimed, "Can I see?"

 

His sisters waited eagerly for his response, staring at him with hopeful gazes. He stepped to the side and waved towards the door, "After you, miladies."

 

They were quick to get around their mother and out the front door, darting straight for the Barbie Mobile. Louis moved to Harry's side and smiled at his laughing mother, "So that's what Harry did to my car. I call her 'Barbie Mobile'."

 

"Oh my goodness, Louis, it's..."

 

"Pink?" He supplied with a grin.

 

His mother shook her head in disbelief, "Very. I know you said I'd be surprised, but this is just... Wow."

 

"Yeah. I know. Think dad'll like it?"

 

"Oh, I'm sure he will." Jay said, her eyes fixed on the pink monstrosity from where she stood near the doorframe, "But at least it runs well. Dad was so upset when I told him about the trouble you had with it, he knew he should have at least asked if you'd changed the oil the last time you spoke over the phone, but he was sure you'd know to do it."

 

"Yeah, we talked about it a couple weeks ago, but what's done is done, right? Now I know. He said he'd come by tomorrow, is that still a go?"

 

"Of course. He's supposed to come by in the early afternoon, you'll have him all day."

 

"Good, good. We'll get to play some footie." Louis, not too fond of standing in the hall and remembering that there were still bags in the car, left his mom and boyfriend to join his sisters by his car, "Who wants to help bring in the bags?"

 

"Only if I get a ride!" Charlotte teased, opening the back door as Louis clicked the button to unlock it.

 

"Only maybe."

 

They grabbed the few bags from the back seat, the girls switching from admiring his car to giving him hugs and attention, glad to have their big brother home. Louis, always one for attention, basked in their affections for as long as they would last. They were still his little siblings and would grow bored soon enough.

 

It took several minutes, but they eventually moved the stuff inside and themselves away from the hall and into the living room where there was ample room for all of them to sit. Louis sat on the sofa with Harry on one side and Phoebe on the other, Daisy on his lap and the eldest two nearby. His mom joined them with some drinks and snacks, the boys a bit hungry after their long drive.

 

They chatted for a long time, talking about their weekend plans and what they'd been up to, although they spoke on the phone so regularly it was hardly necessary, and Harry spoke with them easily, charming them as smoothly as Louis knew he would.

 

Louis was never fond of doing much after long drives and hadn't made any plans for that evening, only intending to stay with his mom and sisters and enjoy their company. Harry didn't seem to mind, arm loosely placed around Louis' shoulders and adding short comments when he was addressed. Jay had prepared dinner in advance, and eventually started it up and they moved to the dining room, settling around for a nice meal.

 

"... and I swear I didn't do anything, he just fell and..."

 

"... Mum lied and said getting a cavity filled doesn't hurt. But I got a lolly after so it was okay, I guess..."

 

"... I'm so glad your midterms went well, sweetie. Can't believe you're almost done your third year..."

 

There were different conversations around him, and he tried to be involved in as many as he could handle. They chatted on through the food and beyond the time their plates were emptied and put away. Slowly it grew dark and the girls headed off to bed one after the other as their bedtimes hit, leaving Louis with his mom and Harry.

 

"Here you go, sweetie." Jay placed a couple mugs of tea in front of the two boys, joining them at the dining room table.

 

"Thanks, mum."

 

"Thank you, Jay."

 

The boys thanked her and she smiled brightly, "Anytime, my love. How are you boys feeling? The drive wasn't too rough, was it?"

 

"Nah, it was fine. Had some bearable company." Louis teased Harry, smiling at him as he brushed their shoulders together affectionately.

 

"That's good. Charlotte will be sleeping in Fizzy's room tonight, so you've got your old room for the two of you. If you need any extra blankets and pillows you know where they are."

 

"Yeah, sounds great."

 

"I'm going to head to bed. Don't stay up too late, alright? I'll wake you in the morning before your dad comes by."

 

"Okay, mum."

 

His mother pressed a kiss to his hair, "It's so good to have you back home, even if it's only for a couple days."

 

"It's good to be back."

 

"Love you baby."

 

"Love you too, mum." He returned her kiss and smiled as she moved on to a shy Harry, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple and patting his back.

 

"Have a goodnight, Harry."

 

"You too."

 

Jay stepped out of the kitchen and left the two boys alone. They stayed in silence for a while, sipping at their tea and resting in the softly lit room. Louis leaned against Harry, their chairs close enough to do so, and curled up in his seat.

 

"Dinner was good." He commented, with no real point other than to talk and clear the silence.

 

"It was lovely." Harry agreed.

 

"And they adore you already. Told you you had nothing to worry about." Louis patted his cheek affectionately, smile only slightly teasing.

 

Harry's own smile had a hint of hesitance, a little doubtful of the statement, "I dunno, Lou. You think so?"

 

"Yeah, of course. You're a proper charmer."

 

Harry bent his head down, pressing his lips to Louis' temple as a way to keep their eyes from meeting and being encouraged to speak before he'd gathered his words. "I know the girls couldn't possibly know about me, since they're so little, and whatever your mum knows I'm sure she wouldn't judge me on it if you're anything like her, but it still... I don't know. Haunts me, I guess. Like if someone looks at me they'll just _know_."

 

Louis drew back a bit, placing a hand under Harry's chin to lift his gaze until their eyes locked, "It's okay, baby. I know it's hard, but remember that this is my family and we don't beat around the bush. If they didn't like you, it'd be obvious. But I can tell they think you're wonderful and sweet, and my mother will be telling me how happy she is that I brought you down the minute we get a second alone together. I promise."

 

Harry only nodded, accepting his words as truthful, and wrapped his arms around Louis' shoulders to tug him closer. They were sprawled over two different chairs, set close enough to almost be one. Louis placed his hands on Harry's thighs to keep his balance as Harry nuzzled into his neck.

 

"Did something happen to get you so anxious? You were good all week, even all excited and everything. You didn't seem worried about this at all until today."

 

"Was trying to be brave." Harry admitted, "I knew how excited you were and didn't want to get you down, but it's just kind of... gotten a bit much. But you're right. I'm gonna go with the flow and see how this goes."

 

"That's my boy." Louis laughed, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth, "Try not to think about it too much. We've still got another couple days here and I want you to have fun too."

 

"I will, we'll have loads of fun. Meeting your dad tomorrow, that should be interesting. Is he going to threaten to shoot me or something? What am I in for here?"

 

Louis shook his head and laughed, the idea of his dad being any bit threatening hilarious to him, "God no. Trust me, mum's the scary parent and you've aced her test already. All dad's gonna do is ask who your favourite footie team is and if you want a drink."

 

"Well, I'm sure I can handle that then. Bedtime?" He asked as Louis let out a tired yawn.

 

He nodded, unwrapping himself from Harry and standing up, "Yeah, bedtime." He agreed, offering a hand and helping Harry to his feet.

 

Louis led them to his old bedroom, taking their pyjamas and toothbrushes from the bags they'd brought up earlier. They got ready for bed, using the washroom first before closing the door to the bedroom as they got changed.

 

"Haven't you thought about bringing any of this stuff up to London?" Harry asked, looking over some of the things littering his desk. His room held a mix of his own things and Charlotte's, the entire house really a mix of everyone's things and no one room belonging to one person. Harry was always quicker to change, only going down to his underwear rather than wearing pyjamas, but Louis slipped on some sweats and a tank top to sleep in.

 

"Not really. I'll bring it up once I bother to get a moving truck and shit, but for now it's better to keep it here."

 

"But don't you want this with you?" Harry said, holding up a family photo, "I mean, isn't the point of this stuff to remind you of your family when they aren't around?"

 

"I suppose so, but I'm not really... sentimental, I guess? Not about that kind of stuff, not really. Besides, it's safer here than in my chaotic flat."

 

"I guess. You haven't grown much." Harry had moved on to a picture of Louis and his friends at their high school graduation, and although it was true, he still flipped him off at the comment.

 

Louis left his clothes on the floor and pushed their bags there as well, Harry following behind and picking up his mess one step at a time. He opened the bedroom door a crack, as was his mother's usual request when he had a guest over, and turned off the lights. The blinds were drawn open and the moon lit up the room enough that he had no trouble navigating his way to the bed, luckily less cluttered since Charlotte had claimed it.

 

He guided Harry to the small bed, pushing him down and moving him around until he was comfortable on his back. "Unfortunately the bed is small, but I'm sure we'll make it work."

 

"I'm sure." Harry held his arms out, letting Louis crawl over him and place himself against his chest. He brought the blanket over them and they settled wrapped around each other. "G'night, Lou." Harry mumbled, fatigue hitting him like a stone.

 

"Night." Louis rested his head on his chest, closing his eyes to the beat of his heart and the feel of his heat enveloping him, comfortable and happy to be in his childhood home with his family and Harry.

 

When the night wore down and the sun surfaced in his window, the light woke the boys but the chatter in the house more than enough to keep them from falling back asleep. Louis buried his face in Harry's shoulder, trying to hide himself from the sun, but by then Harry was wide awake and itching to move after so many hours trapped under Louis' weight.

 

He dug his fingers into his waist, tickling him until he rolled over and away from him, barely fitting in the small space between Harry and the wall but determined to get away from his torturous fingers.

 

"Asshole." Louis threw a blind punch, smacking him in the chest and knocking away his hands.

 

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..." Harry sang, rolling on top of Louis and smothering him with kisses as he tried to swat him away pointlessly.

 

"Get off me you jerk! Ugh!" Louis shoved at him, turning his face away to avoid his lips and hair. "You're the worst, mph!" Harry managed to get to his lips, kissing him softly and insistently, keeping their lips closed to keep away the morning breath.

 

"Good morning, Lou. Sleep well?" He asked, pulling away from their kiss and staring down at him with a bright smile in place.

 

"I hate morning people." Louis mumbled bitterly, wrapping his legs and arms around Harry and forcing him down to his chest, holding him too close for him to cause further annoyance.

 

"Liar, liar." Harry sang, letting his arms go pliant and resting his weight on Louis.

 

"You big dork." Louis mocked sounding far too affectionate, "We should get up before the girls start knocking. It's already half past nine."

 

Harry pressed one more kiss to the tip of his nose, laughing as Louis scrunched his face in distaste, and stepped off the bed. Louis was quick to follow, rolling out of the bed and pulling out some shorts and a t-shirt from his bag. Maybe Harry insisted on wearing nice skinnies and some fancy designer button down shirt, but Louis wouldn't waste the time or effort.

 

They spent a couple minutes in the washroom to freshen up and then made their way downstairs to the kitchen, already hearing noises and chatter from different spots in the house. Jay greeted them as they took seats at the table, the girls already halfway through or completed their breakfast.

 

"I've got eggs and bacon, is that alright?"

 

"Sounds great."

 

She prepared them some plates, placing them in front of them with some tea and coffee per their choice. The girls had moved on to the living room with toys and a movie, and Louis was eager to join them.

 

"I'm gonna go sit with the girls." Louis advised them, leaving his mom and Harry to eat at the table on their own. He wasn't worried, his mother not the type to do anything that would embarrass him or anything like that, and he figured maybe they could take some time to chat while he got to spend more time with his sisters. Kind of a win-win in his book.

 

"Oh, my son will never change, will he? Always has to be on the move." Jay tutted softly, holding her warm tea mug and looking towards the living room where she could see her children playing.

 

"Yeah, he's very... spirited." Harry ate slowly, gaze moving from his plate to the living room and then to Jay, a little shy but mostly unsure what to say.

 

"I was always worried that growing up would change him, you know, but it really hasn't."

 

"So he's always been like this, then?"

 

"Absolutely. Always a big kid with a big heart. When I used to walk him around in his stroller he'd smile and wave at everyone passing by. My little social butterfly."

 

"Guess he really hasn't changed much then."

 

"Not at all." Jay agreed, her gaze tender and loving when thinking of her eldest child.

 

Harry pushed around the food on his plate a bit, eventually looking up at Jay with a question on his lips, "I wanted to, um, ask you something, if it's not like... personal or anything."

 

"Go right ahead, sweetie. Open book policy in this house." She pat his hand and smiled brightly, urging him to press on.

 

"Louis mentioned a while back that you had the twins, the two little ones, when you were in your early thirties. Is that... Is that right?"

 

"Yes, absolutely."

 

"How, um, so how was that?" Harry asked, stutter present as he hoped his question wouldn't offend her, as he was always a bit fearful of using the wrong words.

 

"Hm? What do you mean?"

 

"Like... I mean, I know this is strange, but I was just wondering how it is to have kids so late. Not that it's all that late, but most people have kids in their twenties, right? But I'm almost thirty and I'm still quite a while from having kids and I want to be sure that that's... okay."

 

"Oh, I see. Listen, Harry, I love my son to death and I wouldn't change him in the slightest, but do I wish I had waited a little longer? Yes. I was eighteen, didn't have my studies done, wasn't married, hardly in love really, and just too young to be raising a child. At the time I wasn't able to give my child exactly what he needed, and although he turned out wonderful, he may not have and it would have been my fault. There's nothing wrong with waiting a few years to be in a good place to have children."

 

"But don't you think that it's late to be starting a family? I feel so far behind everybody else..." Harry admitted, finding it easy to open up to someone who was much like her son in face and kindness, but whom also understood what he was worried about.

 

"Don't worry about everybody else, think about the child you're looking to have. Do you think you could have had a child say... ten years ago and have been able to raise them in a healthy and happy environment?"

 

"No, no I guess not."

 

"Exactly. Some people are ready young, some people need more time, and you have to accept that about yourself. You can't go pushing yourself to have kids if you're not ready, you'll only risk making your children unhappy and that's not worth it. Don't worry about falling behind, you do you in your time, and that's what's important."

 

"Thanks, Jay. It just seems like I've been wanting kids for so long, but I'm not any closer to having them, and it's kind of been frustrating me a bit."

 

"Don't worry, dear, you'll get there. God knows I've been telling Louis to hold out for years. If he had it his way he'd already have his own handful of babies."

 

Harry laughed, knowing how true the statement was, "Yeah, I've noticed."

 

"He was a big help with the girls, always willing to babysit and learning how to change them and feed them. I always knew he'd want his own family, I'm just hoping he'll hold out until after his studies."

 

"He'll be a great dad when the time comes." Harry commented, both him and Jay looking off to the living room, spotting Louis singing along to the movie on TV, making the voices and moving his arms dramatically to make his sisters laugh and giggle.

 

"And you will be too, Harry." Jay gave his wrist a squeeze, smiling at the blush that bloomed on his cheeks.

 

"Thank you. I know it's a bit weird, but... It means a lot."

 

"It's alright, Harry. You feel free to ask me anything, anytime, alright?"

 

The doorbell went off then, followed by a series of knocks. Jay didn't move, only picking up her mug and drinking more tea, knowing she didn't need to bother getting up as the door would be answered for her.

 

Louis sprinted up at the sound, darting into the dining room to quickly question his mom, "That must be dad, right?" At her nod he sprinted straight to the front door, the sound of it opening and Louis greeting his dad easily reaching their ears.

 

Harry smiled at the obvious enthusiasm in his boyfriend's tone, knowing how excited he'd been to see his dad again after so long. Louis eventually dragged his dad to the dining room, chatting all the while about whatever came to mind.

 

"I know the colour is a bit of a shock, but it drives well so I can't complain."

 

"I guess that's what matters."

 

Louis stopped their conversation and let go of his dad to step up to Harry, up from his seat to greet them and shake Mark's hand, "Dad, this is Harry. Harry, this is my dad."

 

"Hi, sir." Harry said, hoping he didn't sound as awkward as he felt. Mark wasn't exactly threatening, but he wasn't a smiler like Jay or Louis.

 

"Nice to meet you." He sounded stiff, but not unkind either and Harry would take that as a win.

 

Mark took a moment to greet his daughters in the living room and then took a seat at the dining room table among the others. Louis had sat next to Harry, picking off bits of what was left of his plate while Harry had moved on to his coffee.

 

"We're gonna go play footie at the park down the street. We used to play there all the time, but it's been a while now." Louis was telling Harry, eager and happy. "I'm sure the girls will come too, and we can play 3-V-3. Lottie doesn't play, but she'll watch."

 

"Ah... No. I won't be playing either. I have a hard time not tripping over myself on a regular basis, playing footie would only make it infinitely harder."

 

Louis pouted at Harry, "But I brought your favourite shorts just for the occasion!"

 

Harry glared at him suspiciously over the rim of his cup, "The yellow ones?"

 

Louis nodded, mischievous grin in place.

 

"Mm. No. Not playing. I'll watch and cheer you on, but I'm not getting on that field." Harry shook his head, going red at the thought of wearing those yellow shorts in front of Louis' family.

 

"Fine. I brought you normal shorts too, if you're so against the other one's... Even though they're cuter."

 

"Absolutely not." Harry added in a whisper against the coffee cup, "Tosser."

 

Louis glared at him for a moment, before growing eerily calm and nodding once, "Okay."

 

"...Okay?"

 

"Okay. You don't have to play if you don't want." Louis was a picture of serenity as he sipped from his mother's tea, but Harry wasn't buying it.

 

Harry glanced at Jay and Mark, both speaking between themselves and not paying the two boys much attention, and then went back to staring at Louis. Their gazes met and locked for a while, Louis keeping calm while Harry scrutinized him and tried to read through the charade. He didn't trust it.

 

"Okay." He repeated, trying to gauge his feelings but getting nothing. Harry, judging the situation not to be in his favour, sighed, "Fine, I'll play. But no laughing at me or else I quit!"

 

Louis cheered and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, "Yay! Thanks, baby. We'll have loads of fun."

 

"Uh huh. Just no doing whatever it is you were planning."

 

"Deal."

 

"And so you know I'm atrociously awful at footie. Like beyond awful and more on the verge of... literally the worst footie playing you will ever see in your life." At least he couldn't say he didn't warn him.

 

"It's okay, Hazza. Fizzy's really bad too, so you'll even out the teams." Louis took Harry's hands and guided him up, turning to his mom and dad to tack on, "I'll tell the girls to get changed, and I think we need a change too, and then we'll be good to go."

 

"Sounds good, kiddo." His dad said and Louis did as he'd stated, advising his sisters to change and heading into his own room to do so as well.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to wear the yellow booties, Harry?" Louis teased, pulling them out from their bag along with the 'normal' shorts he'd thought to pack as well.

 

"Don't make me change my mind, Tomlinson."

 

"If I'm really good will you wear them for me tonight, then?"

 

Harry stepped up to him then, abandoning trying to find a change of clothes for Louis, and took his hips in hand and pulled him in close. He bent down to kiss the grin off his lips, tongue pushing in past his lips to pull out a heated moan. Louis wrapped his arms around his neck, letting the shorts fall to the floor, and melted into the kiss.

 

"Maybe when we get home." Harry pulled back long enough to whisper before Louis was pressing their lips together again.

 

"Promise?"

 

This wasn't the first boy he'd kissed in his bedroom, but it was definitely his favourite.

 

"Still think you should wear the bootie shorts."

 

"Arse."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your ridiculously kind messages! They encouraged me and gave me the ambition to finish this story. This story is now complete at about 106K words (I will be adding a little epilogue probably too).
> 
> This means update's will be more frequent! Most likely every 3-4 days, I'll most likely put up the next chapter on Friday.
> 
> Thank you again, you really have no idea how much comments and kudos boosts a persons happiness levels <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long chappie for you guys! Enjoy <3

It didn't go as badly as Harry had imagined it would. He only tripped a couple times, and everyone thought it was funny rather than embarrassing. They ended up going out for some dinner after playing footie at the park for a few hours. Louis had been right about his dad, mostly wanting to know his opinion on sports teams and who he was rooting for, really an easy man to get along with.

 

Louis was a bundle of energy the whole day, and easily into the next morning when they had breakfast with his grandparents. They were lovely and greeted Harry like they'd known him for ages, and Harry was made startlingly aware of just how badly he missed being around family.

 

There were handshakes on the way in and hugs on the way out, so he assumed he hadn't done so badly. It was with long hugs and kisses and many words shared did the boys leave Doncaster. Per Jay's insistence they had left early enough to get home with time to rest, since Louis had an 8 a.m class the next morning that his mother refused he skip or sleep through.

 

"That went well." Louis said as they took off, making the long trek back to London.

 

"I think it did." Harry agreed, happy to be able to say that truthfully.

 

"They adored you. Mum's already planning the next trip down, and the girls will be calling me tomorrow to see when they can see you again. Proper charmer. I told you you'd be fine."

 

"I'm glad it went well and that I didn't embarrass you too badly. Thanks for inviting me, I'm glad I got to meet them. Your family's lovely."

 

"And they think you're lovely too. Nan's already asking about a wedding."

 

"Wow, then I call that a proper success."

 

They shared a smile, both quite satisfied with how the weekend had turned out. Louis had known Harry would be great, hadn't doubted it in the slightest, but he couldn't help being relieved that he'd been right.

 

"You know, I've gone a full two days without getting you off. I'm pretty sure I'm going through withdrawal."

 

Louis rolled his eyes, yet not surprised in the slightest, "How would not getting me off put you in withdrawal?"

 

"Because getting you off gets me off. Duh. Hey, any chance we could pull over somewhere and-" Harry cut himself there when he spotted the look Louis sent his way.

 

"For an old man you have a spectacularly high sex drive." Louis said dryly, acting like the forced dry spell wasn't bothering him, when he wouldn't exactly be adverse to a bit of touching time as soon as possible. And he knew Harry would know that too.

 

"What can I say? I have a young, hot boyfriend to keep me active." Harry took Louis' hand off the gear shift, holding it in his own and pressing kisses to his warm skin. There was a coy grin on his lips, always up for teasing Louis because he loved the way he reacted in return.

 

Louis' grip tightened on the wheel and his heart dropped, yet he kept a smile on his lips and only shook his head at Harry's words. It didn't matter to Harry that he wasn't being truthful, because it made no difference to him. But it did to Louis, and the word rang in his ears as some form of taunt for what they weren't and yet he... kind of wanted. He didn't know, but he'd rather Harry didn't use the term boyfriend as if it was interchangeable to what they were. Less confusion that way.

 

"You're terrible. Put in some music, would you?"

 

They'd used their phones on the way up, but this time Harry fiddled through the little cubby in the centre console to find Louis' CD case. He'd noticed it before, but hadn't bothered to browse it. Now he felt nosy and tired of his own music.

 

He flipped the pages one at a time, pausing somewhere halfway through at a surprisingly familiar cover art. He pulled it out carefully, turning to Louis with the CD in hand.

 

"Do you, um, do you actually listen to this?"

 

Louis glanced over at him briefly, catching sight of what he was holding and knowing exactly what it was. He shrugged his shoulders, "Well yeah. It's good."

 

"I just... Didn't think you would."

 

"What can I say? I have good taste in men and music." Louis said, earning the laugh he knew he would. "You can put it in, if you want."

 

Harry stared at the CD, the last of the one's he'd been able to record with his best friends, and gave a resolute nod, "Yeah, I think I will. You'll sing with me, won't you?"

 

"Of course."

 

Harry slipped in the CD and let out a contented sigh as the first notes began, familiar and nostalgic, a tune he hadn't heard in years. Louis reached out for him, blindly taking hold of his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. The words started and they sang along, continuing on into the next song and the next, the lyrics known and remembered by both boys without trouble.

 

The drive was made shorter with the fun they were having, fooling around and making jokes, the fun weekend leaving them with positive energy. They made a quick stop once returned to London, going to the grocery store to pick up some pre-made food to eat once at home and a few needed grocery's.

 

"Put that back."

 

"But Harry..."

 

"We're having dinner, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean chocolate fudge... whatever the hell this is." Harry placed the chocolaty treat back on the shelf, ignoring his pouting boyfriend. He'd be less strict if it weren't for the fact they both knew there was already desert at home.

 

"But Har-ry, what about desert, hm?" Louis whined, not really interested in the treat and more so wanting to pester Harry.

 

Harry leaned on the bars, giving Louis a sly smirk, "You'll be my desert tonight."

 

"You wish." Louis retorted with an eye roll, but laughed as Harry continued to push the cart with Louis standing on the front bar, an old habit Harry had stopped trying to talk him out of.

 

Louis skimmed over boxes and bottles, being completely unhelpful, but Harry was used to it. He'd taken to taking him grocery shopping when he'd found a shopping list consisting of milk and cereal for over a two week period, and literally nothing else. How Louis had survived to this point, he didn't know.

 

They ended up with a nearly full cart despite the relatively short list they'd started with. Although Louis liked to put things in the cart that Harry quickly took out, Harry would put in things he'd never use, that Louis didn't know or care enough about to remove himself. They were both completely hopeless and useless grocery shoppers, but at least they ate decently.

 

Louis only stepped off the cart once they were at the cash register, helping place things on the conveyor belt. He didn't know what most of the items were, but he wasn't the cook and he made no comments.

 

The cashier was also blushy and starry-eyed, gaze on Harry as it often was, but he also made no comments about that.

 

"I have no idea how this happens every single time." Harry said, taking hold of as many bags as he could, which was quite a lot, but Louis still ended up with hands full.

 

"No self-control."

 

They exited the store and stepped right into a flashing light that had them ducking their heads and blinking the spots out of their eyes.

 

Louis glanced over at Harry, meeting his gaze and mouthing, ' _Really?_ '. Harry only shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. They ignored the pap and walked over to their awaiting vehicle. Luckily by now they had completely stopped caring about his Barbie Mobile and it was less interesting to the media, but unfortunately they never tired of Harry.

 

"You'd think they'd get bored eventually." Louis whispered to Harry, dropping the bags once at the car and pulling out his keys to unlock the trunk.

 

"They're like roaches. When the apocalypse happens, they'll be taking pictures of the zombies."

 

Louis could only laugh at that, because obviously the apocalypse would have zombies. And obviously Harry would know exactly what to say to ease his tension. He hardly noticed the lights and the voice speaking to them as they filled up the trunk one bag at a time, whispering between themselves to make the man with the camera easier to ignore.

 

Until he made one comment Louis willingly chose not to ignore.

 

"What's it like being a sugarbaby?"

 

And oh, that would not do. Not one bit.

 

Louis whirled on the pap so fast he recoiled in fear, his next words coming out cross and furious, "Excuse me?"

 

"I-I-" He stuttered, but didn't end up repeating his comment.

 

 Harry shot Louis a look, not wanting a scene, but he pretended not to notice.

 

"Normally I wouldn't waste my time on you people, but that is just a whole other level of disrespectful. And not only is it disrespectful to me and my morals, it's disrespectful to Harry as a fucking human being. You're a disgusting, vile piece of shit if you think a person's value is in their money, and that I would use him like that. I'm better than that, Harry is more than that, and you are trash. Absolute trash. Why don't you go get yourself a proper fucking job, you fucking loser."

 

Louis shoved the camera aside, causing the pap to almost lose his footing and take a few steps back to balance himself, and then he was shoving the car keys in Harry's hands and storming to the passenger's side of the car, sitting in the seat and slamming the door behind himself. He shoved the seat belt in the clip and set his feet on the dash with his arms crossed. He was pouting, and he didn't bother hiding it.

 

He heard the trunk shut, but there weren't any voices speaking. Most likely the pap had gone away.

 

Harry quietly took a seat behind the wheel, starting up the car and taking it to the road without so much as glancing at Louis.

 

There was a minute of silence and then he couldn't handle it anymore.

 

"Look, I'm sorry I-"

 

Harry cut him off quickly, "No, no, no. I'm still debating whether I'm angry or ridiculously turned on and you talking right now will only make it way harder to decide. And get your feet off the dash."

 

Louis did as asked, putting his feet on the car floor, and he uncrossed his arms and loosened up a bit, muttering out a - "Same".

 

"I said shush."

 

"I was whispering!" Louis protested.

 

"Ugh." Harry groaned, hands tightening on the wheel.

 

"And what was that for?"

 

"Nothing!"

 

Louis stared at him suspiciously for a moment before grinning brightly, "So I see it's turned on rather than angry."

 

"Shut up."

 

He softened though, returning to his earlier apology, "But seriously, I am sorry for yelling at him."

 

"No you're not." Harry said with a hint of a smile on his lips, "But that's fine."

 

"I know I probably made you look really bad..."

 

"Ehh, it's nothing to worry about." Harry said nonchalantly. He pulled into his driveway, pressing the button to open the garage and parking the car inside it. "It was ridiculously hot. But also kind of like, really sweet."

 

"Still." Louis said as protest, because of course Harry would say it was fine, he would even if he'd punched the pap or something else equally bad (and probably illegal).

 

Harry turned off the car, pulling out his keys and the inner car lights turning on to illuminate them. He turned to Louis then, a gentle smile on his lips that caused his dimples to show, "To be fair, I would rather we avoid making scenes, but he went too far and you weren't in the wrong. I don't want them saying shit like that about you, and you have every right to defend yourself."

 

"I know I don't always think before talking, but I'll try to do better next time." Louis pressed on the matter, not wanting Harry to pretend it wasn't important to address when it was. He was meant to be making Harry look good, and he couldn't do that when he was doing the exact opposite.

 

"Okay, babe." Harry acquiesced, knowing it was the best way to move on because they weren't going to agree on the matter, "Now how about we grab this food and we get eating, hm?"

 

"Sounds good. And then we can talk about how absolutely shit you are at footie." Louis teased, moving into the quick peck Harry placed on his lips.

 

"Twat."

 

They stepped out of the car, grabbing their groceries and making their way to the kitchen with mild effort. They placed the bags on the counters and could only feel disheartened at the chore in front of them. Even Harry, usually completely anal about his cleanliness, was debating leaving it for later. Yet they gathered their energy, a bit drained from the long car ride and their shopping trip, but willing to get it done to have time for other things.

 

Louis found it funny that he didn't know what half the things were, but he knew where they went in the cupboards. He also couldn't remember the last time he'd bought food for his own apartment.

 

"Here's the sandwiches!" Louis exclaimed as he pulled them out from the before last bag, feeling mildly more energetic at the prospect of food.

 

"Just gotta put these away and then..." Harry took the items from the final bag and put them in the correct cupboard, turning to Louis after with a bright grin, "Let's eat! Here, yeah?" He pointed to the kitchen island, and Louis took his usual stool. They tended to eat there for smaller meals, not bothering to go to the dining room to eat at the proper table.

 

"Bon appetit!"

 

They dug into their pre-made sandwiches eagerly, the only noise for a little while the plastic containers being moved occasionally and their own chewing, too hungry to speak right away.

 

Harry slowed down after a few bites, less hungry and a little more lost in thought. Louis noticed, reaching out with his foot to cross their ankles and shooting him a look to urge him to talk.

 

"I was just thinking like..." He shrugged, chewing slowly on some lettuce, "Am I too old for you?"

 

Louis frowned at the random question, a few seconds passing before he figured out where that was coming from, "Haz, that guy was a moron."

 

"I know that, that's not what I mean. I've been wondering for a bit actually, but I thought I was the only one to think so, so I didn't think it worth mentioning. What I meant though, was if we weren't doing this thing and you were single and all that, would you actually choose to date someone who's 29?"

 

"Well, um..." He had a feeling Harry wanted him to think his answer through, but he really didn't feel the need to, "Yeah, of course. After a certain point, after high school and stuff, probably 18 or 19 or something, age doesn't really matter. In a sense I guess it does, but it's not necessarily age and more... Where you are in your life. I'd rather date someone your age who wants marriage and children and who's settled and stuff, than someone my age who doesn't want any of that and has no plans for the future. If your plans for the future match, then there's no reason your age should impact your relationship. Does that make sense?"

 

Harry stared at him, thinking over his words over a mouthful of sandwich. He eventually nodded slowly, "Yeah, okay, I can see that. I was worried at first that it might bother you, but it didn't seem to so I didn't pay it much mind. And it had just never occurred to me that some people would see our age difference as relevant."

 

"No worries. It doesn't matter to us, and everyone else can mind their own fucking business." Louis finished off his sandwich and pushed away the empty container.

 

Louis placed one foot on the bottom bar of Harry's stool and swung the other leg over him, placing his bum in his lap. His hands went to his shoulders to keep himself balanced, and the movement almost caused Harry to drop the tiny bit of sandwich he still had left.

 

"Oi!" Harry held Louis' waist with one hand, the other bringing the sandwich back to his lips to continue eating.

 

Louis wiggled a bit until he was comfy and settled with their chests pressed together, lips pressing soft kisses to his cheek and neck as he was looking off to the side to finish his food.

 

"You're so slow at eating."

 

"I'm hardly a bite behind you." Harry defended as he shoved the last bit in his mouth and turning to face Louis with his cheeks puffing out.

 

"Hm." He hummed in return, continuing to pepper him with kisses. He could feel his jaw working as he finished the last bite. "Sandwich was good, thanks babe."

 

"But I didn't even make it."

 

"Still. Bought it for me."

 

With the food done, Harry placed his hand on Louis' waist to join the other, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, "Don't worry about it."

 

Louis ran his hands over Harry's shoulders and chest in an almost bored fashion if it wasn't for the fact he was obviously turned on, "You know, it really hasn't been long since we've fucked, but man, it's like because you can't you really want to."

 

"Well, we could have _tried_..."

 

"Do you have any idea how hard it was just to have a wank in that house? I wouldn't have had your pants off before someone would have been knocking at the door. They had this shit ability of knowing exactly the worst time to bug me."

 

"Yeah, I feel you. Trying to have a wank on the tour bus was the worst at first. Then we said fuck it and then it was like, 'Oi! Having a wank, headphones in!'. It was less awkward after we started addressing it."

 

"Oh God, yeah I can see how that would suck. Especially for you, Mister Super Sex Drive." Louis laughed and reached between their bodies and poked at Harry's semi trapped in his jeans.

 

"You know what's funny? I wasn't like this when I was younger. I got horny and stuff, but the drinking and the drugs somehow like... repressed my sexual needs. Unlike those who got ridiculously horny, I got deep."

 

"Deep?"

 

"Yup. Like - what is the meaning of life? Where do my missing socks go? Why do we lie to children and tell them there's a Santa Clause? How many cats is too many cats to own? How many could I get away with? If I touch his bum enough, will Louis finally kiss me? You know, things like that."

 

"Dummy." Louis kissed the grin off his lips.

 

He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, one hand digging into his hair. They were pressed close together with no space between their chests and Louis grinded his hips down for some greatly wanted friction. Harry was playing with his shirt, clearly debating whether he wanted to start the clothing removal process there or in the bedroom.

 

Louis chose for him.

 

He parted their lips briefly, "Bedroom," And he struggled to get off the stool and drag Harry with him while trying his best to keep their lips from parting. He didn't want to wait anymore, feeling like he'd waited long enough already.

 

Harry let him pull him up and was the one who parted them once they were standing, "Is the moon made of cheese? Am I really alive? Do dogs think in doganese or in the language their master talks?" Harry bent down and hoisted a startled and laughing Louis over his shoulder, prattling on as he headed to their bedroom.

 

"Are hot dogs made with real dogs?" Louis pitched in. He was patting Harry's bum like a bongo, giggling as they both started thinking up more and more random things.

 

The door was partially open and Harry kicked it the rest of the way, stepping up to the bed immediately to gently deposit Louis on it.

 

"Do aliens think we're too stupid to invade? Are we-"

 

Harry crawled on top of Louis and shushed him with a kiss. With desperate hands they both pulled themselves up the bed until Louis could rest his head on his favourite pillow. (Harry's, of course). In the process tugging off items of clothing and tossing them to the floor.

 

Louis raked his nails down Harry's back as they made out for a time, skin heated and prickling with need. Harry pulled back long enough to grab the lube and a condom from their nightstand and then moved on to pressing kisses to his chest and hips, leaving marks because Louis had stopped being bothered by them.

 

"None of that teasing shit. Just get on with it." Louis' voice was already strained.

 

Harry parted his lips from his hip and nodded, "Yeah, yeah." His voice wasn't any steadier. "How do you want?"

 

It was a half-sentence, but Louis understood. He bent his legs and placed his feet on Harry's shoulders, "Like this."

 

Harry removed Louis' feet and reached out for a pillow, forcing Louis to lift his hips and putting it beneath him before allowing him to reposition himself comfortably. He took the lube next, spreading it on his fingers in a practiced movement.

 

Louis gripped the edges of the pillow beneath his head, eyes closing as Harry pushed in the first finger. His hips wiggled a bit at the feeling, although it really hadn't been so long he was extra sensitive from his heated skin and from being almost absurdly turned on.

 

"Harry, fuck." Louis moaned softly as the second finger was added.

 

Harry leaned up, Louis' feet slipping from his shoulders and moving to rest on his back instead and the movement forcing his knees to his chest, and he kissed him hard. Louis parted his lips for him, heart racing as he tasted Harry on his tongue and felt him on every inch of his skin. Harry moved his fingers with purpose, knowing they were both too impatient at the moment for foreplay.

 

Louis squirmed and tried to move his hips, a tad more difficult in his position, but Harry pushed in harder and pressed into his prostate, giving him the pleasure he was desperately searching for. Louis shook at the pleasure and his grip tightened even more on the pillow as Harry added a third finger.

 

"God you're always so bloody slow at this, I should do it myself." Louis taunted, tone too breathy to really be impactful.

 

"This is faster than I usually like to do it." Harry pointed out, fingers stretching him out as he prepped him as quickly as he could without risking hurting him. He pressed his lips to his collarbone, mouthing at it for a moment before biting down.

 

Louis whimpered as pleasure wracked through him and he needed to reach down between their bodies to grasp his own leaking cock in a grip on the verge of painful to suppress his orgasm. His body wanted it more than anything else, but he held back, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself.

 

"Just hurry up already." His voice cracked with need, thighs already shaking where they were trapped between their bodies.

 

"Jesus... Fuck, yeah, okay." Harry mumbled, sounding as desperate as Louis.

 

He pulled out his fingers and cleared away the lube on his own thigh. With trembling fingers he took the condom packet and opened it, letting the wrapper fall to the floor and being quick to roll it on himself. He leaned forward, grip on Louis' thighs to make sure he was bent enough and comfortable before pushing in slowly.

 

Louis let go of the pillow and reached for Harry, nails digging into his shoulders as he grounded himself with his touch, "I'm not - I'm not gonna hold out for... for long." The words came out softly spoken and in broken stutters.

 

"Fuck, me neither." Harry admitted, lips stretching into a grin as their heated gazes met. Louis smiled back, and they stopped to laugh at themselves for a moment before they remembered their situation.

 

Harry started working his hips then, slowly at first but quickening as he knew Louis could handle it. Louis could already feel the warmth in the pit of his stomach and he wanted to grip himself again to try and hold it off, but Harry's hips were stuttering in their rhythm and he knew he wasn't far off either.

 

"Fuck, Lou... God damnit..." Harry was the one who reached between them, hand grasping Louis' dick and stroking him as he continued to thrust into him. He was always set on making Louis come first, and this wouldn't be the exception.

 

It was only a few strokes later and he was coming between them, Harry following in hardly seconds as he'd clearly been holding back with ridiculous determination. Harry let himself go limp, landing heavily on top of Louis who moved his legs to accommodate, far more used to it now.

 

"Jesus Christ." Harry breathed out, chest heaving as he tried to settle his heart and his breathing.

 

"Yeah."

 

He moved off after taking a minute to calm down, removing the condom and wrapping it in tissue from his nightstand, taking some baby wipes at the same time that he used to clean up their chests. He put those aside as well and finally settled into the bed. He laid on his side and simply opened his arms to Louis.

 

Louis rolled into the embrace, burying his head under Harry's chin and throwing an arm over his waist. He breathed in his cologne, mixed with sweat by this point, and relaxed into the comfy mattress.

 

"That was..." Louis started, but stopped. He wanted to say it was kind of embarrassing, but it wasn't really when they'd both been as desperate as the other. It had been hot in a sloppy, sixteen year old kind of way.

 

"Mm." Harry seemed to understand and didn't say anything to the unfinished comment. He ran a hand through Louis' hair, twirling the strands around his fingers and carting through little knots. Eventually he let his arm go limp, resting his arm over Louis' shoulder and fingers still playing with the short hairs at the back of his neck. "You're pretty." He mumbled sweetly.

 

Louis giggled, tilting his head enough to press a kiss to his shoulder, "You're stupid."

 

"So romantic."

 

"Always am, aren't I?"

 

"Yeah." Harry kissed his hair and they settled into silence for a few minutes. Their bodies cooled off and their heart rates returned to normal beats, the air around them soft and gentle in the aftermath of their heated and quick rump in the sheets.

 

"I think I'm gonna try and call my mum." Harry broke the silence several minutes later, voice low to keep from ruining the soft atmosphere around them.

 

"Really?" Louis asked, not wanting to doubt him but surprised by the sudden decision.

 

"Yeah, I think I will. After spending the weekend with your mum it's like... I miss mine so much. I really, really do. At this point there's nothing stopping me, nothing but, well, me. If I don't do this soon I might never do it."

 

"That'd be wonderful, Harry. Liam did say she was looking forward to hearing from you, so I think she misses you just as much as you miss her."

 

"I like to think so."

 

Louis pulled back far enough to be able to look Harry in the eyes, bringing a hand up to stroke his cheek and leaning up to kiss him softly. They kissed gently for a time, fingers trailing light touches wherever they could reach. Harry placed a hand at his waist, pulling their hips closer together to align their bodies perfectly. He parted their lips to press kisses all over Louis' face, enjoying the giggles escaping his kissed red lips.

 

Louis wondered if this is when they're meant to exchange sweet words and affections, saying how much they love each other. What they mean to each other. They did everything else like normal couples, it was really all they were lacking. As much as they were actually quite good at communicating between themselves, probably better than a lot of long-term couples, this was one thing Louis couldn't bring himself to open up about.

 

Not yet, not when it didn't hurt as much as he knew it could. They were friends, Louis would go so far as to say Harry was his best friend, and he didn't want to risk losing that because he wanted to know _how long_. How long until the end, how many days did he still get to have Harry as his until he didn't?

 

He could hold off on that, could wait for the moment where the joy of simply being with Harry was overcome with longing and for his own sanity he'd have to be honest with him.

 

"Sleepy?" Harry asked.

 

"Nah, just thinking. I've got a bit of reading to do for one of my classes, I should maybe start up on that."

 

"Nooo." Harry whined, tightening his grip on Louis, "Stay here. It's your long weekend, enjoy being lazy for a bit."

 

"Mm. Oh, poor baby, are you sleepy? It's past your bedtime isn't it?" Louis teased, grinning at the pout he got in response.

 

"Asshole." Harry grumbled and Louis laughed at his grumpy tone. Harry reached down and smacked his butt in retaliation, only hard enough to startle Louis, who jumped at the touch.

 

"Oi!"

 

"Wanna keep you here so I can touch you some more." Harry groped Louis' ass, kneading the skin to make him shiver and hold back a moan, and his fingers brushed over his sensitive hole. Without warning he slowly pushed in one finger, his hole still lubed from their previous round. Harry hadn't bothered washing up that much.

 

"Jesus, Harry-" Louis cut himself off with a breathy moan.

 

"Yes, Louis?" Harry prodded cheekily, moving the finger in and out in short methodical movements.

 

"You can't possibly - we _just_... fucking hell." Louis sunk his nails into Harry's biceps and wiggled uncertainly, sensitive but still feeling pleasure from it.

 

"What do you want, baby?"

 

"I... I don't know." He admitted.

 

Harry pulled out his finger for a moment, taking Louis' thigh and moving his leg over his waist, spreading his legs and giving Harry better access. He put his finger back, putting in a second along with it. There was little lube left and it had gotten a bit dry by this point, but luckily Louis was loose from their fuck and he wasn't needing to force his fingers in.

 

"Tell me if it's too much."

 

"Feels good." Louis was growing hard, as aroused by the press of fingers inside him as the feel of Harry's body so close to his own.

 

Harry moved his fingers in and out in a slow pace and he shuffled a bit lower down the bed to be able to press kisses to Louis' lips. Their lips were red and puffy from how much they'd been kissing, but it didn't stop them from keeping it up. Louis could hardly kiss back, mouth slack and mind feeling fuzzy. Typically this would be the point where he started getting impatient, but he was too tired and enjoying what he was already getting too much to waste the effort. It was quite like a lazy early morning wanking session, except better.

 

"Get on your tummy. Gonna fuck you again." Harry muttered against his lips, removing his fingers and giving his butt cheek a loving pat.

 

"Sure you're up for it old man?" Louis teased.

 

"Didn't think I would be, honestly, but what can I say? You're persuasive." Harry passed his thumb down Louis' crack, catching on his rim and pulling off as Louis let out a full-body shiver at the touch.

 

Louis threw a weak punch, hitting Harry in the shoulder and making him laugh, "Arse."

 

Harry sat up and helped Louis onto his stomach, making sure he was comfortable before pressing on. Louis watched him crawl away, finding himself a spot between Louis' legs. He felt him shifting around, and he rested his head in his arms as he waited mildly patiently. He flinched as some lube was dribbled onto his hole, Harry using a couple fingers to spread it inside and around the rim.

 

"Ah, shit." Louis heard Harry grumble, and suddenly the bed shifted as he stepped off of it.

 

"What's up?" He asked, turned to face the other side of the bed and spotting Harry's retreating figure as he walked into the washroom.

 

"Put the lube on my dick!" He shouted back and there was the sound of the tap turning on.

 

Louis frowned in confusion, "Isn't that the point?"

 

"No, I-" Harry paused and continued only once he'd turned off the tap and could be heard more easily, "I forgot the condom."

 

"Ooh." Louis said as he understood. He kicked his legs mindlessly, keeping his gaze on the entrance to the washroom, "Well, don't take too long or I might fall asleep."

 

"Of course, darling." Harry didn't make him wait long, exiting only moments later. He grabbed a condom from the nightstand and took his spot on the bed again, taking hold of Louis' restless legs and forcing them to stay on the covers, "Now let's try this again."

 

Louis hummed softly, not willing to make a response. He could hear the crinkle of the condom wrapper being opened and shifted in anticipation. Although Harry had made him wait a little longer than intended, he was still sporting a semi and knew Harry was still hard too.

 

Harry covered Louis' body with his own, pressing his chest to his back and kissing the back of his ear affectionately, "Ready, babe?"

 

Louis nodded, "Yeah."

 

Harry reached down and gripped his own cock, lining himself before pushing in. It was slow, not because Louis needed to adjust, but because Harry was a dick. Or so Louis would say.

 

"Fucking hell." Louis muttered, burying his face in the pillow.

 

Harry kept his weight on him, keeping one hand at his waist to keep him steady and moving his hips back and forth in slow motions. Louis reached back to grab Harry's other hand and linked their fingers, grip tight and sweaty.

 

"Feel so good, Lou." Harry groaned, wanting to go faster, but also wanting to torture Louis a bit.

 

Louis could only whimper. He was overwhelmed by the soft drag of cock inside him, brushing gently against his prostate on every push in, as well as the oddly intense sense of intimacy that came with their positioning. He tried to move his hips back to get more friction, but Harry's hold on his waist kept him from doing so and he went lax on the sheets, letting Harry go at his own shitty pace.

 

He was so hard by this point, and with his own dick trapped between himself and the bed he couldn't get a hold on himself no matter how much he wanted to. It was like being vulnerable, but in the best way possible.

 

Harry kissed the back of his neck, breath coming out short and heavy, but he kept his movement painstakingly slow. His knees shook as he tried to keep his pace even, and he was keeping a large portion of his weight on Louis as he didn't have the strength to hold himself up. As he got nearer and nearer to his orgasm he started losing his rhythm, snapping in harder and faster.

 

Louis' breath hitched at the sudden change, his toes curling in pleasure and his moans coming out even louder than before.

 

"Harry, I-" Louis came with a shout, not cumming much after a second orgasm, but body shaking like it was the first. His grip on Harry's hand tightened painfully, and he shook through the aftershocks, pleasure spreading through his veins and fatigue seeping in after it.

 

Harry kept it up for only a few more thrusts and he came shortly after, Louis' clenched hole too much for him to hold off any longer. Louis let out a groan as Harry let all of his weight rest on him now, heavy breathing filling the bedroom as they panted to rest their racing hearts.

 

"Need... need you to pull out, Haz." Louis' voice was muffled by the pillow he was still shoving his face in, but Harry got the message.

 

"Sorry." Harry rolled off of him, pulling out his softening dick as requested. He laid on his side of the bed on his back, arms spread out and still breathing heavily.

 

Louis moved to be on his side and curled up to gather some heat, body chilling now that he wasn't aroused or covered by Harry. He awkwardly pulled the blanket out from under himself, bringing it up to his chest and then crawling closer to Harry. He placed Harry's outstretched arm under his head, using it as a pillow, and curled up next to him.

 

"Sleepy." Louis mumbled, eyes already slipping shut.

 

"Me too."

 

"Should take that off."

 

Harry groaned, not wanting to move but knowing Louis was right. He reached down with the one free arm, grabbing the condom and carefully taking it off. He placed it on the nightstand and managed to pull out some wipes that he used to clean himself off. He reached out to do the same to Louis, but he was shooed away.

 

"Tomorrow. Sleep now."

 

Harry laughed softly, putting away the wipes and wrapping himself around Louis, "Yeah, sleepy times." He agreed.

 

Louis fell asleep in seconds, exhausted and sated, in the comfort of Harry's arms and the familiar bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you guys can truly understand the joy I get from seeing your kind and encouraging messages after every chapter, but it honestly makes me excited to put out the next chapter each time! I'm so excited for you wonderful people to see the rest of this story, know how proud I am of it and how much you seem to like it.
> 
> Basically - thank you <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy <3

"I've talked to your dad and we figure the best weekend to celebrate Charlotte's birthday will be the 15th. You boys can come down on the Friday and we'll have dinner on Saturday. Nan said she'll make her blueberry pie, you know the one Lottie loves. I know you like to take the summer to work, but the girls already miss you and I'm sure one weekend off wouldn't be too difficult, right? But I can always lend you money, sweetie, if you need it - that's what mum's are for."

 

"I'm fine, mum, no worries. I can definitely take the weekend off and come down. I don't know if Harry'll be with me though. I don't know if we'll still be... You know, by then. It's still a few weeks away."

 

"You know I've had my doubts about the whole thing, but just a few minutes with that boy and anyone could tell he's completely smitten."

 

"Mum..."

 

"Well, I won't get involved, but I'm counting him on my guest list."

 

"He's not - we're not... I haven't... Look, I don't suggest you count on it. I'm... I think I'm at my limit here, mum. I don't know how much longer I can tough this out."

 

"Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. I don't mean to be pushy, but have you talked to him at all about all this? You'd feel better if you did."

 

"It's not that I don't want to, I just don't want to fuck up a good thing. He's my best friend and is it wrong that I don't want to lose that?"

 

"Of course not. You'll figure this out, I know you will. But remember you're not alone here, Harry's as involved as you are and you don't know what's going on in his head. Maybe he's just as confused as you are."

 

"Poor boy's got enough on his plate without me adding stress over nothing. I'll... I don't know. I'll figure it out, I guess. Don't really have much of a choice."

 

"I love you, sweetheart."

 

"I love you too. I'm looking forward to coming down again. I miss you already."

 

"We miss you too."

 

"So the, uh, 15th, huh? Any idea what she wants for her birthday? She's always so difficult."

 

"Well, she was talking about this one thing..."

 

**OoOoO**

 

"Harry? Is that you?"

 

"H-hi... Yeah, it's me, how did..."

 

"You haven't changed your number in years."

 

"Oh. Yeah, um, hi."

 

"Oh my God, Harry, I... God, it's so good to hear your voice. I've missed you so much. It's..."

 

"Mum? Are you... crying?"

 

"My baby, I've been wanting to talk to you for ages! I didn't want to rush you, and I know we didn't end on the right foot, but I've missed you every minute of every day, and I love you so much, and it's just so nice to hear your voice."

 

"I-I love you too, mum."

 

"Listen to us, a couple of crying messes aren't we?"

 

"Heh, yeah, yeah we are... I've missed you, and I... Fuck, I'm so sorry I - I don't even know how to... I'm sorry, mom, I'm so sorry."

 

"Sh, sh, baby, we're gonna figure this out, okay? We're going to make this right again. You're going to come down, you're going to come see me and your sister, and we're going to talk. As long as we need to, okay?"

 

"Yeah, yeah I'd like that."

 

**OoOoO**

 

Harry still had tears in his eyes when Louis got home from work that night. He'd set himself up in his recording room, papers and notes around him and the equipment turned on, yet he hadn't recorded a word. Louis found him there, quiet with red-rimmed eyes. Harry spotted him immediately and spread his arms wide, a clear invitation for Louis to come near.

 

"Hiya, love." Louis said gently and walked up to him, taking a seat in his lap.

 

"Hey." Harry's voice was scratchy from misuse.

 

They sat in silence for a while, Louis too scared to probe and wanting Harry to be the first to talk. He eventually did after taking some time to find his words.

 

"I... I called my mum today."

 

"Mhm." Louis pet his hair comfortingly, fearing the worst. He'd known what he'd planned to do, but not how it had turned out.

 

"It..." Harry broke into a wide grin, "It went really well."

 

Louis blinked at him confusedly for a moment, but couldn't help but smile at the news too, "Then why the tears?" He asked, rubbing his thumbs against the puffy skin under his eyes.

 

Harry laughed, "Oh that's just happy tears. And overwhelmed tears. She was crying too. It was so amazing, Lou. It was so great to hear her voice and to know that she... she still loves me. She said we have a lot to talk about, but that we're going to figure this out and we're going to make things better. She knows how much I want to work this out, and she wants to help me. It's - God, Lou, I don't know how to-" He cut himself off there with a bright laugh, tears burning up again at the memory.

 

Louis placed a kiss to his temple and matched his grin, "That's great, Hazza!"

 

"We're going to meet up for dinner later this week. I know it's your study week before your exams, but she doesn't live far and I was hoping you wouldn't mind one evening off. We agreed we'd take this slow, so just a dinner and we'll talk and Gemma will be there, and hopefully I won't fuck up, and... And she's giving me a chance to make this right."

 

"That's so wonderful, pumpkin. But um... why, exactly, would I need an evening off?"

 

"Because you're coming, obviously."

 

Louis laughed awkwardly, "Uh, obviously not."

 

"What do you mean? Of course you have to come with me. 'Sides, mum was actually the one who brought it up. She insisted she had to meet you, and I told her it'd be fine. I made sure it was a night you weren't working and it's before your exams, so it should be fine."

 

Louis slid off Harry's lap and stood between his legs to face him, "That's nice and all, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't bring your fake boyfriend to your family reunion thing. You haven't seen them in years, it should be special."

 

"But it will be special."

 

"I'm not going, Harry." Louis said stubbornly. He tried to step further back, but Harry grabbed his hands and pulled him back in.

 

"Louis, I want you there."

 

"You haven't seen your mum or sister in years, you should spend your time with them. I mean, it's sweet that you want me there, and maybe the next time I'll go, but for the first time I really don't think I should be intruding on your family time."

 

"It's not intruding if you've been invited."

 

"Harold." Louis scolded, not quite meeting Harry's insistent gaze.

 

"Kinda feels like there's more than you're saying." Harry let go of his hands and gripped his waist, pulling him even closer in an attempt to get him to look him in the eyes.

 

"No, no, I just... Are you going to tell her the truth about this? I don't... I don't want to put you in a situation where you have to lie to her, or she feels lied to because you didn't tell her. I don't know how to explain it. Doesn't feel like I should go, that's all."

 

Harry paused for a brief moment as he thought over his words, "... Well, I mean, you don't have to come if you don't want to."

 

"Don't go trying to guilt me, Harry Styles."

 

"I'm not. Look, she’s not going to ask because she has no reason to have any doubts about how real this is or isn’t – it won’t be an issue. I want to reconcile with my mother, and I could really use your support in this."

 

Ouch.

 

Louis sighed and took his seat back in Harry's lap, "Okay. If you really want me to go, I'll go. But I still don't think it's a good idea."

 

"I appreciate it," Harry smiled joyfully, "I'll make it up to you, promise. I just always feel braver when you're with me."

 

Louis blushed at the statement and moved forward to burrow his face in the crook of Harry's neck to hide, giggling softly all the while, "You're stupid."

 

"So I've been told." Harry kissed his hair with a grin on his lips. "Will you really come?"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'll go. But if you change your mind let me know. I want this to be something you remember and feel proud of. I don't want to mess that up for you."

 

"You won't."

 

"You sound sure of that."

 

"I'm sure of everything."

 

Louis laughed and pressed a light kiss to Harry's lips, "Sure, sweetie, whatever you say."

 

"Do you ever feel like things are starting to make sense and suddenly everything is within your reach? That's how I feel right now, like I could go to the moon if I wanted to." Harry said, sounding almost breathless in his joy.

 

"I'm sure you could." Louis said sweetly, "It's nice to see you so happy."

 

Harry simply kissed his smiling lips in response.

 

"So what day is dinner?" Louis asked once they parted.

 

"Next Thursday."

 

"Seems so soon. But I guess you've waited long enough."

 

"I know. You will be good to take the evening off, right?"

 

"Yeah, no worries. I mean, they do give us the whole week off to study, I think I can afford a couple hours to myself."

 

"Good, good. I'm looking forward to it."

 

"Me too."

 

**OoOoO**

 

Louis lied. Kind of. He was looking forward to it in that he was excited for Harry. But not so much for himself. He was able to ignore it - mostly. At least he had studying to keep him occupied, and Harry was out quite a bit and even when home he'd leave him in relative quietude to study in peace.

 

Yet the nerves were getting to him, reaching boiling point as the day drew nearer. It got to the point where it started seeping into other parts of his life, and he could hardly focus on his schoolwork by the time Wednesday rolled around. It was so bad he'd started cooking to give himself something else to worry about rather than the coming day (and the fact he couldn't for the life of him get off that day and he was sexually frustrated on top of his normal frustration).

 

It was turning out to be a bad day. Even worse was that Harry was out most of the day with the writers, as he'd also been looking for ways to pass the time until he could see his family, and wouldn't be back for a while.

 

The kitchen was beyond a mess and even Louis was considering trying to clean up. He knew Harry would be mad to get home to a mess this size.

 

The only things that Louis had the slightest idea how to make were cookies, and there were dozens littering the kitchen counter-tops and still a batch in the oven and some mix in a bowl. He was quite proud that they turned out remotely edible and only slightly burnt at times.

 

By the time Harry made it home the cookies were all done and Louis was working on the long process of cleaning up his mess. The longest part had been figuring out where the cleaning supplies were in the first place.

 

"Honey, I'm home!" Harry called out as he stepped into the house that oddly smelt like food. He always said that when getting home and he seemed to do it in jest, but honestly Louis thought it was kind of nice.

 

"Hey." Louis let go of the bowl he was cleaning, dried off his hands, and waited for Harry to join him in the kitchen.

 

"Why does it smell like desert?" Harry asked in a cautious tone that Louis thought kind of insulting.

 

"I made cookies." Louis replied as Harry walked into the kitchen, eyes roaming over what was left of his mess and the trays full of cookies on his counters.

 

"... Why?" Harry kissed his cheek as he often did to greet him and wandered over to the food. He poked one carefully, and when it didn't start walking away he took it in hand and turned it over to inspect it.

 

"M'going mad, Harry." Louis said with a groan, stepping up behind Harry and wrapping his arms around his waist. He placed his cheek against the back of his shoulder and let most of his weight rest on him.

 

"And you decided to cook?"

 

"Yes."

 

"You know, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen you cook in five months."

 

"Is that your way of telling me never to do it again?"

 

Harry put the cookie back down and gently turned to face Louis, "No, no, if anything you're not as bad as you say you are, 'cause those are perfectly edible. Just meant that you really must be going mad if you turned to cooking to relieve your stress."

 

Louis sighed.

 

"I think you've been studying too much."

 

"... Yeah." Because that was absolutely what was on his mind.

 

Louis cut off whatever Harry was going to say next by pressing their lips together in a hard kiss. Harry's back hit the counter with the force of it and his hands went to grip Louis waist to steady himself. Louis didn't give him time to breathe, lips parting and tongue exploring Harry's willing mouth as he tugged on his curls and pressed their bodies so close there was no lost air between them. Harry moaned into the kiss, Louis' aggressivity sudden but not unwanted.

 

"Not that I don't enjoy this kind of welcome home, but um, are you like... okay? Do you want to talk or something?" Harry's voice quivered in the slightest as Louis moved his lips to his jaw, mouth warm and insistent.

 

"I woke up stressed this morning and I was like, oh I'll have a wank to destress myself. But I was too bloody stressed to get off, and now I'm stressed because I can't get off, and I can't focus on my schoolwork because I'm so fucking horny, and somebody is getting off today and if it isn't me, it's going to be you." Louis' tense hands struggled to unbutton and unzip Harry's jeans, and he dropped to his knees to tug them down his thighs once he succeeded.

 

"Sounds like you've had a long day." Harry somehow managed to sound sympathetic although he was starting to get to the point where he could hardly focus on anything other than Louis' touches.

 

"Mm." Louis pulled down his briefs next, leaning forward and sucking a bruise on his stomach right next to his erection. He reached up and took his cock in hand, stroking it slowly and laying more wet kisses to his skin.

 

Harry tugged at Louis' hair, forcing him to glance up at him, "I don't have my wallet on me." He said breathlessly, cheeks flushed and lips bitten red.

 

"And?" Louis brought the other hand to his cock, both hands stroking him torturously slow. His thumb brushed over the slit, spreading the precum gathering there and smirking proudly as he felt Harry shudder in pleasure.

 

"I, um, condom. I don't have one."

 

"Yeah, s'fine." Louis shrugged, moving forward again and letting the hand Harry had in his hair fall away - only to grab the counter in a white-knuckled hold.

 

"Wait, wait, Lou, hold it. I can go get it, it's not far-"

 

Louis looked up at him, gaze heated and hard, "I said it's fine. Only use them for BJ's to be safe, not for the other thing. I know you got tested since we started sleeping together, and unless you've been doing things I don't know about, I know you're clear so whatever." He explained, knowing that Harry would be persistent until he did so.

 

"Are-are you sure?"

 

Louis answer was a lick to the underside of his cock, from the base to the tip, all the while keeping their eyes locked. Harry's head fell back and he placed his elbows on the counter and put his weight on them, legs starting to grow weak.

 

"God fucking damnit." He groaned as Louis slowly wrapped his lips around him.

 

He took him in more quickly than he typically would, choking a bit as it hit the back of his throat. It didn't slow him down though, moving back but still working his tongue. The taste was far different than he was used to, never actually having gone without a condom before. It wasn't always a case of wanting to be safe, sometimes simply judging it to be the better choice. Going without seemed messy, but he'd make the exception since he was beyond caring at the moment.

 

Harry continued to mutter profanities, and Louis dug his nails sharply into his hips to regain his attention, wanting his eyes on him. After so long together Harry knew that, and he forced himself to look down at him and meet his gaze.

 

Louis sucked on the tip, precum slowly gathering on his tongue and he stilled for a few seconds to watch Harry slowly fall apart under his touch. He started moving again once he grew more impatient than Harry himself, wanting to get him off as quickly as possible. There was a part of him that thought he could live vicariously through Harry's orgasm, or he liked to believe it anyways.

 

"Lou, m'close." Harry tugged on Louis' hair in warning, but was simply swatted away.

 

It urged him on further, Louis working his throat and taking him in as deeply as he could and using a hand to stroke the rest. He may have forgotten the fact that they weren't using a condom, as he was used to doing. Harry groaned loudly as he came, and the sound was familiar to Louis and he intended to work him through his orgasm, but ended up quite surprised when he would up with a mouthful of cum.

 

He pulled off, startled and coughing as he tried to swallow Harry's cum, but wound up with most of it dripping down his chin. He wiped at it with his hands, only spreading it everywhere in the process.

 

Harry fixed his pants and then settled down on the floor, spreading his legs so that Louis was in between them. He reached out for him, taking hold of his collar and tugging him in close for a kiss. It was messy and Louis felt gross, but it was a kiss from Harry and he rarely refused those.

 

"I, uh, forgot that that would happen." Louis said with a laugh once he pulled back.

 

"Can't say I didn't warn you." Harry quipped, voice heavy with fatigue but still teasing.

 

"Twat." Louis sighed and moved off his knees onto his bum, "That didn't work. And now I'm gross and still horny. For fuck's sake."

 

"C'mere." Harry gently steered Louis around, guiding him to sit in front of him with his back pressed to his chest. He took one of his hands in his to sooth him, and the other reached down to Louis' crotch, palming gently at his semi hard erection.

 

"M'tired, Harry. Too much in my head lately, can't think straight anymore. Tried to get off, but fuck I couldn't focus and my hand got tired and then I got bored and..."

 

As he spoke Harry slipped his legs under Louis' and used his feet to spread them further apart, making it easier to slip his hand into his sweats. He rubbed at his cock over his boxers, trying to get him fully hard, but it was taking far longer than it normally would.

 

"It's alright, baby, I'll help. Tell me what you were thinking about when you were trying to get off."

 

"Hm? I dunno, like... This, I guess." Louis leaned his head back against Harry's shoulders, closing his eyes as he let himself focus only on the way Harry was touching him rather than everything else that'd been overwhelming his mind that day.

 

"Yeah? Thinking about me touching you?" Harry brought his hand up to his mouth, spitting into his palm in the quietest way possible, and then slipped it into Louis' boxers. Louis' grip tightened on his hand as his warm hand finally took hold of his dick, strokes somewhat smooth with the aid of his spit. He considered getting some lube, but didn't want to risk breaking the mood when Louis clearly needed him at that moment.

 

"Yeah, yeah." Louis agreed.

 

"Where?" Harry pushed, hoping to get Louis into the right mindset to be able to let himself go. He still wasn't hard, but Harry could tell he was starting to get there.

 

"Um, my dick, preferably."

 

"No, no, I meant where as in place. If I could be touching you anywhere in the world right now, where do you want us to be?"

 

"I dunno, Harry." Louis said impatiently, starting to wiggle around in frustration.

 

"Humour me. Anywhere, anywhere at all." Harry let go of Louis' hand and placed it on Louis' stomach, hand firm to keep him steady.

 

"Okay, okay. Um... Paris."

 

"Mm, romantic." Harry kissed the back of his ear affectionately, "Are we on the Eiffel tower? Up in the air, middle of the night, all the lights on, the city bright and alive."

 

"Nah, too cheesy." Louis reached back with one hand and took hold of Harry's curls, nuzzling into the feel of his cheek pressed against his temple, "No, we're... We're not in Paris. We're not anywhere. We're just in our bed. Me and you."

 

"Anywhere in the world and you choose home?"

 

"Home is comfy." Louis defended with no actual force behind it. His breath was starting to come out in bursts, body warming as he was starting to get more turned on. Harry hadn't stopped stroking him, hand moving along his length and sometimes thumbing at the slit and moving down to ghost over his balls.

 

"That's very true. Okay, so we're in bed, just me and you, and what am I doing to you? When you're home all by your lonesome, what do you imagine I'm doing to you at that moment? What do you wish I were doing to you?"

 

"I-I don't know. Everything?"

 

"What do you think about when you're touching yourself? What are you imagining?" Harry pressed. Louis was getting harder in his hand and he was starting to fidget, so Harry knew he was going in the right direction.

 

"I... You. I think about you." Louis grabbed Harry's forearms, the cum on his hands spreading further and his nails leaving crescent shapes that would fade soon enough. He tried to bend his legs, but Harry still had their feet crossed together and kept his legs spread open.

 

"And what am I doing to you?"

 

"Touching me, kissing me." Harry used a hand to turn Louis' face towards him and brought their lips together. He pushed his tongue past his parted lips and tasted himself in his mouth. Louis drew back, mumbling in the short space between them, "Fuck, Harry, _fuck_. Want you so bad."

 

As much as Harry enjoyed the idea of fucking Louis then and there, he knew he wouldn't be able to get hard that quickly. He'd need more time and he knew Louis didn't. His intention was to get Louis off and he knew he could manage it without needing to fuck him.

 

"Think about me fucking you, baby? Touching you all over?" Harry slipped a hand under Louis' shirt and felt how warm his skin was. He touched his chest and brushed over a nipple, pinching it and earning a whimper from a shaking Louis. "Think about me fucking you so hard you can't walk after? And you'll make all those pretty noises for me."

 

Louis moaned loudly, overwhelmed by Harry's touches and voice so near to his ear. There was heat gathering in the pit of his stomach, familiar and wanted so desperately. He felt so close, and he tried to move and fidget, uncertain if he wanted to stay near the pressure on his cock or to move away from it. He was sensitive at this point, having spent all day touching himself with no results, and it almost felt like too much.

 

"Harry, please." He groaned, grip still painfully tight on Harry's arms.

 

"Come on, baby. I know you can come for me. You can do it, Lou." Harry quickened his hand movement, squeezing and turning his hand in the way he knew Louis liked. He was shivering, as if his orgasm was being dragged out of him.

 

"I-I..." Louis doubled over as his orgasm hit him hard, and Harry placed an arm around his stomach to keep his back to his chest as he worked him through it. He stopped once he felt Louis had grown too sensitive, and he joined that hand to the other around Louis' middle. He held him and uncrossed their legs so that Louis could bend his legs up to his chest. Harry knew how intense a forced orgasm was, knew how it wracked the entire body, and simply let him shiver through the feelings of it.

 

Louis fell back against him after a moment, panting and eyes heavy with fatigue. His body was still shaking occasionally from aftershocks and general tiredness, but he finally felt at ease for the first time in days.

 

Harry pet his hair gently with the hand that didn't have cum on it, brushing some strands away from his sweaty forehead, "Feel better, darling?" He considered wiping his dirty hand on his jeans, but he liked them too much and instead kept his hand a mess.

 

Louis turned sideways and curled up against Harry, his breathing slowly starting to regulate, "Yeah, thanks, Haz." He buried his face in Harry's neck, and although he felt gross he also felt happy. "You're the best."

 

"I'm glad you feel better. Now let's go get washed up, yeah? Then you can put the books away and we can watch some movies for the night. And tomorrow we'll relax and do absolutely nothing until dinner. How's that sound?"

 

"Okay." Louis agreed. He was soft and tired, pretty much willing to do whatever Harry suggested.

 

Harry kissed his hair, "I've never seen you so stressed over school. Do you want to talk about it? Is there something going on?"

 

"Nothing to talk about. Exams are always stressful. A lot of pressure, you know? That's all." It wasn't a complete lie. Of course exams were tough and stressful, and it was all truth. The fact that there was more to it, well, he'd keep that to himself for now. He could work through it on his own.

 

At least he liked to think so.

 

"Alright, sweetheart. Let's get into the bath. Then we'll eat all those cookies you made us."

 

Louis giggled softly, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and kissing his cheek, "Sounds good. Carry me?"

 

"Of course."

 

They kissed softly, mouths closed and gently moving together. Louis wanted to share with him what was troubling him, but there was enough on both their shoulders at the moment that it didn't seem right. Although he appeared to be fine, Louis knew Harry must be worried about dinner with his family and was trying to act brave about it. He couldn't add to that. Not when it might pass as dinner came and he could think about other things.

 

Maybe tomorrow everything would seem a little brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I can say that hasn't already been said - you are the most wonderful and kind people in the world <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy <3

Harry had been ready for the last hour or so, dressed in a nice blazer and black slacks - a little dressier than he knew his mother would care for. Louis had gone to the bedroom a while ago to get ready, but had yet to exit and Harry had started to worry.

 

When he stepped into their bedroom to see if he was ready, he found himself amidst a mess of clothing and with no Louis in sight.

 

“Um..." He mumbled, frowning at the mess. As much as Louis liked to throw things about, he had gotten a lot better in the last few months and had gotten used to making disorganized piles rather than organized hurricane victims.

 

He cautiously walked over to the bathroom door, the only place Louis could be, and knocked once, "Lou? You in there?"

 

There was some shuffling and a soft, "Yeah."

 

"Is everything alright?"

 

"No!" He waited a moment but that was his only response.

 

"Can I come in?" He asked, hand already on the doorknob.

 

"I'm not going!"

 

Harry sighed softly and opened the bathroom door. He found Louis sitting on the floor with his back to the tub and his face buried in his arms. Harry stayed near the doorframe, confused and worried.

 

"Lou? What's going on?"

 

Louis looked up at him, eyes red rimmed and puffy from crying, and he had a stubborn pout on his lips, "I can't go. I'm sorry, but... I can't. You'll be fine on your own."

 

Harry, still a bit confused, went to join Louis on the floor, taking a seat next to him and folding his hands in his lap as he paused to think on his words, "Okay. So, um... What is this about then?"

 

Louis glared down at his feet for a moment, then stood up abruptly. He walked out of the bathroom and Harry followed behind, still very confused, "I'm not going to the dinner."

 

"That's not much of an explanation."

 

Louis sat on the bed and sighed, "Listen, Harry, I just... I don't think it's a good idea."

 

"You seemed fine with it all week. Did something happen?" Harry asked, sitting down next to him and gently placing a hand on his lower back comfortingly.

 

"I'm sorry, Harry. I know how hard this is for you and I want to support you in this and I really wanted to do this for you, but I just can't." Louis brought his legs up to his chest, burying himself in his knees again - mostly too embarrassed to face Harry.

 

Harry kissed what he could reach of his cheek and rubbed his back, "Louis, I won't force you to come with me, I just want to understand what's troubling you."

 

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Louis mumbled, shoulders shaking as he cried into his knees.

 

Harry stood off the bed and faced it, placing one knee by Louis and bent down to be more at his eye level. He put his hands on his cheeks and urged him to face him, "Talk to me, sweetheart. I can't guess what's going on here. You don't have to be sorry, just talk to me, okay?"

 

Louis averted his gaze, but didn't pull away from Harry's hold on him, "S'just... I... I've never met a guy's parents before, okay?! I know, it's fucking stupid and I'm an idiot, but I..." He stopped there, lips pulled into a thin line and cheeks shining from unwiped tears.

 

"It's not stupid, Louis." Harry reassured him before moving onto the matter at hand, "You mean you've never met a boyfriend's parents before? Is that it?"

 

"Yeah. When there starts to be talk about meeting the family is pretty much when I bail." Louis had his eyes glued to the rug, refusing to admit that while looking Harry in the eyes.

 

"You... Dumped them when they wanted you to meet their parents?" Harry sounded more confused than anything else.

 

"I know it sounds stupid."

 

"It's not stupid." Harry repeated, "But what is it about meeting parents that scares you so much that you'd end relationships over it?"

 

Louis took in a deep breath and finally looked up at Harry, "Parents don't like me." He said softly, voice still thick and scratchy from crying.

 

Harry stared at him for a moment as he digested the words, "What do you mean? Why do you think that if you've never met anybody's parents?"

 

"Adults don't like me. They think I'm loud and irresponsible and a bad influence. My friend's parents never liked me, and even adults I meet at work think I'm some sort of problem child. Always assumed my boyfriend's family would be the same, and I'm too scared to find out for sure." Louis explained as more tears slipped from his eyes that Harry was quick to clear away.

 

"I see." Harry pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead giving time for the tears to subside, "Does this have anything to do with those asshole teachers you used to have?"

 

"Well they didn't like me either." Louis said sardonically.

 

"Okay, and does this still happen now?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Do the teachers you have now say rude things to you? Or your friend's parents? Or people at your work? Or are you assuming that adults dislike you because of the way they treated you in the past?" Harry elaborated, keeping his tone gentle and encouraging for Louis.

 

Louis shrugged, "I guess. I don't know. My teachers seem to like me now, but it's hard to tell, and I don't really meet my friend's parents anymore, so I can't judge on that too much... I like to think I get on with people, but..."

 

"But you're scared." Harry finished for him, and Louis nodded, glancing back down at the floor. Harry moved to sit on the bed next to Louis, body still turned to him, and took his hands in his, "Okay, I think I get it."

 

"I know it's dumb, and I really wanted to do this for you because I know that this is so much harder for you than it is for me, but I... I... I'm gonna fuck this up for you, Harry, I know I will. You're better off leaving me here. I promise it's the better choice."

 

Harry gave his hands a squeeze and only spoke up once Louis met his gaze, albeit hesitantly, "Louis, the only reason I invited you to come is because I want you there with me. If you really don't want to go, it's okay. I won't be mad and I won't hold this against you, I understand that this is difficult for you. And I don't want you comparing how we're feeling here either, okay? We're both stressed for different reasons, it's not any harder for either of us."

 

Harry waited until Louis nodded to show he was listening.

 

"Good. Now I'm going to ask you to trust me here, alright? I know this is hard for you, but I still ask that you come."

 

"Harry, I-" Louis tried to push back, but Harry shushed him.

 

"Let me finish, and then you can decide. I need you to trust that I know you and my family well enough to know that they're going to love you. _Listen_ -" Harry kept a firm grip on Louis hands to keep him from pulling away from him, "My mother wouldn't have insisted I bring you in the first place if she had any doubts as to how special you are to me, or how amazing you are in general, really. And you and Gemma are going to get on so well, since she loves to torture me as much as you do. I know this is scary, but I'm asking you to trust me."

 

Louis sighed softly, feeling drained by this point, "Of course I trust you, Harry. But what if you're wrong? Or what if I do something or I say something and I completely offend them and I make everything all awkward and then they'll hate me and I'll make you look bad and... Jesus Christ, I sound like such a fucking idiot." He set his feet down on the floor and pulled his hands out of Harry's to bury his face in them.

 

Harry laid a gentle hand on his thigh, giving him some time to settle before speaking up, "Lou, look at me." He urged in a soft tone. It took a few seconds, but he eventually dropped his hands and looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye, "You're not an idiot, Louis. I've told you before, your old teachers were a bunch of fucking cunts. It's okay that you're a bit freaked, I get it, I honestly do. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or unhappy. You're my favourite person in the whole world, and I want you to meet my family. I'm begging you to trust me, trust that I'm asking you to come because I know it's going to go well."

 

Louis leaned his head on Harry's shoulder and stared ahead for a quiet moment. He took hold of his hand and squeezed it tightly, "Okay, I'll go." He said, tone at ease for the first time that evening.

 

"Really?!" Harry quickly turned to him, causing him to be thrown off kilter for a second before he caught himself. Harry's bright smile turned into a frown suddenly, "Are you just doing this to make me happy? Because I don't want that. I want you there, but I don't want to risk making you miserable either, you know?"

 

"I'm doing this for both of us," Louis straightened up and turned to Harry, a smile on his lips, "I do trust you, and I want you to know it. And maybe it's time I do this. I can't just never meet anybody's family because I'm scared, and I want to meet them. You obviously really love them, so they must be pretty special."

 

"And so are you."

 

Louis giggled and smushed his face in Harry's shoulder. Harry kissed his hair and he drew back after a pause, expression soft, "I'm sorry for freaking on you. I know you don't need that sort of shit on you right now."

 

Harry moved to wrap his arms around Louis' neck, gently pulling him to his chest in a near suffocating hug, "Oh, don't worry about it, babe. Honestly I'd rather be focusing on you instead of this dinner."

 

"Thank you." Louis murmured into Harry's shirt, enjoying being wrapped up by him and feeling much more relaxed now that they'd spoken. He'd wanted so badly to be able to work through it on his own so as to avoid worrying or stressing Harry further, but he should have known he'd end up in this very spot eventually. He pulled back only far enough give him a gentle kiss.

 

"You are very, very welcome." Harry said with a bright smile in place.

 

"You're um, you're my favourite person too, by the way." Louis said shyly.

 

Harry stared at him in surprise for a brief moment, and then he grinned, staying silent as he simply tugged Louis in for a long kiss. Once parted Louis wiped his hands over his face, clearing the wet streaks on his cheeks, and he let out a sigh.

 

"I'm gonna try and clear up my face a bit, I won't be long. Is this okay or should I go more dressy?" Louis asked, gesturing to his outfit. It was a simple tee and jeans mix, far more casual than Harry's attire, but it wasn't him to dress up unless he really had to.

 

"It's perfect. I'll meet you in the kitchen." Harry kissed his cheek and stood up, leaving Louis to finish getting ready while he prepared his anxious boyfriend a soothing cup of tea. He pulled out his phone, checked around, and then dialed the second number in his 'recent' list.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Mum, hey!"

 

"Hiya, love, how're you doing?"

 

"I'm good, I'm good. We'll be heading out in just a bit. I wanted to give you a bit of a heads up though. Lou's real nervous about this, so he might be a bit... Off."

 

"Nervous? Why is he nervous? Have you been telling stories, Harry?"

 

"No, no, nothing like that. In short he's had shit authority figures. Can you tell Gemma to take it easy on him, too? I'm sure he'll be okay once he gets to know you guys and stuff, but I don't want to freak him before that happens. Know what I mean?"

 

"Of course, I'll let her know. Poor thing. You let him know we're very excited to meet him, alright?"

 

"Will do. Thanks, mum. I've gotta go, but we'll see you soon."

 

"Sounds good. Love you."

 

"Love you too."

 

Harry quickly ended the call once he heard the bedroom door open in the distance. He finished the tea and had it ready for Louis just as he stepped into the kitchen, face washed up and seeming much more relaxed than he'd been in the last couple days.

 

"Made you some tea for the ride." Harry held out a travel mug that Louis took gratefully.

 

"Thanks, babe. We ready to go?"

 

"Yeah, let's go."

 

They took Harry's car this time around, and he set up his GPS with his sister's address and started the relatively short drive there. He'd wanted to have dinner at his mum's place in Manchester, but they had both decided that it might be best to do it at Gemma's new place in London. Anne had been meaning to drive down and Harry wasn't quite sure he could be in his hometown yet. That would probably be too much nostalgia at once.

 

He held Louis' hand over the gear shift, palm growing slowly sweatier.

 

Louis was terrified, but he knew how much Harry needed his support and kept a brave face. He squeezed his hand and offered him an encouraging smile. Harry returned it and turned up the music in the car, the boys singing along to soothe their nerves.

 

When they pulled up at Gemma's and parked behind his mother's car, Harry stayed still behind the wheel much as he'd done when they'd gone to visit Louis' family.

 

Louis brought their linked hands up to his lips and pressed a warm kiss to Harry's palm, "You be brave for me, and I'll be brave for you. Deal?"

 

"The last time I saw her I insulted her and yelled at her. I'd never done that before." Harry shivered at the memory.

 

"Deal?" Louis pressed, squeezing his hand again to gain his focus.

 

Harry faced him with a small smile on his lips, "Deal." He acquiesced, forcing himself to push back those thoughts. They were in this together and they would get through it together.

 

They stepped out of the car and walked up to the front door, knocking twice to signal their arrival. The door flew open and Anne stood before them with the brightest expression on her face.

 

"Harry!" She greeted him.

 

Louis took a step back as she hugged her son tightly, tears spilling freely as they stood wrapped together in the doorway. He watched affectionately as Harry's shoulders shook, indicating he'd begun to cry as well. There were footsteps in the house and soon Louis spotted another woman in the hall.

 

"Is that my baby brother?!"

 

Louis recognized both of them from the pictures loitering Harry's house, although clearly a few years had passed. When Anne pulled back Gemma was quick to take her spot, hugging her brother just as tightly. Louis gently touched the tip of his fingers to Harry's lower back in a comforting gesture and waited patiently for the hug to end.

 

"It's so good to see you, Harry." Gemma said as she took a step back.

 

Harry wiped his face to clear his tears and grinned, "You too, Gems."

 

The two woman ushered them into the house and once inside Anne faced Louis with a welcoming smile in place, "And you must be Louis. It's a pleasure to meet you." She held out a hand that Louis shook, hoping his hand wasn't noticeably sweaty.

 

"Likewise." Harry could tell immediately how anxious Louis still was by his soft spoken tone, but knew to give him time to adjust.

 

"Louis, this is my mum Anne and my sister Gemma. And as you know, this is Louis." Harry introduced them officially, and Louis went on to shake Gemma's hand next.

 

There were still a few tears, but they eventually migrated to the living room where they took some seats to chat before dinner. Louis took a spot on the single seat, letting Harry sit between his mother and sister. Although he still didn't feel like he should be there, Harry's family had been incredibly welcoming and it had put him far more at ease. It was obvious why Harry had been so desperate to make things right with them, they clearly loved and cared for him deeply. Louis was overjoyed for Harry as he knew he hadn't expected, but had hoped, for this kind of reception.

 

"How have you been, darling? What have you been up to?"

 

"I've been good. A million times better since the last time you saw me. You know I went to rehab eventually after the last time we saw each, and I was there for quite some time. And after that I did some traveling and I've been back in London for..."

 

"Six months." Louis chipped in and Harry smiled gratefully.

 

"Yeah, six months now, and I've been back to work. I'm taking things slow, but I think it's good for me to be productive again."

 

"Are you sure sweetheart? I mean, it wasn't so good for you the first time around."

 

"I know, but right now I'm only writing some music and recording a few songs mostly for fun. I won't sign with anyone officially until I know they won't treat me badly like the last one. Besides, I've got Louis looking out for me, so I won't be making too many bad decisions." Harry winked at him, and Louis laughed softly.

 

"That's good to hear. And you're having a good time of it, right? You're not pushing yourself too hard or anything?"

 

"No, no, I'm alright. I'm... happy doing the work I'm doing right now. Like I said, I'm still taking it easy, and I'm not stressing myself trying to impress anybody or anything like that. I'm doing this for me, which is honestly a lot of fun."

 

"Okay, well as long as you're taking care of yourself, honey, then I'm really happy for you."

 

"I am, I promise I am. And how are you guys? It's been so long, I feel so out of the loop."

 

"It's been too long, to be honest I'm not sure what you were there for and what you weren't." Gemma said, "I got married, and I'm still married. I'm pretty sure you were there for the engagement."

 

"Yeah..." He wouldn't say he was 'there' so much as... mildly present.

 

"We have two kids now. Not sure if you knew that or not. They're with their dad right now, I didn't want to, um, confuse them or anything..." She trailed off awkwardly.

 

Harry smiled to reassure her, "It's okay. I get it. How old are they?"

 

"Two and four. I figure maybe next time you come 'round I'll have them at home."

 

"I'd like that. And how about you, mum? All work and no play?"

 

"As always, darling."

 

"And how are the boys? I've seen Liam recently, but I don't really know how Niall and Zayn are doing. Have you spoken to them at all since...? I kind of assumed you would, but..."

 

"We've stayed in touch. They're doing very well, very happy young men, but I'm sure they'll tell you all about it next time you see them." Anne reached out and took his cheeks in hand, patting them gently, "Harry, you look so much healthier than the last time I saw you. You have colour in your cheeks again."

 

"It took a while to stop looking like death," Harry said dryly, dropping the tone once he saw the sad look on his mother's face, "But I've gotten myself some much healthier habits. Even took up gardening. It's quite relaxing."

 

"That's good. That's what they say, you know, that you need to replace the bad habits with good ones. Well, I'm sure you've got loads of tricks by now."

 

"I'll check on dinner, it should be just about ready. I made stew, is that alright?" Gemma aimed this more towards Louis, less familiar with his eating habits than her brother's - despite the years apart.

 

"Sounds good." Louis said, somehow still feeling shy. Luckily Harry's family didn't know him well enough to know it was strange, but Harry sent him a gentle smile to encourage him. It didn't really help, but the thought was nice.

 

Gemma left them to check on her meal, and Anne kept still, eyes still on her only son. Louis could only imagine how difficult it would have been for her as a mother to watch her child suffer without being able to help him. His own mother had struggled when he'd started taking drugs back in high school, how she'd been scared for his health, but also scared of making him feel ostracised. It had been a trying time, but it didn't last long enough to impact his family so deeply.

 

Harry had suffered so long, and the damage was deeply rooted in all of them. Yet his family welcomed him back with open arms, and Louis couldn't be any prouder for how hard he'd worked to get to that point. They could clearly see how much he'd wanted to fix their relationships and were willing to make some efforts on their end too.

 

"And how are you doing, Louis? Harry's told me quite a bit about you in our short conversations," She teased, patting Harry's hand affectionately and he only smiled in response, "I'm glad you were able to come over tonight, he mentioned you had exams soon, is that right?"

 

"Oh, um, next week. We have our study week right now, so we have a bit of time to ourselves, so, yeah..."

 

"What are you studying?"

 

"Child psychology."

 

"That's wonderful!"

 

She prodded a bit further into his studies and what else he was doing with his time, seeming genuinely interested in learning more about him. Gemma returned shortly after to advise them that dinner was ready, and they followed her to the dining room and took seats at the table. They chatted between bites, the table lively and joyful.

 

Louis kept an eye on Harry all the while, pleased to see how bright his eyes were and how genuine his smile was, wanting to capture it all to remember later.

 

When dinner was over and their chatting came to a close, the two boys were escorted to the front door and given hugs and kisses before leaving. Louis considered it a successful evening, though he still felt a little strange about it. They said their farewells and returned to their car, Louis taking the wheel as Harry didn't seem particularly focused.

 

Harry took his hand and squeezed it, but remained quiet for the ride home. Louis considered saying something, but wasn't sure what he would say or if it would really be wanted at the moment. Harry was leaning back into the seat, eyes facing forward with his attention far away.

 

The two homes were only about a fifteen minute drive apart, and they were back home in what felt like a much shorter amount of time.

 

He parked the car into the garage and turned it off, and Louis waited behind the wheel for any reaction from Harry, but there was none, "Harry? You in there?" He removed his seatbelt and leaned over the center armrest, poking Harry's cheek in an effort to draw his attention.

 

"Yeah... yeah." Harry finally turned to him, face bright and open to him, "M'here."

 

"Good." Louis kissed his cheek, "Did you want to head into the house, or chill here for a bit?" He poked his cheek again in a teasing manner.

 

"Want to kiss you." He teased back, shortening the space between them just enough to make Louis blush, despite having kissed this man hundreds of times.

 

"Mm. Don't you always?" Louis took hold of a stray curl and tugged on it until Harry leaned in all the way, pressing their lips together in a warm kiss. "Let's head in, yeah?"

 

"Yeah."

 

They made their way into the house, Harry leading them to the kitchen mostly to putter about and keep his hands busy more than anything else. Louis sat at the island and watched him work around for a few minutes before he decided to speak up.

 

"So... Wanna like, talk at all, or...?"

 

Harry paused and sent a small smile his way, "Just trying to gather my thoughts." He admitted.

 

"Want me to...?" Louis pointed in a random direction, wondering if he would rather be left alone to think.

 

"No," He said quickly. He took a seat next to Louis and leaned into him, moving to wrap an arm around his waist, "Never go. You're never allowed to leave."

 

Louis shook his head in amusement and pat Harry's cheek affectionately, "Okay, darling."

 

They sat in silence for a long moment, Louis letting Harry think without interrupting him this time. Harry was worryingly still for a few moments, eventually pulling away and facing Louis, face open and soft.

 

"Thank you." Harry said in possibly the gentlest voice Louis had ever heard from him.

 

"What for?" Louis asked, a confused smile on his lips.

 

"Thank you for coming. I know how hard it was for you, and I appreciate you toughing it out for me. I'm really, really happy that you came and met my family."

 

"I'm happy I did too." Louis placed a hand on the table with his palm up, and Harry smoothly accepted the invitation to link their fingers together in a purely affectionate touch.

 

"They liked you a lot, you know. Mum thinks you're amazing." Louis glanced off to the side, not quite believing the statement. Besides, he was meant to be making Harry feel good about the night, not the other way around. Although it was probably his way of coping, willing to digest the information and the night's events slowly rather than think about them head on. At Louis' obvious hesitance, Harry pulled out his phone and started clicking a couple things before showing Louis the screen, "Mum sent this as soon as we left."

 

(From: Mom 09:18 p.m)

_You're keeping this one, right? I like this one._

 

"What is she... Oh." Louis ducked his head shyly and leant his weight against Harry.

 

"Mm. Told you."

 

Louis looked up at Harry, cheeks red and eyes bright with contentment, "Well, um, that's... Nice. That's really nice. And they were obviously super happy to see you. I'm not sure how your mum ever stopped crying. Or you, for that matter."

 

Harry laughed loudly, a mix of genuinity and fatigue, "I feel like... It went well, I think."

 

"It really did. You have no idea how happy I am for you. I know how badly you wanted this and it's awesome to see you get it."

 

"Thanks, Lou. It's been a pretty good day, hasn't it?"

 

"It has." He agreed.

 

"I'm gonna head to bed. I know it's early, but it's also kind of been a long day. You can totally go do whatever you want, but if you happen to want a cuddle I wouldn't say no." Harry suggested none too subtly.

 

Louis rolled his eyes at his antics and slipped off his seat with his hand still in Harry's, "Come on, you big dork." He tugged a grinning Harry off his own seat and they made their way to their bedroom.

 

They changed into pajamas, or whatever stood in place of, and settled into bed. Louis cuddled into Harry's awaiting arms and rested his cheek against his chest, listening to his calming heartbeat. Louis closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, the day long and mentally exhausting, but he could tell Harry wasn't resting by his grip on his hand and his uneven breathing pattern.

 

Louis briefly realized that it was a tad odd to be so used to his breaths and heartbeat, but the thought passed as he focused on Harry. "Babe?"

 

"Mm?"

 

"You alright?"

 

Harry chuckled at how easily Louis knew there was still something on his mind, but quickly returned to his thoughts, "Yeah, I just... There's just... Can I tell you something?"

 

"Always, Harry." Louis attempted to shift to get Harry's face in view, but was held in place by his strong grip.

 

"I think it'll be easier if you're not looking at me," Harry explained, "There's something that I haven't told anybody that I want to tell you.  I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but... It's kind of hard to talk about. But it seems like we're at this point where I can't _not_ tell you. You know what I mean?"

 

"Yeah, I know, but don't rush it either. Tell me when you're ready. You know I'm always here to listen."

 

Harry's hold on his hand tightened at his words, and he let out a long breath, "I know. But I'm ready. Or as ready as I'll ever be, anyways."

 

"Alright, love, then I'm all ears."

 

"I don't know why that after everything I've told you about myself and the things I've done that this is the hardest to say. After everything, I don't want this to be the thing that puts you off, but it's too important not to tell you. At least, that's how it feels like in my head. It's more recent than everything else, it's actually the day I met you. Do you remember that?"

 

"Course I remember." Something clicked all of a sudden about that day. He had a feeling that that was exactly where Harry was headed with the conversation.

 

"I never told you why I was there."

 

It was strange, thinking back on it. Louis was pretty sure Harry hadn't been drinking, but from his reaction to being around alcohol, or those who'd been drinking it, he knew it wouldn't have been easy for him to just sit around in that kind of place. It wasn't exactly the friendliest club for recovering alcoholics.

 

"By then I'd been in London for a month. The travelling was nice and it helped clear my mind, but it felt too much like running away and I wanted to go home. But I got there and... I was lonely, Louis. I was really fucking lonely. I had no family, no friends, no acquaintances I could call up to chat with. And honestly I had no idea where to start, I didn't think it would make a difference even if I did try anything. I gave up."

 

Harry was silent for a minute, only pressing on at the reassuring squeeze to his hand, "I wanted... Despite everything that had happened... I had thought about it, but it never got to the point where - that was it. I wanted to die. I had it all planned out, too. I had gotten rid of all the drugs in the house, except for one bottle of painkillers. I'd never been able to throw them out, I guess maybe because I always knew I'd give up. I figured the thing that ruined my life should take it too. I thought it would be poetic. Justice, maybe? I don't know.

 

I went to the club to get so shit-faced I couldn't remember my own name, and then I was going to go home and... I was going to kill myself that night. I was so set on it, every little thing planned, even wrote letters to my family and a note and shit. Do you know how many people thought that that's how I'd end up? So many people were just waiting for the headline, waiting to hear that ' _Harry Styles has commited suicide_ '. I hated the idea of making them right, but I was tired, Louis. You have to understand that I... I knew I was giving up, but I had tried to find a reason to live and there was nothing. I couldn't see anything worth sticking around for. I'd thought I'd be doing everyone a favour.

 

I had just ordered a drink when the most beautiful person in the world walked up to me with the prettiest smile I had ever seen and asked me to dance. How could I say no? Then I decided that... I could wait a bit for the dying thing. The idea of kissing you was a million times more appealing. It was the first time in ages I'd felt I was being seen rather than just looked at. And then the next morning I woke up and you were still there, and I was holding you, and...

 

I don't know. It was like suddenly I remembered what I wanted from myself, what I wanted from my life. When I saw the articles that came out, instead of being sad, I was... Determined. I think I was inspired by your passion for life and I wanted that. I wanted to be like that. And well, you know the rest after that. That's why I wanted to tell you. I thought it was important that you know just how much you've impacted my life and that I really mean it when I say you're so, so special to me. You saved my life that day, and I wanted to thank you for that."

 

Louis let out a shaky breath, tears dripping onto Harry's chest. He moved up and this time Harry didn't stop him, and he leaned over him to face him, the curtains pulled open and the moon lightning up the room enough to make out each other's features. He was still crying and a few stray tears landing on his face, but neither moved to wipe them away.

 

"Thank you." Louis said, voice hoarse. He pressed their cheeks together and placed a hand on his other cheek to hold him close.

 

Harry wrapped his arms around his shoulders, holding him as he shook in his effort to hold back sobs, "Louis, I... What's-"

 

"Thank you for not going through with it. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for giving me this time with you." Louis mumbled and kissed his cheek.

 

Harry ran a hand through his hair in an effort to calm him, feeling very startled by his behaviour, "It's... I..." He tried to control his stuttering, and attempted to form some version of a coherent sentence, "I couldn't leave the person who believes in me. Wouldn't want to make you a liar, now would I?"

 

Louis giggled softly, shaking his head in mild frustration, "I mean it. I can't stand to think how boring my life would be without you in it. I'd miss you too much. You don't, um, you don't have them anymore, right?" He asked cautiously.

 

"The painkillers?"

 

"Yeah." Louis withdrew far enough to see his face, a little less tearful and calmed down after a few deep breaths.

 

"No, I threw them out when I moved. Flushed right down the toilet." Harry said proudly.

 

"That's good, that's really good. Do you... do you still feel like that sometimes?"

 

Harry paused for a moment, wanting to think on it before offering a response, and then he smiled, "I haven't, actually. I think at the time I'd hit emotional rock bottom, and I haven't felt the same way since. Having you and with the work I've been doing, I've honestly been in a better place than I've been in years."

 

"You'll tell me though, right? If you ever... I know we weren't this close at the time, but at least for the future I want you to know that I'm here."

 

"I know that, Lou."

 

"Good, okay." He mumbled and bent down again, burying his face in his neck, "S'just... Don't want you to leave me."

 

"I won't. I didn't mean to scare you, Louis, I told you that to let you know that I actually really _don't_ want to leave you. I have no intention of leaving you ever."

 

"Sorry. Think maybe I'm just having one of those super emotional days, you know I don't usually cry this much." Louis cleared his throat, trying desperately to sound calm, and ignoring the look on Harry's face that indicated he knew he was lying, "Thank you for telling me this. I know it's not the easiest thing to talk about."

 

"I'm glad I did."

 

"And I know you want to think I'm the one who saved your life that night, but I didn't. Not really. You chose to save yourself. You're so strong, Harry, and so brave, you just don't always know it, that's all. But it's okay, because I know it and I'll remind you as often as it takes to get through that thick skull of yours."

 

Harry moved Louis until he was able to face him, bringing their lips together in a sweet kiss. Louis understood what Harry was trying to say in his touch, taking in the unsaid words through the warmth and comfort of their embrace. They didn't need to speak any further, knowing that anything else they would want to say had already been whispered in the breaths shared between them. The thank you's and the promises, the hopes and dreams.

 

There were many words Louis tried to convey too, but he was pretty sure they weren't being received quite as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note in case it wasn't quite clear - I'm not saying that you can save a person. Only they can do that themselves. But you can inspire someone, give them hope and determination to save themselves.
> 
> I will admit I was a bit teary-eyed when I wrote the last bit, and I remember that it drained me a bit emotionally, but I am quite happy with how it turned out.
> 
> Thank you all so very much for your wonderful comments and I hope you liked this chapter <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy <3

(From: Mum 10:12 a.m)

It's so lovely! Why didn't you tell me about this before?

 

(From: Boo Bear 10:16 a.m)

What?

 

...

 

(From: Aaron 10:14 a.m)

Mate! Siiiiick!

 

(From: Louis 10:16 a.m)

What's sick?

 

...

 

(From: Lottie 10:14 a.m)

Mum told me about it, can't believe you didn't tell me. Sounds really great though, congrats!

 

(From: Louis 10:17 a.m)

...What sounds good?

 

...

 

(From: Mum 10:17 a.m)

The song silly. It's so lovely, I'm very very proud of you.

 

(From: Aaron 10:17 a.m)

Your song bro! You and your boy a proper duo now? #dreamteam

 

(From: Lottie 10:17 a.m)

I knew you liked to write, but this is actually impressive.  Will you two do more stuff like this one? I love it.

 

**OoOoO**

 

"Hiiii!"

 

"Why do I have the feeling you did something without telling me?"

 

"You see, Louis, my darling, light of my life, I-"

 

"We discussed this telling me things ahead of time shit, Harold."

 

"Technically that was only if I thought you'd get mad about it."

 

"Right. And you're sure I won't be mad now, are you?"

 

"Absolutely. It was a very last second decision made approximately thirty minutes ago. You know I would have talked to you if I'd had the chance. It's not like I purposely kept this a secret from you, or anything like that."

 

"What did you do? I've got a bunch of texts from people talking about some _thing_ or other, and I'd quite like to know what it is."

 

"I released a song! On Soundcloud a little bit ago."

 

"Really?! That's awesome, Harry! But why was it so rushed to be released this morning?"

 

"I got the okay from Julian and Aisha this morning. They listened to the final version, approved it, and said I could put it out for free without any problems... And I was too impatient to wait after that."

 

"Of course you were. Which one is it?"

 

"The one we wrote together obviously. That's why I had you listen to it yesterday. You're cool with it being out for free right? I didn't think to ask, but kinda figure you won't really care to be honest."

 

"Yeah, whatever Harry. Why would that matter to me?"

 

"Because you're my co-writer. Normally there'd be royalties and stuff, but I didn't want to ask people to pay for something I'm trying to use to reinvent my image. I want them to have an idea of what I can do and when I start putting out music for purchase they'll know that it won't totally suck. I hope."

 

"Yeah, that makes sense. Mum thinks it's great, by the way. Lottie too. But, um..."

 

"Did you see the trends on Twitter? There's two already! One's ' _Stylesisback_ ', but I love this second one. We're the hashtag _'dreamteam_ '. Awesome, innit?"

 

"... I knew Aaron couldn't have thought of that on his own. And that's awesome - it really is, but I don't get why there's a 'we'. Why does anyone think I'm involved?"

 

"Because you are...?"

 

"..."

 

"... Did you really honestly think I wasn't going to give you writing credits?"

 

"Well, I mean-"

      

" _Lewis_."

 

"What?! Look, you're sweet and all, but I hardly did anything. I just gave you a few words here and there."

 

"Some people call that writing. You know what? I know you're only gonna argue with me about this, so let's drop it. Of course I said we wrote it together, and people seem to like it, and I am very happy about this. So there."

 

"You are the most ridiculous popstar in the world-"

 

"Rockstar!"

 

"But I'm excited for you. Everyone loves it. My phone is still buzzing 'cause I'm getting a bunch of texts all about this song of yours. You'll be getting some of those fancy-pantsy business calls about labels and shit in no time."

 

"Well, none of those yet, but I did get a text from a super old mate about possibly having it played on the radio."

 

"Fuck, that's brilliant, Harry! Are you sure you want to be on the radio, though? Won't that go against your hipster image?"

 

"Piss off."

 

"Absolutely not."

 

"You know what? I think I'll make ' _hashtag dreamteam_ ' my next single. I think the fans would love it."

 

"And I'd even duet it with you."

 

"... Really?"

 

"... _No_!"

 

"Last I checked Genevieve thought we were the best duo ever."

 

"And let's leave it at that! Okay, I am super late coming back from my break, so I have to go, but we'll talk more when I get home alright?"

 

"I'll be here celebrating all by my lonesome."

 

"... Are you pruning in the tub again?"

 

"..."

 

"I'm honestly happy for you though. It's a good song - very you. Now don't go forgetting little ol' me when you get all famous, alright? Remember, nobody else can tolerate awful knock knock jokes as well as I can."

 

"And no one can ruin designer clothes quite like you either."

 

"That was once, Harold! Let it go. And don't-"

 

"Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore!"

 

" _Goodbye_."

 

"Miss you already."

 

"I'll see you soon, you loser. Take care and don't fall asleep in that tub!"

 

"Mwah!"

 

**OoOoO**

Louis only got home a few hours later, and his phone hadn't stopped vibrating. Although to be fair at least half the texts received were from an impatient Harry Styles. Everyone loved the song judging by the messages he was getting, and he had quickly glanced through Twitter only to find similar comments.

 

He called out for Harry as he stepped inside, leaving his shoes to the side and putting away his keys. There was a response from the nearest living room, which was surprising since Louis had expected to find him still in the tub.

 

"Hiya, love." Louis greeted as he entered the living room. Harry was seated on the floor with his back against the sofa and laptop on the coffee table in front of him.

 

He turned his attention to Louis, dimples popping into place with his lips stretched into a bright smile, "Lou! You're finally home!" He held his arms open and Louis accepted the invitation, taking a seat next to him and leaning into the hug and kiss.

 

"You're lucky you're cute, because I swear if anyone else texted me ten times in one minute I'd murder them. You're the most annoying person when you're lonely."

 

"But I missed you!" Harry said petulantly, pouting and burrowing his face in the crook of Louis' neck.

 

"Well, when you're off touring the world and leaving me all by my lonesome I'll be sure to return the favour." Louis moved to place his back to the couch, Harry shifting away but leaving an arm around his shoulders.

 

"Never. You'll be coming with me. You can be my cheerleader, I'll even get you the outfit - pompoms and all." Harry waved his free arm in the air, mimicking some cheerleading motions.

 

Louis laughed, "You wish, Harold." He pointed towards the laptop, drawing their attention to it, "I see you've been on twitter. All day, I imagine."

 

"You know, I put the song out on a whim knowing if I didn't do it in that moment I would've chickened out, and like... I didn't expect much. I thought people would see my name and not even bother listening to it, but... The feedback has been... So much more than I could have ever imagined."

 

"I've gotten so many lovely messages from my family and friends about it all day long, everyone is mad about it." Louis said as way of agreeing.

 

"Mum called me this morning. She said she liked it and she's very excited for me, she's looking forward to more... And it'll be on the radio tomorrow. There's some approval process first, but it should be on in the morning. I haven't had a song on the radio in years."

 

"It's amazing." Louis said, "And everything I've seen online has been very supportive too."

 

"It's kind of overwhelming." Harry admitted.

 

Louis reached up with one hand and took hold of Harry's hand loosely draped over his shoulder and linked their fingers, turning his head to the side to kiss his palm, "That's what happens when you're talented. Gotta admit I've hardly stopped listening to it myself."

 

Harry laughed as his cheeks turned red, "I'm not quite sure that's it, but thanks."

 

"My boy," Louis let go of Harry's hand and used both of his own to grip Harry's cheeks, tugging him in and laying soft kisses all over his face and laughing lips, "Is so talented! My little star, my little singer." He grew warm at his laughter, always proud when he made him happy.

 

"Stop! Looou!" Harry whined, wiggling a bit but not putting in any actual effort into getting away from him.

 

Louis placed one last kiss to his lips before drawing back, breathless and smiling brightly, "I mean it, you know. You did good, Harry, and you deserve this." Louis vaguely gestured towards the laptop, talking about the comments on the screen.

 

"Couldn't have done it without you." Harry said as he caught his own breath, affection clear in his words and his smile.

 

"Yes you could have." Louis denied, but it didn't change the look on Harry's face.

 

"Wouldn't want to. I'd be pretty lonely without the other half of the dream team."

 

Louis simply shook his head at the comment. Harry was sweet, and so was the trend, but it was hard. Had been for a while, honestly. Every time Louis opened his mouth to speak, to start the difficult conversation about _us_ and _home_ and _future_ , he would chicken out, or something would come up, or he figured, well, it can wait until tomorrow. This not speaking his mind thing was... Really quite awful.

 

But there was time, and Harry was so happy, and _they_ were so happy, it seemed almost cruel.

 

Right now it was hard, but it didn't hurt as much as he knew it could. He could wait until then. Right now he only pulled Harry into another kiss, soft and slow and wordless.

 

... And they were interrupted by the sound of Harry's phone going off with an incoming call.

 

Louis drew back, not too upset since it's not like it was his last chance to get a kiss, but it was still shitty timing. Harry took his phone off the table and glanced at the number on the screen, frowning as he didn't recognize it. He hesitantly clicked the green button and brought it up to his ear with a confused sounding, "Hello?"

 

There was some talk, Harry still sounding confused for the most of it, but Louis started zoning out after the first few seconds. He was sure Harry would tell him all about it once it was done, and with no interest in listening to a half-sided conversation, Louis turned back to the laptop and used the wireless mouse to scroll through Harry's Twitter feed.

 

It was interesting to see how direct some people were. And he wasn't sure how any of them thought certain comments were appropriate to submit, but he wasn't their parent and wouldn't say anything on the matter. Though he kind of wanted to.

 

"Oh, um, okay, and that's in..."

 

"Yeah, I see... On the twenty-second? I..."

 

"I'm not... I'll let you know. I'll, uh, sleep on it and call you back."

 

Harry talked for a couple minutes, and Louis vaguely registered his discomfort, suspicion, and confusion, but still didn't pay it much mind. He let him have his conversation, scrolling patiently as he waited for the call to end.

 

It didn't last long, Harry closing the call and his phone and placing it back on the table minutes later. He leaned his head back against the sofa and stared blankly at the ceiling. Louis gave him a moment, but when he still didn't move after a minute he took his hand off the mouse and turned to face him.

 

"Harry? What's up?"

 

Harry didn't move, only parting his lips to share a couple words before falling silent again, "Trying to think, gimme a sec."

 

Louis frowned, but accepted it for now, "Okay." He agreed, returning to scrolling through Harry's Twitter and fighting off the intense desire to make a stupid post under his name. He couldn't help pausing over Harry's tweet from that morning, humbled by Harry's need to include him on something he really didn't feel he took much part in.

 

Harry Styles _@Harry_Styles_

A song me and _@Louis_Tomlinson_ wrote together, hope you enjoy! ( _Link Inserted_ )

 

"I..." Harry said after the silence had stretched on for almost too long. He sat up straight again and looked at Louis, whom had brought his focus to him as soon as he'd spoken, "I was, um... I was just invited to the Brits. They want me to present an award."

 

"I want to say congrats, but somehow I've got the impression you're not so happy about this."

 

Harry licked his lips anxiously, looking uncertain, "I... don't know. I don't know how to feel about this."

 

"Feels like there's more to this than what I know, because what I do know is that that's a pretty fucking huge opportunity, babe." Louis felt his skin buzzing, wanting to be happy and proud for Harry at the amazing news, because as ignorant as he was to a lot of so-called mainstream things, he knew the Brits like any other British person and knew how huge they were. For Harry to be invited and asked to present an award was a huge deal, a chance he probably hadn't had in years.

 

Yet Harry was clearly not happy. Not necessarily angry or sad either, but certainly contemplative on the matter and not willing to lose himself in thoughts of redemption like he usually did.

 

"It is. It's huge, I just... They're using this song release and the fact that my name's been in papers a lot recently as an excuse to invite me, something to justify it, when in reality I know they only want to fuck with me."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"The thing about the media and other things like that, is that they don't believe that people get better. So many celebrities fuck up, and then look as though they're getting better, only to fuck up again. I know they think the same about me. The last time I went to an award show... I walked on stage, puked my guts out, and then I passed out. I was fucked out of my mind - didn't mean I wasn't embarrassed about it though. But it made good TV, I guess."

 

"But that won't happen this time."

 

"That's not what they think."

 

"How can you know that? Maybe they know you're doing better and want to support you by inviting you to their show."

 

Harry let out a dry laugh, "When you grow up around this shit, you kind of forget that normal people don't know how fucked in the head these people are. All they care about is making a show and making money, they don't give a shit about whether or not I'm doing better and about supporting me. That's not how they work. Their intention here is to make a fool of me."

 

"Oh." Louis said softly. He was still learning a lot about how the celebrity life worked through Harry's stories and memories, but at times it felt like... people could not possibly be that awful. But he trusted Harry and knew he wasn't lying to him about it. "Are you gonna go?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"Maybe you should."

 

"I kind of want to. I know I'm better and I know it won't be like before, but... I don't know. They're going to think I'm going to fuck up, and I don't know if I can just sit around with people waiting for me to make a mistake and then make it out to be a million times worse than it was. I don't know, Lou. I really don't."

 

"I think you should." Louis said, placing a hand on Harry's thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze, "I think you need to go and prove to them that you aren't a fool. Prove to them that you're a better person than they think, prove that you're better than all those motherfuckers."

 

"I'm pretty sure that's easier in theory." Harry said, a smile tugging at his lips at Louis' enthusiasm and passion.

 

"Look, all I'm saying is that, sure they might think you're gonna fuck up, but it doesn't mean you will. This is your chance to prove yourself to these people, to show you're better than them. Do it for them," Louis pointed towards the laptop screen, clearly meaning the fans who'd been leaving him lovely messages all day long, "Do it for the people who love you and your music, the people who do believe in you. I'm sure these people would love to see you back on that stage - even if you're not performing I know they'll be cheering you on."

 

"I... Lou..."

 

"Do it for me." He added almost sounding shy, "Because I know you'll be amazing. Make them kiss your arse."

 

"How do you always know what I want to hear?" Harry asked, voice soft as he tugged Louis in close and pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth.

 

Louis moved to sit in his lap, smiling brightly, "Didn't take those psych classes for nothing, did I?"

 

"Spend a lot of time learning how to talk to washed up rockstars, do you?"

 

"Totally. The first lesson is 'stroke their ego', the second lesson is 'stroke their dick', and third is convince them to go to an award show. Did I pass?"

 

"Mm. Almost. I think I'll sleep on it. I want to really think about it first, just to be sure I'm making the right choice here."

 

"Yeah, I get that." Louis agreed, knowing he'd done his part and the rest was only Harry's choice to make. He'd support him no matter what he decided, but if he didn't take a few risks here and there he might never get where he wanted and Louis couldn't simply let that happen without at least trying to help.

 

"I haven't been to the Brits in years. Doubt they've changed much, but if we go I guess we'll see, yeah? I hope they don't want me to present something stupid." Harry paused then as he caught the look on Louis' face, "... You really need to stop being surprised when I include you in things."

 

"I'm not going to the Brits with you, Harry. M'pretty sure 'shittest student' isn't a category." Louis said and moved a bit further from Harry and turning his body to face him directly. "Also sure they don't let random people in."

 

"You're not a random person, you're my plus one. Everyone's allowed a plus one."

 

"Bring your mum then, she'd like that."

 

Harry released a long-suffering sigh, "Lou, do we really need to go over this again?"

 

"Yes." Louis said shortly.

 

"You wouldn't have to do anything. You'd only be going as my date, and everybody brings a date. It's this normal thing that normal people do where they bring the people they like to fancy shit because that's how it works."

 

Louis sighed and shifted awkwardly, knowing his hesitance was stretching Harry's iron-will patience to its limit, "It's nothing like that, I just don't know if I'd be comfortable."

 

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, sounding a tad gentler.

 

"With like, the pictures and the cameras and stuff... It's a bit more than usual, innit?"

 

"Oh. Ooh, I see. You wouldn't have to come on the carpet with me, if you don't want. The lady said they want me on the carpet, but there's a side door where family and dates and stuff can go if they don't want to be seen. You can do that, and we'd still sit together inside so you wouldn't have to worry about being with random people or anything like that."

 

"And would you be okay being on the carpet by yourself?" Louis moved off of Harry and pressed his back to the sofa and stared down at his lap, playing with his fingers in a movement he knew was more familiar to Harry than himself.

 

"I can handle it."

 

"Not really the answer I'm looking for."

 

Harry turned to Louis and placed a hand on his jaw and forced him to meet his gaze, "Look, of course I want you on the carpet with me. I always want you with me. But I would rather have you comfortable and in the area, than by my side and unhappy. I don't mind how we choose to go about this as long as you're in the audience when I'm supposed to get up on that stupid stage."

 

"Looks like you've made up your mind already."

 

"Like you always say, right? I'm gonna be brave for you, because fuck them. Fuck those motherfuckers who think they're gonna fuck with me. I've come too far to chicken out now." Harry said fiercely, startling Louis who only stared at him with his eyes wide, "And I'd really like to know for sure that when I'm in there that you'll be sitting by my side."

 

Louis thought about it. Of course the moment Harry had mentioned bringing him he'd panicked, refusing immediately, and he wasn't keen on the idea of being seen by so many people. Which was strange, considering that their entire relationship was founded on the factor of being seen, but Louis had started up the bad habit of visiting different social medias and seeing pictures of himself plastered so widely across the internet...

 

It had nothing to do with not wanting to be seen, and all to do with not wanting to be seen with Harry. Redundant and stupid and completely opposite to what they'd been doing for the past six months, but when he saw the pictures of the two together, the one's that people wrote little messages about - it was obvious.

 

All the words he couldn't bring himself to say to Harry or even admit in his own mind were plastered right on his face, right in his eyes. And everyone saw it.

 

Loved up. Heart eyes. Fond. Dreamteam. _Get married already!_

 

All the messages and comments people made about their relationship and what they could see from it, they were true where Louis was concerned. He knew his face was expressive, knew how his face grew soft and his smile somehow more genuine every time he looked at Harry. The pictures were proof enough.

 

The idea that he could be filmed, that his movements and his voice and his actions would be caught in sequence and shown to the world was frightening. Harry could possibly be so naive or ignorant as to think those pictures were simply Louis being a good actor, or it was their friendship showing on his face and nothing else, but even he wouldn't be able to miss it if he saw it in film.

 

Taking a side door and avoiding the cameras entirely was the most tempting thought he'd ever been faced with, because he knew he could support Harry without risking exposing himself too much. Harry seemed happy with the idea, and he would be happy. The reporters would be happy.

 

Yet the thought of leaving Harry to step out of that car all on his own after all this time with his heart on his sleeve and the people sharing that carpet far from wanting to help him, made him hesitate. Harry could put on a brave face, and Louis knew he could handle it - as he'd said - without him, but should he have to do it alone? No - because he wasn't alone.

 

Those people wouldn't be kind. They would push and probe and ask questions, and in that kind of situation Harry wouldn't be able to brush them off as easily as he did when they were simply paps in the street. The last thing he wanted was for this event to hurt Harry, and if Louis being there to hold his hand would help him, maybe it'd be worth the loss of his own self-preservation.

 

The choice was easy enough, when he really thought about it.

 

"Okay." He said softly, moving to his knees and placing his hands on Harry's shoulders.

 

"Okay?" Harry frowned, a little lost as the silence had stretched on for longer than Louis had realized.

 

"I'll go. And I'll be with you the whole time, start to finish. You'll be brave for me, and I'll be brave for you."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"If you want me on that carpet with you, I'll be there. As long as I don't have to wear a tie." Louis grinned, feeling light-hearted and confident with his choice. It may also be caused by the sudden bright smile that spread across Harry's lips, but that was only for him to know.

 

"Deal!" Harry's voice possibly rose a couple octaves in his excitement, and he pounced on top of Louis, knocking them both to the floor.

 

He kissed him breathless - as easy as it was six months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind words!! I really hope you'll continue to enjoy! There's not much left now, only a couple more chappies!!! Thank you all <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there :) I had briefly considered putting this chappie out in two parts, but you've all been so awesome and I couldn't really find the best place to cut it up - so here is all of it!
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3

Louis searched through his closet in an attempt to find something suitable to wear to some fancy red carpet award show, but didn't come up with much.

 

When Harry had cleaned his apartment he'd placed his clothes in organized piles, and with how little time Louis had been spending in his own home they had remained that way until that day. All of his clothes were now strewn across the room, some on the bed that had been made months ago and untouched since, and the rest on the floor or in his hands.

 

He settled on his only pair of black slacks and found his go-to black blazer at the bottom of his closet. He found some t-shirt with a design on it that he put on underneath the blazer, and he stared at himself in his bathroom mirror critically.

 

Harry had said he could go naked for all he cared, and he knew the statement was genuine, so all he had to do was be presentable.  He didn't want to look like he was trying too hard, as that was against his general principles, but he didn't want to seem sloppy either.

 

Having a celebrity boyfriend was almost too much work.

 

"You can do this, Tommo. Ignore the fact that it's stupidly obvious how far gone you are for your ridiculous fake boyfriend. Do this for Harry." He gave his reflection a brief pep talk and nodded resolutely.

 

He left the bathroom and grabbed a few stray items before locking the door to his quiet and unlived apartment and made his way to Harry's. They were taking a rented vehicle and a chauffeur, and so Louis parked his car in her place as she wouldn't be needed.

 

"Hazza!" He called as he stepped into the hall. He kept his shoes on as he made his way to their bedroom, knowing Harry was probably still getting ready. He was late, but didn't feel too bad since he knew Harry had given him an earlier time knowing he would be late. He didn't tell him he knew though, letting him think he'd found the loophole to Louis' habit. No point popping his bubble.

 

"Here!" Harry called back, but by then Louis was already opening the bedroom door.

 

"Hiya, love." Louis said gently, meeting Harry's gaze in the mirror he stood in front of assessing his own outfit.

 

Harry turned to him smiling widely, "Lou! Handsome as always." He held out his hands for Louis to take and tugged him in for a soft kiss.

 

"M'digging the leopard print." Louis was never one to give his opinion on clothing, what with knowing no more than how to put it on (and not even always with some of the things he'd found in Harry's closet), but Harry looked good in anything he put on and he liked to point it out solely to see him grow humble.

 

"Too much?"

 

"Absolutely not."

 

"Good, good, okay. So we still have like, fifteen minutes... That's good. I think I'm ready... I think." Harry ran a hand through his hair nervously, turning back to the mirror and looking himself over again.

 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and curled into his back, placing his chin on his shoulders with the help of his tippy toes and met his eyes in the mirror, "How you feeling?"

 

"Nervous." Harry admitted. He played with one of the buttons on his coat, pushing it in and out of place as he tried to calm his heart.

 

"I'd be worried if you weren't." Louis said, causing Harry to laugh at his honesty, and then he took a step back to put a bit of space between them, "I, um, I got you something."

 

Harry faced him, lips already parted to say something, but Louis interrupted him before he could, "And yeah I know I didn't have to, blah, blah, blah, but I figured this is worth celebrating. It's not much, but I thought you might... Here." Louis reached into the pocket of his blazer and pulled out a small box that he handed to Harry, staring downwards to avoid meeting his gaze.

 

"I know it's dumb, and it's kinda cheesy, but I figure it's the thought that counts and all that, right? Figured you should have something to remember this by..." Louis mumbled awkwardly, one arm crossed over his chest and holding onto the opposite elbow while he shifted from one foot to the other. He heard a soft creaking sound as Harry opened the box and waited quietly for him to speak.

 

"Lou..." Harry reached out and gently forced Louis to look up and meet his gaze with a hand under his chin, but before he could say anything further Louis was already rambling again.

 

"I know it's nothing fancy like you usually like, and it's not much or anything, but I figured-"

 

"I love it, thank you." Harry cut him off gently, leaning down to place a quick kiss to his lips.

 

Louis softened considerably at the reassurance, already feeling more confident in his choice by the simple words and tone, "Okay. Good. M'glad."

 

"Gimme a sec and we'll be off." Harry placed the box on his dresser and pulled out the piece of jewelry Louis had given him. It was a simple silver chain with a paper plane pendant.

 

"You don't, um, you don't actually have to wear it. I know it's not really your style." Louis vaguely gestured to Harry's bold outfit, far more fashion forward than a small bit of jewelry.

 

"Of course it's my style. You're my style."

 

"That doesn't even make sense." Louis mumbled and took the ends of the necklace away from Harry to clasp it himself as he was clearly struggling with it. "You never make any sense."

 

"Mm. And you love it." Harry turned back to him once the necklace was in place, his fingers reaching to play with the little paper airplane immediately.

 

"Only maybe." Louis took Harry's coat lapels and tugged them down as he leaned slightly upwards to kiss him, "We off, Popstar?"

 

"Yeah. You ready?"

 

"As ready as you are, I'm sure." The most reassuring thing about the entire situation was that they were both equally nervous, for different reasons but none the less relatable.

 

"Well, let's do this then. The car should be here by now." Harry took his hand and led them out of the house, shoving his keys and phone in his big coat pocket and closed the door behind them with a soft sigh. The thought of not going and staying at home cuddling over a soppy film was ridiculously tempting.

 

Louis tugged on his sleeve and he dropped the thought, opening the door for Louis before taking his own seat in the chauffeured posh car he didn't really have a choice in renting for the evening. The award show was held in London, and the drive wasn't nearly as long as Harry had wished it would be. There was lots of traffic on the streets near the main building, but specified people were guiding the cars and the celebrities to their destination with little delay.

 

"How you holding up?" Louis asked, voice low so as not to be heard by the driver. He held Harry's sweaty hand in one of his, and leaned against his shoulder to pull his eyes from the window.

 

"Ehh." Harry made a mumbled sound in response, not quite an answer but enough for Louis to understand. He didn't push it further.

 

He could spot lights and people and cameras and other mildly terrifying things through the tinted glass... and he was scared. It was only reminding himself repeatedly that he was doing this for Harry that kept him sane and away from any obvious indications of his fear.

 

Harry didn't speak until the car stopped in front of a large stretch of walkway with reporters, interviewers, and fans lining the sides.

 

"We're doing this then." It almost sounded like a question, but Louis knew it wasn't.

 

"After you?" Louis obviously didn't know exactly how it all worked, only having seen the show on TV and never in person, and was going to do his best to follow Harry's lead without causing too much trouble.

 

Harry sighed heavily, "Yeah, I guess so."

 

Out of the window they were able to see a man dressed all in black with an earpiece in place approach the vehicle and step up to the backseat door. The man opened it a crack, a clear indication to the people inside that they were being asked to exit the car, and he then pulled it wide open to give them room to do so.

 

Harry stepped out of the car first, a bit shaky with a large and forced smile in place. He held a hand out towards the open space and Louis took it, allowing Harry to gently tug him out of the car.

 

He had been able to hear the noise while inside the safe confines of the car, but now in the open air it was amplified tenfold. He wanted to cover his ears from the shouting and cover his eyes from the lights, but he only clung to Harry's hand and followed his even steps down the red carpet. (Louis was a tad surprised to find it was an actual red carpet, it somehow made the whole thing even posher).

 

The shouting grew as people saw them and Harry waved and smiled like he was expected to. They walked up to the first interviewers, a man and a woman with fake smiles, designer clothing, and far too much makeup. They greeted them politely enough, but Louis still felt uneasy. Though he pretty much felt that way about the entire situation.

 

"How are you doing, Harry?"

 

"We heard the new song, it was awesome! Did you write that recently?"

 

"It's great to have you back on the scene and we look forward to hearing more music from you."

 

"Have you heard from the other boys? Are there any plans for a reunion?"

 

"Are you excited to present the award today? It's been quite some time since you've been to a show, hasn't it?"

 

They moved on from the couple to a different interviewer and then another and another, most of them asking the same questions, or similar at the very least. None of the first few brought up the drugs or Harry's fall from stardom, as Harry himself liked to call it, but it was certainly implied in smartly worded questions. They pretended not to hear the undertones and Harry answered in short, simple ways that was clearly unappeasing to the interviewers.

 

"How was your vacation?" Slowly became, "How was rehab?"

 

And "I hope you enjoy the show tonight." Became, "I hope you don't enjoy the show quite as well as the last one!"

 

The reporters were clearly not getting the reactions or answers they were looking for, and started pushing their questions into more sensitive directions. Louis' hold on Harry's hand only grew tighter, working hard to hold himself back from saying anything. He couldn't admire Harry any more than he did in that moment, watching him answer invasive questions with a smile and a gentle and open response, something Louis knew he could probably never do.

 

"It was a difficult situation, but I'm happy to say it's turned out alright." Harry said pleasantly in response to the umpteenth ridiculous question about private things.

 

"And... Louis, is it?" The woman turned to him, her red lips pulling into an increasingly familiar fake smile.

 

Louis only nodded, a little startled to be addressed. Most of the other reporters had simply ignored him and very few had given him a greeting. None had spoken to him further than that. Louis wished they could finally make it into the safety of the building - hardly several feet away now.

 

He kind of wished he could have a drink, and couldn't imagine how Harry was feeling by this point.

 

"You must be quite proud to have been able to fix the great Harry Styles! He's a bit of a tough nut to crack, isn't he? Any tips for the rest of us?"

 

Louis stared at her for a long moment, long enough for her to start shifting awkwardly. He caught Harry's blank stare out of the corner of his eye, and it only fueled his next words.

 

"You're not in a relationship are you?" That only startled her into further silence and she gaped at him in surprise, "If you are, I feel very sorry for your partner. That's not how relationships work - I did not _fix_ him, because he wasn't broken. Harry got himself out of a tough situation. He helped himself, and I had nothing to do with it. I was only the person who was lucky enough to see the end of his long road to recovery. You have no right to devaluate how hard he'd worked to get where he is by perpetuating some shitty romantic trope of a person needing to be 'fixed' to be happy. It's disgusting."

 

Harry's eyes grew a little wider, but he remained silent as Louis tugged him away from the stunned interviewer. They took several steps, almost entering the building, before Harry gently moved them to the side.

 

Louis was still fuming towards the stupid question, but he kept his eyes down as he was also a little bit ashamed. He'd never been able to bite back his words, a habit he liked to blame on his mother, but he'd wanted so badly to do well for Harry because he knew how important it was for him to impress everyone. And of course Louis fucked it up.

 

Harry's face was kind as he reached out a hand to Louis' cheek and pulled him for a kiss that was filmed and captured by too many people. He couldn't help but heat up at the touch.

 

"Thank you." Harry mumbled, and it was all he said after he drew back. He took Louis' hand again and brought him into the building, leaving Louis no room to say anything further.

 

The building had looked mediocre from the outside, but it was all flashy lights and celebrities and security guards and instructions and a lot of commotion once inside. The screaming fans seemed docile in comparison.

 

They were guided to their seats by harsh speaking security and people with headsets and clipboards. The two boys were silent as they sat down and waited for the room to fill up even more. There were already tons of people, performers and singers and families and fans and workers rushing around trying to get everything together.

 

Louis found it fascinating to watch the behind the scenes of the show he annually saw from the other side of the screen.

 

He turned to Harry, "M'sorry, love." Because that was the foremost thought in his mind at the moment, despite the present distractions.

 

"Don't. It's... It’s okay. I - thank you. Just. Thanks." Harry whispered. A lot of people had yet to sit down and there were few near to overhear them, but he still kept his voice low. Harry laced their fingers together over the armrest between them.

 

"Okay." Louis said, letting the topic fall. Harry had enough to think about. "What award are you giving out again? Solo female or something?"

 

"Yeah. International female solo artist."

 

"Right. How you feeling?"

 

"Scared shitless."

 

"At least you look handsome." Louis teased in an attempt to draw out Harry's dimples.

 

He let out a shaky breath and smiled, "Well that'll be one less thing for them to talk shit about."

 

"Just try to focus on the show, yeah? Get your mind on other things."

 

"I guess. Thanks for coming with me. I know I'd said I'd be fine to do this on my own if you didn't want to come, but after doing it I don't think I would have been able to. As much as I love my job there's some real shitty bits to it too."

 

"You would have been your usual charming self." Louis said assuredly, "But I'm glad I came too. Kind of fun to see the behind the scenes. Although it makes it all a bit less... magical."

 

Harry laughed at that, knowing how true the statement was.

 

The place continued to fill up for several minutes, and soon there were employees gesturing and instructing people to sit down and get into place. Bodies moved where they were wanted and little red lights were appearing in the distance, indicating that the cameras were being turned on. The host stepped up onto the stage and all of a sudden the show was starting.

 

Through words, acts, and nominations Harry's hand grew steadily sweatier, and Louis was pretty sure he could feel a quiver every now and then. Mainly when the nominations were taking place, probably a mix of flashbacks and fear of what was to come.

 

Harry only had to go on after the midpoint of the show and Louis had to admit that it seemed a lot longer than when he was sitting at home and watching it happen. It was nice to see all these stars he would have once wished to see live, British stars and other celebrities he mildly recognized, but he could hardly get his mind on anything other than his nervous boyfriend.

 

They tried to joke around a bit, talking about outfits and songs and making fun of stiff bodyguards with scowls on their faces. It only soothed Harry for seconds at a time and he would quickly get distracted by the reality of the situation.

 

"Harry Styles? Time to get backstage." During the commercial break a little past the halfway mark of the show a man with a headset approached them with instructions for Harry.

 

The man stared at them impatiently as Harry turned to Louis with what looked like nausea on his face, "Do you think if I pretend he's not there he'll go away?"

 

Louis didn't deign the question with a response and only leaned forward to kiss his cheek and told him, "Go be brave."

 

Harry sighed, "I'll try." He got up and steeled his face into a pleasant expression that was obviously (to Louis) forced.

 

Louis watched him follow the employee down the aisles and through some door that would lead him to the backstage area. He wished he could be going with him, wished he could be by his side for the entire duration of this event that was causing Harry so much stress, but all he could do was sit and wait.

 

His leg shook up and down as the commercial drew to an end and the host introduced the next segment - Harry's nomination category. Louis dug his nails into the cushion of his armrests as he anxiously watched Harry step up onto the stage to a chorus of cheers and murmurs.

 

There was probably nobody in the world who believed in Harry Styles quite like Louis did, but fuck if that didn't make him more anxious.

 

"Thank you," Harry said to the audience as he stepped in front of the microphone with a little paper in hand, "It's an honour to be here to present this category for you all. Here are the nominees for international female solo artist."

 

A screen to the side showed clips of the five selected women, but Louis kept his gaze on Harry. He stood still with what seemed to be a genuine smile on his lips for what felt like the first time that evening. He'd been terrified of being booed, yet there was nothing to that effect. There was a bit of gossip going on of course, but nothing particularly hurtful or mean.

 

The video stopped and Harry proceeded to call out the name of the winning lady. There were more cheers and clapping as she climbed up on stage to join Harry and present her own speech. He spotted Harry move off to the side and release the heaviest sigh of relief now that it was over. He wouldn't be expected back on camera and in hardly two seconds someone was coming up to him to escort him off the stage.

 

Louis breathed out slowly, lungs burning from how long he'd been holding it out of subconscious need to feel invincible though he was not the one being scrutinized. It was probably a little bit of projection there. Yet now that it was over he could let his body loosen up and his nerves unwind - suddenly the seat actually felt comfortable and the air not quite as thick and heavy.

 

He knew Harry wouldn't join him for a few more minutes, and he watched the show go on with genuine interest. He was still thinking about Harry - when wasn't he? - and about how he was doing backstage and if people were treating him kindly. Judging solely by what Harry had told him about these people, they wouldn't be too happy with him for getting through the whole thing without error. Not that they would say it so directly.

 

With wandering eyes Louis caught sight of Harry coming down the aisles towards their seats during the next commercial break. With a bright smile in place Harry greeted him with a stretched out, "Hi!"

 

"Hey there sunshine." Louis leaned into him as he sat down, pressing a kiss to his cheek and keeping their shoulders aligned, "Have a good time up there?" It was an understatement to how huge the whole situation had been, but it wasn't the time nor place to properly express his enthusiasm.

 

Harry released a big breath, "Yeah, you could say that."

 

"Were they being assholes to you?" Louis frowned at his soft tone, having expected a bit more energy from him now that it was over, but Harry shook his head.

 

"No, no, nothing like that. Just... Weird, I guess. They were all treating me like a stranger when I've met most of them before, and they were cautious around me like they were waiting for me to act out in some way. I guess I kind of wish I was still a little bit ignorant and I didn't know better, I think is what I'm trying to say." Harry said with a short laugh, running a hand through his loose curls in a nervous gesture.

 

"I'm sorry, love." Louis squeezed his hand reassuringly, "But it must be pretty awesome knowing you're shoving their expectations up their arses."

 

"Yeah, I'll admit I do feel quite smug about making them eat their words."

 

"Good, since that was kind of the whole point of being here."

 

Harry looked like he was going to deny that, but had to nod in agreement as it wasn't a lie, "I guess so. Now we just need to tough out the backstage party for a bit and then we're done here. It's gonna suck, but at least we're almost done."

 

"Look at you, Mister Optimist. Does the after party bit start right after the show?"

 

"Once the cameras are off. It's not much of a party or anything, but everyone goes backstage to chat and catch up and as much as I'd love to skip it, it'd make it pretty obvious I don't want to be here."

 

"And that'd be a real shame." Louis may have told Harry more than once that he should tell them they're all a bunch of cunts instead of being a pacifist about the whole thing, but he'd shut down that idea pretty quickly. (Though he'd admitted it was a tempting thought). (Which may explain why he didn't mind when Louis did it for him).

 

"It really would. They probably wouldn't offer me quite as many free hors d'oeuvres." Harry said as he pulled a napkin out of his pocket, unfolding it to reveal a devilled egg. He held it out to Louis with a grin.

 

He rolled his eyes because of course Harry would have food in his pocket, and he took a bite out of the offered treat, handing half back to Harry to finish. "Thanks. How much longer is this thing?"

 

"Half hour I think?"

 

It sounded like a long time to Louis, but it managed to go by quickly enough. With the most stressful part over they were finally able to watch the show with interest and enthusiasm. They joked and made comments about the events happening in a way that was more natural and relaxed than it had been earlier.

 

After the host did the ending spiel of crap nobody cared about, the show ended and the cameras turned off and all the lights turned on. Harry and Louis stayed in place for a while longer, watching as people moved about to where they were needed or wanted. Louis could see a lot of the stars heading backstage, as Harry had mentioned, and they followed the crowd there hardly minutes later.

 

Backstage was no quieter than the rest of the building, and the two boys had a hard time making out words and people in the crowd. They didn't really have any plans to talk to anybody, but it still made it all entirely uncomfortable.

 

Yet it didn't take too long for it to clear out a bit, a lot of the employees - crew and technicians and people of the like - were leaving the stars to chat and take their needed pictures. Harry pulled Louis over to a table with food and drinks, they ignored the latter and took a look at the snacks. Nobody came up to them, but Louis was under the impression it was more because people weren't sure whether Harry wanted them to rather than because they didn't want to. He was also very sure Harry wouldn't agree with that observation and he kept it to himself for a full two minutes.

 

The food was delicious, no doubt about that, but he spotted Harry glancing off after a few bites. At first he thought he might be looking towards the drinks, figuring they definitely needed to go if that was the case, but when he followed his gaze it went beyond the booze and towards a group of people at the other side of the cluttered room.

 

He was pretty sure no one was looking at them or listening to them, but Louis still felt the need to get close to Harry's side and whisper his next words, "Whatcha lookin' at?" Louis probed, poking Harry's side to get his attention.

 

"Nothing, nothing I-" Harry shook his head, but Louis interrupted him.

 

"Who's that?" His eyes flicked over towards the group and Harry followed his gaze. He quickly glanced away, cheeks going red in embarrassment knowing he'd been caught. "Mm?"

 

"Nobody. I just... I knew them. They work on the radio - you've probably heard them. The tall one, there, that's Nick. He was a good friend, and he's the one who played our song on the radio."

 

"Oh. Was he a good friend or a 'good' friend?"

 

It took Harry a second to understand what he was referring to, but once he caught on he smiled and shook his head, "No, no, nothing like that. He was my friend before I... You know, before. He was always nice to me, even after, but he definitely didn't support it. At least not how I was doing it anyways."

 

"That's great, Harry. You should go talk to him."

 

"I actually really think I shouldn't." Harry occupied himself by dissecting some caviar, "How much of this stuff do you think I can hide in my pockets?"

 

"Lots I'm sure. You obviously want to talk to him."

 

"Doesn't make it a good decision."

 

Louis placed a hand on Harry's lower back and with the other took the food away from him to get his full attention, "Harold. The reason we're here is to pretend to give a shit, and don't you think it'd be a lot more fun if you talked to someone other than me? Don't you want to catch up on old times or something equally sappy?"

 

"I like talking to you. And food is fun." Harry picked up what hardly resembled caviar anymore and offered it to him with a weak grin.

 

"Go talk to your friend, Harry. Let him know you're thankful that he got your song on the radio." Louis pushed, removing the food from his hand once more.

 

"I did say thank you! It was a text, but it still counts. And if he wanted to talk to me he could have come here at any point of this conversation. But he hasn't and nobody else has either and most of these people know me." Harry's expression turned somber at his words, far different than his previous attempts at seeming like he was teasing and joking.

 

Louis wanted to pull him close and kiss him to reassure him, but knew he needed to keep a strong hold of his stance on the matter, "Maybe it's the fact were standing by the food table like a couple of anti-social schoolboys. They probably think that you don't want them coming up to you."

 

"... Maybe." Harry acquiesced as he took in their position. It wasn't an improbable idea. He bent down and kissed Louis' cheek, "Fine, fine, I'm going. Are you coming?" He asked with a tone suggesting he knew the answer.

 

"Think I'll stay here and try some more of this funky looking shit. Come get me if you need me, I won't be far."

 

Harry sighed and kissed Louis' lips this time before stepping away from his side and towards the group of people he once called friends. Louis watched him out of the corner of his eye, spotting him greet them in a way that was far too awkward for his usually charming boyfriend. They greeted him back and there were smiles, so Louis felt no further need to worry.

 

As much as he pretended to be brave in front of Harry, acting as though he knew all would be well when he had no real clue how things would turn out, that's all it really was. Acting.

 

After all this time he'd gotten quite good at it. Even as confident as he was, having an anxious Harry around him so much caused him to get his own doubts and fears every once in a while.

 

With Harry no longer by his side, Louis felt a little more insecure in the room full of people he didn't know nor identified with in any way. Eventually someone came near the table for something to eat, and they exchanged greetings and talked about the show. Louis was pretty sure he recognized the man's face, but didn't ask for his name.

 

When he left the table there was another and another, people briefly chatting with him before heading off to their real acquaintances. Louis was glad for the distractions and was also quite glad he was able to keep calm when he knew exactly whom was in front of him.

 

Between words with strangers he caught glimpses of Harry talking with his friends, genuine laughter and smiles on his lips.

 

At one point he looked off to the side and Harry was gone. Louis assumed he'd found other people to talk to and didn't think much of it, still occupied by speaking to strangers near the hors d'oeuvres.

 

"Yeah, mate, Donny all the way. Even if we haven't been doing very well lately, I've got my hopes up for this season."

 

"Nothing wrong with a bit of hope! I gotta go, but it was nice meeting you."

 

Louis shook the man's hand and saw him off with a smile, always happy to meet another footie fan. Before the man could be completely out of his sight he spotted Harry coming up to him, and as soon as he caught sight of his expression he could only frown in concern.

 

"Lou, Lou." Harry whispered urgently, tone wavering and hands shaking around a champagne glass.

 

"Harry?" The look of utter anxiety on Harry's face, pale with lips drawn tight kept him from immediately asking about the less than child-friendly drink.

 

"They-they gave me this and... and I don't-I don't know, um what, what to do." Harry stuttered and held out the glass to Louis.

 

Motherfuckers.

 

Louis really wanted to shove the glass in someone's eye. Instead, he took it with a reassuring smile and a pat to Harry's wrist, "Don't worry, love. I'll be right back."

 

With thoughts that were a little more murderous than usual, he went up to the bar and handed the bartender the full glass of champagne in exchange for two plastic cups of orange juice. He tried not to be unkind to him, knowing he wasn't the cause, but he was still pretty sure he came off a bit snarky anyways.

 

What kind of assholes would give a recovering alcoholic booze?

 

When he returned to Harry he had greatly calmed down, his cheeks back to normal colouring and no more visible shaking. Louis pressed a kiss to his cheek and handed him the plastic cup.

 

"Here you go, some good ol' OJ. They won't try to give you anything if you have something in your hand." He stayed close to his side, feeling warmer as Harry placed a hand at his waist and tugged him in even closer.

 

"I think... I think I'm ready to go home now." He mumbled as he stared intently at the orange liquid.

 

"... Okay." They probably hadn't been there as long as Harry had intended, but Louis could tell the evening had worn him thin. The mix of stress and accomplishment had drained his adrenaline - it was time to go home. Louis placed their drinks on the table and then took Harry's hand as he guided them out of the building.

 

Harry waved to the group of people he'd spoken to earlier as they walked by them on their way out, and they were quick to wave back. Louis was glad to see that that had worked out for him, especially when Harry had really thought it wouldn't. At least this night had brought on some good memories to counter the not-so-good ones.

 

"Anything else we need to do?" Louis asked, but it was clear their destination was their awaiting vehicle.

 

"All we need to do is go home."

 

There were still a lot of people milling about, but not too many paid them any attention. They were able to leave the building peacefully and they requested their car from a bored looking and sounding valet.

 

They stayed in silence in the cool evening air, wrapped around each other for warmth and probably for comfort in Harry's case. It took a few minutes for their car to show up with their hired driver, and the boys slipped in quickly. Harry told the driver to take them home and they settled in for the relatively short drive.

 

Louis leaned into Harry as he was quick to pull him in for a hug - no words, simply happy to nuzzle into his neck and feel him close with no prying eyes. They remained in the same position until the driver came to a stop in front of their home. With low words to the driver and gentle steps they left the vehicle and made their way inside the safest place they knew.

 

There was definitely a thick air around them, a desire to talk but none to form words, and they ended up migrating to the bedroom to change into more comfortable clothing. Louis threw off his blazer and slacks, remaining in his boxers and t-shirt, and he laid across the bed to watch Harry undress much more slowly and meticulously.

 

"I expected a lot of things from this evening, and it went better than I thought, but... I wanted - at least I think I wanted - somebody to look at me. I know that sounds conceited as fuck, but I don't mean it that way. I thought somebody would want to talk to me. At least one fucking person." Harry neatly placed his suit back in his closet, the frustration in his voice clear to Louis though his back was to him.

 

"Change takes a long time."

 

"I've been changing for so fucking long! I'm so tired of _changing_ like I'm the only fucking thing that's wrong in this whole fucked up equation!" Harry turned to him with his lips drawn tight and tears shining in his eyes. His desperation was obvious.

 

Louis held out a hand to beckon him over, "C'mere." Harry didn't hesitate and walked right over to the bed to settle next to Louis, "You're not the one who needs to change. They do. They need to change the way they look at you and that won't happen overnight. I wish I could say it will, but... You're not _wrong_ , Harry, you've never been wrong. You've made choices that you've regretted, and you know what? Maybe you'll never forgive yourself for them, but other people already have and they will continue to do so, and you don't get a choice in accepting that."

 

Harry put an arm and leg over Louis and cuddled in close to him, pressing a long kiss to his lips, "M'sorry. Sometimes it feels like I'm making so much progress, and then sometimes it feels like I'm not going anywhere, and it's so frustrating. It feels like I'm going mad."

 

"Just give it time, love. You'll get there, I know you will. You did so fucking good today, Harry. I'm so, so proud of you. I've known you six months and you've made a shit tonne of progress since, I can only imagine where you'll be by this time next year." Louis gently rubbed away one of Harry's stray tears, he wasn't quite sure why they were there, but after the day he'd had Louis knew Harry was a bit fragile emotionally and didn't worry about it the second they appeared as he would normally.

 

"I... I haven't heard that in a long time." Harry's voice wavered slightly as he said this, and he only elaborated after a second of staring into Louis' confused gaze, "No one's been proud of me since... It's been years."

 

"Well, I'm sure no one could feel as proud of anyone as I am of you right now."

 

Harry grinned at his softly spoken words that were dripping in affection, and he gently rolled on top of him and pressed short kisses to his cheeks and jaw, their bodies aligned and warmth flowing between them, "Here. I want to be right here this time next year."

 

Louis smiled and wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders to bring him in for a kiss, hoping to hide the obvious expression on his face. They kissed softly for a while, gentle and warm, fingers and toes curling in bliss as his heart filled with affection. In that moment of comfort and tranquillity, feeling at home and safe, there were words in his mind so strong that as they parted to breathe his lips and tongue moved to form them, but he stilled them.

 

He bit them back at that moment, but knew he couldn't any longer. It hurt, and not because he wanted to say them in the first place, but because he felt he couldn't.

 

Harry brought their lips together again, but Louis gently pushed him back. The sense of longing at the loss of his touch was enough to convince him he'd waited too long.

 

"Harry, I... There's something I want to talk to you about." The awkwardness and possibly the sense of seriousness in his tone caused Harry to draw back without a protest, sitting back on his butt and grabbing Louis' hands to tug him up into a sitting position as well.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Will I really be here next year?" Harry's expression gained a mix of confusion to his previous concern, and Louis continued with his eyes glued to the opposing wall over Harry's shoulder, "You know, we never really talked about how long..." He vaguely gestured between the two of them, " _This_ was going to go on."

 

"Oh." Harry's face went blank at his words, "I guess we didn't... Did you want to?"

 

"It should have been one of the first things we talked about, Harry. You have to know that."

 

"I thought we'd figure it out over time. I didn't think we needed a deadline."

 

Louis could sense that Harry was starting to get defensive, retreating into short and strained answers in an attempt to protect himself, and Louis knew he couldn't beat around the bush on the matter, "I thought so too. I really did. When we agreed to this I knew that it couldn't last, in reality we're pretty much like friends with benefits and we all know those don't work out as planned."

 

"We're not though - this isn't like that. This is _comfortable_. I..."

 

"This is comfortable." He agreed, "It's too comfortable and I can't do this anymore."

 

"And this couldn't wait? At least one day?"

 

Harry was crying.

 

"No! Because it _hurts_ , because I feel like I'm lying to you and I hate it. Because you're my best friend and my favourite person and every day with you is so amazing. And you make being with you feel like home when I haven't had that since coming to London. I can't wait, Harry, because every day I see you being brave and strong makes me want to be strong, and you make me feel like I _am_ strong and there's nothing in the world I can't do. Because I'm so in love with you and if I wait one more day I'd be keeping the truth from you and I can't do that to the man who trusts me."

 

Louis was crying too. Drained emotionally, he felt too tired to wipe his tears away. He met Harry's shocked gaze and finished in a softer tone, "Maybe with a deadline I could have spent my time counting down rather than falling in love with you. I know what you wanted between us, and the last thing I would ever want is to lose your friendship, but you know I can't keep quiet on things that are important to be open about."

 

"Lou..."

 

"Harry, you mean so much to me and I know some people are uncomfortable with this sort of thing, but what we have is special and I want to continue being your friend. I just can't do this," Another vague gesture between them, "Anymore. It's too much for me." The tears were stopping, a bit more relieved by the lack of negative emotion on Harry's face. It was still peacefully blank, which wasn't the worst thing Louis could imagine seeing there.

 

"I don't know what to say." Harry said gently, wiping his face clear of his previous tears.

 

"Say we can still be friends?" Louis asked hopefully.

 

"No, I don't mean - I mean I don't know what to say back."

 

"I didn't tell you expecting you to say anything back." His voice cracked, but he pretended it didn't. Of course it would have been the ideal situation, but - as he'd said - he didn't expect it.

 

"This is so comfortable to me, and it's like I work so hard to change everything else in my life that I settled into this so easily and never thought of where this was going. I'm so sorry, Louis, of course you would want this to go in some direction. I always kind of assumed you'd get bored or annoyed of me, or I'd fuck up somehow so badly that you'd leave. I didn't like to think about it too much."

 

"It's fine, Harry. I'm happy that we're comfortable and I'm happy we've had all these good times together, and I want them to continue. Just a bit differently that's all."

 

"It's not fine, it's really not fine at all to be honest. You've clearly been thinking about this for a while and here I've been just willing to go nowhere with this. I want to be able to say anything back to you one way or another, but at this point I feel it'd be wrong. I haven't taken time to think on this the way you have, and anything I say wouldn't be as genuine as what you've given me. Give me a bit of time to really think about this so that I can give you an answer that's honest and thought out the way you deserve."

 

"... Okay." Louis acquiesced. Harry would take no other answer.

 

"You know you're my favourite person too, and I'll say it a million times that you mean the world to me. Thank you so much for opening up to me, and I promise to work through this in my own head so I know what I really want for us."

 

"Harry, you don't have to stress over this so much. It's okay that you don't feel the same, and it's okay that you haven't thought about our future together the way I have. I promise it's okay." Louis couldn't understand Harry's need to think it over so intensely. Louis had gathered the pieces over a long stretch of time and they had come together on their own when the time was right. If Harry couldn't say he loved him back, maybe it wasn't the right time or Louis wasn't the right person.

 

"If I said it back to you right now, would you believe me?"

 

The answer was no, and Harry knew it too.

 

"I respect you too much to give you an answer you won't believe. Give me time to sort it out, but for now how about we get some rest, yeah? It's been a long day for both of us." Harry reached out for him, wanting to pull him in for a hug, but Louis shifted back while shaking his head.

 

"No, I... I can't. I'm going to go home, Harry. I think - I think that'd be for the best." Louis moved back until he could place his feet on the ground and stand. Harry put his hands back down into his lap and stared at him for a moment before getting to his own feet in an awkward stumble.

 

"Louis, we don't - we're okay. We're okay..." Harry stepped around the bed to him, but was clearly hesitating in reaching out to him.

 

"I never said we weren't. Harry, I was in my place this morning and it felt like being in a stranger’s home. Maybe some time apart will do us good, maybe it'll clear both our minds a bit." Louis slipped on his slacks, wanting to get dressed and also wanting an excuse not to look him in the eyes.

 

"I don't want you to go."

 

That was harder to hear than it had been to tell Harry he loved him.

 

That was also probably a bit of an indication to what their relationship consisted of up to that point.

 

"Do you think I want to?" He asked in return, "I love you, Harry, the only thing I want to be doing right now is kissing you, but I can't. We've agreed what we have is special, yeah? So let's avoid fucking it up. I'm going to mine, we'll take some time apart to think, and we'll see each other again soon."

 

"How long is soon?"

 

"I'll leave that up to you." Louis walked to the bedroom door and intended to leave, but hesitated. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left Harry's presence without giving him a kiss. It had practically become muscle memory.

 

Harry took the moment in hand, taking a couple long strides until he stood in front of Louis, and he grabbed his hips and pulled him in for a harsh kiss. Louis instinctively matched his fervour, gripping his biceps like a lifeline and kissing back like it might be the last time he'd get the chance.

 

It was Harry who drew back after a moment, both boys breathless and Louis staring at him with wide eyes. They didn't move for a short while, gazes locked as they caught their breath. Eventually Louis pulled away completely, stepping back into the bedroom doorway and seeming flustered.

 

"I, um, I'm gonna... go now. I'll - yeah. Bye, Harry." Louis hurriedly exited the room, knowing his face was flushed and feeling the speedy rhythm of his heart.

 

How could they be friends when a kiss could throw him so completely off balance?

 

There was no other noise in the house other than his own as he slipped on his shoes and started his car. He drove home with his hands shaking on the wheel.

 

Once there all he could think to do was call his mother and cry as he told her his sorrows - although he could not name a single regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well howdy there! As I'm sure you can tell from the end of this chappie there's really not much left to this story.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you're looking forward to seeing what's left!! Please let me know what you thought, you know I love to hear from you :D
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you guys soon for the next chapter :D


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy <3

"Mate, it's so good to hear from you!"

 

"You... you called me?" Harry cleared his throat to brush off his own confusion, "But yeah, I'm glad you called." He thought he might not sound as enthusiastic as he was actually feeling, but it wasn't brought to attention.

 

"I saw you at the Brits last night! Looks like you're doing a lot fucking better, huh? Hadn't seen you looking that good in ages, it's a nice change."

 

"Thanks, Niall." After many years of being around his Irish friend he'd learnt not to be bothered by his lack of filter and to hear only the genuinity and good intentions behind the words.

 

"Listen, Harry, I've been thinking it might be good to have you over soon. I'm having a barbecue in a couple weeks. Liam and Zayn'll be coming with the families and I thought you guys might like to join."

 

Harry was startled by the invitation, almost as much as when he'd spotted the familiar phone number on his phone screen, "Oh! I'd love - um, 'you guys'?"

 

There was a pause.

 

"Um... You and the hubby?" Niall elaborated hesitantly, clearly unsure if that was even the question in the first place.

 

But it had been, and Harry could only stutter, "Oh, you mean, um, Louis? I, uh, dunno if... Well I can ask, but we're not... Um, married? We're not married? And there's like... Uh. Yeah. Okay. I'll see. I'll ask and I'll let you know if he'll be able to come."

 

"O-kay? Sorry, mate, saw you two acting like a proper old married couple last night, thought maybe... Although I would be a bit upset if you got hitched without telling me. I do expect to be best man after all."

 

"Yeah, yeah, it's cool. Text me the date and I'll get back to you on that."

 

Harry couldn't get their conversation out of his head.

 

It wasn't the first nor the fifth time they'd been legitimately thought to be married, possibly based off the genuine comfort and affection they shared for each other, but the fact that people so easily fit them together without thought or prompt was... strange. As if it were normal that if Harry was there, Louis would be too.

 

Not that it wasn't true or even surprising. It simply startled him, as if he'd never noticed it before and now that he had it was impossible to ignore.

 

After getting the call from Niall he called his mother to lament, and before he could get the chance to do so she was asking about Louis. How he was and if he'd enjoyed the stew she'd brought over the other day. Instead of telling her about what had happened as he'd intended, he answered her questions and ended the call. She probably wouldn't understand what was on his mind.

 

They seemed so perfect, and clearly everyone else thought so, but thinking of the future was terrifying to him - having always pictured darkness and relapse, sadness and drugs, or even his own inevitable death as what awaited him. He'd never imagined a white picket fence with children and stability as something that was genuinely attainable for him.

 

He liked to think about it, dreamt of it so often it gave him ambition, and the thought of having that kind of future with Louis warmed him deeply, but he couldn't convince himself that that was something he could give Louis.

 

Louis had shown him immeasurable patience and kindness, and what he now knew to be love, but could Harry return that the way he wanted?

 

He picked up the frame he'd put on a shelf in the living room without too much thought as to why several months ago. Louis looked happy in the picture, as did Harry, and it was only one of many that had been taken of them, with or without their consent or knowledge.

 

They were happy - he really didn't need a picture to remind himself of that. He wasn't perfect, and neither was Louis, and they would probably fuck up at times and get into fights and maybe things would get hard, but that was the truth for all relationships and it wasn't fair to hide forever.

 

The hardest part, he found, was admitting to himself that Louis' admittance changed things, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. They couldn't stay as they were any longer, they had to progress in some direction - whether together or apart.

 

"Do you think you can meet someone for the first time and know that they're going to mean so much to you without really knowing who they are?"

 

"... What? I thought you and Louis were doing good together."

 

"We are."

 

"Then who's this person you've met that's super special?"

 

"I was talking about Louis."

 

"Didn't you meet ages ago?"

 

His sister couldn't sound any more confused, having called to chat only to find him willing to pour his heart out about things she had no way of knowing about.

 

"Yeah, but it wasn't real then. Well, it was, kind of, but it wasn't supposed to be. I think. Anyways, we were faking it all because I thought it would help and Louis has a fucking heart of gold and when I met him he was so... And I knew I couldn't just ask him out because I wasn't ready for that sort of thing. I knew I had to focus on myself at the time, but I knew he was special and I couldn't stand the idea of letting him go without doing something. The thought of us pretending was convenient, you know? It helped me a lot with everything and I still got to be with him without the idea of commitment since we'd both agreed and - fuck, I'm selfish."

 

Gemma let him speak, listening attentively all the while.

 

"It feels stupid to be confused about all this, because it seems like it should be obvious, but I don't... I don't want to fuck up. Not when it comes to Louis, he deserves better."

 

There was a long pause as Harry gathered his breath and Gemma processed his words.

 

"I'm... not sure what you're confused about?"

 

"He told me he loves me. I never thought..."

 

"And you don't love him?"

 

"I didn't say that."

 

"Well if you love him what's the issue?"

 

"I didn't say that either."

 

A pause.

 

"When Louis and I first met we'd slept together and the next morning I saw what people were saying about me, and then I saw Louis getting ready to leave, and I was scared. I had an irrational fear of losing him when I didn't have him in the first place, and articles were back to calling me a whore and I panicked. I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend to fix the mess and keep him at the same time. We'd both agreed on everything, it seemed so simple. I wasn't ready for a relationship then, and I don't know if I am now."

 

"I hate to break it to you, Harry, but you _are_ in a relationship."

 

"... You're very unhelpful, you know."

 

She only sighed. There was nothing she could say to him since he wasn't looking for advice in the first place. If he wanted to empty his troubles on her as a way to clear his mind then she'd let him, but she couldn't help being confused and it showed more than she'd intended.

 

Harry left her there, not seeming to get the answers he wasn't asking for. She wished him luck and he set down his phone on top of one of Louis' text books. He picked it up and stared at the cover, wondering briefly when seeing these things in his home had become normal.

 

Louis' favourite mug was in his cupboard, along with his choice in cereal and snacks. How long had he been absentmindedly putting away his shoes and shoving his dirty clothes in the hamper? Or putting the cap on the toothpaste and bringing Louis' glasses from the bathroom to his bedside table so they'd be nearby in the mornings? And how long had it been since he'd woken up entirely alone in the house without any sign of Louis having scampered off to school or work while leaving a trail of mess behind him?

 

It was the first time in months.

 

He had to think about that, but it had been months.

 

No wonder Louis had grown tired of their standstill.

 

Harry took the book and shoved on his shoes. He slipped into the driver's seat of his car, turning it on and staring at the clock on the dash. He brought his hand in front of him and moved his fingers up and down as he counted in his head.

 

Twenty hours. That's how long he'd managed to last.

 

The drive to Louis' was short and familiar, as was the walk to his door. He pulled out his key and was about to put it in the keyhole, but he hesitated. Louis probably wouldn't appreciate him barging in. Even though he'd never minded before.

 

Instead he put away his keyring and knocked on the door. It felt awkward - he didn't like it.

 

"Just a sec'!" He heard Louis shout from within and Harry could only shift awkwardly as he waited for the door to be opened for him. It took him closer to a minute than a second, and Harry could feel his skin crawling with nerves as he heard silence followed by Louis' eventual footsteps as he neared the door.

 

"Hi." Louis greeted immediately as he opened the door, but his eyes grew wide and his lips snapped shut once he spotted Harry on the other side of the door. He went from startled to a controlled relaxed once he'd fully processed the situation, but he still remained quiet.

 

"Hey," Harry replied. He paused for a moment, almost hoping Louis would talk, but he sensed he wouldn't and forced himself to press on, "Here." He held out the textbook and Louis took it cautiously, "You have the class tomorrow, thought you'd need it."

 

"Oh. Thanks." Louis' voice was small and subdued, and the oddness of the situation spurred Harry into action.

 

Harry stepped forward and on reflex Louis stood still to let him in close, yet he seemed to think twice on it and he moved backwards, giving Harry enough room to enter his flat. He took the invitation that wasn't really an invitation and he walked passed Louis into his apartment.

 

"Harry-" Louis started and closed the door, following closely behind Harry.

 

"No! You got to say your piece yesterday now I get to talk." Harry interrupted him, feeling his heart rate speed up from adrenaline and nerves.

 

"Is this really necessary?" Louis' voice wavered, as if he wanted to sound angry but was too tired to put in actual effort. They wound up in his living room and he dropped the book down on the coffee table in an attempt to use the loud noise as emphasis to his words.

 

"Yes. Yes it is. And don't do that!" Harry stopped walking, now in the center of the living room, and turned to Louis with an accusing pointed finger.

 

"Do what? Stand here in my own home?"

 

"No, I mean the sad thing. Don't look sad like that, it's very distracting."

 

"Well you don't have to be here, do you? You know where the door is." Louis crossed his arms and looked away from an approaching Harry.

 

"No, no, no, for fuck's sake I'm so bad at this." Harry took Louis' cheeks in his hands and forced him to meet his gaze, slowly leaning in and resting their foreheads together, "I'm sorry, you know I'm really shit with words. I just - I hate seeing you sad. And it's a million times worse because I know it's my fault."

 

"It's not your fault." Louis mumbled, unable to keep their gazes locked and closing his eyes. His cheeks grew red, and he could feel the familiar tingles in his skin he always got when he was close to Harry. He wasn't sure if he wanted that to go away or not, but he'd thought it naturally would after so long. Clearly not.

 

"I counted, you know." Harry said after a stretch of silence passed between them. He slowly pulled back and put a bit of distance between them to give himself room to breathe and think about anything other than kissing Louis.

 

"Counted what?"

 

"I could only go twenty hours without seeing you. Twenty hours is how long I could sit there wondering when I’d get to see you again before deciding it was going to be today."

 

"Oh."

 

"Look, I know I said I'd take time to think and I know you probably didn't expect to hear from me for a while, but I just... I didn't need to. I didn't need time. I needed to think and..."

 

Louis made a humming sound in acknowledgement, but looked to the side as he waited anxiously for Harry to continue.

 

"Honestly, when this first started I thought this would get weird eventually. Because anyone would think it would, right? But we went straight through that and we're now beyond the point of weird. We’re comfortable. I wake up and I'm happy that you're there. I go to sleep and I'm happy that you're there. And when I sing I think about you. You leave your clothes all over the place, you never rinse your dishes and it drives me mad, you always shower when you get home - even when it's two in the morning. But you're _home_ and it's _you_ , and fuck I am so, so in love with you."

 

Harry didn't give him time to say anything in response, pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Louis didn't reciprocate as much as he normally would, but Harry was going to blame that on surprise.

 

When Harry pulled back Louis could only mutter, "What?"

 

"I love you so fucking much. I never acknowledged it because I wanted to keep things the way they were, but now I know this isn't going to change anything. It's only going to make things better. I'm ready for that, I'm ready for this. Will you... Will you give me the chance to prove it?"

 

"Always."

 

Louis nodded with teary eyes and threw his arms around Harry's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Harry gripped his waist and lifted him into the air, spinning them around a couple times. They were warm and tingly, their hearts full with love for each other that they could finally express in words when they'd only done so unknowingly through action before.

 

Harry stilled eventually, parting their lips and mumbling softly with a hint of laughter, "I missed you."

 

"You're such a dork," Louis laughed and shook his head, "But I missed you too."

 

They stayed wrapped around each other for a while longer, silent and happy in the soft atmosphere that had fallen around them. Slowly Harry lowered Louis until his feet touched the ground, but he kept him close.

 

"For the longest time I'd think about the future and it terrified me. I always knew what I wanted, having children with someone I love and making music again, but I didn't think it was possible. It would stress me and it sometimes felt like I was obsessing so much it was impacting my life. But with you it... It doesn't matter anymore. You make me happy, and whatever happens, happens. You make my future seem bright even when I don't know where it's going, and I'm okay with that. You make it okay, you always make everything okay."

 

"Well, whatever happens I'm looking forward to doing it with you."

 

"I really love you."

 

Louis smiled brightly, "I love you too."

 

"Let's go home." Harry said.

 

"I'd like that."

 

"And maybe soon we could bring the rest of your stuff too, if you want."

 

Louis stared at him for a moment, and as the words clicked his smile only grew brighter, "Since I already have a key and half the closet, I guess I may as well."

 

"Really?!"

 

"Of course, Harry." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

Harry kissed him once more, aligning their bodies and relishing in their shared warmth.

 

What they'd had between them at the start had been real and strong, yet now that they'd been fully honest about what they wanted it seemed amplified tenfold. Harry wanted to take him back home, but couldn't get himself to let go of Louis long enough to do so.

 

Instead they stayed wrapped around each other, kissing and touching each other as if to refamiliarize themselves with the person they thought they may have lost. It was a habit they wouldn't grow out of, comforted and happy to simply be in each other's presence.

 

The future was promising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully by the time you get to this point the next chapter will be up as I'm putting it up right after unless life breaks XD
> 
> My end notes will be at the end of the next chappie <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for joining me on this ride! I hope you enjoy this epilogue!!

_Five years later..._

 

"Harry, if you start crying again I'm kicking you out of this car."

 

At least getting kicked out from their little black minivan wouldn't be as embarrassing as Louis' previous vehicle, but the offense was still there, "Now that's just mean. Aren't you sad?" Harry pressed a hand to his eyes in an attempt to get the tears to halt. It was only mildly successful.

 

"Of course I'm a bit sad, but they're only going to school, love. They'll be home in a few hours." Louis reached out and linked their hands together, resting them on top of the clutch. His gold band, the only ring he wore, clinked against one of Harry's numerous one's. It was a comforting sound, had been since he'd first gotten it four years prior.

 

Harry had tried to hold off on proposing until Louis had finished his degree, but that had backfired quickly. He'd gotten the ring as preparation for some future plans, but by the end of the day he'd ended up on one knee holding out the ring and a five-year sobriety chip and poured his heart out to a teary-eyed Louis.

 

Luckily with some combined determination they were able to hold off the actual wedding until the summer after Louis' graduation.

 

"But they're just babies, Louis! What if something happens, or - or..."

 

"Or you get lonely?"

 

"Exactly!"

 

Louis shook his head at his husband's exaggeration, "You're worse than the kids. And they're not babies, Harold, they're four and six."

 

" _Babies!_ " At this point Louis knew he was being dramatic as a way to cope with his own feelings rather than out of genuinity, and it only caused him to sigh.

 

"You're being ridiculous."

 

"I know." Harry squeezed his hand and relaxed in his seat, "It's sad to see them go. Even if it's just for school."

 

"They're our babies and we'll miss them, but we'll be okay. Eventually we'll be happy to get them out of the house."

 

After graduating University with a degree in child psychology, he'd gotten a job at the London orphanage. He had solo and group meetings with the children, helping them cope with whatever issues and situations that were present. It didn't pay the same as working in a hospital or a private practice, but it was rewarding and he loved his co-workers and the children.

 

It was after two years that the brother-sister pair, four year old Zachary and six year old Isabelle, joined the orphanage and Louis fell in love instantly. Of course he and Harry had been talking about having children, had been doing so for ages, and they'd even begun the process of getting registered with different adoption agencies.

 

It took them six months to get the necessary work done and they were able to bring their two children home by the summer. And it being summer meant Louis and Harry were able to spend a lot of time with them and for everyone involved to learn and get familiar with each other.

 

Harry was still doing his music - he'd even released an album a couple months after their wedding that Charlotte liked to call their 'sappy wedding soundtrack', and it had been appraised and welcomed by fans and others alike. He was currently in the process of making music with his boys again, plans for a small tour and an album in the works, yet his passion for it was different than before.

 

Making music and performing was something he would love forever, but he was no longer interested in world tours or stadiums.

 

Instead he preferred writing and recording while staying in the comfort of his own home, leaving for a couple weeks every once in a while for a string of concerts, interviews, performances, or all of the above.

 

That meant when they'd been able to bring the children home and had their first summer together, he was home more often than not to spend time with them. He'd grown attached and in love in a way that made Louis' heart warm.

 

And unfortunately that also meant that the separation anxiety was very real and very strong.

 

"I miss them."

 

"I know you do, sweetheart. But hey, at least you get to spend all day with me." Louis offered him a grin and it finally pulled a smile from Harry.

 

"That's true. I've missed you too. You work too much."

 

"I'm looking forward to having you to myself all day." Louis didn't really work too much, but any time away from Harry was too long for him, especially on the days where he had no plans and was home all day.

 

"Mm. Maybe having the kids off to school won't be so bad after all." Harry leaned into him, nuzzling into his neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

 

"Knew you'd see it my way." Louis let go of his hand and curled his fingers into his hair to hold him close as he pulled into the driveway, leaving the car in the lane rather than putting it in the garage as usual. "Don't forget though that Gem and the kids are coming by tonight for dinner."

 

"So we have about 7 hours to ourselves... It's not a lot, but I think we'll make it count." Harry managed to wait for the car to be put in park before pressing his lips to Louis' and letting his hands wander.

 

Five years later, after getting married and having children, Louis could still feel the familiar tingle in his toes as Harry kissed him breathless.

 

"What have I said about sex in the minivan?" Louis asked as he drew back, pointing at Harry accusingly.

 

"We can do it if I say pretty please?"

 

Louis rolled his eyes, "Out." He sounded strict, but the shaking in his hands as he tried to unclip his seatbelt was obvious and he knew Harry could see it.

 

Harry stepped out of the car and made his way to Louis' side to open the door for him. Louis exited the car, but before he could take a couple steps Harry was smoothly picking him up bridal style, a cheeky grin in place.

 

Louis laughed and poked at his dimples, "Looks like I'm at your mercy, what are you gonna do with me?"

 

"I'm going to love you forever and ever, that's what I'm going to do with you."

 

"You're so sappy. It's disgusting." Louis managed to pull him close enough to kiss again, Harry stalling his walk to the bedroom while he was being distracted.

 

"You love it."

 

"I do."

 

Harry gently set Louis down on the bed and he stared down at him with a bright smile, "Been a long time since I heard that one."

 

"Has been, hasn't it?" Louis held his arms out for Harry, who took the cuddle invitation and laid on top of him.

 

They kissed slowly and let their hands wander senselessly, finally having the time to do so now that the kids were gone and the house was quiet. Their clothes were removed piece by piece, their kisses covering every inch of skin as it was exposed. After so long their bodies worked in sync, moving their limbs without needing to be asked and pressing touches in favourite spots.

 

Harry was kissing down his chest, lips warm against tattooed flesh that gave him butterflies every time he saw it. There were a few of them, but they all meant something to them and for them, and Harry loved each and every one. His fingers worked at unbuttoning his jeans when he heard a sound that halted his movements.

 

Louis' phone was ringing.

 

Harry groaned and rested his head on Louis' stomach as he fumbled for the phone in his jeans pocket. Louis pat his head and clicked on the phone.

 

"Hi, mum!"

 

Harry let out another groan. Because whether that was Jay or Anne, the call was going to take ages.

 

"The kids were really great this morning. They were a bit nervous when we dropped them off, but I think it was mostly because of Harry. I'm pretty sure he woke up crying this morning and I'm still not convinced he's stopped for the day."

 

Louis let out a laugh at whatever Anne said, Harry remembering it had to be his own mom when he considered the time of day, and he was only mildly offended by the accusation and he let out a huff to show it. Louis ran a hand through his hair and offered him a teasing grin once Harry had lifted his head to meet his gaze.

 

"I think it really helped knowing they'd be seeing Gem and the boys tonight." Louis continued to chat with Anne and Harry shifted to be comfortable enough for a nap.

 

This was his life now - his thoughts constantly flickering between his children, his song writing, and his husband.

 

It was a nice series of thoughts to wake up to every morning, and an even better one to fall asleep to every night. They rarely strayed to the things that had once haunted him, drugs and alcohol, anger and depression, and on the few times they did he had years of resources and knowledge to help him return his attention to the people and things he loved more than anything else in the world.

 

If he could tell his twenty-four year old self that this would be his future ten years down the line, he wouldn't have believed it. Probably couldn't have imagined it.

 

Yet here he was, the kids off to school and listening to the love of his life have a casual conversation with his mother.

 

From what he'd gotten to experience of it, his future was a pretty good place to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello for the last time! I didn't want to make you guys wait for the epilogue since it's not very long, so here are two consecutive chapters!
> 
> I cannot express in words how much all of your comments and kudos have meant to me during the time that I was completing this story. It's motivating and encouraging and it really warmed me to know that you were enjoying this story and were looking forward to each new chapter!
> 
> I really hope that the ending has been to your satisfaction and it would please me beyond words to know your feelings on the ending and the story as a whole now that you've read it in its entirety.
> 
> Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support and have yourself a lovely, lovely day!
> 
> Until the next one <3
> 
> PS: Bit of self-promoting here, if you are interested, I also have two Larry one-shots on this account as well. They're a bit older and may not be the same quality, but still my babies. Feel free to check them out if you're interested :)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave me a comment, I would love to hear from you! Any comment of any sort would be really appreciated!
> 
> PS: I'm Canadian, so my vocabulary and grammar is a mix of English/American, just an f.y.i while you're reading this.


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